Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks) (19 page)

Jose shook his head, then
reached out for my arm. He rubbed my upper arm. “I wish I would have waited on
you.”

“You seem really happy now
with Shelly.” I said to him.

He nodded, then walked away
from me. What was that about? He did recently lose a brother. I knew guys got a
little weird when they were grieving. Maybe that was it.

Spencer and I spent every
waking moment together. I craved his company constantly. He wanted to be with
me. We met between every class and he walked me to my next one. He would always
kiss me really good before letting me go. We got to be known as the couple that
kissed constantly. After the home games on Friday nights, instead of standing
around talking, we sat in my car making out. We never advanced past making out.
Spencer was the ultimate gentleman.

He borrowed his uncle’s car
and took me out on a few real dates. That was so nice. We went out to eat at a
really nice restaurant in Phoenix once. It ended with about an hour of making
out in my driveway. My mom started blinking the front porch lights off and on
to tell me to come in. I kissed him one last time, then went inside the house.

“Taylor!” My mom said. “Good
girls don’t sit in the car and kiss boys.”

She was disappointed in me. The
way she said the word “kiss” was like it was a dirty word. Too dirty for a PG
rating at the movies. She’d be really disappointed if she knew what I actually
wanted to do with Spencer. I didn’t dare say a word about that. “We were just
talking, Mom.” I lied to her. Of course I knew she’d probably looked outside to
see us totally entangled in each other.

“Uh huh.” she said with a
tone that told me she knew I was lying to her.

The next Saturday night, Spencer
took me to the drive-in movies. I don’t even know what was playing; we made out
the entire time. I loved being close to him, touching him. I loved the feel of
his hard chest. I don’t know why it made my stomach do funny things when I
rubbed his stomach, or his biceps. I loved that feeling in my stomach. I knew I
wanted more, but I didn’t want to tell him that I wanted more. That would be
way too forward of me.

Spencer’s face was looking
better the more it healed. He still couldn’t play football, but he attended the
games with his aunt and uncle. We met up after the games to go to the parties.
The parties barely missed a beat after Fred’s death. Jose was even coming to
them again. He took Fred’s death hard, but he was pushing through it. I did
notice that he and Shelly were fighting in public more than usual. I knew he
was upset. I still knew him very well, even though we hadn’t talked. We were
friends once upon a time before we got together. I felt badly for him.

Once at Senior Pole, we were
all hanging out and talking after practice. Spencer and I were arm in arm as
always. Zane and Mary were close. Dwayne and Sandy were standing together. I
think they were secretly seeing each other. I wasn’t sure why it was a secret
though. Usually Sandy told me everything. Maybe I’ve been too wrapped up in Spencer
lately. That happened when I got a new boyfriend or she got a new boyfriend. I
didn’t get to spend as much time with Sandy as I used to. Sally and Grace were
standing with us, laughing and talking.

Jose and Shelly were standing
there, talking to each other not to the group, engaged in their own private
conversation. Suddenly, she got upset and threw her hands up in the air.
“Forget it then.” She said with anger in her voice.

“Fine with me.” Jose retaliated,
then walked off without Shelly.

Shelly walked off the
opposite way.

Everyone stopped talking and
watched the whole exchange, then we all looked at each other questioning each
other. Everyone shrugged their shoulders, then looked at me for answers.

“I don’t know.” I said
defensively. I didn’t know why they were looking at me. I hadn’t talked to him
for over a week.

I saw Spencer give a slight
look of jealousy when I looked his way. I rubbed his back, trying to tell him
that he didn’t have a reason to be jealous.

On the drive home, Spencer
asked me if I knew what was wrong with Jose. I told him that I didn’t know, but
I guessed that it had to do with his brother. Maybe he and Shelly were about to
break up. I told him about our conversation a few weeks ago. He was a little
upset with me that I didn’t tell him about it earlier. It kind of looked like I
was hiding things from him, but I really wasn’t.

At his house, Spencer stepped
out of my car. He’d started driving it lately for some reason. I think he felt
like he was whipped when I drove all the time. Maybe he just liked my car. I
stepped around to the front of the car as always. He usually stopped to kiss me
there, or invited me in for a minute. Today he just passed me by and went into his
house. He closed the door behind himself without a word to me. There was
something definitely wrong today. I had a strong feeling that it had to do with
Jose.

I texted Spencer. “What’s up?
Come back out.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow. I need
to cool off tonight.” he texted me back.

I texted him back. “Fine!” I
couldn’t even convey how upset I was in a message. I wanted to send him the
flip off icon, but I couldn’t find it quick enough. I wanted to call him and
yell at him. I didn’t do anything wrong. Not really anyway. Why was he acting
this way?

When I pulled my car in our
driveway at the house, Jose was waiting on me, leaning up against his truck. Damn,
he looked good. He was wearing a white tank top and jeans. I’d always told him
that was my favorite outfit. It showed off his abundance of muscles. Being
Mexican, he was really dark with dark hair. I stepped out of my car and walked
up to him. I didn’t know why he was at my house. He hadn’t been to my house
since we’d broken up.

“I need to talk to you.” He
said to me, his voice was full of sadness.

“Okay.” I said to him, then walked
to the back of his truck following him.

