Special Needs (30 page)

“Is it about barfing all over me?” Liam grinned.

Ryan just shook his head. “It’s how you say about being alpha male and... for me... sometimes I don’t really mind my disability, because I don’t have to live up to people’s expectations for being a ‘man’ anymore.”

Liam drew in a sharp breath. “What do you mean?”

“It’s like...” Ryan sighed. “I’m not the most masculine of guys anyway and if I’m in a wheelchair, no one really expects me to be this posterboy for what it means to be a man. Be straight, be big, drive a car, be super assertive and confident.”

Liam could understand that. There had always been expectations, he just chose not to care. Ryan was different. “Okay,” he said in a way that urged Ryan to elaborate on it.

“So in a way, I can be more free to be myself. People don’t look down on me for being weak in this way, or another.”

“Is that your way of saying you’re a bottom?” Liam wondered if it wasn’t a bit too forward, but Ryan just let out a chuckle of amusement.

“That’s not the only thing I meant, but it sure as hell slides into that category. It’s another way in which I gave up control and don’t really mind it anymore.”

“So...” Liam bit his lip, his chest getting hotter. “Are you submissive?” It was pretty obvious since the day Liam learned that Ryan spanked himself, but he still wanted to pull out the answer, hear it out loud.

Ryan quickly nodded, but his face was turning red. “Very much. I’m not into pain though. I like... force.” He swallowed and started drinking the coffee which must have gotten cool by now.

“Okay.” Liam tried not to stare, but it was hard now that his suspicions about Ryan’s sexuality were confirmed.

“Sometimes, people can be a bit queasy about it. You know, ‘I don’t wanna hurt a cripple’ and all that. These nice guy Stuart types hit on me and it just... doesn’t work.”

“You want to take it like a man.” Liam almost covered his mouth when he blurted that out, but managed to stop the impulse. No wonder, Ryan wanted to be treated like any normal person. It wasn’t like he would hurt more than any other guy if someone spanked him for lack of better example.

“Yeah, I guess so. I’m not made of porcelain just because I have braces on my legs. I want a guy who won’t have an issue with being rough.” A self-satisfied smile appeared on Ryan’s lips, and Liam had to cross his legs to make his raging hard on more bearable. At least Ryan wouldn’t notice anything from his position on the other side of the table

“Does the website do anything for you?” He changed the topic, hoping the new one would make him go soft.

Ryan shrugged. “Kinda. It’s like... I get it that those people have a fetish, and I’m not embarrassed to provide them with the content they want, as long as it’s a fantasy. As long as no one is actually being hurt by it. I don’t even mind going into filthy chats about it. It doesn’t hurt anyone that they fantasize about it. I’m open minded. Like, I even have this fantasy, that my caretaker, yep, that would be you, goes off into a shop or something and a robber drags me off in the wheelchair to an alleyway.” He was speaking with growing excitement as he leaned towards Liam. “And obviously, I can’t escape, cause I’m in a wheelchair. That kinda stuff turns me on, so you know... that’s horrible, isn’t it?” Ryan covered his face with his hands.

“It’s hot.” Liam was now ogling him with eyes wider than ever. Despite his earlier hopes, the conversation didn’t do anything to help his excitement falter. He wished he could take Ryan behind this cafe and make his dream come true. He would stick it in Ryan’s pretty mouth and then squeeze the come on his face. Instead of letting him wipe it off, he would spread it all over like lotion and take Ryan somewhere where no one but them knew there was jizz all over his cheeks.

“You think?” Ryan’s voice jerked him back to reality and he saw him peep through his fingers. “It’s just... It feels kinda wrong, ‘cause it would obviously be horrible to abuse someone disabled. Like fucking Stuart. But I can’t help it if the concept turns me on. And that’s a bit how I see the website. When a guy says that he’d, I dunno, spread my legs, ‘cause I can’t move them, hold me down and fuck me, I see it as a fantasy, and I don’t mind. It’s creeps like Stuart who piss me off.”

