Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (16 page)

I couldn’
t even follow the storyline of the movie. My whole body cringed every time there was partial nudity or a love scene. I half expected to see Suzie’s parents dragging her out before the end. But, eventually the movie credits rolled onto the screen and I saw Suzie stand up. I went to leave but Danny didn’t move. The only way out was past him.

‘
Excuse me.’ I pointed to his legs, completely blocking my way.

‘
Maybe we can do this again sometime.’ He glanced at me then looked away.

‘
Yeah.’ Another fit of laughter began rumbling in my chest. I rushed past him when he moved his legs. This time it was my nerves causing the giggle. I took a breath and managed to smother my laughter behind clenched teeth.

I obviously still looked flustered once we were outside.

‘What’s up?’ Suzie asked.

‘
Later,’ I said with a giggle, raising my eyebrows.

Joey was the complete gentleman and didn
’t appear too fazed by the whole dating-with-Suzie’s parents process. I wondered where he learnt to be so mature. He never came across that way in dance classes. I hoped it wasn’t just an act.

‘
Joey,’ Mr Peters said when our group had gathered together under the bright lights in the foyer. ‘You should come over for dinner one night. How about next Friday?’

‘
Sure, Mr Peters. I’d like that.’

And so began the successful dating life of Suzie Peters within the over
-protective parental boundaries. My glowing satisfaction over the success would be short-lived.

Mum stopped me as I walked in. ‘
Janet rang, asking if I’d be able to bring you to a party that she’s at.’

‘
How did she sound?’

‘
A little nervous.’

‘
Guess I’ll go and change my shirt and get a jacket.’

‘
You don’t have to go.’ Mum frowned.

‘
I reckon she needs me if she’s asked you to bring me over. Something over-the-top-strange must be up.’

When Mum parked outside
the party house, people were sprawled out everywhere. Most looked half tanked and it was still only just after seven.

‘
Mum, would you mind staying here for a few minutes? I’m not sure I want to stay. I’ll just go in and see if Janet will come home with us.’

‘
Do you want me to come in if you don’t return in ten minutes?’

‘Umm
…’ As if I wanted my mummy following me in. But the crowd did look pretty suspect. ‘Could you give me at least fifteen?’

Couples lined the walls sucking face, oblivious to the fact that their drunken public display of affection grossed out everyone else. 

‘Janet!’ I yelled over the music when I couldn’t find her anywhere.

‘
Hi, beautiful. Are you a friend of Janet’s?’ A guy stepped in front of me with bloodshot eyes and a crooked nose. ‘You’d be a friend of mine too.’

‘
Have you seen her?’

‘
Yeah.’ He laughed. ‘She’s down the hallway, first door on the right.’

‘
Thanks.’ I had to step over a passed out girl, then shuffle around another couple making out.

‘
But what about me?’ the guy called as I walked away.

I shook my head without looking back.

The first door on the right was closed. I knocked. No one answered. I knocked again.

‘
Janet! Are you in there?’             

I opened the door a little. What stood right in front of me was more than my eyes could handle.

‘Janet!’ Blinking, I looked away, trying to focus on anything but what was straight ahead. Eww. Eww. Eww. She was down on her knees in front of a boy. He stumbled away when he saw me, and reached to his ankles to pull up his pants.

Janet
gazed toward me without recognition. She squinted, like she was trying to focus. ‘Tabbie?’

‘
Come with me.’

‘
We were just—’

‘
Aah.’ I held out my hand. ‘Just stand up and come with me now.’

Thankfully
, she obeyed. I didn’t want to have to go in there and drag her out.

‘
Whad aar you do’n ’ere?’

‘
What am I doing here? I’m taking you back to sober up at my house.’

‘
You wanna dgrink?’

‘
No thanks.’

I
grabbed her around her waist and pulled her arm behind my neck to keep her upright. Her legs buckled under her, and we swayed before I could balance again. For a slight girl, it was an effort to get her outside.

‘
Sorry, Mum.’ I dumped Janet onto the back seat then climbed into the front.

Mum raised her eyebrows.

‘Don’t ask.’ I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to shake the scene from my mind.

I was thankful
Mum trusted my judgement and stayed silent. But while we drove, I wondered if my judgement was always worthy. Was I kidding myself, thinking I could actually help Janet, Suzie, and Stephanie through all their issues? Perhaps. But I couldn’t bring myself to break their confidences and dob them in.

