Staying True - A Contemporary Romance Novel (25 page)

He smiled. “I’m tired right now.”

“Get some rest.” I rose and smoothed
his hair. “I’ll be back in a few days, and we’ll start on the next story.”

He closed his eyes, and I walked out
of his apartment.

Chapter Nineteen

Ruby

I never took my grampa back to the
pottery café.

I never read to him again.

I would never get to hear another one
of his stories.

I would never get to watch the silly
grin pop on his face as the wind brushed past his hand sticking out of the
window on our weekly trips to The Rafters.

My grampa, my role model, my saving
grace, fell asleep and never woke up again.

The moment I walked into his living
room and spotted him in his recliner, my heart clenched. His chest didn’t rise
or fall. His eyes didn’t flutter. His hands didn’t tremble.

A peaceful smile blanketed his face
and wrapped me in comfort.

I sat down on the couch beside the
recliner and cradled his hand with mine. I didn’t cry. I just rested in peace
alongside of him for a while, knowing that’s exactly what he would’ve wanted
from me.

* *

Later on that day, I returned to my
condo with some of his photo albums and boxes of personal belongings. I sat on
my bed and scanned over pictures of us through the years. He laughed and smiled
in all of them. He never let on to the loneliness he carried. He loved me. He
took me in his arms and led me through some of the strangest, funniest, and
most memorable paths in life.

I pulled out the shoebox. It
contained his expired driver’s license, some dental floss, a copy of his birth
certificate, an old
Time
magazine with a model T Ford on the cover.
Underneath all of this laid a picture of him and Nadia sitting on his couch.
She swept her arm around his shoulders. He smiled like he was the king of the
prom, proud to be showing off his pretty date. In the photo, the daily calendar
on his recliner’s end table read just two months prior.

My heart swelled.

I stared at it for a long time. She
adored my grampa. She hung onto his words the way a student hung onto a
favorite teacher’s. She asked him questions, involving him in conversation that
brought life to his eyes. I admired this most about Nadia.

They both wore relaxed, peaceful
smiles on their faces.

She needed him just as much as he
needed her.

A strange envy stirred. I witnessed
the true reflection of freedom in the lift on their cheeks and in the sparkles
that shined in their eyes. The true freedom for them was not the absence of
needing each other, but rather in needing each other.

I’d never get to sit and take a photo
like this one with him.

A lump formed in my throat.

Nadia was the only one who would know
just what to say to me to ease my pain.

I needed her.

I wanted her there with me, hugging
me, telling me all would be okay. I wanted her to nurture my broken heart. I
wanted her there with me looking through his things, helping me to remember him
in his greatest light.

I stared long and hard at the image of
them smiling, then picked up the phone and called her.

When I heard her delicate, soothing,
familiar voice call out my name, peace blanketed me and I fell into her virtual
embrace.

“Nadia,” I whispered.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, her
voice soft as a lullaby.

I folded over myself.

“Ruby?

I cried, whimpering in soft
successions.

“Why are you crying?” Panic edged on
her voice.

“Grampa died this morning.”

“Oh,” she moaned. “No.” Her cry
caught on, and she wailed into the phone along with me. We just cried. We
couldn’t stop. The cries grew louder and echoed each other. Her sorrow and pain
comforted me in a way too deep for words.

* *

The procession from the funeral home
to the church stretched for at least eighty cars. My heart swelled with pride as
we drove past the library that he cherished so much. Outside the library, his
friends—the children and their parents who shared his passion and love for
stories—created an honor guard that spread across the front lawn and spanned
down on either end of the sidewalk leading to the library’s parking lot
entrance. Nadia and Shawna sat with me in the limousine and wept along with me.

We celebrated his life in a Christian
funeral mass at our church. We sat in the front row in my grampa’s favorite
spot. Nadia held my hand and offered me tissues and comforted me through his
beloved church hymns.

Later, Shawna, Eloise, Rachel, and
Marcy joined me for a catered lunch at the pottery café where his closest
friends paid tribute to him by reading his stories aloud. Chuckles replaced
tears as friends shared fond memories of a man who lived to tell stories and
make people smile.

After the celebration of his life
ended, Nadia walked with me around the park across the street from the pottery
café. The sun shone, and the birds chirped in the trees above. We passed a
group of families picnicking on a series of checkered blankets, giggling and
enjoying life. The air smelled sweet and caressed me in nostalgia.

“You were right about me, you know,”
Nadia said, reaching for my hand. “I didn’t know I had it in me to stand up
without someone by my side. Since I separated from Jessica, I’ve gotten to know
myself so much better. Your grampa helped me a lot with that.”

I stopped walking and smoothed over
the top of her hand, circling my fingers over her soft skin. “Do you miss her?”

“The old version of me misses the old
version of her. It’s best that those girls are never coming back, because they
didn’t live lives where they brought out the best in anyone, not even
themselves.”

“And how is the ‘new you’? Are you
happy?” I asked.

“This, right here,” she said
tightening her hand in mine, “Is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Just
being around you makes me feel alive.”

I gazed into her loving eyes. “It’s
as if the air is easier to breathe.”

We both inhaled.

“Where’s your pilot girlfriend?”

I winced. “That didn’t end well. She
flew me to Block Island and refused to fly me back when I asked, because there
was this party she wanted to attend. So, I hopped a ferry instead.”

Relief washed over Nadia’s smooth
complexion. “I’m sorry that I called you incapable,” she whispered. “You’re far
from that.”

“You were right, though. I’m afraid
to get hurt. I don’t want to be anymore.”

“You don’t need to be.”