Liam scratched his head, wondering what to make of it, when their breakfast arrived. He took a wholesome, hot sandwich and the smell alone made his mouth water. “But it’s not abuse if you want it.”

“Yeah, I guess so. You know what else pissed me off so much?” Ryan started nibbling on his pancake. “That he was trying to mind fuck with me. I see it now. He said he’d be exclusive with me, because I wouldn’t be able to get anyone else anyway. Fucker. Like I don’t have enough insecurities on my own.”

Liam felt his shoulders tense, like in those moments when he got in fights. “That’s so not true. What a fucking shitface!”

“I know! Like that werewolf biker guy from the club. He was handsome and he wanted me. I
choose
not to fuck around. I hope Stu rots in jail.” Ryan was getting angrier with every bite of the pancake.

Liam hoped Ryan wouldn’t choke, because then, Liam would have to rescue him and there would just be no way for Ryan not to notice his woodie. “Damn right! He should be shipped to fucking Siberia for what he tried to do.”

“But my prince in shining armor came to the rescue and broke his fucking face.” Ryan smiled sweetly.

“Did I?” Liam lit up, leaning forward over his plate. “I can’t remember.” It warmed his heart that Ryan saw him that way.

“Yeah, I was upside down, with my poor, molested ass in the air, and you freaking smashed him.” Ryan poured more maple syrup over his food with an ever widening grin.

“I would suck as a caretaker if I couldn’t save you,” Liam said, suddenly serious.

“Don’t worry Liam.” Ryan put his slim fingers over his palm. “You already suck at it.” He burst out with laughter.

Chapter 15

“Oh. My. God. Liam. It’s gonna be
so
cool at the concert!” Ryan beamed at his caretaker from his wheelchair. “It’s too bad we won’t be able to go into the crowd, but there’s usually special places for wheelchair users.”

He watched Liam pack yet another load of laundry into the washing machine. The basement utility room had bare walls and concrete floors, which left no question that it was a work-only area that wasn’t supposed to look fun. Unless you were into that sort of thing.

Liam smiled at him from above his arm, as he packed a batch of boxer shorts into the machine. “The first concert’s always most exciting.”

Ryan folded another Halloween party flyer and put it on an old, broken wash machine, which at the moment doubled as his desk. “I bet there’s gonna be so many cool people there!”

“Did you call the venue to ask about flyer exchange?” Liam put in a pouch of detergent with the laundry and closed the washing machine.

“Great idea!” Ryan smiled at him, folding away in express time. There were still hundreds of flyers to go. He could have ordered folding but it was cheaper this way. “I’ll do that when we finish with the laundry... Liam! Stop looking at my underpants like that.” He poked him with a nearby broom, when he noticed that Liam was holding a pair of his briefs that had: ‘Doggy Style’ and a paw print on their backside.

The other man stumbled, before putting the garment into the fresh laundered basket. “I can’t help it.” He scowled, but there was a trace of humor in his bright eyes.

“What? Mocking my underpants?” Ryan raised his eyebrows.

“No, the print is just kinda hot. For undies.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re a fan of anal.” Ryan shook his head and poked him with the broom again. “We don’t have all day you know,” he said, but didn’t really mean it. He could be doing accounting or folding the flyers upstairs, but sitting around with Liam was a much better prospect.

“Do we have any bookings for today?” Liam changed the subject to something far less pleasant and the smile on Ryan’s face faltered.

“Uhm...” He paused. “No, the place is empty today. But you know, it’s a weekday,” he mumbled and looked away. He tried to keep a positive attitude, but his bank statements confronted him with the ugly truth each time. “So I kinda thought, since there’s no one here, we could have some different kind of fun today?” He heard a loud clatter as Liam struggled not to let the detergent drop and trapped it against the wall with his hip.

“Shit.” Liam took a deep breath and put the plastic container back on the shelf. He looked at the door.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Liam switched the program on and gave him a somewhat tight smile. “What do you have in mind?”

