Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (20 page)

I lay back
, closed my eyes and hoped the pain would subside with a little time. When I looked up, big puffy clouds floated around the sky. They were pretty enough to distract me from the intense pain. The sinking sun sent dark tree shadows that lengthened across the grass with every minute. Mosquitoes nibbled on my arms and ankles, forcing me to sit up and slap them. My ankle had blown up to three times its normal size.  

I tried to walk again, hopping o
n one leg, but nausea churned my stomach and the throbbing pain sent my head spinning. I slumped back down onto the stone-infested grass.

‘
Help!’ I called. ‘Help me,’ I repeated in barely a whisper.

Who on earth would be out here in the middle of nowhere? I had run at least two kilometres away from the camp grounds. Thankfully I wasn
’t in dense scrub bush. At least if a chopper flew overhead they might see me. But who would send for a chopper? Great day to wear earthy green! Gah. I fell backwards and punched my fist into the ground. I had no one to blame but myself. I cried and cried and cried.

‘
Hey. Do you need some help?’

Was
it an angel? I opened my eyes expecting to see a bright white supernatural being. But standing there in front of me was Miss World Candidate herself.

‘
Anna! I hope you can.’

‘
Wow.’ She crouched down to inspect my ankle. ‘How did you manage to do that?’

To tell her
I was running to try and thrash out my envy of her beauty probably wasn’t a good idea. I took a deep breath.

‘
I was running and a magpie swooped me.’

‘
They can be nasty this time of year.’ She stood. ‘The air is so fresh out here isn’t it? I saw you take off and tried to follow, but you ran so fast.’

Why would she follow me? The throbbing seemed to get worse as I sat up.

‘Do you think you could go for help?’

‘
I don’t want to leave you alone. Here.’ She reached out her hand to help me up.

Once standing, I went to swing my arm around her neck for support, but she was tall I could hardly reach. Instead we linked arms and she acted like a crutch, supporting me enough to hop.

I groaned at the extreme pain. When the campground was in sight, Anna stopped.

‘
Will you be able to wait here while I get a stretcher or something.’

I nodded clenching my teeth. The pain had increase
d to the point where I couldn’t speak.

She elegantly
strode away from me, leaving me wondering what it would be like to be so ridiculously beautiful. I closed my eyes and prayed she’d return soon.

Within ten minutes a rescue party of teachers and students returned along with the owner of the camp
ground. They loaded me onto a stretcher and I bounced along in a horizontal position for the next five hundred metres or so.

‘
We’ve called an ambulance. They should be here soon.’ The campsite owner led us to a smoother path.

Was this my way out? Maybe I could leave and sleep in my own bed tonight.

Anna returned to our room as soon as Janet and Suzie arrived at my side.

When
the paramedics examined my ankle, they decided it just needed to be iced, wrapped and elevated. Apparently there was no need for further medical attention.

‘
Just get it checked again when you arrive home,’ the ambulance officer told me.

I didn’
t want to stay. I wanted to go home.

‘
Oh, that’s good news.’ Suzie wrapped her arms around me.

‘
Maybe I should go and get it x-rayed?’ I looked to the ambos, hoping they’d agree with me.

‘
Only if the swelling doesn’t go down. But I’m sure you’ll be fine in a couple of days. Just keep off it.’

‘Y
ou have to stay. You don’t want to miss out on what we have planned tonight.’ Janet raised her eyebrows.

The extra shiny sparkle in her eyes concerned me. What was she planning?

An old wheelchair was kept on the
grounds for accidents like mine, so I was able to roll around rather than hopping. Thankfully the buildings were linked by ramps and paths. Janet pushed me back to my cabin while Suzie opened the doors.

‘We’
ll come back in half an hour and help you get to dinner,’ Suzie said.

‘
I can help Tabbie.’ Anna was lying on her bed. ‘We’ll meet you there.’

‘
You don’t have to do that.’ I looked at her, wondering why she was being helpful.

