Spoiled Secrets (11 page)

Chapter 12

(Chase Mitchell)

(Peanut singing)

I love you, you love me.  We’re two peas in a pod because I’m his Peanut you see.  Chase loves me, I love Chase because he’s my big brooootherrr!

He takes me to the zoo to see Kinjy and takes me on picnics with him and Amber because he loves meeeee!  (Peanut laughing)

I love you, I love you, I love you Chase!  Do you love meeee? (Peanut laughing)

(Chase singing)

Why, oh why, does Peanut embarrass me?  I think it’s because I’m her big brother you see!  I take you to all the places you love because you’re the best sister and you bring out the best in meeeeeee! 

(Chase and Peanut laughing)

I love you, I love you, I love you Peanut!  Do you love meeee? 

(Chase and Peanut laughing)

***

              “Yesssss!  I love you
this much!”  Peanut stretches her arms wide apart.

              “Well, my arms are bigger than yours. I can reach farther than you and my heart is much bigger than yours.  With that being said, I love you double, triple… no, quadruple more than you love me. Does that answer your question about my love for you?”

              I do not get an answer right away.  I look in my rearview mirror to see what has my sister so tongue tied.  The image my mirror shows me, is of her strapped in her car seat nibbling her lower lip in deep thought.

              “What are you thinking about? “

              She catches her lip between her tiny teeth and gives me a sly smile.

              “Well, because you asked….I was thinking, just because I got little arms and a little heart, doesn’t mean I don’t love you more.  Because my little heart and my brain tells me that I love you more than the whole world.”

              How do you respond to that declaration of love?  I can’t!  I love her too much to correct her heartfelt statement.  My feelings for my sister surpasses the realm of feelings.  I’ll give her my last breath if she would simply ask it of me.  That’s love!

              “Peanut, I think your little heart, little arms and your
big
head that carries your brilliant brain, might be right!  You do love me more!”

              “Never doubt me again just cause I’m little, Chase!  I told you I love you and I do!”

              “Doubt –
Doubt
!  Peanut, what do you know about that word?”

              “I know about that word because I asked mommy.  That’s how I know what it means.  You know, I have been told many times that I am pretty smart for my age.  What do you think about that or, do you DOUBT my smartness?”

              I turn around to look at my sister.  I can’t help it, I laugh out loud at the sight before me. She’s sitting there with her tiny hands on her hips trying to give me attitude. 

              “Hey, I don’t doubt you at all.  Now, are you ready to get out of this stuffy car to set up the blankets for the picnic?”

              “Yes!”  Was her excited response.

              I watch as my sister skips to her own beat, while she drags our blankets behind her.  I walk slowly, there is no hurry. I enjoy seeing her so carefree, simply enjoying herself.

              “Chase, can I pick the spot for the blanket?”  She yells from across the field of lush grass.

              “Sure, make sure you pick a great spot.  Not in the sun!”

              “Okay!”

              I stop in my tracks to watch her first turn her head left then right.  She drops the blanket and takes off running to the right, then quickly do an about-face and runs left.  She stops and throws up her arms.  I stand rooted in place laughing at her indecision.

              “Having trouble finding a spot, Peanut?”  I yell in her direction.

              “Chase,” she whines my name. “I don’t know where to put the blanket.  I need your help.”

              “Peanut, I trust you; just pick an awesome spot for the picnic. Both of the places are great.”

              “I know! That’s why it’s so hard to pick.  Can you please tell me to put the blanket down somewhere?”

              “Okay, put the blanket down somewhere!”

              “Chase, don’t be mean to me!”

              “Why don’t you put the blanket in the middle of both spots?  That way, we will have the best of both spots.”

              “That’s a good idea.”

              She takes her time arranging and rearranging the blanket in the decided spot.  After she finally gets it the way she wants, she drops to her knees in the middle of the blanket and hits me with the most beautiful smile.  She spreads out her arms as if she is revealing a grand masterpiece.

              “You’ve done wonderful sweetheart.  You’ve picked an awesome spot for our picnic.”  Her smile, if possible gets bigger from my praise.

