Standing in the Rainbow (49 page)

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Authors: Fannie Flagg

Tags: #Fiction:Humor

BOOK: Standing in the Rainbow
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A month later, after attending a rather strange and ambiguous memorial service for Hamm and the four men, it hit her that most likely Hamm was
not
coming back. And she wanted to die. Had it not been for her two boys, she might have. Hamm Jr., who had adored his father, was taking his loss particularly hard and he needed her.

As the widow of such a powerful man, Betty Raye had at least received the nation’s sympathy and support but Vita Green had suffered through the entire thing alone and silent, waiting, like Betty Raye, for some word. But unlike Betty Raye, having a sense of how dangerous politics could be and how reckless Hamm had become, she had been halfway expecting something like this to happen. Expected or not, it was devastating for her.

Out of respect for his family, she did not attend the memorial service but stayed home and held her own very private wake. The people who knew about her relationship with Hamm tried to be helpful, but as Betty Raye had learned, nothing
could
help except, maybe, time.

Time and patience were two things that Jake Spurling had plenty of. An unattractive man with red pockmarked skin, Jake was as dedicated to solving missing-persons cases as most men were to their families.

Even though there had been a memorial service, none of the bodies had been found; as far as he was concerned, this case was far from over. Jake Spurling was one of the best criminal investigators in the country and he vowed he would never give up on the Hamm Sparks disappearance until he got to the bottom of it. And who had been behind it. Jake was known far and wide as a man who, once he had a case, was like a dog with a bone. He would root and dig for information no matter how long it took, or where he had to go to find it. To Jake this was
the
case of a lifetime.

Aunt Elner Goes Postal

 

L
UTHER
G
RIGGS
, the bully who used to beat up Bobby Smith, lived in a trailer park behind the post office and had a son as mean as his daddy had been at that age. Over the years Aunt Elner had had a series of orange cats that she always named Sonny. That morning Luther Griggs Jr. had thrown a rock at Aunt Elner’s present cat named Sonny and had hit him in the head.

At a quarter to twelve that night Aunt Elner called her niece with the news.

“Norma, I’ve killed the Griggs boy.”

“What?”

“I’ve killed the Griggs boy, murdered him in cold blood. I didn’t mean to but there you have it. Tell Macky to go on and call the police.”

“Aunt Elner, what
are
you talking about?”

“I’ve killed him, poisoned him, he’s probably lying over there dead and they’re gonna trace the fudge back to me sooner or later, so I might as well give up and get it over with. I’ve tried to live a good life all these years and here I’ve wound up a cold-blooded killer.”

“Aunt Elner, listen to me. You stay right where you are and don’t do a thing, do you hear me?”

Norma went into the bedroom and shook him. “Macky, wake up!” He stirred a little. . . . “Macky, wake up. We have to go over to Aunt Elner’s.”

“What’s the matter? Is she sick?”

“Get your clothes on . . . she says she killed the Griggs boy.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, Macky. She’s hysterical. She said she poisoned him. Just get dressed before she calls the police.”

Macky put his pants on over his pajamas, Norma grabbed her coat, and by the time they got there, Elner was out on the porch waiting for them, wringing her hands.

“I know I’ve disgraced the family,” she said. “I don’t know what caused me to do such a thing.”

Macky led her back into the house. “Aunt Elner, just sit down and tell us what’s going on.”

Elner was distraught. “It’s gonna be in all the papers; do you think they will handcuff me? Poor old Sonny has a hole in his head and now his owner is going to jail or maybe to the electric chair.”

Macky said, “Aunt Elner, now, just calm down. What happened?”

“I must have gone insane. Maybe I can plead insanity—do you think so?”

“What did you do?”

“Well, I wanted to get back at him for hitting Sonny. I knew I couldn’t catch him, so I tried to figure out a way to get him up on the porch and take a good whack at him. I made up some fudge to get him over here.” She looked stricken. “Oh, I just should have stopped there. But I had a whole bunch of old chocolate Ex-Lax, so I just melted it up and threw it in.”

“Is that all?”

“A little dab of Mennen’s underarm deodorant.”

“Just that?”

“No.”

“What else?”

“A half cup of oven cleaner. Polident tooth powder . . . I sprinkled a little on the top . . . it looked kinda like sugar.”

