Special Needs (32 page)

Liam slowly pushed Ryan’s wheelchair through the thickening crowd in the venue. It looked like all the tickets had been sold out. Ryan got a new haircut for the occasion and volumed up his hair with loads of foam and spray. Its color was somewhere between aqua and electric blue. He fidgeted in his chair, trying to see something, while at the same time struggling to protect his hair from the people shuffling around them. The last few days have been extremely busy, with Fay and Liam distributing leaflets and posters all over the area, and Ryan getting into a social media frenzy. They deserved a night off. Ryan even got a new stud in his ear for the occasion, a tiny tragus piercing with a blue spike.

“I don’t think I’ve been in a place this crowded since high school!” Ryan yelled, turning his head back with a blissful grin.

“Yeah?” Liam smiled and slid his gaze down Ryan’s nape, seductively uncovered by his tank top. He bowed to speak into his ear and had to close his eyes when the warm smell of Ryan’s body filled his nostrils. “Wanna get a drink?”

The way Ryan looked at him, with all that cheerfulness and awe in his eyes, made Liam’s heart melt. “Yep, but I’m not getting smashed like last time. I wanna remember this night.”

Liam leaned forward, suddenly intent on seizing the opportunity to press their lips together, but hesitated only an inch or two away from Ryan’s mouth. It was too soon. He had to get Ryan in the mood first.

Liam's breath caught in his throat when Ryan's pupils suddenly expanded, but it only took a moment for him to smile and lower his eyes. “And you can’t even drink, unless you wanna pay for the ride home.”

“We could sleep in the car.” Liam took in the scent of Ryan’s neck, closing his eyes for a second. God, he wanted him so bad.

“Oh yeah? You’d have to sleep on top of me if we were to fit in there.” He showed Liam his pierced tongue.

“Something tells me you wouldn’t mind,” said Liam, moving Ryan's chair to one of the walls so that they wouldn’t block the way.

“No, not really. You’d be drunk, so I could use you all I want.” He laughed, shielding his hair from a passerby.

“I’d be sucked dry by a pretty boy. That would make me wonder about my sexuality.” It rolled off Liam’s tongue before he could think and he gave himself a mental slap. That was not what he intended.

Ryan bowed his head, biting back a smile. “You could always say you don’t remember a thing.”

“I think I would like to remember that.” He’d probably recall it on his deathbed.

Ryan looked back at him. “Yeah, it's not everyday that you get a blowob from your boss, right?” He chuckled, but his shoulders tensed.

Liam swallowed hard, annoyed by how sweaty his palms felt. “Most people don’t take their bosses out for dates.”

“Don’t worry Liam, I won’t hold it against you. It’s your job to take me places. And you can make up for it by holding my hair if I puke.” Ryan was charming as always, but his gaze followed a hunky tattooed man with snake pupil lenses.

Liam cleared his throat. “You like him?”

“Uhm... yeah, he’s hot. I’d watch a porn movie with him anytime.”

“And are you, you know...” Liam licked his lips, still talking into Ryan’s ear. It was hard to resist the urge to flicker it with his tongue. “Ready?”

“To watch a porno?” Ryan pouted. “Anytime.”

“No, open to a new relationship, after Stuart?” Liam gently squeezed Ryan’s arm.

“No, no, no! Not gonna happen. I am not dipping my toes into that again.” Ryan looked down at Liam's hand. “Why are you so eager to pimp me out again? I don’t wanna.”

And just like that, Liam’s resolve to come out to his gay boss wavered. He had his chance before Stuart and he blew it big time. “I’m sorry.”

“Me and my hand are getting on well enough.” Ryan tried to laugh it off.

“What do you wanna drink?” Liam was eager to change the subject.

“Something blue.” Ryan looked back at him with a smile. It was good that they moved to the wall, as the club was getting more and more packed with every minute.

“Sweet? Sour? I’ll get you something.” Liam was pushing him towards the bar.

“Sour like my life.” Ryan shrugged, but it was hard to ignore the annoyed voices from time to time, as the wheels ran over more than one foot. He kept looking around, and Liam could imagine it had to be stressful for him to be so small between all those people.