“I’m learning that.”

She swung our arms and cocked her
head.

“I’m so glad you called me.”

“I’m so glad you could be here for
me.”

“I love being there for you,” she
said. She opened her sweet smile to me, and I shed all of my fears right there
in that park when I leaned in and kissed her. Her lips sheltered me from all I
resisted and opened up a brand new path that sparkled with hope and radiated
love in its most rarest and precious of forms.

* *

My grampa left me with over one
hundred thousand dollars from the sale of The Rafters all those years ago. He
never spent it on himself. He left a note for me telling me to spoil myself
with it. All of this time I worried about paying him back five hundred dollars.
Even as an adult, he guided me to focus on what mattered in life, which had
nothing to do with money and everything to do with love of life. If he had
handed me the money earlier on in life, I never would’ve met Nadia or Shawna.

A reason existed for everything under
the sun.

As Nadia and I drove out to The
Rafters to pay one last homage to my grampa, I stared out at the trees whizzing
past us and mulled over what I’d do with all of that money.

I could rent a trendy beach condo. I
could open up my very own massage studio. Nadia and I could take a month long
vacation to Hawaii if we wanted. I could hire a maid service to clean my new
condo. I could buy a new car and rest my beloved Camaro so she stayed nice and
pristine for many years to come. I had so many choices; I didn’t know which to
choose.

“Thank you for coming with me,
darling.” I laid my hand on her wrist.

She raised my hand up to her lips and
kissed it. “I’m honored that you’d ask me to come with you. I know this is not
going to be easy.”

“It’s what he would’ve wanted.”

A few hours later, we stood on top of
the grassy field together. I held his ashes against my chest. “We used to race
down this hill together, and just when we’d get to the bottom, he’d let me roll
by him and win.”

Nadia wiped her eyes but the tears
still rolled down.

“This is where he’d want to be. Right
here.”

She braced her hand against my lower
back. “Go ahead. Let him fly.”

I opened the urn. The breeze took him
in her graces, giving him the air he needed to lift up and fly away.

We watched him dance in the air,
twirling along with the whispers of the wild and free energy that brought life
to the trees, to the hills, to the grass, to the butterflies, to the birds, to
all who breathed in its majestic power. We stood together and watched as he
blended with his favorite place on Earth. When he disappeared into the fields,
and I gasped, Nadia mended my soul with her loving embrace.

She held me for a long time as the
sun faded in and out behind the white, fluffy clouds. I felt at peace and as
one with the universe on top of that hillside.

This was home.

We spent the afternoon snuggled
together on top of that hill. Then, as the sun started to set over the tree
line, Nadia feathered my cheek with her lips. “Ruby, your grampa told me a
secret.”

“He doesn’t tell many people
secrets.”

“He left something for you here, in the
barn.”

I placed my hand on my heart. “He
did?” Fresh tears stung my cheeks.

“He feared you wouldn’t trust me
again, so he told me this secret in the hopes you would see he trusted me.”

I felt my grampa’s spirit all around
us, enveloping us in a truth so clearly defined for us in this moment. “He
always knew what was best for me.” I stared out over the backdrop of our hill,
the hill that defined me, and now would forever define us.

She cradled my arms and looked me in
the eye. “I love you, Ruby Clark.”

I kissed her with a new sense of
freedom, opening myself up to her, and letting her in to feel my vulnerability,
my tremble, and most of all, my love.

“Are you ready to see his secret?”
she asked, kissing the tip of my nose.

I nuzzled up against her. “More ready
than ever.”

She took my hand in hers and lifted
me up to my feet and led me down the hill, towards the barn. She led me over to
a granite piece and picked it up. Together we dropped to our knees and bowed
our heads. We held hands at this point and steadied our breathing. We stared
into each other’s eyes. Then, together, like a couple of mad women, we dug the
earth with our fingertips, scratching and tossing dirt aside until we reached
the plastic case.

I pulled it up and stared at it for a
few long seconds.

“Open it.”

I unlatched the top and smiled when I
saw the plastic horse. I pulled it out. “Oh my God. This was his favorite toy
as a kid.” I handed it to Nadia. She cradled it in her hands.

A note sat on top of the rest of the
items that read:
Dear Ruby, I got you to come back here, didn’t I?! This
place was magical and built us both into the people we’ve become. I am sad on
this day because I am leaving The Rafters behind, but it is time to move on for
me. This place just isn’t the same without you in it, my precious free bird.
Never forget this place, okay? Never forget the happiness that we shared. The
memories we created. The lives we affected through my (INGENIOUS) stories
(HAHA) and your sweet smile. May these tokens from our past years here together
bring you joy as you continue on to make this world a better place. Keep
smiling and living life to its fullest. I will love you always, your Grampa.
P.S. Thank you for filling my life with joy.

“Wow.” I stared at his messy
handwriting. “This man sure had a way with words.” I handed Nadia the note and
started pulling out the token items one by one.

I pulled out my favorite childhood
doll that he gave to me on my tenth birthday. Her red lips had faded to a soft
pink and her blonde hair still hung in its side ponytail. “He would sit this
doll on his lap while he read stories to his guests, because I worried she’d
miss out somehow if she wasn’t right next to him.”

Nadia took her and chuckled. “So
cute.”

The box overflowed with things that
brought back so many happy memories of dinners, walks, fishing trips,
birthdays, Christmases, and story times. My entire childhood sat on the floor
beside me, reminding me how great The Rafters was. It healed my broken
childhood heart. It grew a trusting bond between Grampa and me. It taught me
the value of friendship, of freedom, and now of love.