I ran inside and pulled out our spare mattress and a sheet, then returned to help Mum bring Janet inside. Once she was snoring under the blanket, I went downstairs to watch TV.

‘Are you sure she’ll be alright?’ Dad asked.

I knew he meant more than
just sleeping off the alcohol. ‘Yeah, she’s just having a hard time with her parents.’

*~*~*~*

‘I slept here?’ Janet blinked, looking around my room.

‘
Yes.’

‘
I was at a party.’

‘
You were drunk.’

‘
I’d only had a few.’ She rubbed her temples.

‘
You don’t remember me bringing you back here? You were drunk.’

‘
Oh. Was it messy?’

‘
Yes. Well, no vomit this time. But messy all the same.’

‘
I don’t want to know.’ She pulled a pillow over her head.

I pulled it back so I could see her face.
‘But I’m going to tell you anyway.’

‘
Can I get a coffee first?’

‘
Don’t move. I’ll bring one up.’

Mum had already brewed a strong pot. I returned within minutes with a steaming hot cup for Janet.

‘So.’ I handed her the coffee. ‘I walked in to find you in a very compromising position.’

‘
I still had all my clothes on didn’t I?’

‘
Yes, but he didn’t.’

‘
Who?’

‘
I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before. It looked like you were about to well, ahem.’ My cheeks suddenly warmed up. ‘Like ... you didn’t even know if he was clean. He could have just taken a leak and you were about to put your mouth—’

‘
Stop! I’ve got it. Just stop. You don’t have to explain any more. I get the picture. I don’t want to hear another word about it.’

Desired outcome achieved. I hoped she would remember this moment the next time she thought about diving in front of another guy.

‘I’m going to church. You can come with me or stay as long as you like. I’ll be back at around lunchtime.’

*~*~*~*

‘That was such a great idea.’ Priscilla stopped me just before I walked in.

‘
What was?’

‘
Setting up a date for your friend like that. It really worked. Maybe you could start a dating service or something.’

‘
Oh, boy.’ My mind went back to the party I’d picked Janet up from. ‘I don’t think I like all that’s involved with matching people up. Anyway, I didn’t match those two up. I just helped them get past the strict parent issue.’

‘
What are you up to today? The music team have planned a barbeque. Want to join us?’

‘
I’d love to, but I’ve left a friend at home. I’d better get back to her.’

My thoughts trailed back to the movies and Danny. Had he asked me out or was he just suggesting we all go to the movies again sometime? Had I misunderstood him? What if I was imagining he had a little
bit of personality and he didn’t? I could never date someone just for their looks.

I wanted to rush to my default position and talk to my ridiculously beautiful and increasingly imperfect best friend. But she was missing in action. She hadn
’t been at school for a couple of days. So I didn’t ring her to talk through my crazy weekend. But I did ring to check up on her. Mid-ring a fuzz of static buzzed through, then the line went blank.
Come on, Steph. Don’t hang up on me.
I sent a text message asking her to call back. When she didn’t reply, concern clutched at my heart. I rang Jason’s home number. No answer. I prayed, asking for her to be protected and tried not to worry.

Just when I felt proud of myself for being able to keep the good friend code, I opened my big mouth without thinking. I mentioned to Suzie that Janet was drunk on the weekend. That sent Suzie off on a tangent.

‘Oh! She’s just asking for trouble drinking the way she does. Say no more. I don’t want to hear about any of the parties she’s going to. I’m barely allowed to leave my house, and she abuses her parents’ trust.’

It was a good thing Janet wasn
’t nearby or it may have turned into a cat fight. I questioned the connection of our circle of four. Had we been friends by circumstance, friends who never really connected on a deeper level? Perhaps I was also losing touch with Steph. Janet and Suzie relied on me, but hardly ever spoke to each other now. I’d love to pull everyone back together. But perhaps we’d drifted too far apart.

Out of the blue
that afternoon, Stephanie turned up at home.

‘
I didn’t see you at school today or yesterday afternoon.’

‘
I was so tired, I took an early mark yesterday and I slept in today.’

‘
I thought you said this job was much better with fewer hours. If you can’t handle school, maybe you should quit this job too.’

‘
I’ll work it out. I’m just getting used to it.’ Stephanie chewed a fingernail.

‘
Are you coming to school camp this year?’ We’d just received our consent forms and I hoped she’d come too.

‘
Isn’t that ages away?’

‘
Only a couple of weeks. Soon after the holidays, but we have to have the forms in by Monday.’

