Sovereign (14 page)

“Mint, mint, mint.” Lucius mumbled and opened the nearest stainless steel fridge. “Must be in here somewhere.” He dug through one drawer and then another.

“Can I help?” Laura walked through the door from the dining room.

“Thank god.” Lucius tossed some celery back into a drawer and turned to her. “Mint?”

“Oh.” Laura smiled, her rosy cheeks giving her a youthful glow I feared I would never have again. “Here.” She walked to the farmhouse sink and reached up to the window sill lined with small pots. “How much do you need?”

“This is going to be an all-nighter.” He began to roll up his sleeves, his movements methodical and sharp. “So, give me all you got.”

“No all-nighter.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “One drink.”

“Right.” He smirked. “Just one.”

Laura tore off the tops of the mint, the earthy smell permeating the air. He took the bunch from her and rummaged around in a drawer. “Glasses and ice.” He pulled out a small mortar and pestle as Laura fetched me two highball glasses with ice. “Go ahead and take an ice bucket to the library for me, would you?”

“Yes sir.” Laura turned to a cabinet and plucked out a silver pail.

“Stella, come with me.” He pushed through to the dining room and opened the sideboard. “Where’s the good bourbon?” After leaning over and inspecting each bottle, he shook his head and grinned. “I know where it is. I’ll meet you in the library. Put on some music.”

Usually, I would have snapped back at orders from him, but the fact that he seemed intent on actually making something for me had me complying and strolling, glasses in hand, to the library. Laura had already placed the ice on the table beside the sofa, and I set the glasses next to it.

The library had a small music console, the speakers hidden in the bookshelves. I flipped through several internet stations before settling on something I figured Lucius would like. Classic rock.

He walked in with a large bottle under one arm, and the mortar, pestle, and mint in his hands. I sank onto the sofa and watched him with interest.

“I didn’t know you were a Boston fan.” He smirked and got to work on the mint. “Some people think that crushing the mint ruins the drink. They’re idiots.” He dropped pieces of mint into the small bowl, his long fingers tearing the leaves. Then he grabbed the pestle and began to twist it. “You want the mint to infuse the bourbon, not just serve as a garnish.” The mint crunched under his attack until it was wilted and the library smelled like an herb garden.

Lightning struck close by, the windows rattling from the ensuing boom. He gave the pestle a few more turns before he scooped the crushed mint into the glasses. Then he poured the bourbon over the tops and swirled them.

“Garnish is for pussies. Let’s drink.” He handed me a glass and held his out.

I clinked with him and took a sip. The mint was strong, the bourbon stronger. “Whew.” I took another drink and let the heat race into my stomach and expand from there.

He plopped down next to me. “This is the good shit. No joke.” He took a large swig and settled into the couch, his warmth radiating along my side as the wind howled outside. “Sin’s going to kill me when he gets home and goes looking for his hidden bourbon stash.”

“It’s good. Minty. Definitely strong.” I took another sip. “And I think you enjoy pissing him off.”

“Indeed I do. I had to do a little lock picking to get ahold of this bourbon, so enjoy it.” His tone turned dark even as he smiled at the taste of his drink. “I intend to make sure the bottle is done for by the time Sin gets back.”

Just hearing his name set off a reaction inside me—longing and something akin to being stung. But then my thoughts turned to Sophia. He was with her, maybe fucking her right this moment. I took another pull on the mint julep, the taste less bitter this time than the first.

Lucius got up and went to the fireplace. The muscles in his back pressed against the soft material of his shirt as he leaned over and reached for some wood. Before long he had a fire going and had finished his drink.

He claimed my glass and fixed two more mint juleps. After killing the lights, he sat even closer to me as the fire blazed orange, keeping the clammy air at bay. My head swam, but I enjoyed the lessening ache in my heart. Dulling my senses seemed to be the only way to look at Sin’s conquest of Sophia objectively. It was a ruse. It had to be. He loved me. I’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in his touch.

Before long, Lucius made me another drink and put his arm around me. We didn’t speak, just watched the fire and listened to another storm roll past with a rock tune thumping in the background. I was as content as I could be under the circumstances.

