Starbound (16 page)

And I dreamed of spiders.

Chapter 16

Seth

I had no freaking idea how I got out of bed the next day and made it to school. It was all a big blur to me, until I saw Kat. She was waiting on the side of the brick building of Vermillion high, hugging a book.

She looked amazing. It might have been totally piggish of me to say, but she looked bangin’. The teal cardigan deepened the silvery blue in her eyes, and those damn jeans hugged every curve she possibly had. I literally salivated on sight, a testament to my lack of sleep.

Damn spiders.

Let it go on record, I hate spiders.

It was the way my body reacted that made me put an end to this. “Kats, we can’t keep doing this to each other. I know you are still processing, but I think it would be best if we kept our distance…for now.”

She bit her lip and tucked wild curls behind her ears. Those were her nervous habits, and they were such a damn turn on—so not helping my hands-off policy. My fingers were itching to dive into her silky hair. I stuffed them into the back pockets of my jeans, just in case they got any funny ideas.

“I know,” she said softly, her eyes directed on mine.

Then she caught me off guard. I never knew what she was going to do. She could have slapped me. She could have kicked me in the junk. Or she could have…

Stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips lightly to mine. They were as soft as July peaches in the height of summer. A surge of shock bolted through my system, and my hands automatically went to her hips, keeping her close to me. I marveled in the feeling of her body pressed against mine. When Kat kissed, she went full in, no holding back.

Unfortunately, she ended the kiss too soon. I wanted to devour her. Looking up at me, tears shone in her eyes. “I think I love you,” she murmured breathily against my lips.

The world disappeared around me like the eye of a storm. There was only her and me and those three words I never thought I would hear her say. Didn’t think I deserved to hear after all that I had put her through lately. And now that she had…I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t think. And I sure as hell couldn’t just let her walk away.

Not this time.

But while I was still trying to stable my pulse and gain control of my emotions, she stepped out of my arms. My fists clenched at my sides. “W-wait,” I said discombobulated.

“See you around, Seth,” she whispered and walked through the doors.

I was struck dumb. The sounds around me came swooping back in a rush of irritating noise. People were all around me, shoving, pushing, getting ready for classes, but I was drowning in the aftermath of a tsunami. I just stood there, feet planted, wondering what the hell had just happened.

Katia

The following days, we went about ignoring each other, pretending that nothing existed between us, trying to forget that last sweet kiss. It took a toll on both of us. There weren’t any steaming exchanges…What was the point? There weren’t any more heated fights…No fight was left. There weren’t any more snarky comments between passing periods...Why bother?

There was just a cloud of unbelievable sorrow that hung over our heads. And spiders. I don’t know what the deal was with the eight-legged-furry-skin-crawling creatures, but every time I closed my eyes at night, their beady black eyes were there to greet me. Or more like freak me out.

I went through the motions of school, cheer, and home without really knowing what I was doing. I was on autopilot. Honestly, I never felt more inhuman than those first few weeks, learning to deal.

It did not get easier with time. Whoever said that was bogus. Time had not healed my wounds or my heart. Maybe if I wasn’t forced to see Seth every day or if we didn’t live in the same town, it might have been different.

But I seriously doubted it.

Days turned to weeks. I had no freaking clue how or where we found the strength to continue day in and day out not together. No kissing. No touching. No hugging. I can’t tell you the number of times in a day I really needed to be in Seth’s arms. Some days it felt like only he could rid me of this violent emptiness that had settled inside me.

We both went through the motions of life, but neither of us was really living.

I didn’t know how Seth had gone years with the knowledge of what we were and kept away. He was a much stronger a person than I. It was hard to describe, and really, I don’t know why it had taken me so long to acknowledge the feelings I had for him. Why had I not admitted it sooner? Had I, and just pretended otherwise? Had my social climb and ambition to be popular masked those feelings?