He let down the tailgate so
we could sit on it and talk, like we used to when we dated. We both sat down on
the tailgate. I looked over at him, worried about what he would say next.

“Shelly and I broke up.” He
said softly.

“I’m sorry.” I told him. I
rubbed his arm trying to console him.

“I made a big mistake ending
things with you, Taylor.” He looked in my eyes when he said it.

I could tell that he was
truly sorry now. I remembered the night that he broke up with me so clearly. The
pain shattered my soul. I cried for days after that. For so many months, I’d
waited on this moment: the moment he realized that he’d made the biggest
mistake in his life and asked me back. Now that it was here, though, it somehow
didn’t feel as good as I thought it would. All I could think about was Spencer
and how I’d hurt him tonight.

“Jose…I don’t know what to
say.” I treaded over the words carefully. When we dated, he had a quick temper.
I didn’t want to see that today.

“Taylor, I was in love with
you. Can we try again?”

“I’m in love with Spencer. I
don’t want to leave him.” I told him.

“I wish you’d think about it,
Taylor.” Jose said to me, then stepped up. He walked up to me, and spread my
legs so he could hug me. We used to do that all the time when we were together.
“Please.”

I shook my head as he hugged
me. “I won’t break up with him.” I told him. I didn’t want to lead him on.

Jose pulled away, and gave me
a look. The look that used to dissolve all of my resolve. That same look had
gotten his hand up my shirt once. He turned and walked away. I stepped off of
his tailgate as he stepped into his truck. He started his truck and drove away.
As he did, someone pulled into the driveway. I didn’t recognize the car, but
when it pulled up next to me, I realized it was Spencer. He was really mad, too.
He stepped out of the car, but didn’t walk up to me. He stood next to the car
glaring at me.

“I can explain.” I called to
him. I knew it sounded too cliché, but I couldn’t think of anything else to
say.

“I felt bad because I wasn’t
too nice to you. Guess I shouldn’t have felt so bad.” He said snidely, giving
me a dirty look.

“This wasn’t my fault. He was
waiting on me when I came home.” I tried to explain quickly as I closed the
distance between us. He wasn’t making it my way. I had to go to him. When I
reached him, I reached out for him. He pushed my hands away.

“Why?” he demanded.

“He just wanted to talk.” I
told him.

“About what? Everyone knows
he and Shelly are having problems. Why is he suddenly hanging around you all
the time?” Spencer said, with jealousy enveloping his entire body.

“It’s not all the time, Spencer.
I told him that I was in love with you, and I’d never leave you.” I said to Spencer,
then tried to grab his waist.

He pulled away. “So, he asked
you to be his girlfriend again?”

“Kind of.” I said.

“That’s a yes or no question,
Taylor.” He demanded firmly, almost sounding like my dad when he got angry with
me.

“Yes, but I said no.” I tried
to explain to him.

He stepped into the car
angrily and drove away. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain things.

Whoa. That was intense. I
didn’t know he had such a temper. That shocked me a little bit. Of course,
these were extraordinary circumstances. I’m not sure what I’d do if I saw him
with an ex-girlfriend. I was at a loss as to what to do about this. I could
drive over to his house and try to explain. I could call him. No. Waiting would
be good. I’d let him cool off for a day. Maybe after he thinks about it, he’ll
realize what a jerk he’s being.

The next morning, I received
a text from Spencer. I was ecstatic…until I read it. He was catching a ride to
school with Zane. I texted him back that I’d see him there. For over a month,
we’d been inseparable. We’d ridden to and from school together almost every
day. I didn’t want this to end. I don’t think I ever wanted this to end. As I
approached Senior Pole, I spotted Spencer laughing and talking with Zane and
Mary. Sally walked up about that time and started laughing with the group.

As I walked closer, Jose
stepped in front of me. “Hi, Taylor.” He said. There was pleasure saturating his
voice. I didn’t like it. “Did I mess things up for you and Spencer?”

He sounded hopeful, which really
pissed me off. Was he trying to cause trouble between us? Or was he just taking
advantage of the mess he’d caused by accident?

“I need to talk to Spencer, Jose.”
I said rudely, then pushed my way past him.

Spencer was watching the
exchange between Jose and me. His expression spoke volumes to me. It said he
was still pissed at me, and jealous as hell. As I neared him, he turned and walked
off down the sidewalk without a word, and without me. I caught up with him and
hitched my elbow inside his. He turned to look at me, and kept on walking. I
had to walk fast to keep up with him. We walked to a quiet corner, where we
usually made out for a few minutes before class. He pulled me into the little
opening, still glaring at me with anger on his face.

“He just came over. It wasn’t
my fault.” I told him quickly. I tried to wrap my arms around his waist.

He pushed my arms to my side
and held them there. “He wants you back. He’s telling everyone that he’s going
to get you back. No matter what it takes.”

“You act like I have no
choice in the matter. Spencer, even if I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t go back to
him. I’ll never go back to him. He hurt me really bad when he dumped me. I
cried for days. All because I wouldn’t sleep with him. That’s all that mattered
to him. I didn’t matter to him.” I tried to make it sound really offensive,
what he’d done to me. But in reality, it was what every other guy I’d dated had
done to me.