Star (22 page)

“Wait a few years, Mr. Hill. Your star is yet to rise.”

“Perhaps … but I sense other possibilities on the horizon.” He turned over and made love to her again, and as always, it was satisfying, physically if not otherwise, and sometimes that made him feel guilty. He felt like a bastard sleeping with her, and not being in love with her. Something told him he should have been, but he just wasn’t. He was in lust with her, he told himself, and maybe that was good enough, for the moment.

“Now, what about Tahoe?” she reminded him again as she lit a cigarette. “Come out for a week, two if you can manage it. My father will be thrilled to see you.”

“I’m not sure he’d be so thrilled if he could see us now.”

“No,” she smiled as she blew smoke in his direction, “you’re right. But Daddy is very old-fashioned.”

“How quaint of him.” Spencer grinned. She was amazing.

“And so are you.”

“Am I? Old-fashioned?” He seemed surprised. “What makes you say that?”

“I always get the feeling you’re waiting for bolts of lightning to come down from the sky before you decide it’s right. As far as I’m concerned, Mr. Hill, this is good enough. That’s all you get in this world, you know, companionship, a good screw, good friends, a job you like. You don’t have to wait for violins and harps and voices of angels. That’s not what life is all about.” But the trouble was he still believed it was, and she didn’t.

“Maybe you’re right.” He ran a gentle hand along the inside of her thigh, but he still wasn’t convinced. He still believed in harps and violins and thunder and lightning. She knew him well, and that was comforting. But from time to time he was still haunted by the child he had last seen two years before, sitting on a swing in a blue dress, looking at him as though she was imprinting him on her heart forever. He still remembered the color of her eyes, the feel of her skin when he touched her hand. But he also knew that was crazy.

Elizabeth was looking carefully at him, and he nervously wondered if she could read his mind. “Spencer, my darling, you’re terrific in bed, but you’re also a dreamer.”

“Should I thank you for the first, and apologize for the latter?” It still bothered him sometimes that she was so blunt. With Elizabeth there was no poetry, no magic, only hard facts. Maybe she should have been a lawyer.

“Don’t apologize, just come to Lake Tahoe.”

“If I do, your parents will think we’re getting engaged.” That worried him too. Elizabeth Barclay wasn’t the kind of girl one played around with.

“I’ll handle that.”

“What’ll you tell them?”

“That you had business in San Francisco and I invited you to the lake. How does that sound to you?”

“Passable, except your father is smarter than that, isn’t he?”

“Yes, but so am I. I won’t give anything away. I promise.”

He didn’t want to compromise her, but more than that, he didn’t want to compromise himself. But as he thought about it while they dressed, he realized that if he went, he could stop off at the Alexander Valley and visit the Websters. And maybe see Crystal again. The thought crossed his mind, and just as quickly he repressed it.

“I’ll think about it,” he told her as he watched her dry herself off after a shower.

“Good. I’ll tell Mother you’re coming. How about August?”

“Elizabeth! I told you I’d think about it!” But she only smiled, and he laughed. She was incredible. She had the subtlety of a cement mixer, but he had to admit she had great legs, as he watched her put her stockings on, and lost control of himself again. It was four o’clock that morning before he took her back to her brother’s apartment. And he was exhausted when he kissed her good night and promised to call her.

Spencer sat on the plane staring out the window, on the trip to California. He had agreed to go, finally, after several phone calls from Elizabeth in San Francisco. She insisted that it would be fun, and both her brothers and several of their friends would be there. And it wasn’t that Spencer didn’t want to go, it was more that he was afraid of what he’d do when he got there. For several months he had felt her subtly swaying him, convincing him subliminally of what she’d said in Palm Beach after Christmas, that they made a good team, and life didn’t have much more than that to offer. He still wasn’t totally convinced, but he had to admit they had a great time in bed, and there were damn few women as bright as she was. He had made a point of going out with everyone he could, as though to prove to himself that there was no one better out there. And he never heard the music and poetry that he dreamed of. The thunder and lightning, as she called it. But all he found were women who bored him to death, didn’t know what he was talking about half the time and
thought that Napoleon was only a dessert. He was sick of all of them, none of them had her fire, and there was something flattering about a girl who wanted him as badly as she did. After almost a year of dating her, he had to admit that she never bored him. But he had promised himself not to do anything crazy in California. He had only been able to get away for a week, and he still wanted to go to Booneville to see Boyd and Hiroko … and maybe … just maybe … he’d run into Crystal. He knew she was eighteen by now, and he wondered how much she had changed in two years, if she was still as beautiful as she had been, as magical and rare. He still remembered the way she had looked at him, and it made his stomach flutter a little each time he thought of her. He knew that Elizabeth would have laughed at him if he’d told her. And compared to Elizabeth, Crystal had been a child and still was undoubtedly. But by now, she would be more grown up. And he wished he could see her again, although in some ways it was hard to imagine.

When the plane landed in San Francisco, he planned to rent a car and drive straight to the lake. She had told him it was a six-hour drive, but he didn’t want to waste any time staying in the city. With only six days, he wanted to get there as quickly as he could. And as he walked into the airport, he hurried toward the car rental desk, and started when he heard a familiar voice just behind him.

“Want to hitch a ride?” He turned, and she was smiling at him. She was wearing white slacks and a red sweater with the string of pearls she always wore, her shining auburn hair perfectly groomed beneath a little straw hat, and she was wearing the tiny diamond earrings that had been a gift from her mother. Elizabeth had come to meet him at the airport, and he was touched. She had style, and he liked that about her too. But then, suddenly, he was annoyed at himself. He was always taking stock,
as though checking her liabilities against her assets. It was all so rational, which was so unlike him. All his life he had been a romantic. But with Elizabeth, there was never room for that. It just wasn’t what mattered.