‘
I think I’ll pass,’ Steph said. ‘It’ll be pretty boring anyway.’

‘
Boring—how? Compared to what you and Jason do?’ I cringed at the slip of sarcasm in my voice.

‘
I’m feeling a lecture coming on.’

‘
I’m not going to lecture you.’ Even though I wanted to. ‘I’m just concerned you’re making some dumb decisions.’

‘
Well, don’t be concerned.’ Steph looked at me square on. ‘I’m doing just fine.’

She closed her bedroom door on me. I waited in the hallway, listening to her shuffle around on the other side of the wall. I guessed she needed some time to herself, so I retreated to my own room.

I pushed through the next week, heavy with mid-year exams. I looked forward to the reward on the other side. Three weeks off.

By Friday night, I was ready to ditch my high school friends and hang out with my church friends.

Everything was pretty normal at youth group until Mr Amazing caught my eye. When I realised I couldn’t drag my gaze away from him, I knew this was one guy I’d think about dating just for his looks. His olive skin glowed against the chocolate couch where he sat and his hair curled over one eye, bouncing against his lashes as he spoke. So blond he could be accused of dyeing it. Every time he blinked, his alluring brown eyes lit up.

‘
Stop staring, Tabbie.’ Shelly bumped me on the shoulder, snapping me out of my dreamy wonderland.

‘
I wasn’t staring.’ Straight away, my gaze headed back in his direction.

‘
He is pretty good-looking, hey?’

‘
Who?’ Okay, so I knew she knew who I was looking at, but Shelly never talked about boys.

‘
His name is Aiden. Come with me. I’ll introduce you.’

Oh boy. My heart was pounding at triple speed.

‘Aiden, this is Tabbie. Aiden has just moved here from Melbourne.’

‘
Oh, like moved here for good?’ Like, I wondered if I could have asked a lamer question.

‘
What are you up to tomorrow?’

Who
, me? Was he asking me out just after meeting me?

I shook my head smiling, like a complete ditz.

‘I’m playing footy. A bunch of these guys said they’d come along. You’re welcome to come too.’

‘
Aha.’ I smiled, nodding. I’d fallen under his spell. That night, I left wondering if I’d said yes to going to the moon and back, or just to a local football game.

The next day, Shelly picked me up just after lunch to watch the game. It was AFL. Australian Rules
Football League. Aussie Rules. I couldn’t work out which to call it. So I tried them all to find which rolled off my tongue the sweetest. I’d never watched a game in my life.

Priscilla seemed to know the rules and gave me a crash course. The ball
was mostly kicked. They get six points when they kick the ball through the two larger posts. They get one point when they miss the main goals and the ball goes through the side posts. They don’t throw, they hand-ball, or what looks more like punching the football.

‘
I think I’m understanding the game a little more now. Thanks for the info.’

‘
No worries. My brothers love the game,’ Priscilla said.

Soon after full time, Aiden came over to thank us for being his cheer squad. He walked along the fence and stopped right in front of me.

‘Hey, got anything on tonight?’ His eyes glistened as he smiled.

‘
No.’ A flash of heat surged through my body.

‘
Do you want to grab something to eat?’

‘
Okay.’

‘
Come over and wait in the clubhouse while I go get changed.’ He turned and ran back to his team.

‘
Hey,’ I grabbed Shelly’s arm, ‘I think Aiden just asked me out. Will you wait over in the clubhouse with me ’til he gets changed?’

‘
Sure. I think a few of these guys were planning to go over there anyway.’

I grabbed a juice from the counter and sat down at the table Shelly and Priscilla had claimed. Danny joined us. I hadn
’t even realised he was there, and now he sat right beside me.

‘
Hey, Tabbie.’ He leaned right over to me. ‘Would you like to catch a movie later?’ His words tickled my ear.

Once again, he had strung more than two words together, and such lovely words ... asking me out words. I was sure no one else had heard. But I had plans. I had to downplay his invitation.

‘Oh, is everyone heading out?’

‘
No, just thought ... Umm, never mind.’ He mumbled the last words and sat back in his seat.

I grabbed my drink and stared into it, sucking on the straw. I couldn
’t look at him. This was the guy who couldn’t string two words together. He’d probably never speak to me again after my flippant behaviour.

‘
Oh, great, you’re still here.’ Aiden walked out in his club shirt, hair still dripping from his shower. He’d exchanged sweat for a fresh soapy scent.