Norma couldn’t contain herself. “Oh my God.”

“Hold on, Norma,” Macky said. He asked in a calm voice, “Is that all, Aunt Elner?”

Norma looked at him like he was crazy. “Is that all? . . . That’s enough to kill an entire family right there!”

Aunt Elner said, “I never thought of that. Do you reckon he may have taken that candy home? I may have killed them all. They may all be laying up in the trailer park dead.” She threw her hands up in the air. “Now I’m a mass murderer.”

Macky said, “Aunt Elner, now slow down. Start from the beginning. Tell me everything that happened.”

“I made the candy . . . and waited till I saw him skulking around in the backyard. Then I called him over and said, ‘Come here, little boy, I’ve got some nice candy for you.’ I just meant for him to have one bite and then I was gonna try and grab for him but before I had a chance to do anything he snatched most all of the candy off the plate and took off before I could get at him.”

“When did this happen?”

“This morning.”

Norma said, “Why did you wait so long to tell us?”

Aunt Elner shook her head. “I guess when you do a thing like that the criminal mind just takes over. I thought I might get away with it. I should have come clean from the start. And now I’ve killed the whole Griggs family.”

“Oh my God,” Norma said. “Shouldn’t we call a good lawyer, Macky? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do at a time like this?”

“We are not going to call anybody. I am sure he is fine.”

“Macky, we can’t guess about something like this. We’re looking at a murder charge. You go over there right now and look at that boy. We may all have to go on the lam.”

“For God’s sake, all right, but this is stupid.”

“Macky—promise me you won’t come back until you have seen that boy walking and talking.”

“All right, all right.”

The door opened and Luther Griggs peered out first, and then opened the door wider, shotgun in hand. “What the hell do you want this time of night?”

“Are you all right?”

“Hell, yes. . . . Are you?”

“Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”

As Macky stepped into the trailer, which stank of beer and cigarettes, he looked closely at Luther to see if he looked sick but Luther Griggs had never been a picture of health, so it was hard to tell.

“I’m sorry to come over this late but we might have a little problem. Is your boy home?”

“What’s he supposed to have done now?”

“Nothing. It’s just that he may have been given some bad candy and he might need to have a doctor look at him.”

By this time Mrs. Griggs, in a ratty pink chenille robe with maroon flowers, had come into the room frowning. “What’s he done now?”

“Nothing, Mrs. Griggs, I just need to see him for a moment. If you don’t mind.”

“What for?”

“It’s a long story. But my aunt might have given him some bad fudge this morning and we just need to make sure he’s all right.”

She did not move but yelled, “Get in here this minute, you hear me . . . right now!” After a moment, Mrs. Griggs whipped around and flew into the bedroom. “I said get up! Now!”

Soon Mrs. Griggs reappeared, dragging the boy by the ears, with him kicking at her the whole time.

Macky said, “My aunt says you took a couple of handfuls of some candy she offered to you. . . . Is that right?”

“She’s a damn liar . . . I never took no damn fudge,” the boy said.

“She’s not accusing you of stealing. She—”

“Well, she’s a crazy damn old fool. I never took no candy.”

Luther Griggs got all puffed up. “You heard my boy, he never took no damn candy. You calling my boy a liar?”

“No. I’m not. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t sick. The candy might not have been . . . uh, not made with the right ingredients.” Macky looked closely at the little boy. “Are you sure you feel all right, son? That candy didn’t make you sick?”

“I never took no candy.”

“Well, all right then, as long as you are all right. But if you do feel sick, call me. . . . Here’s my number.” He wrote it down for them.

In truth, Luther Jr. had grabbed the candy but when he took one bite it was so bad he spit it out and threw the rest over the Whatleys’ fence.

Macky walked in the door at Aunt Elner’s and winked at Norma.

“Well, Aunt Elner, I’ve got bad news for you. They’re still alive. Too bad. You might have gotten a medal from the town if you had wiped them all out.”

Norma said, “I’m glad you can joke about it. We came very close to having Aunt Elner wind up in the state penitentiary. Wouldn’t that have been nice for Linda, having her great-aunt sitting up on Death Row.”

Macky laughed.

Norma looked at him. “Laugh if you want, Macky, but she would never have gotten into a decent sorority!”

