Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (13 page)

‘
Sorry.’

I averted my eyes as tears swelled. When she was silent for a moment too long I glanced back at her.
A dazzling shimmer at the side of her face caught my attention.

‘Are those earrings new?’ I asked.

‘Yeah.’ Stephanie paused. ‘Mum, Dad and April gave them to me as an early birthday present.’

‘
Oh.’ How lovely. She celebrated her birthday without even thinking of me.

‘
I’ll make it up to you. Let’s catch a movie tonight.’

‘
We’ve got school tomorrow.’ The automatic doors opened and I stormed off to find the car.

‘
So, it doesn’t have to be a late one.’

‘No. Don’
t worry about it.’

I turned away from her
after we climbed into the car and watched the traffic flash past the window for the entire drive home.

In
second term our schoolwork increased and Janet’s parents were on and off like a jumper in autumn. Suzie was only allowed out for school and dance classes and Stephanie spent hours crying in her room. Even though Janet and Suzie had major problems going on, Stephanie was the one I had to live with. I couldn’t control Jason’s moves and tell him to fix the problem anymore than I could control Stephanie. I hoped after her break in Toowoomba she’d be ready to move on and stop moping. But every night what sounded like pillow-muffled sniffles slipped under her door.

After all she
’d been through, I wanted to do something for her birthday. Just to make her feel special and take her mind off Jason. So I bought some helium-filled balloons and hid them in my cupboard overnight.

‘
Happy Birthday!’ I woke her up handing over the balloons and a small gold foil wrapped box.

‘
Thank you.’ She cried.

‘Here, here.’
I passed her a box of tissues. ‘You’ve done enough crying. Let’s have a great day.’

‘
I can’t believe you’ve done all this when I totally forgot your birthday.’

‘
Don’t worry about it. It’s in the past.’ I’d let go of the fact she’d forgotten my birthday, so she may as well let it go too.

‘
Do you want to ditch school for the day and hang out?’

‘
I can’t. You’ll have fun at school. Wait and see.’ It would have been fun to take a day off, but I had a maths quiz and I knew Steph was already in the bad books with most of her teachers.

She opened the present I
’d given her—a silver bracelet with a small charm in the shape of a cross. Since going to youth group I’d found so much peace in the symbol I wanted to give Stephanie a little peace as well.

‘
It’s really pretty. Thank you!’

Stephanie’
s eyes lit up at the school gate when she was greeted by girls with dozens of balloons. Everyone fussed over her all day. I hoped her day was fun and a timely distraction from her neglectful ex-boyfriend.

Mum and Dad had planned to give Stephanie a family dinner party for her birthday, but those plans were squashed after school. Jason had turned up and whisked her away. They obviously made up because
from fifty metres away, I watched her happily jump into his car. The car she’d paid for.

That night, I lay in bed wondering if she
’d come home. I released myself to sleep when the front door clicked just before midnight.

Stephanie wasn’
t in her bed when I woke up. She hadn’t come home. The click that let me sleep was only Dad locking up.

‘
I quit the job,’ Steph told me the next afternoon. ‘Jason took me out to a fancy restaurant for my birthday. It was amazing.’

‘
That’s great Steph. I’m ecstatic for you,’ I said knowing my voice sounded anything but.

‘
I’m so happy, but I don’t think I’d go as far as ecstatic. I’ll have to find something else.’

‘
Surely you can wait a bit?’

‘Perhaps a week or two
...’

I
waited for her to go on. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

I wanted to talk to her about dating. Now that I was sixteen, Mum and Dad were okay with me going out on a date. But I didn
’t have anyone to go out with, and well, I just wanted to talk to someone about it.

Thursday afternoon was my next opening to chat with Stephanie. But she had no listening ears, only talking lips.

Whenever I spoke she responded with vague comments like, ‘I thought we were over, but I was wrong.’ And, ‘He’s everything I hoped for.’ Then, ‘It’s not always great, but, what relationship is?’

Maybe I
should just listen and learn from her, as she paved the way before me.

Friday afternoon I again hoped to have a best friend deep and meaningful about what was happening in my life for a change. I walked out of the school grounds to see Steph lingering at the gate.

‘Hey, Tabbie,’ she called. ‘Come shopping with me.’

‘
Are you asking or telling?’

‘
Can you?’

‘
I guess.’ I checked the time on my watch. We’d be back in time for youth group.

‘
Jason’s parked over here.’

Oh, great. I was thinking she wanted to spend some time with me
but he was there. There was no way I wanted to go shopping with Steph and Jason.

‘
Is he coming shopping as well?’

‘
I’m sure he’ll drop us off. He’s not into shopping.’

I grinned, hoping she was right and climbed into the back seat. Maybe a shopping afternoon with Steph would be just the way to sort out my life.

‘Right, first stop, milkshakes,’ I said, as we watched Jason drive off.

‘
Okay, let me guess. Caramel for you?’

‘
You’ve got it.’

‘
Maybe I should get a skinny shake.’

‘
Why?’ I asked looking up and down her perfect figure.

‘April noticed I’
d gained a little weight.’

‘
No way. What on earth did she say that for?’

‘
You’re right. Stuff it. Make mine extra thick.’ Steph laughed and for the first time in a long time, she looked like my old light-hearted friend.

‘
It sure is good to see you smiling, Steph.’

She winked at me and grabbed two straws.

‘So you’ve forgiven him?’

‘
He said he was sorry.’

‘How do you trust he won’
t do it again?’

‘
I don’t know. But he does really care about me.’

I hoped she was right. I wished I had more experience. But
my gut told me she shouldn’t trust him and chances were she wouldn’t listen to my gut feeling on the matter.