‘
Yes.’ I stood. Now I was the one who couldn’t string my words together. I followed Aiden outside, not daring to look at anyone’s reaction. Not daring to turn back to see Danny.

Aiden led me to a little Hyundai Excel. When we left the club car park, it rattled around
the corner. It sure didn’t match his looks one bit.

‘
Sorry about the car. But it’ll get me through uni.’

‘
You study?’ Oh, ahhh, I was heading out on a date with a uni student. The lectures I had given Steph about dating older boys started to mess with my mind.

‘
Yeah, I’m doing Commerce.’

‘How far through are you?’
I could have high-fived myself for speaking a whole sentence without getting tongue tied.

‘
This is my first year.’

‘
Oh.’ My breathing sounded wrong. Deep breathes. Gasps.

‘Let’s grab a quick bite to eat. There’s a game on TV. I want to get back to watch it.’

‘
AFL?’ I pulled my mobile out and sent mum a quick text to say I wouldn’t be home for dinner.

‘
Of course. Is there any other game worth watching?’

‘
Well ...’ I laughed.

‘
Did you enjoy the game?’

‘
Yeah, once I understood a few of the rules.’

‘
So you’ve never been into AFL?’

‘
No.’

‘
You can change.’

I smiled. Did that mean he already had plans to see me again?

He took me to a little café where we sat at a table on the footpath. I was glad to have the distraction of people passing. Aiden smelt good and looked good—all I wanted to do was lean across the table and kiss him. Gee, I’d only just met the guy. I now understood my best friend’s lack of self-control.

‘
Would you like a wine, or would you rather a coke?’

‘
Coke, thanks.’ I laughed. ‘I’m only sixteen.’

I saw the look in his eyes that said
, “well every other sixteen-year-old on the planet is drinking, why aren’t you?”

Truth
was, the idea of not being completely in control scared me. Especially after watching Janet and the other kids at parties. Anyway, who would look after everyone else if I got drunk? Not to mention that alcoholic uncle and perhaps an alcoholic gene in my family.

Aiden’
s hair began to dry and loosen as he spoke. I wanted to reach out and push the loose curl away from his eye. But I didn’t. I didn’t need to say much. He spoke continuously. I enjoyed his smooth voice. He told me about famous AFL players he knew. I’d never heard of any of them. He told me about the numerous times he’d won the flag. He told me stories of Melbourne, making me want to visit to see all the heritage and culture there.

Our plates were empty and there was a moment of silence where we movie-style gazed into each other
’s eyes.

‘
Did you want to come back to mine and watch the game with me?’

‘Thanks, but Mum and Dad—’

‘We should be off then.’

I nodded.

He went inside to pay for dinner. I took a couple of deep breaths. How long could my flap at such a pace? When he returned to the table, I stood. My arm brushed against his. Fire rushed through my body. I looked away to hide my hot face, sure to be red. He grabbed my hand and led me to his car. As he opened the door, I let his hand go, slipped into the seat and hoped my cheeks would cool in the ten seconds it took him to walk around the car to the driver’s side.

He pulled up outside my home and walked me to my front door. He brushed his lips against mine
before he said goodbye. I would’ve loved to have called it a kiss, but his lips had barely touched mine. He returned to his car and left me standing there wanting more.

‘
Are you doing anything tomorrow night?’ He called from the road.

‘
No,’ I said, breathlessly.

‘
I’ll pick you up at around six. We can watch a movie or something.’

‘
Okay.’ I looked at my watch and began to count down the hours.

*~*~*~*

‘So, how was last night?’ Priscilla asked.

‘
Good.’ My smile broadened until my cheeks hurt.

‘
Just good? Nothing else to tell us?’

I pulled the smile down for long enough to say,
‘We’re going out again tonight.’

‘
Wow. Go Tabbie. Is he coming today?’

‘
He didn’t say.’ We both looked around at the crowd gathering in the church foyer. He’d been to youth group once, but not to church on Sunday.

My smile fell when Aiden didn
’t show. I still had tonight to look forward to.

That afternoon, I rested so I’
d be fresh when Aiden arrived.

My mobile phone buzzed, sta
rtling me with a text message. ‘Sorry Tab, can’t see u 2night. Same time next week? I’ll pick u up at 6. A’

I threw the phone back into my bag and fell face first
onto my bed, letting my pillow catch my tears. It was a whole seven nights away. Seriously, I needed to get a grip!