Uncertainty still ruled my future, but I had a trump card—Cal’s proposal.

“You know.” I snuggled into his side, enjoying his familiar sandalwood scent. “Cal made me an offer.”

He tensed. “What sort of offer?”

I giggled, the sound foreign to my ears, especially because what I was about to say didn’t strike me as humorous in the least. I blinked my eyes to clear my swimming head, but it didn’t work, only made it worse.

“Stella.” He gripped my injured upper arm and I yelped.

He eased up. “Fuck, sorry. I forgot. What did Cal say?”

“He said all I have to do is give myself to him for the rest of the contract year and Sin will win.”

He finished his drink and slammed the glass onto the side table. “Drink up.”

My glass was half full, and my eyelids were heavy. “I don’t think I should.”

“Drink it, Stella.” His voice was an insistent whir when I wanted silence.

“Fine.” I drained my glass, the taste barely registering. He took it, set it next to his, and turned to face me.

“Tell me
exactly
what Cal said. Don’t leave anything out.” His light eyes were close, his brow wrinkled as he focused on me.

“I did. He said he wanted complete obedience. Said Sin would have to agree to give me to him and then Sin would win.” I tried to make my mouth stop moving, to stop giving away my secrets, but the gates were open and I was gone. Why did telling someone make it easier?

“Complete obedience?”

“He wants to hurt me.” I shuddered, my body quaking as if another peal of thunder had sounded overhead. “And it’ll save Teddy.”

His jaw tightened, and he put his hand to my cheek. “It won’t come to that.”

I leaned into it, suddenly desperate for a touch that was gentle instead of cruel. “I was going to tell Sin, but he ran away from me. Went to
her
.” I loathed the sorrow in my heart that leeched into my voice.

He put his palm on my other cheek and kissed me. I tried to lean away. He held me steady. His lips were soft, his kiss gentle. It felt like a caress, not him trying to take something from me. He licked my lips, asking instead of forcing. I opened my mouth as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sinking into my mouth as he wrapped one arm around me and pressed me close.

I ran my hands along his shoulders and then trailed my fingers through his hair. He groaned into my mouth when I tugged lightly. His tongue flicked against mine as he lifted me so that I straddled him. Emotions flashed through me—desire, guilt, and anger chief among them. I didn’t love Lucius. My heart belonged to his brother, and there was nothing either of us could do to change it.

I pulled back, breaking the kiss and breathing deeply as he moved to my neck. “I can’t.”

He gripped my ass and ground me against his cock, the movement sending tingles and heat through me. “You can.” He ran his teeth along my throat. Gripping the hem of my shirt, he tugged it until I lifted my arms. He pulled it over my head and tossed it to the floor.

“No.” I protested as he wrapped his arms around me and turned, laying me on my back.

“Yes. Stop fighting it.” Settling between my thighs, he shoved my bra over my breasts and sucked a nipple into his mouth. I moaned and arched off the couch, clawing at his scalp as he bit and licked.

He worked his way back to my mouth, his kiss no longer gentle as he ground his hips into me. My skin crackled like the heat from the fire, and I gave in, letting his hands rove me as his mouth slanted over mine.

As if he sensed my defeat, he gripped my wrists and pinned them over my head. His kiss intoxicated me more than the mint juleps, and I craved the contact, the closeness, the heat he offered. But I didn’t crave it from him. Could I take it anyway? The same way Sin was taking it from Sophia?

His tongue swirled in my mouth as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever seen from him. His movements became rougher, rawer. I knew he could give me pleasure, make me forget, if only for a few fleeting moments. It was right in front of me, mine if I would have it. But even as he set me alight, my mind whispered another name and my heart spoke of someone else.

“I don’t love you.” The words flew out as he kissed to my ear.

“You don’t have to.” He nipped at my earlobe and palmed my breast. I made an
mmm
sound as he ghosted over the healed bite on my neck. Reaching between me and the couch, he crushed me to him, as if he wanted every bit of closeness he could get. Even as Lucius promised me a respite from reality, Sin was there in my memory, his eyes open, and his soul bare. I had to stop.