              I sit and stretch out my legs on the side of her.  It really is a beautiful spot on such a beautiful day.  It’s as if GOD himself came down to visit this earthly plain to grace us with this day, because he knows…  He knows this is the beginning of something beyond special for Amber and me. 

              “Chase, can I tell you something?” 

              “Love, you can tell me anything.  You know that, right?”  She nods her head.

              “Can I sit on your lap and talk to you because it’s important stuff that I need to say.  Its things that I can’t explain how I know, but I just know.”

              I open my arms and beckon her to come into her safe haven.  I decided long ago that she can always talk open about anything.  She’s special!  I refuse to dismiss her gifts and make her feel as if what she has to say doesn’t matter.  It scares her to know that the things that she “just knows”, comes to pass. 

              She straddles my lap facing me, her head hanging low.  She gently puts her tiny hand over my heart and looks up at me with troubled eyes.  Tears start to form in her big brown eyes. My heart seizes at the sight of her unshed tears.  I encircle her with my arms and press her head to my chest.

              “Sweetheart, you can tell me.” I whisper.

              “I’ll try to tell you; sometimes I don’t have the words to explain it right.”

              “Explain it however you can, okay?”  She nods her head, takes in air and blows it out in order to center herself.

              “You know how you love me and momma?”  I nod my head.  “You love Amber or you
are
going to love her like that, but more.  And, she is going to love you more too.  But, something is wrong.  Something is wrong with her.  Something bad is going to happen.”

              I hold my breath and close my eyes.  My heart starts racing.  I can’t hide the affect her words have on me; no matter how hard I try to calm my outer appearance.   She stills, while pressed against my chest.  I feel her little hand trying to squeeze in the miniscule space between our bodies, in the effort to reach the outer cage of my heart.  Her hand that’s now positioned over my heart, grounds me.  She feels the effect and looks up at me with tears twinkling in her eyes.

              “Will she be okay?  Do you know what the bad thing is?”  The tears that she has gallantly held at bay, has begun to fall.  She shakes her head fervently. 

              “I don’t know. I don’t know, Chase! She will get hurt…bad.  She is going to tell you to leave her alone, but you need to leave, but not really leave.  Because she needs you even if she think she doesn’t.” 

              She takes a deep breath, and wipes her face with her tiny hands as she lays her head back on my chest.

              “Did I explain it right?”  I hug her fiercely.

              “You explained it just fine Peanut.  Thank you for telling me.  Look at me sweetheart.”  She turns her face up to me.

              “I don’t want you to worry about the bad things, okay?  If I’m supposed to love her so much, tell me one thing.  What do I do for the people I love?”  I roll her over and start to tickle her. I give her sweet pecks all over her face to lighten the mood.

              “YOU PROTECT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE BECAUSE YOU’RE STONG!!  YOU KICK BUTT!”  This is said through bouts of laughter.

              “That’s right, I protect what is mine and you, momma, and Amber are all mine.  Don’t you ever forget that twerp?”  I continue to tickle her.

              Time flies by as we wrestle on the blanket, I don’t notice her when she walks up to us.  Peanut notices her first, from her perch on my back as she pretends I’m her personal steed.

              “Amber!”  Peanut screeches and scrambles off my back.  She takes off running and launches herself into Amber’s outstretched arms.

              My cool points disappeared when she witnessed my act of, my little pony.  I’m not going to front and act all cool so; I roll over into a sitting position to take in the sight of her.  My breath catches as Neanderthal thoughts run through my head.

              MINE!

              I exhale, and with that breath I say a discreet prayer to the man above, asking him to give me the strength to protect what is mine, and to give me the ability to love her with every ounce of my soul.  When I feel a light breeze caress my skin, I know that my prayers have been heard.

Chapter 13

“VELCRO!  Here comes VELCRO!”  This was yelled at us with plenty of laughter.

              As Chase and I walk hand in hand to our lunch table to join my two most annoying friends, we look at each other and smile.

              “Would you please stop calling us that, we are not always together!”

              “What has it been, two - three months?”  Emily looks at Keisha for validation.

