Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (23 page)

The youth group leaders had set up the hall out the back of the church with streamers and party lights. As I walked in with Anna, a band was playing, making it seem more
like a concert than a farewell. Anna stood beside me, looking in every direction, trying to find Danny.

‘
Anna, just enjoy the band. Danny will be here somewhere. He’s probably up the front. After all, they are playing in his honour.’

‘
Why can’t we push through the crowd?’

‘
Because that would be rude.’

‘
You’re such a goody-two-shoes.’ She rolled her eyes at me, but didn’t push forward.

It wasn
’t the first time I’d been called that. I wondered again how Steph was. I must call her tomorrow. The band finished and the crowd spread out and moved into party mode.

‘
Do you all party without any alcohol?’ Anna asked.

‘
Anna, we’re mostly under age.’

‘
Danny would be eighteen by now if he’s finishing school.’

‘
He’s not finishing yet. He’s still only seventeen. Anyway, we’re on church grounds.’

‘
Lame. But I guess this is my last chance to change Danny’s mind about me. Nobody has ever rejected me like he has. I’m on a mission.’

Her gung
-ho attitude amused me. Even if I’d tried to say something about her chasing after him, I’m sure she would have had an appropriately inappropriate answer.

‘
Hey,’ a familiar voice came from behind, arms enveloped me. I turned, as my heart thumped with the affection.

‘
Joey.’ I smiled. He looked okay. I was glad to see him.

Joey
’s arms lingered around me for a moment too long. I pulled away. But he left his arm around my shoulder. I figured he was just grabbing a little comfort where he could. But when he spoke the waft of alcohol told me otherwise.

‘
I called Danny, like you said. He’s been great.’

‘Have you been drinking?’

‘Just a couple.’ He shrugged. ‘Danny, as I was saying, is the best friend I could have ever asked for.’

I wanted to
continue the conversation but Anna pulled on my arm.

‘
There’s Danny. Are you coming with me?’

‘
Sure.’ I ducked out from under Joey’s arm. ‘See you later.’

Joey smiled, unfazed
, and moved onto another group.

This was the last chance for me to refresh the image of Danny that had been burned into my memory alongside the image of the original Mr Biceps. I had to admit, it was the image of someone I hoped
I would end up dating one day. Right now, even though my eyes lingered, I controlled my feelings to nothing more than friendship. Truth was, he wasn’t the dork I first thought he was. He was an amazing compassionate guy, about to give up two years’ life in Australia to serve at an orphanage in Uganda. If I was honest, I would admit that made him even more attractive.

‘
Tabbie.’ Danny broke away from the group he was talking to. ‘Thanks for coming.’

‘Hi
, Danny.’ Anna jumped in front of me.

‘
Hi, Anna. You two came together?’ He talked small talk, while his gaze darted like he wanted to say a million other things.

‘
We did,’ I said, peering around from behind Miss World Candidate herself.

‘
Before I forget, I’m getting everybody’s addresses. I hope to write, but please don’t expect anything soon. There’s a book over by the door for you to write in your email and home address.’

Anna linked her arm through Danny’
s and led him off to do the rounds. Stranded, I stood alone. Joey had disappeared as well. I merged into a group talking about the orphanage Danny and his parents were heading to.

While I attempted to focus on the conversation in the circle, I kept tipping my gaze towards Anna and Danny. Anna was waving her hands and laughing over the top of the m
usic. I heard her say, ‘Yes, Danny is my hero.’  And, ‘I can’t wait for him to return home.’ And then the absolute bomb, ‘Perhaps I’ll pop on over to Africa myself.’ My heart sunk a little. She didn’t even care enough to know the specifics—he was going to Uganda, not just Africa.

As the party wound down, Anna came back to me for her lift home. Mum would be waiting outside.

‘The book!’ Anna stopped to add her details as we were leaving.

‘
I guess I should add mine as well.’

‘
Never mind.’ Anna closed the book when she’d finished. ‘I’m sure if he wants to send you a hello, he can do it through me.’

I smiled, opened the book and wrote my details directly below hers.

‘Come on,’ Anna called.

‘Ok.’ I closed the book, only leaving my physical address and not my email.

Anna and Danny had looked so cosy all night together. I wasn’t sure what Shelly had been talking about with her so-called insider information. Anna was sure that if Danny was staying in Sydney, they’d have been an item before Christmas. I tended to believe her.