I embraced Lucius and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “Please don’t. I can’t say no. I need you, but please don’t make me do this.”

He stilled and nuzzled into my hair. My chest constricted, because I needed him more than I desired him. More than that, I was asking for something he’d never offered. Comfort.

He thrust his hips against me, and I bit my lip to stifle my moan at the naked want the friction created.

“You don’t want this?” He nipped at my throat. “You sure? I can feel how hot you are.”

“I want…” I swallowed hard. “I want you, but not like this.”

He stilled. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Again, Stella?” He groaned. “You’re going to cock block me again?”

I nodded and clung to him even harder. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

“Fucking hell.” He pried my arms off him and sat back, eyeing me with open irritation.

I yanked my shirt down as he let out a large exhale. I expected him to storm out or start destroying things. Instead, he stared, his face unreadable in the flickering firelight.

After several uncomfortable seconds, he shook his head. “Goddammit.” He pressed the heels of his palms to his temples. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. Go upstairs. Get in bed. I’ll be there in a little while. I have some fucking blue ball business to take care of first. I’ll be there when I’m done.”

He stood, his erection noticeable in his pants, before helping me to my feet. I walked past, relieved that my freedom was so easily won.

“Wait.” His strained voice stopped me. “One more kiss. That’s the price.”

I could say no and sleep alone like I’d done so many times already. The nightmares were always there, as if they fed on my loneliness. Paying for a night of solace with a single kiss wasn’t too much to ask, especially not after what almost happened on the sofa. Mind made up, I turned and walked back to him.

He put his palms on my cheeks and stroked my hair behind my ears. “Why do I feel like this is the last time? The last chance I’ll get to keep you for myself?”

I gazed up at his thoughtful expression, but I had no answer. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me with a surprising reverence. His touch stayed gentle, and his eyes remained closed. It lasted only a moment. When he pulled away, I could sense he wanted so much more. I couldn’t give it to him. My heart was long since gone, grudgingly given to another. I wanted to take it back. Especially when the thought of him with Sophia hurt like someone was searing my insides over a spit. Still, it was too late.

“Go.” He dropped his hands and kicked his chin up.

I turned, and he smacked my ass. I yelped at the sting.

He held his hands up, his signature smirk back in place. “Sorry. I deserved at least a little something for my troubles.”

I made my way up the stairs, though they seemed far more uneven than usual. Once in my room, I stripped off everything but my panties and donned a tank top and shorts. I crawled into bed and waited.

Then I realized I’d invited a viper into my bed during a haze of drunken lust and sorrow. I rolled over and sank to the floor. Pulling out the bottom drawer, I felt around for my knife, wanting the cold comfort it provided by just being there. Sin had returned it to me after the Christmas trial, his blood dried on the blade.

It was tucked against the bottom of the drawer. Next to the familiar metal, I felt something else. A piece of paper. I gripped it between my thumb and forefinger and pulled it loose. Clicking on the lamp, I winced away from the glare and stared at the paper until Sin’s dark, slanting handwriting materialized.

Trust me. Everything I do is for you and Teddy.

I stared at the letters, trying to ascribe every meaning possible to them in the hopes I’d land on the right one. Was this about Sophia? About how he was with her to solidify his future as Sovereign? I shook my head. If he’d only spoken to me instead of running off with her, I could have told him about Cal’s proposition, about how I already had the key to winning.

The words blurred again as my eyes began to close of their own accord. Alcohol and fatigue warred inside me, but I would sleep no matter which was victorious. I stuffed the piece of paper into my nightstand and crawled back into bed, the knife forgotten. Trusting Sin was all I could do. I had no choice. I’d already decided to trust him the moment I left my father’s house. This was just more of the same self-inflicted torment.

The minutes ticked by, and I dozed off. I woke as the bed shifted. Cool air wafted over me as Lucius climbed into beside me. He pulled the blanket back up and ran his forearm under my neck, pulling me to him.

“You’re not wearing a shirt.” I rested my head on his shoulder and threw my arm across his stomach anyway. I was too tired to care about what he’d done to alleviate his blue balls, or worry about the fact he was shirtless. Maybe just having a warm body next to me could keep the nightmares at bay.