Spirit (31 page)

Ashriel
hesitated again. I imagined lying was as difficult for an angel as it was for
one of the Fae. Iris said that humans believed that faeries were descended from
angels. The more I dealt with Ash on this side of the Ether, the more I
believed that was probably true.

“Well, not
usually,” Ashriel finally replied. “But oftentimes, earthbound angels have
different sets of rules and realities than higher angels.”

“Higher angels,”
I smirked. “Stupid jumped up angels, more like.”

“Oh,” Steven
said while Jodi only made a noncommittal noise. I wasn’t sure how much more of
this I could take. First Steven was doing whatever he could to convince Jodi I
wasn’t gone while Jodi refused to believe I could be brought back. Then Steven
was willing to buy everything Ash was selling while Jodi glared at him with
distrust. Why the hell did we always have to make things so hard?

“All right,”
Jodi said, shifting her weight to one side, making her hip jut out. “Why would
you need our help?”

“What do you
mean?” Ashriel asked.

“You’re this
higher angel
,” Jodi said, making air
quotes with her fingers. “Why would you need the help of two humans to bring
her back?”

“Oh!” The smile
on Ash’s face told me he was relieved he didn’t have to figure out a half-truth
this time. “Steven banished her, and I have no idea where she went. She’s gone
beyond my sight, so I need Steven to help me bring her back.”

Steven nodded,
and I had to admit, it made sense. Much of what Ash had done proved that angels
weren’t omniscient, so it made sense that Steven sending me to this otherworld
would send me out of Ash’s realm of sight. I imagined the power that ripped my
wings away knew exactly where I was, but since I had turned my back on them,
they didn’t give a damn. I didn’t understand why Ash was trying so hard to pull
me back though.

Maybe I was the
first charge to get away and it was a personal vendetta. Maybe losing a charge
put him in a spot of trouble with his superiors. I really didn’t know, but
whatever the reason, he wasn’t giving up on me and he wasn’t telling Jodi and
Steven the whole truth.

“Well,” Jodi
said slowly, finally letting her arms drop to her sides. “I guess I can see
that.”

“So you’ll let
him help?” Steven asked, turning toward her.

“Maybe,” she
said. Steven smiled brighter than the sun and Ashriel appeared to breathe a
sigh of relief.

“Damn it,” I
muttered, closing my eyes and dropping my head. Their voices faded as my
concentration wavered, so I opened my eyes and focused quickly on the looking
glass, bringing the picture back to full clarity.

“What do we have
to do?” Jodi asked.

“You were right
about doing an invocation,” Ashriel said, “but you need to use angel magic, not
elemental or witch magic.”

“That might be a
problem then,” Jodi said, glancing at Steven.

“Right,” Steven
agreed. “Shayna always wrote the angel spells. I mean, she wrote most of our
spells, but angel magic, that was all her. We didn’t even really help with
those.”

“I see,” Ashriel
said, and I felt a fluttering of hope in my chest. “Well, I’m sure I can guide
you. An angel invocation isn’t much different than what you did here. We’ll
implement angelic script to harness our powers and guide Shayna to us.”

“Great,” Steven
said. “So can we do it now?”

“I appreciate
the enthusiasm, but no.” Ash shook his head before gesturing to the East. The
first hint of dawn crested over the horizon. “We’ve lost the night, and people
will be here soon. I don’t believe performing this spell in the middle of the
day would be a good idea.”

“We can always
go somewhere else,” Jodi offered.

“True,” Ash
said, “but do you have anything with which to draw the circle and glyphs?”

“No,” Steven
said, “that was all Jane and Sherry’s stuff.”

“As I
suspected,” Ashriel replied. “I will come for you tonight, at sunset.”

“Where should we
meet you?” Jodi asked.

“Here.” Ashriel
flourished his hand and a folded piece of paper appeared in his fingers, which
he handed to Jodi.

“Okay,” Jodi
said, turning to look at Steven. Before they could say anything else, Ashriel
was gone, the echo of his wings fading as he flew off.

