Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks) (17 page)

He kissed me again intensely,
as he held my face between his hands. I could feel the bulge in his jeans
growing again. How big would it get? I had no clue. I spread my legs so his
bulge would touch me where I needed it most. I needed to be touched so badly. I
breathed hard into his mouth, as his tongue entered into my mouth. He was such a
great kisser. Even better than Jim, who I thought could never be beat.

“Taylor.” He said in a
breathy whisper. “Oh, Taylor.” His voice was shaky and growing more urgent. He
pulled his face away from mine. He gasped for air, then he turned his head away
from me as he panted several times. He closed his eyes, then pressed his
forehead against mine. He was really still after that. I felt him relax on top
of me.

Did he just come? I wasn’t
sure, and I wasn’t going to ask. His breathing returned to a normal rate, as
did mine. I was too scared to even speak to him. Sandy told me that this
happened to her a few times. She counted it as some kind of a triumph somehow.
I wasn’t so sure I liked it. I wanted sex so badly only a minute ago, and now I
didn’t want it any longer. I was so embarrassed that I acted like that, like a
whore.

I waited for Spencer to move
off of me. Instead, he kissed me. “I love you.”

I melted at the sound of
those words. I returned his kiss with so much enthusiasm. I’d never heard those
words before and they caused me to rethink my entire being. I didn’t think I
could recite my name right now. “I love you.” I said the words to him. They
felt so good coming out of my mouth. I wanted to say them again and again at
the top of my lungs.

Just then we heard the garage
door open, and a car pull inside. Spencer jumped up and sat on his bed. Then he
decided it would look more convincing that we weren’t just almost having sex,
if he were to stand up and look in the mirror. When he caught a glimpse of
himself, he was shocked. I think he’d forgotten that he’d taken the bandage
off. I stood next to him and started rubbing his arm.

“It’s still swollen.” I said
as I looked at his face closely. “Can I touch it?”

He nodded.

Janel stepped into his room
about that time. “We’re home…Oh you took off the bandage.”

Todd came in about that time.
“Oh, let’s see.”

I stepped back so they could
talk. I caught Spencer looking at me in the mirror. He wasn’t looking at his
face any longer.

“Hey. It’s not bad. Not bad
at all, considering it’s still fresh.” Todd tried to reassure him.

“It looks good. It really
does. I didn’t expect it to look this good so soon, Spencer.” Janel told him.

“Hey! Your birthmark doesn’t
show up any more. Did it get scraped off?” I asked him as I stared into his
eyes through the mirror.

He looked in the mirror then
at his own face. “I guess it could have. I still see some purple. It looks like
part of it is gone. Maybe I’ll look better when this is healed.”

I smiled at him. It was good
to hear him excited about his face. “That’s not possible. You were perfect
before.”

Oh god. Did I just say that
out loud? I sounded so mushy, and I’d said it in front of Todd and Janel. They
were going to guess that we were having sex, even though we weren’t yet. Oh
god. Was I about to have sex? Was I ready to have sex? Yes, I was ready to have
sex.

Todd and Janel gave each
other a look. I could tell what they were thinking just by the look. They’d
never leave us alone in their house again. That’s what the look said. Boy did I
just screw up.

I was suddenly anxious to
leave. I said goodbye to Spencer telling him that I needed to run help my dad
with the calves. I wasn’t sure if he bought it or not. Daddy would have fed the
calves by now by himself or conned one of my sisters into it.

Taylor left in a hurry. I was
sure it had nothing to do with my face. For the first time in my life, I had a
girl who looked at me instead of my face. Maybe she was embarrassed about what
happened on my bed. I was embarrassed about what happened on my bed. Besides
coming too soon, I told her that I loved her. She’d said that she loved me too.
I wasn’t sure if it was just a reflex reaction though.

I stood in front of the
mirror with my aunt and uncle looking at my face. It looked terrible. But as
terrible as it looked, my main concern was Taylor. She’d kissed me the other day
when I was totally bandaged. And, today she’d practically had sex with me, even
though my face looked like this. I was so in love with that girl. But what kind
of guy falls in love with his first girlfriend? Maybe guys who were seventeen
and never kissed a girl before. The other day I was kissing my first girl, and
today I was almost having sex with my first girl.

Not just any girl. Taylor.
The most perfect girl to ever walk this earth. I’d seen her last year on my
first day of school. She was nervous, trying out for the cheerleading squad.
She was doing flips in the air. She was so tiny, and so agile. She was spunky
too. I’ll never forget how my chest hurt when I saw her kiss Jose. Jose! The
jerk who was flirting with another girl not an hour before. And, he was
grabbing that girl’s ass. I wanted to tell the prettiest girl that I’d ever
seen about her cheating boyfriend, but I couldn’t break her heart like that.

Janel patted me on the back
and walked out. She was my favorite aunt before my parents died. I’d always
loved spending a month in the summer with her and my uncle Todd. They were
always so much fun. My uncle Todd patted me on the back too. Something was up.
Did they know? How could they know?

Todd sat on the bed behind
me. Yes, something was up.

I turned toward him. “What’s
up, Todd? Am I in trouble for something?” I asked him.

“No. Not trouble. But I do
need to talk to you.” he said. His tone was very matter of fact.