It didn’t really matter now. I couldn’t change what had come to pass, but that undeniable attraction pulled me daily, as if the curse was working against us, teasing us to take the bait and give in to what we desired. Normally finding your starsoul was a treasured and rare gift. It was blissful, like walking in the clouds. A time of discovery, sharing magick with someone you loved, trusted, and honored. What made a starsoul different was the binding of souls, flesh, spirit, and love through magick. It was a ceremony of old charms and sacred vows shared by both. Nixies naturally want to share magick with those they love, and the starbound spell was probably as ancient as this curse.

To occupy my time I began to more than just dabble in oils and dried herbs. My craft and magick were the only things that kept me from going batshit crazy. I began to exercise the power that lay dormant in my veins, trying to figure out what made it tick, what made it surge, and what made it sing.

Setting aside the bowl, I looked through the bottles lining my dresser for the right oil to mix with the crushed rose petals. My room was the one place lately that I felt any peace. Frowning, I plucked up two oils, trying to decide between them. Moonglow or mandarin?

I heard a creak behind me as I put the last droplet of ingredients into the glass bottle. Looking over my shoulder, Collins was leaning in the doorway, watching me. “You’ve gotten better. It doesn’t smell like crap on a stick.”

I rolled my eyes. “Here, try this.” I dabbed a drop of my newest concoction on each of her wrists.

She lifted her wrists and sniffed cautiously. “Hmm. This is really pretty. It’s light and floral with just a hint of…mandarin?”

I nodded, pleased with her detection.

Smiling, she walked into my room and plopped herself on my bed. Blonde curls like mine spilled out of her ponytail. “So are you going to tell me what is going on?”

For someone who was only eleven, she was awfully perceptive. It was annoying. “I’m not sure that I should. And I am guessing you probably already know half of it.”

“Well, Mya and I have been comparing notes. We heard something about a curse, which we assume involves you and Seth.” Lines of worry ceased her heart-shaped face.

Putting down the glass bottle, I sat beside her on the bed. “It’s not a big deal. Seth and I have come to an understanding. We aren’t going to let anything happen to either of us.”

“So you really are…cursed?”

I twiddled my fingers in my lap. “Afraid so. It’s complicated.” She gave me her “I’m not a baby” glare
.
I sighed and gave her the gist of the curse that plagued me.

She tucked her legs underneath her. “Wow. That is some serious pile of poop.”

I couldn’t have summed it up better. The corner of my mouth curved. “Tell me about it.” Leave it to Collins to put it all in perspective for me. She might be a pain in my ass, but I loved her, probably like most big sisters.

And somehow through this tragedy, we grew closer. Before I was always too busy with boys, parties, and cheerleading to really spend any quality sister time with Collins. Now I made the time. Hanging out with her and Mya proved to be quite entertaining. They were so darn carefree, and they made so much trouble for themselves.

I lost count of the number of things those two set on fire, made disappear, or caused to explode. More than once I was sure the fire or police department would surround us, guns blazing. I don’t know how they got away with half the crap they did, and if our parents or even Seth’s found out, well their butts would be grass.

Collins was the only bright star in my otherwise gray world.

***

Then of course there was the college tour, and let me tell you, Claudia was more interested in dorm parties and frat boys than she was in the college itself and what it could possibly offer for our blossoming futures.

Go figure
.

I had completely forgotten about the weekend trip Claudia, Harper, and I had planned months ago to visit the University of South Dakota. Now it was too late to back out. The last thing I wanted to do was slap on my false smile and fake happiness, but then again, maybe it would be good for me. Who was I kidding? A weekend with Claudia and Harper on a college campus was a recipe for disaster.

However, I could use a retreat…a distraction.

I needed to get the hell out of Dodge—stat.

Away from Seth. Away from the daily reminders of all that I couldn’t have. Away from the enticement he tempted me with constantly.

A girl only had so much strength, and I wasn’t the kind of girl that was used to denying herself anything.

Good grief. I was arguing with myself, and it was making my head hurt.