“Yeah, okay, bye
then,” Steven called out, throwing his hands in the air as he looked at Jodi.

“Drama queen,”
Jodi said, waving off the missing angel. “Listen, Steven, I want you to know
I’m not buying everything he said.”

“What do you
mean?”

“What do I
mean?” Jodi replied, blinking at Steven. “C’mon, the dude is an angel and he
lost Shayna? He needs our help? No, I don’t think so.”

“What he said
made sense,” Steven said but not with as much conviction as he should have.

“Of course it
did,” Jodi agreed. “He was trying to convince us. I’m just saying Shayna must’ve
taken off on him for a reason, so we probably won’t do her any favors if we
just take him at his word and go along with whatever he says.”

“Yeah, all right,”
Steven said after a few silent moments. “So what should we do then? I mean, the
dude is an angel and we have, like, no powers left.”

“I’m not totally
sure,” Jodi said, crossing her arms over her chest. She turned and started
pacing, her blond eyebrows drawn together as she tucked her chin to her chest.

“Do you think
those angel and demon traps you see on TV and in the movies are real?” Steven
asked after a few moments.

“What?” Jodi
stopped to look at him.

“You know,”
Steven said, waving his hand in the air again as if she’d suddenly understand
him just by the gesture. “Like he said, angelic scripts or glyphs. You always
see them draw them on the floor and trick the angel or demon into walking over
it and then bam! They’re trapped!”

“Oh!” Jodi
finally understood him. “I have no clue, but that’s not a bad idea. Not a bad
idea at all.”

“You still have
the books you took from Shayna’s house?”

“I do.”

“Then let’s get
going.”

I let my hands
fall into my lap, feeling the pricks and pins in my shoulders from keeping
myself so pent up as I watched the casting and Ashriel’s performance. The red
marks on my fingers and palm were deeper and angrier. I held my hand out to the
heat of the still glowing coals of the fire, flexing my fingers, trying to
loosen them. Balor huffed in his sleep again, rolling to his back so that all
four paws were in the air and his tail fanned out in an arc on the ground.

When I scooted
back over to him and moved to lay beside him, he rolled to his side, his four
legs surrounding my head and shoulders as I rested my head on his ribs. His fur
was dusty but warm, going a long way toward relaxing the ache in my shoulders.
I tucked the handle of the looking glass into my belt. It was a little awkward,
but I didn’t want to take the chance I’d step on it when I woke later.

Jodi and Steven
had their work cut out for them; they wouldn’t find any “angel traps” in my
books. The best they would find were binding spells and the Enochian alphabet,
the supposed alphabet of the angels. If they could figure out the symbols of
the alphabet, they might be able to come up with something. The more I thought
about it, the more the fluttering of hope in my chest grew. It really wasn’t a
bad idea, if they could get it right.

The idea we
might ever need to fight against an angel had never occurred to me. Even now,
knowing that Ashriel was manipulating Jodi and Steven, the idea that they were
going to try to trap an angel seemed so bizarre to me. I remembered looking at
Iris of the Shattered Light’s beautiful face as she asked me if I was satisfied
with the bloody ruin on the floor that used to be a sylph. Now my angel, my
Ashriel, was preparing to betray my friends. Was there no one left that wasn’t
a complete disappointment? My five-year-old self cried inside of me, thrashing
her tiny fists and feet.

I was back to
waiting, hoping I could pull Balor with me when Ashriel yanked me out of here.
I closed my eyes and tried not to think about watching Jodi and Steven’s faces
as I was once more taken away.

Chapter 18

When I woke, I
was alone. Dirt coated my cheek and a few locks of hair had come out of my
braid. I didn’t know where Balor had gone, but I assumed he’d gone in search of
food. When I heard him coming through the brush, I was sitting on the
riverbank, my face washed, and in the process of rebraiding my hair. I was
relieved to see the animal in his jaw was featherless. It actually looked a lot
like a rabbit, except for the short, pointy, cat-like ears.