And, Janel had left the room,
so it was something for guys only. I sat on the bed next to him. I waited.

“You’ve been like a son to me
since you came to live with us. I’ve thought of you like a son anyway.” He
stopped.

He always took too long to
get to the point. He was killing me. “What did I do?” I asked him.

“Taylor is your first
girlfriend. Well, I assume she’s your girlfriend. She’s been coming over a lot,
and you two have been spending a lot of time together.”

“She’s my girlfriend.” I said,
simply to speed up the process. Was this going to be another sex talk?

“You’re probably thinking
about sex right about now with her. I can’t tell you what to do concerning sex,
but …” he stopped again.

This was too hard for him. I
had to step in. “Todd. I won’t have sex in your house. I have too much respect
for you and Aunt Janel. You two took me in when I needed a home. I won’t forget
that. I would never disrespect you by sneaking around like that.”

“You were always so mature
for your age. But that’s not what I was going to say. I wanted to know if you
needed any advice. And, I also wanted to remind you that birth control is first
and foremost. Girls’ daddies bring shotguns to weddings around here.”

“What?” I asked him. Was he
losing it?

“Don’t get her pregnant.” He
spelled it out for me. “Condoms,
and
pull out.”

“Got it.” I assured him. I
knew he didn’t enjoy talking about sex with me, but he’d never been quite this
apprehensive about it before. Maybe he thought we were already having sex.
“We’re not having sex.”

“Oh. Thank God!” he let out a
sigh of relief with that.

“But it’s coming soon.” I
added.

I watched his face tighten
again. “So, you’ve talked about sex?” he asked.

“Yes we’ve talked.”

“So, you really like this
girl? You’re not just having sex with her to be having sex with someone? Just
because a girl has sex with you doesn’t mean that she loves you. She’s probably
had sex a few times already. I know Zane thinks she hasn’t, but I’m not so
sure.”

“I really like this girl.
And, she’s a virgin. She hasn’t had sex with anyone yet.”

His eyes shot open wide with
shock. Did he think she was a slut? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want him thinking
that.

“Are you ready for that?” he
asked me.

“I’m ready.” I assured him.

“She’s a virgin.” He stated.

“So am I.” I reminded him. Had
he forgotten already?

“Sex with a virgin is a whole
different story, Spencer.” he explained.

I didn’t get it. I mean, I
thought I knew the mechanics of it. Wasn’t it the same with any girl? I gave
him a look. I didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“Let me see if I can explain
without getting too graphic. A virgin isn’t exactly ready to have sex in the
physical sense…” he stopped again.

I looked at him. What the
heck was he talking about?

“The first time a girl has
sex, it hurts her, Spencer.” he said as if he were letting the cat out of the
bag.

“I don’t want to hurt her,
Uncle Todd.”

“Your only other choice is
let someone else pop her…” Todd said quickly then stopped as if he’d said it
without thinking it through, then embarrassed himself.

Someone else? No way in hell!
I’d heard that term before. Guys bragged in the locker room about popping
cherries. I never completely understood the term and didn’t realize it was only
a term for virgins until now. “What’s a cherry? And, how can I not hurt her?” I
almost begged my uncle for advice.

“It’s going to hurt her. That
can’t be helped. When you go in, inside her, you’ll feel something. It’ll stop
you from going all the way in. Tell her to take a deep breath, and when she
lets it out, go in hard and deep. All at once is way better, trust me. Then
wait on her to stop crying or screaming before you start moving again.”

“Screaming?” I asked him.
Okay, now I was terrified of sex. Thank God we didn’t actually have sex
tonight. I would have died if I would have hurt her tonight.

“It hurts, and take a towel.
It’s bloody.”

My eyes opened wide. Holy
shit! Blood? Damn! Was I ready for this? Somehow he’d made sex sound like not
such a good deal after all. I thought it was going to be all fun and beautiful,
like it was tonight. I wasn’t sure I could handle this. Blood and pain? “I’m
really glad we had this talk, Uncle Todd.” I said sarcastically.

“It’s something I wish my
father would have told me before I had sex with a virgin the first time. It scared
me to death.”

“Thanks, Uncle Todd. I really
do appreciate you telling me all of this.” I changed my tone.

“Can I throw in a couple more
things? Since I’ve got you here and already thoroughly embarrassed myself.” He asked,
then continued. “About condoms. Buy the right size. Not too tight, and not too
loose. And if I had it to do over again, I’d practice putting one on before I
did it in front of a girl. I looked like an idiot with it shooting across the
room three times, and chasing it down, before I got it on. It was my only one.
So, take several, just in case.”

I laughed at him. It probably
wasn’t too nice of me, considering he was sharing a pretty embarrassing
personal moment with me.

He laughed too. “And, good
luck. She seems like a great girl.”

“She really is. I don’t know
why she’s even interested in me, but I’m really glad that she is.” I confided
in him.

“You’re a great guy. That’s
why.” Todd tried to build me up.

I needed that sometimes. I’ve
always been shy and not too confident because of my face. Not too many girls
overlooked my face. There have been a few over the years to become friends, but
Taylor was the first one to actually want to have a relationship with me. That
day was the happiest day of my life, until the other day. No wait, until today.