‘
Right.’ Stephanie slurped the last drop of thick shake. ‘Let’s check out some clothes.’

Stephanie was drawn to the shops with clothes fit for nightclu
bbing. I wondered if the whole ‘making up’ business meant that Jason was going to drag Steph out with his friends. 

It seemed like
Stephanie was after the shock factor with the next round of trying on.

‘
That’s trashy, Steph. Where would you wear it anyway?’

‘
It’s how they all dress.’ She turned to look at herself in the mirror from every angle.

‘
Who? The girls at those parties you’ve been going to?’ Who was she hanging out with? Trailer trash?

‘
Yeah, I just feel so out of place and young.’

‘
You’re sixteen.’ I couldn’t control what she wore, but ... ‘Here, what about this, and this top … and here, try these.’ I passed her a few pieces that would leave a little to the imagination.

‘Okay, I’ll try them on.’
A few minutes later she walked out of the change room with wide eyes.

‘
I love that.’

‘
Me too.’ Steph smiled. ‘I knew there was a reason I brought you. Why don’t you find something new too?’

‘
Ah ... not from this shop.’ I looked around. I couldn’t see anything that I would wear. ‘Where would I wear clothes like these?’

‘
Maybe you could come to a party with us sometime.’

‘
Oh you’re funny.’ That would be really crazy. I couldn’t believe she even said it. ‘Three’s a crowd.’

‘
Let’s find you something.’ Steph paid for her clothes at the counter. ‘Next shop is your choice.’

I chose to hit
Towngirl. A shop where I could always find something I loved. Steph bought me a top, two pairs of jeans that didn’t make me look like a pear, and a cropped cardigan.

‘
Thank you.’ I hugged her. ‘I can’t believe how generous you’ve been.’

‘
That’s okay.’

‘
But are you sure? Like, I could pay you back for them.’

‘
No way. I wanted to buy them for you.’ Steph had a yearning in her eyes I’d never seen before. ‘Do you want to come back to Jason’s and he can drive you home?’

‘
Oh, are you going back there now?’ I was hoping we’d head straight home.

‘
He’s expecting me. We’re going out tonight.’

‘
I’ll be fine getting the train home by myself.’ I sighed, hoping she didn’t hear my disappointment.

‘C
ome back and have some dinner with us,’ Steph said. ‘I’ve had so much fun this afternoon. I think we’re getting pizza. Please say you’ll come.’

It didn
’t sound like the most fabulous invitation, but we’d had such a lovely afternoon I didn’t want this time with Steph to end. ‘Okay. But I really want to get home for youth. Can we eat soon after we get there?’

‘
Sure.’

‘
Can I use your home phone? I didn’t take my mobile to school. Mum will be wondering where I am.’

The noise coming from Jason’
s apartment rumbled down the stairwell.

‘
He must have invited some friends,’ Steph said over her shoulder as we walked up.

‘
Should I just go home now?’ I wanted to get out of there. Hanging out with a bunch of uni students in party mode was not my idea of fun. ‘If I get the next bus, it’ll still be light when I get home.’

‘
It’ll be fine. Just come in for a minute.’

Bad idea
, echoed in my ears but I ignored it. ‘Alright, but if I feel uncomfortable, I’m ringing Mum.’

‘
Okay.’

We had to push our way through
people dressed in trashy clothes, drinking beer and smoking.

‘
Babe, how did you go?’ Jason spoke to Steph.

How can I get out of here? Which is the quickest and easiest way out
? ‘Is it okay if I use your bathroom?’

‘
Sure, down there,’ he pointed, ‘to your left.’

High school kids drinking at a party was one thing
. This was a whole new level. I could only pretend to pee for so long before someone would be questioning where I was, or ask who was taking so long in the toilet.

‘
Are we still getting pizza?’ Steph was asking Jason when I returned.

‘
Yeah sure, we’ll order them later,’ he said.

‘
Can we get some now?’ she asked. ‘I invited Tabbie to hang around for dinner.’

‘
Great. Tabbie, grab a beer from the fridge,’ he said as he walked away.

‘
Steph, are you drinking?’ Because it pretty much looked like she was, as she clung to a beer bottle with one hand. Visions of Janet throwing up flashed in my eyes. Could Stephanie now be acting the same way?

‘
It’s only beer,’ she said. ‘And Jason’s already had half of it.’

‘
But you’re only sixteen.’

‘
Don’t get so stressed. I’m careful. Like ... it’s just one.’

‘
Hi, I’m Jules.’ A tall girl introduced herself, pushing past us in the hallway, with all the glamour of a supermodel. I hung my head, in awe of her beauty.

‘
I’m Steph, and this is Tabbie.’

Jules smiled and continued down the hallway.

‘I think it’s time I rang Mum,’ I said, wishing I’d remembered my mobile. ‘Where’s the phone?’

‘
It’s just over there.’ Steph grabbed it for me. ‘You won’t tell her about the drinks, will you?’

‘
Are you trying to hide it?’

‘
No.’ Steph shook her head as she put the bottle down. ‘Just rather they didn’t know.’

‘
Okay. I won’t tell them, but it might be a good idea to leave the beer up here if you come downstairs with me.’

‘
Sure.’

I
watched Steph take another swig as I dialled Mum’s number. I needed to get away from the place. Something there gave me the creeps. 

‘I’m going to
wait downstairs.’ I said when I hung up the phone. ‘Mum’s only ten minutes away.’

‘
Sure you don’t want a cuppa or a soft drink?’

I w
anted to say, “I’m going downstairs with or without you,” but instead I managed to force the words, ‘Stephanie, I want to get out of here.’

‘
Okay, okay I’m coming.’ Stephanie sculled the rest of the beer, grabbed one of my shopping bags and followed me.