That night clear vivid dreams invaded my sleep. I saw Steph in trouble. I saw her being pushed around. She was hurt. I woke up dripping with sweat and my heart racing. I was sure I
needed to go and see her, but I’d have to wait until the morning. I lay back on my pillow watching the glow of my digital clock. Minutes flicked over into hours until I fell asleep again. I dreamt about African babies. I saw myself holding a tiny, dark skinned baby. I woke up with sticky eyes. In the morning I ate breakfast with Mum and asked her if she believed dreams held any weight in life.

‘
Sometimes I think dreams are just your subconscious working overtime. Sometimes they could have a deeper meaning.’

‘
Do you think God could speak to us through our dreams?’

‘
Maybe.’

I threw the last of my toast into the bin and swapped my pyjamas for a T-shirt, shorts and runners. The solitude I found in the run was spent not alone, but with God. I asked him if there was any truth in my dreams.
If there were signs about real life. I ran for miles and found myself outside Jason’s apartment building. I caught my breath mounting the stairs and was greeted at the door by Jason.

‘
She’s not here,’ he told me.

He looked completely out of it. Not in the same way Janet looked when she was drinking.
His eyes were streaked with red—I wondered if it was drugs.

‘
Can you tell her I dropped by?’

‘
Sure,’ he said, closing the door in my face.

I took the stairs two at a time and contin
ued running. I prayed for Steph’s safety, I prayed that she would get out of the relationship with Jason. I didn’t trust him. I wished she would call me.

I returned home to have mum sto
p me on the way to the shower. ‘Hey love, I didn’t realise you’d be gone for so long. Danny rang about an hour ago and asked if he could drop by. I figured it would be okay with you, considering you went to his party last night. Is that okay?’

‘
That’s fine.’ My heart tumbled a little.
I am so over that crush!

I thought last night was the last time I would see him.
He was probably just going to ask something about Anna. Taking a couple of deep breaths to calm myself, I ran the shower to cool my burning up face and wash my sweaty armpits. 

‘
Tabbie.’ I just caught Mum’s voice over the streaming water. ‘Danny’s here.’

Argh
. Why did I start washing my hair? He wouldn’t hang round ’til I dried it. ‘Be out in a minute.’

I turned the water off, jumped out and saw some fluffy bubbles still in my hair. I tried to wipe them away with my towel but I still looked sudsy. So I jumped back in the shower to wash away the shampoo, and arrived downstairs two minutes later looking a little drippy.

‘Sorry,’ Danny smiled, looking towards my mother. ‘I didn’t mean to get you out of the shower.’

‘
It’s okay, I just needed ...’ I stopped myself from blabbering. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘
It’s just that, um ... you didn’t write your email address in my book, and … well, if you didn’t want to that’s fine but I’d like to write to you and email is quicker than snail mail but I understand if you don’t want to give me your email address. I have your home address anyway, but just tell me if you don’t want me to write.’ He shut his mouth and looked like the king of nervousness.

‘
I can give you my email address.’ I looked around to where Mum was standing, but she’d disappeared. She must have left during Danny’s gibbering. I took the book he was holding and wrote in the back. ‘Anna’s pretty messed up that you’re leaving.’

‘
Yeah.’ He scratched his head, sending hair over his left eye. ‘Have you got time for a coffee or anything?’

‘I’
d better get back to studying, after taking last night off. I’ve still got a couple of exams.’

‘
Of course you do. And I’d better get back to packing.’ He took steps towards the door.

I followed him. Should I hug him goodbye? No. If I did
, I just might stay glued there for too long. Awkward. ‘Bye, then.’

‘
See ya.’ He lingered for a moment and then ran out to what I guessed was his parents’ car. He beeped the horn and waved as he left.

A tear clung to my lashes before it drip
ped down my cheek. There was no way I was over my Danny crush. How could I be attracted like this to a friend’s possible boyfriend? I was glad to see him leave. I needed to focus on school. I needed to get good grades. Maybe the dream about a baby was confirmation to work toward getting a Social Science degree. 

*~*~*~*

‘Can you believe he’s really going and I didn’t win him over?’ Anna stopped me on the way into school on Monday.

‘
Well, yes, I can believe it. He’s chasing his dream. Something I’m about to do.’

‘
What do you mean?’

‘
I’m going to focus on exams ...’I began to explain what I meant, but stopped.

Anna didn
’t seem interested anyway. ‘Yeah, exams. He came to see me yesterday.’

‘
Yeah?’ Is this where I tell her he came to see me too?

‘
Prick.’

Ah
... probably not. ‘Why, what happened?’

‘
He apologised for leading me on and said he probably wouldn’t get a chance to write.’

‘
Oh. I’m sorry.’

‘
Sure you are. I saw the way you were looking at him. You’ve got a huge crush, don’t you?’ She went to say something else, but let out a groan and stormed off.