“What are you doing here?” he asked awkwardly, but it was obvious as he kissed her.

“I came to pick you up. I figured you’d be too tired to drive. How was the flight?” Not “I missed you … I love you” … but she was there at least, and that meant something.

“Thank you for coming, Elizabeth.” He looked down at her with gentle eyes, the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean. “That’s a long ride for you, isn’t it?”

“I stayed in the city last night.” She was always practical and well organized, it was one of the things about her that he admired most.

They walked briskly to the baggage claim hand in hand, and she teased him for bringing a briefcase.

“It gave me something to do on the flight.”

“Too bad you didn’t fly out with me, I could have found something for you to do.” He liked that about her, too, she was, in the vernacular, a hot little number. “Did you bring your golf clubs, by the way?”

“No. Just my tennis racket.” He had stashed it in the suitcase with his clothes.

“That’s okay. My brothers can lend you theirs.” In truth, he hated golf, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. All the men in her family played golf. “We’ve planned a pack trip too, and my mother is absolutely insisting on a barn dance and a hayride.”

“Sounds like fun. Kind of like going to summer camp. Do I get a T-shirt with my name tag sewed on, a Boy Scout knife and a mess kit?”

“Oh shut up.” She kissed him on the neck, and with his bag in hand, he followed her to the car she had left
outside. It was a brand-new Chevrolet station wagon with wooden sides, which they were going to keep at the lake for their summer vacations. She gave him all the news of her family, and reported that Ian and Sarah had arrived the day before. They were in high spirits, and after two weeks at the lake, they were going to Europe to visit Sarah’s parents at their castle in Scotland. It was their summer home, and Elizabeth made it sound almost cozy. It was a very grand life, and Spencer offered to drive, as he swung his suitcase into the car.

“You’re sure you’re not too tired?” She looked as though she cared, and he smiled at her, suddenly glad he had come, in spite of all his misgivings.

But he was in no way prepared for the grandeur of their summer home. It was a huge stone mansion, with impeccably kept grounds, and half a dozen “cabins” for guests. The so-called cabins were bigger than most people’s houses. They arrived after midnight, but the butler had waited up for them with hot chocolate and sandwiches which Spencer devoured, and a little while later Ian and Sarah walked in, with Elizabeth’s older brother, Greg. They were all in high spirits after a midnight swim in the lake, which Sarah assured him was absolutely freezing. They were going to go fishing the next day, and they invited Spencer to join them.

It was an easy, happy life, filled with laughter and interesting people. Guests arrived from San Francisco, and there were sumptuous dinners every night, as the whole group converged on the enormous dining room and sat together at the long table. Elizabeth looked beautiful in the candlelight, and Spencer enjoyed several long talks with her father. He even played golf with him, and apologized profusely for how bad his game was. But Justice Barclay didn’t seem to mind, he enjoyed talking to him,
and thought his daughter had made a wise choice. He made it obvious to everyone how much he liked Spencer.

And Spencer was actually disappointed when the week came to an end. He had meant to leave a day earlier, but he didn’t want to go anywhere. He didn’t even want to go back to New York and the law firm.

“Why don’t you ask them for another week off?” Elizabeth suggested as they lay in their boat, basking in the warm sunshine. But Spencer laughed as he looked at her. For all her intelligence, she seemed to think that everyone was as important as her father.

“I don’t think they’d be too pleased.”

“I hate to see you leave.” She said it quietly, and for an odd moment, she looked at him sadly. “It’s going to be lonely without you.”

“Surrounded by your family and ten thousand friends? Don’t be silly, Liz.” But he had to admit he was going to miss her too. He had even given up his plan to visit the Websters in the Alexander Valley. There just wasn’t time, and it was so pleasant being with all of them. So pleasant that he was beginning to think that he loved her. “When are you coming back to New York?” They had been sneaking into each other’s rooms in the main house, and suddenly the thought of another month without her depressed him.

“After Labor Day. And then I have to go back to goddamn school.” She rolled over on her stomach and looked at him mournfully. They were in one of the Barclays’ two speedboats.

“You make it sound like jail.” He laughed softly and she smiled, and touched his lips with gentle fingers.

“Isn’t it? Without you it feels like it sometimes.” He suddenly wished she would be in New York. He now knew that he wanted to be with her. He looked at her strangely then, and wondered if the lightning had finally
struck. He sat listening to his own inner voices, wondered if there was going to be thunder too. “What were you thinking just then?” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, worried at what was on his mind. He was always so elusive.

“I was thinking how much I’m going to miss you.” Lake Tahoe had finally done it to him, it was the most beautiful place he’d ever seen, with the tall pines, and the vast lakes, and the beautiful mountains beyond. Everything was so easy here, so healthy and natural and happy. He loved places like that, and he wished the week would never end as she looked at him with new tenderness. She liked the look in his eyes, and what he was saying.

“I’m going to miss you, too, Spence.” He smiled at the silly name, but it was no sillier than “Liz,” which didn’t really suit her.

And then, without a word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He looked startled when he finally pulled away and told her what she’d waited to hear since the first time they’d met. “I think I’m in love with you.”

She smiled happily. “It certainly took you long enough.”

He laughed. “That’s a hell of a thing to say. I finally realize I’m in love with you, and you complain that I should have done it sooner.”

“I was beginning to think I was going to be an old maid.”

“At twenty-one, I don’t think I’d really worry.” And then he realized what she had just said, and knew with certainty that he was going to have to do something about what he felt. He couldn’t keep her hanging on forever. It had been long enough, and he felt closer to her than he ever had before. It was the real thing, he told himself, she was a great girl, and just as she had said,
they could do great things together. “Will you marry me, Elizabeth?”