‘
Really, it’s fine. I’d love to help you.’

Why? I wanted to ask but instead I just said,
‘Thanks.’

‘Okay.’
Janet was already out the door. ‘See you both in the dining room.’

Their giggles
echoed through the hallway and under the shut door. Were they laughing at me? No, surely not. They were probably just finalising their planned pranks. Something I was no longer able to get involved with. At least they were talking to me again.

‘
They could have helped me, really.’ I didn’t want to put Miss World Candidate out, she’d already done more than I expected.

‘
It’s really no problem. I’d love to be useful.’

I looked to the ceiling then the floor.

‘You don’t understand that do you?’

‘
You’d love to be useful? Come on.’ I shook my head. She’d been voted the most beautiful in the school every year since year seven.

‘
Everyone looks at me like I’m a beauty queen.’

‘
Well, you are. You do the whole pageant thing, and you
are
beautiful.’

‘
But what use is that?’

None?
I stared at her, dumbfounded. Surely being beautiful would make life easier. Finding a boyfriend, getting jobs, getting noticed, and always being first picked out of a crowd.

‘
Everyone expects me to always be smiling and always have my hair done just right, ready to pose for a photo. I’m sick of it. I just want to do something for someone. That’s why I took off into the hills today. I didn’t really follow you, I just wanted to go for a run too. I was so sick of everything. I wanted to scream, “Give me someone to do something for other than myself!” And there you were, like you fell over just so I could help you out.’

I lowered my chin, raising my eyebrows
, questioning her wish.

‘
That sounded selfish.’ She pouted. ‘I didn’t mean to make your accident all about me. Sorry.’

‘
It must be nearly time for dinner. Should we go?’

Anna nodded and pushed me along the ramp to the dining hall.

‘Do you want to sit here, or with your friends?’

‘
Here is fine.’ Intrigued by what Anna had said in our room, I was interested in seeing how she interacted with her friends, the other beautiful people. It would be better than sitting with Janet and Suzie and hearing about the pranks I couldn’t join in with.

I couldn
’t help but notice how quiet Anna’s table was. Their topics of conversation hummed around cosmetics and fashion. Boring.

My
gaze was drawn to Janet and Suzie, speaking into each other’s ears with giggles and twinkling eyes. I turned back to my plate and pushed the camp slop around until it went cold. 

After
dinner we played the Hill Top Private version of Celebrity Head. It was laughter all around. I waved my hand, trying to get picked but it seemed I was invisible in my wheelchair. I rested my ankle on the bench seat in front of me. The swelling had already gone down quite a bit. The paramedics were right, which meant—lucky me—I got to stay for the whole camp. As soon as the night-time activities were over, Anna jumped up and came to my assistance. She pushed the wheelchair in silence.

‘
Sorry about before. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about wanting to help someone. Truth is, I’d rather go home than have to stay here.’

‘
Is that because you’re stuck in a cabin with me?'

I shook my head.

‘I saw your face when you realised you were rooming with me. You looked disappointed.’

I took a deep bre
ath. How horrible of me. I didn’t even know this girl, yet I’d made my assumptions.

‘
I’m sorry. I just hope tomorrow will be a better day.’

‘
Me too.’

We turned the lights out and the dull throb in my ankle kept me from sleeping.
Soon I heard giggling and laughter from the other cabins. Tears prickled my eyes, but crying would be pointless. Reaching for my bag on the drawers beside my bed, I grabbed a box of painkillers, thankful I’d remembered to bring them, and swallowed a couple with water. Once they kicked in, I fell asleep.

*~*~*~*

The sun streamed through the bare cabin window right onto my pillow, blinding my still closed eyes. So I gave up on sleeping any longer. I hobbled to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, then lay back on my bed with my head up the other end and watched the sky through the window.

‘Good morning!’ Anna bounced out of bed and into the bathroom.