My friendship with Anna was short
-lived after all. She didn’t give me the time of day after that.

I flew through my last few exams and said goodbye to year ten, knowing I needed to see Steph.  I
continued to pray for her, sensing she wasn’t safe. Every day for the last week I’d sent text messages, mostly without reply.

After dumping my school bag at home, I caught the bus to S
teph’s. It took forever to get there. It would have been quicker to walk.

As I got close to the staircase, the sight in front of me caused me to stumble. Each step I took was suspended in time. There in front of me, lying on the concrete, buckled and bleeding
, was my best friend. I urged my legs to run to the base of the stairs. She looked lifeless. Sticky blood clumped in her hair while a slow trickle oozed out of the wound.

I fumbled to grab my phone and punched in 000. ‘
I need help!’

The emergency operator took the address and said the ambulance wouldn’t be too long. I hoped she was right.

‘
Steph? Steph! Can you hear me?’ There was no response. I lifted her arm and couldn’t find a pulse. I leant in close. The faintest whisper of breath swept across my cheek. ‘Steph, you’ll be okay.’ Tears blurred my vision. ‘Please, Lord, keep her alive!’ I screamed, then sat holding her hand until the siren bleared and paramedics took control.

‘
Would you like to ride with us to the hospital or get your own way there?’

‘
With you.’ I sat in the van, watching them work to keep Steph alive. It was like time froze as we sped through the city streets to the hospital.
Please don’t let another friend die.

‘
Stephanie is still unconscious.’ A nurse met me in the waiting room. ‘You’re welcome to come in and see her for a while.’

I nodded, following the nurse to find Stephanie attached to tubes.

‘Hi, Steph.’ I tried to keep my voice bright but I doubted I’d fooled anyone. ‘It’s me, Tabbie. You’re going to be okay.’

Stephanie didn
’t respond. The machines whirred and a digital line pulsed with her heart beat. That night I slept in the waiting room for a couple of hours then returned to her side.

Mum was with me, only leaving for a few hours to get some sleep at home. Stephanie showed no change. She was stuck in a coma. But I was thankful she was alive.

When Mum arrived the next morning and saw there was no change, she jingled her car keys, grabbing my attention. ‘Tabbie, why don’t you come home with me for a while? I’ll bring you back after you’ve had a sleep in your bed.’

‘
No, I want to stay here. If she doesn’t wake up today, I’ll sleep at home tonight. But today I want to stay.’

I walked Mum to her
car, then returned to Stephanie’s bedside. Her eyes fluttered a little. ‘Steph, I’m back. I just had to pop out for a few minutes.’

Stephanie blinked. I pressed her buzzer to call
in the nurse in. ‘Steph, it’s me, Tabbie.’

‘
Tabbie?’ She began to cry.

‘
You must have fallen down the stairs.’ I grabbed her hand. ‘You’ve been unconscious for hours. I found you yesterday afternoon.’

She looked frightened. I hated seeing my best friend in such a state.
‘It’s okay, everything will be okay.’

Stephanie fell asleep again. She continued to drift in and out of consciousness.

‘The next few weeks will be hard,’ the nurse told me. ‘It’ll take a while for her body to detox from the drugs and alcohol.’

*~*~*~*

Over the next few weeks I spent a lot of time visiting and praying for my best friend. Steph moved into a rehab centre. And I found refuge at church.             

‘
Shelly, please pray for my friend, Steph.’

‘
I’ll do better than just pray for her myself. Let’s put in a prayer request. Our intercessors would love to pray for your friend.’

‘
Thank you.’ If faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, I sure hoped God could move for Stephanie.  

Priscilla snuck up beside me.
‘Are you keen for a day at the beach?’

‘
I’d love that.’

‘
Great, we’ll pick you up in the morning at nine.’

I wasn
’t ready when Shelly and Priscilla arrived. I was still in my pyjamas, sitting at the computer, reading an email for the hundredth time.

‘
Come in.’ I heard Mum say. ‘She’s at the computer. You can go through.’

‘
Caught!’ I laughed looking down. ‘In my PJs.’

‘
No rush.’ Shelly smiled. ‘But sometime this morning would be good.’

‘
I’ll go and get changed.’

‘
Hey, how’s Stephanie going?’ she called after me.

‘
She’s going to be okay now. I just know she will.’ I ran upstairs, got changed in a flash and returned, to find Priscilla was now also waiting in my lounge room.

‘
Everything else okay?’ Priscilla asked.

‘
I got the craziest email this morning. I’ll tell you all about it on the way.’