Liam huffed. It wasn’t like they could warn everybody with so much noise he could hardly hear Ryan, even when he bowed down to him. “Don’t mind them, Ryan.”

“Oh come on! Seriously,” hissed yet another guy, giving them the evil eye as he tried to push away, so they could get through.

“Maybe just leave me by the wall.” Ryan was fidgeting and picking at his spike-studded bracelet. Liam, however, would have none of that.

“Do you have a problem?” He looked the guy straight in the eye, his chest heaving in anger. How could people be such pricks?

“I’m not saying he shouldn’t be here, just don’t drag him around!” The man frowned, talking as if Ryan wasn’t there.

“Oh, so he should enter via the back entrance so that you don’t have to worry about your precious shoes?” Liam snarled, baring his teeth and moving towards the guy.

“Whoa! Liam, ignore him, it doesn’t matter,” Ryan said and quickly grabbed his hand. Liam felt his stomach flutter, and he squeezed Ryan’s fingers.

“I’m just saying maybe there’s some special seats for him, yeah?” The man tensed up, ready to confront him.

“Yeah, there are! By the stage, you prick!” Liam shoved the guy back and straightened to look even taller.

“Ah, just piss off, asshole.” The man growled and backed off, disappearing in the crowd. Liam grumbled again before turning back to look at Ryan, who was still holding his hand. Suddenly, he didn’t know what to say, but Ryan was quick to slide his fingers out of Liam’s grip.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Liam gave him a weak smile. “What a jerk.” He quickly went behind Ryan’s back to push him somewhere safe. The bar area wasn’t exactly the best option. He did feel Ryan had every right to be there, but it was clear that it made him feel uneasy. All Liam could do was to accept that. It was hard to hear each other and even harder to breathe at times, because of all the people pushing from every side.

“It is crowded. I’ll just wait somewhere and you get the drinks okay?”

Liam sighed, but eventually gave him a curt nod and strolled to the bar. It didn’t take him long to return with a blue cocktail for Ryan and a coke he got for himself. It took only those ten minutes of leaving him on his own, to find him chatting to a young couple. Liam noticed he was passing them a business card with a smile.

It was funny how with all the makeup, piercings, the black outfit, and studded leg braces, he still looked cute. Liam was melting.

“Your drink.” He handed Ryan the glass and let his hand linger over his arm. ”Are we going towards the stage, or do you want to stay?”

“I wanna be closer to the stage,” Ryan said, after saying goodbye to the couple.

“Who was that?”

“Just random. We started chatting and I gave them a hotel card. See Liam, I’m networking.” Ryan kept turning his head to look back at him as he sipped his drink through a straw.

“Good thinking.” Liam maneuvered him carefully towards the stage, where the staff was preparing for the concert. At least this part of the club wasn’t packed like a colony of ants. “You like it?”

“Delicious,” was the simple answer, because Ryan was focused on the bouncers and staff, who carried speakers and checked the cables. It made Liam proud to be able to give him his first live show experience.

“But you mean the cocktail, right?” He smiled, resisting the urge to press a kiss to the slim nape.

Ryan finally turned his head to him. “Huh? What else would I mean?”

“Ah, nothing.” Liam snorted and pushed him next to a group of dancing people and headed straight to the stairs at the side of the stage.

“Hey! Where are we going?” Ryan blinked, turning his body in the seat.

“Didn’t you hear? You have the best place.” Liam grinned, pleased that he had made the extra effort to discuss the matter with the club manager. They knew each other briefly back from when Liam was working as a bartender, but were on good terms, so when he told her Ryan’s story, she was eager to help Liam with his plan.

“Huh? I don’t get it. I thought the disabled space was by the other side of the stage.” Ryan looked back, as he finished his drink in one long sip.

Liam’s chest swelled with pride. “Usually, yes, but I want you to see something. SFU agreed for us to be up there,” he said and stopped by the stairs. Ryan blinked at him, and his eyes became wide as saucers.

“What the hell, Liam! And you didn’t tell me? Oh my God! Is this fucking early Christmas or something!?” He would probably jump up and down if he could. His unabashed enthusiasm was enough to compensate for all the troubles Liam had to overcome to get them in.