The Meeting

 

I
T WAS SOME TIME
after the memorial before Betty Raye could get up the nerve to do something she had wanted to do for a long time. She asked State Trooper Ralph Childress to let her out a half block away and when she reached the front of the building in Kansas City a uniformed doorman tipped his hat saying, “May I help you, ma’am?”

She fumbled around in her purse. “Uh, I’m here to see Mrs. Vita Green?”

“Yes, ma’am. Who shall I say is calling?”

Betty Raye, who was wearing a scarf and sunglasses, panicked. She had not realized she would be announced. She almost turned around and left but she figured she had come this far, she might as well come out with it. She said almost inaudibly, “Tell her it’s Mrs. Sparks.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pushed a button. “Mrs. Green, I have a Mrs. Sparks here to see you.”

There was a pause.

He repeated the name “Mrs. Sparks” and there was another long interval. Betty Raye’s heart was pounding so hard she wanted to run. After a moment, he hung up and said, “Go right in. Take the elevator up to fourteen, get off, and take a left up the stairs. Turn right and you will see 15A.”

“Thank you,” she said and got in the elevator and almost threw up.

Vita was caught a little off guard by this unexpected visit. Her first thought was to say that she was not home. But she might as well get this over with, so why not today? She had no idea why the woman was here but she guessed that whatever the reason, it was not going to be a pleasant one. She called out to her maid, who was in the kitchen. “Bridget, answer the door and tell the lady I’ll be right out.” She went to her bedroom to get some clothes on. After all this time it was still hard to even get up and get dressed.

When Betty Raye got off the elevator, she walked up the stairs. When she reached the door she pushed the buzzer to the apartment and the noise made her jump. After a moment the door opened and Bridget was prepared to say, as she had a hundred times, “Please come right in and have a seat. Mrs. Green will be with you shortly,” but when she recognized Betty Raye from the pictures she had seen of her in the papers all she could do was to drop her mouth open and stare. Betty Raye was surprised as well; she had steeled herself, expecting Vita Green to be standing on the other side of the door. Finally she asked, “Is this Mrs. Green’s apartment?”

Bridget managed a “Yes, ma’am.”

“Is she in?”

“I’ll go see.”

She ran and threw open the bedroom door white as a ghost, her eyes wide with fright. “The archbishop’s wife is here. She’s at the door right now. What do you want me to do? Are you here?”

Vita was sitting at her dressing table, calmly putting on her lipstick. “It’s all right, I’ll handle it.”

“I can tell her you just left town.”

“No, but if you hear a gunshot call the police.”

“Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Bridget said.

Vita smiled and patted her hand. “Just kidding,” she said but thought to herself, I hope, and walked out to greet Betty Raye, who was still standing at the door.

Vita was as smooth as silk and acted as if she were saying hello to just another acquaintance and not the wife of the man who had been the love of her life. “Governor Sparks, I’m sorry you had to wait but I was not dressed. Won’t you come in?”

Betty Raye’s knees were weak as she stepped into the living room. The entire apartment had a faint scent of Shalimar perfume, a familiar smell. Hamm always had the aroma on him.

“Have a seat, Governor. May I offer you coffee, tea?”

“Oh no, thank you. Just a glass of water, if you don’t mind.”

“Certainly. Bridget, would you please bring Governor Sparks a glass of water.”

After they sat, Vita said, “I’m sure you know how sorry I am and all of us on the arts council are for your loss.”

Betty Raye nodded. “Oh yes, and I appreciated your note and flowers.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

Betty looked around. “You have a beautiful apartment.”

“Thank you.” This was the first time the two women had seen each other since their brief meeting a few years ago, and Betty Raye found that she still felt like an awkward schoolgirl around Vita. Vita, now sitting across from her, wearing earrings made of two huge chunks of lime green crystal stones the same color as her eyes, was still one of the most glamorous women she had ever seen.

Vita was doing some observing of her own. She had seen plenty of pictures of Betty Raye, of course, and there were those few hurried seconds when they had met at the Wheeler party, but now that she had a chance to study her up close, it was a different thing. She saw a woman with nice enough features, nothing outstanding, but there was something about her eyes she had not noticed before. And she sat there wondering what it was. Her hands were long and graceful, her mouth generous in a way that saved a too thin face, but it was still her eyes that had caught Vita off guard again. She had not expected that.

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