‘Morning,’ I called backed to her as I swung my legs around to get up and dress for breakfast.

‘
Your chair is ready.’ Anna held the wheelchair.

‘
I reckon I could hop up there today.’

Anna tilted her head and
placed her hands on her hips. ‘The instructions were for you to stay off it and keep it up until you get home.’

Accepting her help, I plonked my butt back into the wheelchair. The dining hall was full by the time we arrived and our supervising teacher, Mrs Ostrich
, was addressing the group. Anna wheeled me straight up to the end of a table and slipped into the seat nearest to me.

‘
It will not be tolerated!’ Mrs Ostrich yelled. ‘The rules were clearly stated in your permission slips. There is to be no alcohol consumed on school camp.’ A vein bulged on her neck. ‘It’s absolutely appalling that we had to send two girls home last night because they were found in possession of alcohol. If you have any hidden in your bags, you too will be going home. There will be a complete bag check immediately after breakfast.’ 

I drew in a quick, gasping breath.

‘What’s up?’ Anna whispered.

‘Do you know who she’
s talking about?’

‘
No, no idea. Do you?’

I shook my head, craning my neck so I could look around the room, desperate to
find Suzie and Janet.

The gossip whooshed its way around the breakfast table like a bushfire. Confirmation filtered through quickly. My two friends had been sent home, suspended from school with possible expulsion.

Anna began eating breakfast—an apple. ‘I know they’re your friends, but what kind of stupid prank were they trying with spiking the teacher’s drinks?’

I didn
’t know. We hadn’t discussed bringing alcohol when we were planning the pranks. It would have been Janet’s idea. And with what Suzie had just been through with her parents, they made a dangerous duo.

I still hadn’
t quite worked Anna out, but with my main crew sent home, I had a chance. After a couple of days she actually seemed like a pretty normal girl. I wondered if our new friendship would last outside the camp boundaries.

‘
Janet, what were you thinking?’ I rang her as soon as I got home.

‘I just grabbed Dad’
s hip flask on the way out the door. I didn’t really even think. I was planning to drink it myself but the idea of spiking the teachers’ drinks just kind of dropped into my head.’

‘
Pretty dumb idea, hey?’

‘
Yep, but the good news is, I’m not expelled, just suspended for a couple of weeks.’

‘
Yeah, great news.’ If you consider missing out on classes leading up to mid-semester exams to be good news. ‘Have you spoken to Suzie?’

‘
No. I tried to ring, but her parents won’t let me talk to her.’

I hung up and rang Suzie, hoping to get past her parents.

‘Suzie isn’t allowed to take phone calls at this point in time,’ Mrs Peters said, as though she was a prison warden. 

‘
Could I come round there?’

‘
No. Goodbye.’

I was left staring at the phone listening to beep, beep,
beep.

The next day I didn
’t make it to school. Instead mum drove me to our trusty family doctor for an ankle check-up.

‘
Hmm.’ Dr Frank peered over the top of his bifocals. ‘Same ankle again, hey? How about we get an x-ray.’

I wiggled my toes.
‘But the swelling has gone down. It’ll be okay soon, won’t it?’

‘Hmm.’
He gave me that doctorly look over his glasses again. ‘Best we check for any fractures.’

The x-ray showed no fractures
, and Dr Frank assured me that if I kept it up while I was sitting and used the crutches to get around, it should be healed within a week.

I hobbled into school the next day, using crutches as a reluctant necessity
, and saw Anna waiting outside her homeroom. Now was as good a time to ask as any.

‘
Would you like to come to youth group with me tonight?’

‘
I’ve been thinking about it a lot since you mentioned it during camp. They won’t make me do anything weird, will they?’

‘
Nothing weirder than Celebrity Head.’

Anna laughed.
‘You know, I’d love to, but I’ve already got plans this week.’

‘
How about next Friday then?’

‘
It’s on again?’ Anna pulled out a compact mirror and checked herself.

‘
Sure is.’