“No, I just enjoy making you happy.” He drew in a sharp breath, searching Ryan’s face.

“Liam...” His voice became softer. “I never had any caretaker do a thing like that for me. You’re really amazing.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Liam’s mouth but words failed him, so he only nodded. It felt good to be so appreciated, but he wanted so much more. And he wanted it with more intensity with every day he spent in Ryan’s company.

Happy with the distraction of having to ask for permission to carry Ryan up, he discussed everything with a member of staff, who then went to see the manager to make sure it was okay for them come. A good ten minutes passed until he and Ryan were hidden from public view, at the side of the large stage. .

They were told to stay by a back wall, so that they wouldn’t get in the way, as the place was bursting with staff. With not much time left till the start of the show, the back rooms were busy and loud, as people carried various pieces of equipment and ran around. The club manager Liam talked to about Ryan’s situation a week earlier, smiled at them briefly, but then disappeared into the corridor, talking to someone through a headset. Liam sighed and reached out to brush some stray hair from Ryan’s forehead. He wondered if Kyle even remembered him. If he did, maybe Ryan would get the chance to speak to his favorite rockstar.

Only then did it occur to him that the way he touched Ryan might be too intimate, but Ryan didn’t flinch away from the touch and instead, gave him a bright smile that made his eyes twinkle. It wasn't lust that he saw, but something deeper that he couldn’t quite grasp. He swallowed and brushed his fingers over Ryan’s forehead, his chest tightening all of a sudden. What would Ryan do if he kissed him now? Would he smile or tense up at the memory of Stuart?

He didn't get to check though, as suddenly, Ryan took a sharp breath, tensing up as if he was about to get to his feet.

“Liam, is that Kyle?” he whispered, curling his fingers around Liam's wrist. Liam followed Ryan's gaze to the lanky figure dressed in a tattered, yet simple black outfit with numerous straps. A black mohawk stood proudly above the angular face as Kyle spoke to one of the crew.

“Yep, that’s him.” Liam let out a hiss, suddenly flooded by nostalgia. It's been five years since he moved out of L.A., and nothing has changed in his life.

“I can’t believe it! This is so amazing! He’s so... thin.” Ryan laughed, not taking his eyes off Kyle for a second.

“You have no idea,” muttered Liam, letting Ryan enjoy his fanboy moment. The boy was watching Kyle talk to the venue's manager. He casually pushed his hips forward, playing with an unlit cigarette in his slim fingers. Liam felt his face flush when the woman gestured toward them with her head. Kyle’s gaze lingered on him for a moment too long.

“He looked our way,” Ryan stated the obvious, digging his warm fingers into Liam’s forearm.

“He seems like a nice guy.” Liam emptied his glass and put it on the floor by the wall, so that no one would trip over it. The supporting band was already preparing to play, but his eyes were drawn back to Kyle's slim silhouette. The ripped fabric of the man's sleeves revealed tattoos of bones, making him look even skinnier with the skeleton he wore on his skin.

Ryan wasn’t listening to Liam. “Look at those tats! They look so good in real life.”

Kyle said one more thing to the manager and lit a cigarette, making his way towards them. Liam bit his lip, watching his angular hips sway.

“He’s coming here, Liam.” Ryan gasped, and the grip on Liam’s wrist tightened.

Liam looked straight into the narrow, kohl-rimmed eyes. Kyle was strikingly handsome in real life, despite being gangly and just scruffy enough to look like a rockstar.

“Hi guys,” Kyle said as he approached them. “You going to stay here for the show, I hear. You’ll have a great view. Good that they let you in, bureaucracy with these gigs can be a bitch.” He inhaled a deep breath of smoke and looked into Liam’s eyes, as if he expected to find something he's lost.

“Uhm... I... yeah...” Ryan was at loss of words, flushed like some fucking medieval maiden on her wedding night.

When Liam looked at Kyle again, he noticed that those dark eyes widened in recognition. He shed his worries right away and broke into a wide grin, reaching his hand out. “Long time no see.”