              “Yeah, three months of kissing, hugging and…”   Keisha was saying before she was rudely interrupted.

              To my horror Emily breaks out in a song that completely embarrasses the shit out of me.  Chase shakes his head and shows off his sexy-as-sin smile as he tugs my arm for me to sit down.  I sit and cover my face with my hands until Emily finishes her interpretation of R. Kelly.

R.Kelly. “Bump & Grind”
12-Play.
Jive, 1993.CD

“You know I can’t see nothing wrong with a little bump n grind baby.

This is goin on till the early morn

And my word bond so baby flex the thongs

I got what you want you got what I need

Homie lover friends is all I wanna be

It’s the pretty round brown driving me wild

Oooo child things are gonna get a little freakier

And I will have you singing like a mockingbird word

Don’t front you know about the rodeo show

So show me some id before I get in deep and to you I don’t see yeah

I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.”

              It’s no surprise that when she completes her song our fellow students are clapping, whistling, and yelling for her to complete the raunchy verse.  My girl can sing.  I fervently pray that she sits her ass down and stop embarrassing me. 

              The embarrassment doesn’t come from people thinking were fucking like rabbits.  Honestly, we have not had sex. Yes, we have officially been together for three months.  He has not asked or pressured me into anything.  I’m far from being a virgin in the biblical sense, but mentally he will be my first.  And, that means a lot to me. 
It means the world to me.
  I believe my embarrassment comes from me being unsure of myself. 

              Do I want him?  Hell, yes!  Do I crave his touches? Yes!  Do I crave his kisses? Yes!  I crave the intimacy more than anything.  The gentle touches, the brush of his finger across my cheek.  The mind blowing nibbles on my ear and on my neck.  The playful swats on my butt.  The way his arms cocoon me in his strength.  The quality time we spend together on our picnic dates, him, Peanut and myself.  The way he devours me with his possessive passionate glare.  A glare, that’s not intended to consume me whole and leave me bare.  Rather, a glare that without words tells me that, we are bound by something more than what GOD has given us eyes to see. 

              There are no questions about it, he is mine and I am his.  Yes, some might dismiss it as a fleeting teenage love affair.  But, I have found my soulmate.  How do I know?  Because, each word spoken from him to me or I to him, reaches the inner parts of me, the parts no one else can see.  Because we speak to each other’s souls, you see.  Each breath expelled, each caress, each gentle nibble, each kiss, and each hitch in his or my breath, its felt bone deep…that’s our souls speaking and acting out of pure necessity, from now until infinity. 

              He not only affects my outer covering, he has skillfully slithered beneath my skin.  He reaches deep, he searches the deepest darkest parts of me, to devour…to consume and to inevitably shine a loving light on my damaged spirit that lies within in fright.  His light brightens a once darkened tomb that was hidden out of sight, he’s my north star on many starless balmy nights.  He has stolen my soul and I have stolen his.  We are bound by much more than this loose fitting skin. 

              As I have said, he is mine and I’m surly his.  As I look up at him I let my face reflect the love I feel for him show.  He graces me with a smile of his own and kisses the tip of my nose.

              “So, Chase have you met the parents yet?”  Keisha asked.

              “Actually, I’m supposed to meet them today after school.  I’ve talked to Amber’s mom on the phone plenty of times.  She’s pretty cool.”

              “Hold on to your panties babe, you haven’t met the, “Dip Shit” yet!  Let me know tomorrow what you think of him.  Cool, is not the word I would use to describe that
Mother-Fucker
!”  Emily says.

              “Emily, please don’t scare Chase before he actually meet my father.  Yes, he can be a big asshole, but he is still my father.  Lord knows I’m pretty nervous about this meeting.”  That’s the biggest understatement.  This is going to be catastrophic. 

              “Chase, I heard that you have Amber’s mother’s number and everything.”  Said Keisha.

              “I’m not sure what you mean by everything, but I do have her number and she has mine.  She felt more comfortable if she had my contact information since I am dating her daughter and we spend so much time together.   It’s pretty cool to know that she is concerned who her daughter is hanging with.” 

              Chase positions me on his lap so that he can better see me and my girls.