‘
Alright. Just remind me.’

That night, my friends at youth group were refreshing after the week I
’d had with my school friends. My sprained ankle kept me seated away from the crowd. Shelly and Priscilla stayed with me while we chatted about how we could change the world. 

‘
You up for the beach tomorrow?’ Shelly tapped my crutches.

‘
Are you serious?’ I stood on one leg, rocking backwards and forwards.

‘
Yep, we’ll help you. Can’t leave you moping around at home. I’ll pick you up in the morning, at around ten.’

The next day, Steph flung the door open with a huge grin on her face.

‘Tabbie, you aren’t going to believe what’s happened.’

‘
You’re coming back to school?’ I flicked the TV off, wondering what the good news was.

‘
No, way better than that.’

‘
You’ve got an ordinary day job?’ I spoke in hope.

‘
Well, kind of. It’s not ordinary but it’ll be mostly through the day.’

‘
What?’ I patted the couch, signalling for her to sit.

‘
A music video producer asked me to go and work for him.’

‘
Have you been dancing?’

‘
Yeah, a little.’ Steph took a deep breath.

‘
When do you start?’

‘
Monday.’ She jumped up and did a happy dance across our lounge room.

‘
That’s great!’ I couldn’t believe she’d been dancing and hadn’t told me.

‘
Enough about me. What happened with that boy?’ She looked at my leg resting on a cushion. ‘And what have you done to your ankle?’

She actually sounded interested. I adjust
ed the bandage and leant back. ‘Well and truly over him. I got a bit intense, didn’t I?’

‘
No, you were just being normal.’ Steph sat down again.

We talked liked we used to, like we
’d gone back in time. I told her I was concerned for Suzie’s safety the way she was sneaking around at night. I told her how Janet had been drinking heaps, and the way she threw herself at boys at parties. While I had her undivided interest, I filled her in on almost everyone and everything.

‘You haven’
t said anything about that church thing you go to.’

‘
I didn’t think you were interested in that part of my life.’

Shelly would be arriving soon. My mind sway
ed back and forth as to whether I should invite Steph to the beach, or just stay home with her. If I chose to stay home, I knew I’d miss out and regret not going.

‘
I’m actually about to head down to the beach with my church friends. Would you like to join us?’

‘
Do you mind if I don’t? I need to catch up on some sleep. This house is so peaceful.’

‘
Make yourself at home. I think Mum and Dad are out all day, so the house will be quiet. I’ll be back after lunch.’

*~*~*~*

‘Hey, Tabbie.’ A familiar male voice caught my attention as I climbed out of the car. ‘I’ll carry you.’

A million butterflies few around my stomach. Danny rushed towards me. My jaw wouldn
’t move to form words. Even my smile fell short of where it should have been. When he touched me, my whole plan to forgo boy chasing fell apart. He whisked me off my feet in one swoop. Effortless. Shelly carried the crutches, leading the way to the beach. I knew, from that moment on, I wanted Danny’s firm muscles to hold me every day. I wanted his shy smile to shine in my direction.

But it was over too quickly. He
gently lowered me down, shook out my towel in line with the other girls and stood back, looking pleased with himself. He went to pick up his surfboard but paused and faced me again.

‘
Did you want to go for a swim? The water would probably be good for your ankle.’

I smiled. Chivalry was still alive and somehow it ha
d stolen my voice. 

‘
I’ll carry you.’ He held his hand out to help me.

‘
No thanks. Bit cold.’ I managed to blurt out. What if I got knocked over in the waves and stuffed my ankle beyond repair? ‘I’m happy to just lie here today. But thanks.’

I couldn
’t take my eyes off him until he reached the water and began to paddle out. Blinking, I turned to catch up on the girls’ conversation, which was almost impossible. All that ran through my mind, over and over was, “I’ll carry you.” I could still feel his taut skin buffing against mine. My cheeks grew warm as I imagined him lifting me up again.