Ryan swallowed. “So, since you know about the site, maybe you could help me film something today? It could drive views. Something different.”

“Different?” Liam’s eyes narrowed and he straightened his back, looking even taller than before.

Ryan flinched at the edge in his voice and played with a strand of blue hair. “Yeah. I’m still fishing for ideas, but some people wrote that they would like to see me with a caretaker. I could blur your face if you agreed.”

Liam sighed, slouching his back and pushed his body away from the machine. “Ryan...” Judging from his voice, he was far from pleased.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re gonna show off your moral fiber now.” Ryan rolled his eyes and continued with the folding.

“You already know what my moral fiber thinks about this.” Liam walked towards him with tightly drawn eyebrows. “I’m your caretaker and friend, not an accessory for porn.”

“I never said that. Sorry.” Ryan could feel himself going red. When put like that, it really did sound horrible.

Liam snorted, folding his arms and shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “You need help with folding?”

“No, why? I was just thinking, you obviously don’t wanna be in it, but would you film me, or is that not on as well?” Ryan slowly looked up at him.

Liam shifted again, his mouth squeezing into a thin line. “I’d rather not.”

“Okay, okay! So this party...” Ryan wanted to change the topic as fast as possible. “This really needs to become
the
alternative place to be, so if you think of anything, let me know.” He was embarrassed that Liam must have thought so little of his website endeavors.

“But you’ve already printed the flyers.” Liam sighed, moving to sit on a wooden box next to Ryan.

“Yeah, but that’s not enough. We got three weeks to go, I’ll be updating stuff about the party all over social media, the hotel website, blah, making a newsletter, there’s so much to do and some of it is gonna cost even more money.” The fact that the marketing was a constant struggle, with so little success, was taking its toll on him. He put so much money into this hotel and he would hate to even think that it could had been a waste. He could lose everything.

“The money.” Liam took the band off his hair and combed the blond strands with his fingers.

“Hm? What about it?”

“You sound worried.”

Ryan sighed, but didn't take his eyes off his hands, careful to fold the leaflets as nicely as he could. “You know... it’s tight. Whenever a bit more flows in, something pops up and breaks the bank.”

Liam shook his head slowly, and moved his hand to Ryan's forearm, squeezing it gently. Ryan swallowed, already recognizing the hesitation in the way Liam moved his thumb over his skin. “There are hardly any guests.”

“I know. But I can’t quit now. I don’t wanna be a failure. It’s just so hard sometimes when you do something for so long, and it’s still not getting there.” The words just spilled out like a burst bean bag. “I know this could work.”

“Is The Lust Pit in one of those hotel databases where people book?” Liam flexed his arms, revealed by a sleeveless shirt with the christian symbol of a fish and ‘I like mine with french fries’ written underneath. The handsome, rude bastard. His mere presence made Ryan feel better.

“Yeah, yeah... I’ll have to look into new opportunities, maybe try connecting with some websites and stores with coupons, or discounts... it’s just. It’s not there yet.” Ryan rubbed his forehead.

“Sure, but if you’re not hitting profit margin, it has to be there now.”

Ryan groaned. “Thanks, Captain Obvious!” Was it really necessary to rub it in?

“You tell me, Ryan. How long has it been since you opened?”

“About two years. What do you want to say, huh? That it’s a flop? Thank you very much.” He was getting angrier with every passing moment.

“You shouldn’t ‘Captain Obvious' me then.” Liam got up and picked up the dry laundry, ready to go upstairs.

Ryan wheeled out into the corridor first, unwilling to look Liam in the eyes, or even at his ass. The conversation made him feel like a loser, and he hated that this was what Liam thought of him. “I’m going upstairs!” he announced down the corridor and headed for the elevator. He wanted to sulk on his own.

Liam yelled back from the maintenance room as if nothing happened. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks!” He wheeled into the lift and when the door closed, he muttered to himself: “I’ll be my own ‘porn accessory’.”