They did have a stellar cheerleading squad, which was ultimately the only requirement Claudia cared about. It would give me a slice of what life was going to be like after high school. Once Seth left for Europe, and I was stuck here. Alone. I needed to explore my options.

Well then, it was settled.
USD, here we come.

The three of us packed inside my Jetta—no easy feat. Three girls on an overnight stay, Claudia packed more makeup than clothes, Harper more shoes than Rodeo Drive, and well I packed more secrets than the CIA.

Mom stood on the porch waving us off, and Collins gave me a wink.

Oh Lord, I hope I come back in one piece.

Actually, I would have loved to come back refreshed, renewed, and restored. I wanted to put this love affliction I had for Seth behind me. Was that possible in just a weekend? God, I hoped so.

The University was actually in Vermillion, surrounded by beautiful countryside, not that any of us noticed. Claudia was too busy channel surfing and checking the silkiness of her long straight hair. Harper spent more than half the ride with her head in the front seat; heaven forbid she missed our riveting conversation about hot frat boys, being college roomies, and what color bra we were wearing.

There really wasn’t a need for an overnight campus visit, but Claudia insisted that we needed the full-on experience. If I hadn’t felt so off and down in the dumps lately, I would have opted out. But who the heck knew? Maybe a weekend with my besties was what the doctor ordered.

The college itself was a combination of old and new. Some of the buildings looked like they were built in the 1800’s, and then there were the more sophisticated structures made entirely of glass. It was overwhelming to think that next year I could be a student at this massive school.

“Girl’s, we have officially arrived,” Claudia announced as I parked the car. “Let’s go leave our stamp on college life and show these frat boys what they are in store for next year.”

Oh goodness
.

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” I grumbled, pulling my bag from the trunk.

“Katia, don’t be a debby downer. We are just getting started,” Claudia said, slapping my butt. Her dark hair was pulled into a high ponytail, swishing with her movements.

I jumped and scowled in her general direction.

“It will be a guaranteed riot,” Harper added, the sun glinting off her blonde highlights.

As if that was going to make this trip better.

We toured the campus, the classes, and the dorms, all while Claudia was making snide comments under her breath. She could be such a monster when she wanted to be. Harper and I exchanged glances of exasperation. There was no fun in anything I did anymore. Once Claudia’s antics had been humorous and exciting. Now I found them immature and insensitive.

Eyes brimming with mischief, Claudia grinned at Harper and me. “Alright, ladies. Let’s make this a night these boys will never forget.”

I rolled my eyes.

My dress was too tight. My mascara was clumpy. And my feet were already killing me. If I never wore another pair of uncomfortable heels again, it would be a godsend.

Trailing in Claudia’s shadow, Harper and I followed her inside the Sigma Omega house. There were large Greek letters decorating the outside and inside of the house. Had the music not been blaring, had there not been some drunken guy bumping into me, who then tried to grind on me, I just might have appreciated the beauty of the fraternity.

At another time I would have been all over the sorority life. Kinship. Sisterhood. Socializing. Those were all things that had been important to me, but now…none of it held the same importance. I wanted different things from life. My craft, family, love.

Drunk Guy gave me a lopsided grin, sloshing his beer over the rim of his cup. He had a dopy cuteness about him. Wavy brown hair, soft chocolate eyes…and then he belched
hello
.

Gross.

I shoved Swivel Hips off me and went in search of a quiet corner where I could disappear.

Twirling the red solo cup in my hand, I nibbled on my lip, wishing I was with Seth. My party days were behind me. I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting to him, wondering for the zillionth time what he was doing at this exact moment. Was he as lonely as I was? Did he think of me? Maybe he was with Zeke, or worse, Elena.

The thought brought tight pangs to my chest. Picturing Seth with Elena immediately filled me with white-hot jealousy. I downed the contents of my glass in an attempt to rid myself of the atrocious images.

I really wanted to see him, even if it was only for a minute. I would even settle for just hearing the sound of his silky voice.