I clenched a fist and reminded myself that I wanted to wait for God to deliver the perfect match for me. I was going to remain single, like Shelly and Priscilla
, and not waste my time with senseless dating.

I lay back and let the sun blind me
until I had to close my eyes. No, I wouldn’t let it happen. I could turn off my attraction to him. But, as if to confuse me, when I opened my eyes, Danny was walking towards me. He speared his board into the beach dripping salty water and kicking up the sand on my towel. Then he spread out his towel beside mine.

My heart raced until he began talking. He joined in with our conversation about
world news—heartbreaking issues of poverty and human trafficking. I saw past his biceps, past his messy hair, past his surfer-cut body and into his heart. My whole body tingled as my neck prickled with heat.

‘
It’s time we stopped talking about all the problems and did something.’ Priscilla punched the sand.

‘
Are you volunteering to head off to the mission field?’ Shelly raised an eyebrow.

‘
Not at the moment. I’d like to finish uni, then I might,’ said Priscilla.

‘T
hey need money. Missionaries, that is.’ Danny brushed sand off his shins. ‘The organisations—they all need money to be effective.’

‘How about a car wash?’
Priscilla suggested.

‘
When?’ I asked, wiggling my ankle, which sent a pain up my shin. I wouldn’t be much help at a car wash right now.

‘
How about next Saturday?’ Danny said. ‘Instead of hanging out down here, we could hold a car wash and send the money to the ministry in Uganda that my parents are off to next year.’ He looked down to my ankle. ‘Perhaps we could get you a chair to sit on?’

‘My ankle might be okay by then.’
Wishful thinking was better than being left on the sideline.

A
nd it was a chance to be significant. I looked forward to the car wash with a thrill of hope for the people we could help.

When I arrived home, Steph blinked and yawned like she had just woken up.

‘Hey, hi. Looks like you had a good sleep.’

‘
Yeah.’ She stretched. ‘I really needed it.’

‘
It’ll be getting dark soon. Do you want to stay for dinner?’

‘
I’d love to.’ She smiled but her face was anything but relaxed. ‘I’ll just text Jason.’

At dinner Mum asked Stephanie about her parents. Stephanie stabbed a
piece of food, telling them she’d just spoken to them today. 

I didn’t buy it. She’d
slept the whole time I’d been away. And I doubted whether she’d been in touch with her parents before she arrived.

‘
Steph?’ Dad questioned.

‘
Look, I’ve told them I still live here. I just stay at Jason’s sometimes. What’s the difference? I’ve still got things here.’

‘
As Francine said, you’re always welcome here. Honesty is the best policy and I suggest you tell the truth next time you speak with your parents.’ Dad cleared his throat then took a sip of water. ‘Peter is thinking of moving home, so we’ll have to move your things into Tabbie’s room.’

‘
That way, if you ever want to come and stay a night, you can just bunk in with Tabbie,’ Francine said.

‘
Any time,’ I said.

Stephanie opened her eyes wide gazing from Mum to Dad to me.

‘See, we’d all love you to stay a couple of nights,’ I added.

‘
Now, would you like us to call your parents and tell them about Peter moving back?’

‘
No!’ Steph’s eyes were fiery, her hands shaking.

What would have been
causing her to look so tense and nervy?

‘
Thanks, but I’d better get back now.’

When Mum pulled up in front of t
he three-storey building, Jason’s unit looked dark.

Mum wound down the window
and called out to Stephanie. ‘Do you want me to come up and make sure you get in safely?’

‘
No, I can see a light on. I’ll be fine. Thanks for dinner.’ She ran towards the stairs.

I couldn’
t see anything but darkness in the direction of their unit as Mum started to drive.

‘
Mum, I can’t see a light.’

‘
Are you sure?’

I turned back. There was a small glow
—maybe I’d missed it before. ‘Oh, maybe there is a light there.’

If she needed divine intervention
, I hoped it was there, waiting for her.