              “Ladies, I do have something to ask you. Do any of you have plans for this weekend?”

              “NO!”  This was said in unison from all three of us.

              “My best friends who I have grown up with since I was little, will be coming to visit this weekend and we wanted to go to that new club on 5
th
street.  I wanted to know if you all want to join us.”

              “How many friends are you speaking of?” Inquired Emily.

              “Why does it matter how many friends Chase will have with him.  I’m just glad he asked if we wanted to go.  I’m in!  I’ll tell my parents that I will not be watching the kids this weekend.”

              “It matters a lot!  I need to know the number of eligible guys I can flirt with.  I need to know if anyone is in a relationship.  I need to know if they have a job.  I need to know if any of them are tall dark and handsome. 
I need to know if any of them likes to lick……..lollipops!
”  She winks her eye at us.

              “What does licking lollipops have to do with anything, Emily?”  I ask.

              “Because, if he has skills in licking lollipops, he would have skills in licking…”  I quickly interrupt her from finishing that sentence.

              “All licking aside.”  I give Emily a, shut the heck up stare.  “How many friends…” 

              “Keisha, I don’t think Amber has been licked if she’s asking about the fucking lollipops.  Who doesn’t know about lollipops? 
My GOD
, maybe we need to buy Chase a big bag of lickie, lickie, pussy pops.  That way he can practice and show her his lollipop skills.”

              “Maybe we can get him a bag of blow pops!  No, better yet, let’s buy him a bag of Tootsie Pops!”  My two friends are laughing hysterically.  “I meant Pussy Pops!  I wonder how many licks it will take, to get to the center of an Amber orgasm!!”  They continue to laugh at our expense. 

              I sit here with my jaw unhinged, I don’t believe they said that.  These girls have no freaking filter, at all.  Lollipops!  Licking!  Lickie-Lickie-Pussy Pops!  Who the hell comes up with this crap?

              “I don’t lick lollipops, those tricks are for kids.”

              “Well, you
Silly, Silly Rabbit
, it is my professional opinion that you
DO
need a lollipop.  A big mother-fucking-lollipop and plenty of licking practice, if your girl had to ask what does licking and lollipops have in common.”

              “Okay Emily, scratch what I said earlier, you’re not invited.”  Chase says.

              “Chase, honey, don’t get salty because you don’t know how to lick lollipops!”  Emily starts to laugh and Keisha joins her. They give each other high fives.

              “We’re just playing.  Don’t get mad!”  Keisha says to Chase.

              “Yeah, I was just playing! Don’t be a sour puss!

              Chase leans his forehead forward so that it’s resting in the center of my back.  I feel is head shaking from side to side.  I can imagine what’s going on in that gorgeous head of his.  He’s probably thinking that he doesn’t want his friends to meet my wacky, unpredictable, unfiltered, raunchy friends.  I must say, we are a handful some days.

              “Come on Chase, we’re sorry!  Please….Please can we come!”  They beg in unison. 

              “Fine! You two are relentless and Emily, I swear girl…you need a bar of soap for that filthy mouth of yours.  You better be glad I like Keisha more than you because if not, I sure as hell wouldn’t be inviting you after that entire lollipop shit!” 

              “Really, don’t play like you despise me.  But, then again, I am the girl others love to hate.  For the record, yes, I do have a very dirty…dirty… filthy mouth.  I’ve never gotten complaints for my unhygienic ways though.  Maybe it’s because I take my lessons very serious unlike you, who will not take a little walk on the wild side to lick a little bit of lollipop. Hell, you just might like it! There are methods to my madness.  I suck on Blow Pops all day, so that I can
Blow Pops
when I need a new pair of shoes or a particular outfit.”

              Emily reaches over and grabs her purse to withdraw a red Blow Pop.  Everyone at the table is staring at her, which feeds her shameless behavior.  She unwraps the Blow Pop and slowly brings it to her lips.  She starts to take long deliberately slow licks of the sucker/imaginary penis.  There is no doubt in my mind that she is trying her best to shock and awe everyone at the table.  I swivel in my man’s lap; I have to know if this blatant sexual lollipop molestation scene is affecting him in any way.  His face gives nothing away. 