I blanched at
the idea he’d caught a tiny house cat and shoved that thought right out of my
head before I picked up the dead animal he proudly laid at my feet. I scratched
the top of Balor’s head as I walked over to the fire. Skinning this animal was
much easier, especially with the puncture wounds from Balor’s massive teeth. I
managed to have the thing spitted and cooking in less than twenty minutes
without my stomach threatening to revolt against me.

As I ripped the
meat from one of the tiny legs, telling myself it was chicken, I said, “All
right, we’re gonna find the edge today.” Balor only paused for a moment before
digging back into his breakfast. I had only taken the legs for myself, partly
because it was easier to convince myself it was chicken and partly because I
hadn’t wanted to gut the animal earlier and lose what little appetite I had.

“That bastard
angel is gonna try to trick my friends into pulling me over so he can snatch me
away. And my friends think they can outwit an angel.” I couldn’t help snorting.
I would have tried the same thing, but I’d learned a lot since I died. A big
part of what I’d learned was we sometimes thought a little too highly of our
abilities.

I tossed the
cleaned bone to Balor, who caught it effortlessly. “Anyway, it’s time I stop
messing around and waiting for someone else to save me, right? So I’m done. We
are finding the edge today.” Balor made a noise and I nodded at him. “I know, I
know we’ve been looking forever, but I think I figured out what we were doing
wrong. The edge isn’t an actual edge. Like, this place doesn’t just end
somewhere like an island, you know? I think it’s just a metaphor, and we just
have to figure out how to leave.

“Gwyn has the
right idea, shifting the realities around him, hoping it’ll dump him out into
his world. And you know what?” I took a breath, wiping a drip of fat from my
chin. “I think his reality is Iris’s kingdom.” I smiled at Balor’s confused
look. “I know you probably don’t have any clue who I’m talking about, but it
doesn’t matter; I think I’m right. And yes, I am aware that I’m talking to a
dog, but who else am I going to talk to?”

I tossed the
last bone to Balor and got to my feet, awkwardly trying to do so without
putting my greasy hands on the ground. Once my hands were washed in the cold
river, I turned back to Balor. He crunched the last bone, his white muzzle
dirty with animal fat and other things I didn’t want to think about. As if he
could read my mind, Balor padded over next to me and lapped up some water,
effectively washing his face at the same time.

“Thanks,” I
said, earning a doggie head tilt. I needed to get out of here soon. No matter
how much Balor might understand, I really shouldn’t talk that much to a dog.
But I just couldn’t seem to help it; I needed to get out of my head once in a
while, and I had no one else to talk to now that Jacob had abandoned me.

“Okay, I know I
don’t really have powers here like I did back on Earth, but…” I held my breath
while I turned on the spot, looking for the exact right place to stand. “I can
remember a lot of spells and incantations, so I might be able to do this. And
like I keep telling everyone, the biggest part of magic is simply believing
it’ll work.”

I paced along
the river, watching the formation of the trees on either side. I decided to use
the water as a landmark as all water had magical properties, but moving water
was especially powerful. While I tossed and turned, trying to sleep, I had
turned over and rejected a hundred ideas. I finally realized that if I was in
the Outlands, then I was just in another part of the Faerie underworld. If I
could figure out how, I should be able to move from this plane into the Shide. Iris
said she owed me; well if she could help me stay earthbound and alive, then I
would call our debt square. And if I did this right, I could take Balor with
me.

I finally stopped
between two trees very close to the edge of the water. On the other side of the
river were two other trees equally spaced apart, like four points of a square.
“This is as a good a place as any, I guess. Balor, come.” Balor trotted over to
me and sat when he reached my side, the top of his head coming almost up to my shoulder.
“Good boy,” I said, patting his head distractedly.

Glancing back
and forth across the water, I drew two parallel lines in the dirt between the
two trees on this side. I had to close my eyes and concentrate to remember the
shapes of the symbols I wanted to trace in-between the lines. As I drew, I kept
my intent focused on the idea of traveling to the Shide where Iris dwelled. I
had never tried anything like this before, but I knew keeping my intent clear
and focused was important if I had any hope of it working.