              He’s facing forward watching the show blank faced. Honestly, what is this girl thinking?  I hear moaning and turn back to see Emily pushing the Blow Pop in and out of her mouth.  It’s not only the moaning, but the occasional slurping sounds along with the moaning that has Keisha and me looking at her in sheer amazement.  Granted, we are not shocked that she’s using the lollipop to demonstrate her sexual sucking skills.  We have seen it before, but for her to do it in front of others is disturbing on so many levels.  With an audible slurping popping sound, she withdrawals the Blow Pop from her mouth.

              “Mmmm, I just love cherry Blow Pops!  Delicious!”  She smiles wickedly at us.

              “You know Emily, I’m positive that demonstration was not for Keisha nor myself.  We’ve seen it plenty of times to count.  So, that leaves Chase.   Everything in me is telling me it was a joke.  But, the jealous bitch that lives inside me is pretty pissed that you preformed that sexual scene in front of my man.   Yeah, I know you don’t want my man.  Yeah, I know you don’t take seconds.  Lord….friend to friend and I’m keeping it real.  If you direct anything sexual his way again, I will skull drag your ass.  You’re dangerously close to toeing a line your ass don’t want to cross.”

              Chase snakes his arms around my waist and pulls my back into his chest.  He places several tender kisses on the side of my neck.  Is this him trying to calm the raging beast that resides in me?  Well, there is no need, I’m not that pissed at my girl!  I was just pointing out the obvious.  I know Emily like the back of my hand and as I said, I know she wasn’t trying to come on to him.  More than anything she was trying to prove a point.  What point?  Fuck, your guess is as good as mine.  My job as her friend is to give her fair warning, that if she attempts shit like this in the near future, she’s taking her safety in her own hands.  This whole relationship thing, I
really
don’t have a handle on it yet. 

              Lately, anything will set me off when it comes to Chase.  I have never before felt this level of jealousy, sometimes I don’t feel like myself at all.  Like I said, I have given her fair warning….friend to friend.  She might catch me on a bad day and say the wrong thing, there is no telling what I’m capable of doing.  Skull dragging her ass is a huge possibility. 

              “Noted!  No Blow Pop sucking in front of Chase!  In your own words, “YOU WILL SKULL DRAG MY ASS!”  Due to the fact that I’m so pretty, I would seriously like to object to that form of ass kicking. Anything that hints on destroying this pretty, pretty, package of perfection is out of the question.  Keisha, write this down, please. 
I Emily, of sound mind, beautiful smile, and perfect body, will not be sucking on Blow Pops, eating bananas or eating any other type of food that resembles a man’s glorious long, dong, slong in front of Chase.  Because she…her…me, does not want her girl mad or attempting to kick my ass!
I was just trying to prove a point, that my licking and glorious sucking skills were more superior.  And, with a little more practice, he as in Chase, could actually be great at licking your….lollipop!  O-M-G, get mad at a bitch for trying to help you out!  Lesson learned; leave Amber and her non-pussy licking boy toy alone!”  This is said in a valley girl tone of voice.

              Okay, this is why she is my girl.  This is why our disagreements do not get physical.  How can you get mad at this crazy girl?  Keisha and I burst out laughing at the same time.  I even feel Chase silently chuckling behind me.  As we stand to leave the lunchroom, Chase throws his parting words which silences my hysterical laughter and has Emily and Keisha giving me the wicked eye.

              “As I stated before tricks are for kids.  When your girl gives me the green light I’ll not need, lickie-lickie-pussy pops, blow pops or anything else.  I’m a fucking pussy connoisseur.  I’ll need no road map or tricks to show me the way to her holy grail.  I’ll devour her whole.  The thing is, when that day comes you’ll never know.  She will not utter one word of our love making because to vocalize one word means sharing me in some way.  Believe me when I say, we are both too territorial to share in that way.  So, in the future don’t try to prod me or Amber into telling you details of our intimate moments because we’re not sharing. Just believe, your girl is in excellent hands.”