Steel & Ice (15 page)

I held up a finger to tell him to hold on a
second. I grabbed my phone out of my purse, stepped away, and
called Aaron. I knew he wasn’t working tonight and told me was
hanging out at home. I suspected there was more to the story, but
didn’t ask.

After one ring he picked up. “Are you OK?” I
could hear voices in the background. Yep, not just one voice, but a
couple. Hopefully he was sober enough to understand me.

“
I’m fine. I, uh...” Shit, I
was frozen. This was it. If the words on the tip of my tongue came
out, everything would change. My trajectory for the night would do
a one-eighty and there would be no going back. I stalled. I felt
the freak out coming on. I took a few deep breaths and counted as
high as I could. At that particular moment, the highest I managed
to count—was three.

“
Elle, you’re scaring me.
Are you all right?”

One, inhale. Two, exhale. Three, inhale. Aw,
fuck it. Exhale.

“
I’m going home with giant
hottie tonight and plan to come at least three times. Cover my
shift tomorrow?” I said it all in a rush, trying to get the words
out as quick as possible.

“
Fuck, Elle. I want you to
get laid. I really do. But I don’t want to cook fucking pancakes
all morning.”

I had an out. I could bail
on this half-assed plan and stay on the initial trajectory of the
night—go home alone. There were five Elle’s in my head, yelling at
me what to do.
Go home with J. No don’t.
You know you want this. But you might get hurt. You’ll survive.
Will you? Take a chance. Just take a chance.
Fuck it again. I braced myself for the words that came out
next.

“
Call Jesse. Tell him I got
caught up in a fight at Eight Oh Eight and got knocked around. Not
so bad that he freaks out and comes to check on me, but enough that
I need the day off. He can figure the fucking pancakes out, and you
know he’ll do it if you tell him it’s for me.” Fuck. I hated
playing the Jesse card, but I knew he would pick the shift up if
Aaron told him it was for me.

“
I gotcha girl. But you
better dish tomorrow night. I got some, uh, friends to get back to.
You owe me!”

“
Yes, I owe you and yes, you
better get back to your orgy,” I laughed. I thanked him and hung
up, cradling the phone to my chest for a moment.
Do or die time, Elle
I
thought.

I turned back around after shoving my phone
into my purse, and almost barreled into J’s chest. He’d been right
behind me for that whole phone call, hearing all I had said to
Aaron. When I looked at his face, the crooked smile I loved so much
told me he indeed had heard it all. He raised his eyebrows at me.
Fuck, but I loved those too! I grabbed him by his leather vest and
pulled him to me. “I like sausage, not bacon,” I told him, as I
slammed my lips against his. His hands were in my hair, messing it
up. Making it wilder than it already was. He wasn’t gentle nor
tender. We were both possessed. Like we’d been wandering the desert
the past week and had finally come upon water. I put my hands
inside the back of his shirt and clawed at his back. I couldn’t get
enough.

“
Ahem.” Chris. Shit. I
forgot where I was. I was fully prepared to fuck on the
bar!

I wiped the lip gloss off J’s lips and
presented him to Chris and whoever the fuck the guy hanging on her
was.

“
Uh, Chris, J. J,
Chris.”

“
Enchanté,” Chris said,
holding out her hand.

“
Et toi aussi,” J replied. I
had no idea what was going on.

“
This is,” Chris said,
looking at the guy beside her. He was tall, not as tall as J, but
taller than Chris and I by about an inch. And we had heels on. Not
bad looking. Maybe half black half white. Nice ass. I imagined
putting a cup on it.

“
Devon,” nice ass guy said,
reaching his hand out.

“
This is Devon,” Chris
replied cordially, as if she hadn’t just forgotten his name. A
round of handshakes and nice to meet you’s occurred.

“
You guys want a round?” J
asked.

“
Of course!” Chris
exclaimed. J walked over to the bartender, and said something to
him. He walked back and gave us a head tilt, indicating we should
follow him. He took my hand and Chris followed with—crap, what was
his name? Ah fuck it. He became Cup Booty I decided in lieu of
asking his name—again. J led us through a door marked “private” and
up a flight of stairs. We walked through a door at the top of the
stairs into a large office. There was a couch and coffee table
straight ahead as we walked in, a desk to the left, and a giant
window filled most of the right wall.

“
Holy shit. You can see
everything from up here!” Chris exclaimed, putting both hands and
her forehead against the glass. I’d seen the window from below but
never thought much of it. From below you can’t see anything though
it. I’d just discovered why.

“
Do you know the owner or
something?” I asked J.

“
Or something,” he replied,
as someone came through the door with a tray full of alcohol. A lot
of alcohol! The guy with the tray sat it down and I marveled that
it had everything Chris and I drank: a bottle of Captain Morgan, a
jug of pineapple juice, Hpnotiq, Hennessey, Grey Goose Vodka, two
six packs of Labatt’s and a bowl of ice. J began serving up
drinks.

“
Captain and pineapple,” J
said, handing Chris her drink. “Beer or vodka, Elle?”

“
Beer.” I was pretty fucked
up, and suddenly felt the need to have my wits about me. He passed
a Labatt’s to me, one to Cup Booty, and opened one for
himself.

“
Shots?” J asked the
group.

“
Hell yeah!” Chris
exclaimed. Of course she would want shots. I shook my head and J
made three. “Come on, Elle. Everyone else is doing it,” she said,
mocking an after school special.

“
Vodka, Elle?” J asked. “You
know Chris, you can see all kinds of shit through the window.
People get pretty crazy out there on the dance floor.” Chris got
up, taking Cup Booty with her and shoved her face against the
window again. J winked as he poured water into the fourth shot
glass.

“
Fuck, I think those two are
fuckin’ on the dance floor!” Chris slurred. She really didn’t need
a shot, but I couldn’t help smiling at her as she turned around to
find four shot glasses lined up. “Right on Elle.” She put her hand
in the air and I gave her a high five.

“
To new friends,” J said,
holding up his shot. J winked at me as we all grabbed a shot and
downed them. I smiled at J. He could have made fun of me, or tried
to get me to drink past a limit I was comfortable with. Instead, he
respected my boundaries
and
made sure I didn’t look like a lightweight in
front of Chris and Cup Booty. Niiiiiice. Ten points for J. Like he
needed them.

Kendrick Lamar’s Don’t Kill My Vibe started
to play in the club and Chris was on the move. “I love this song!
Let’s dance!” She grabbed her Cup Booty’s hand and danced them
towards the door.

“
Go on. Elle and I will
catch up in a minute. Dance by the DJ booth,” J told them as Chris
and Cup Booty exited the door.

“
Don’t fall,” I yelled after
them. I closed the door and turned around to see J staring at me
with a hungry look in his eyes. Looking in those dark pools, I felt
devoured and he hadn’t even moved. I set my beer on the coffee
table, and took slow and purposeful toward J, prolonging the
moment. Things began moving in slow motion. Or maybe my mind had
just started moving in slow motion in efforts to savor the
moment.

As soon as I was within reaching distance of
J, his hands were in my hair, his lips on mine. He spun me around,
and I felt us moving backward until my butt hit the desk. I reached
around his neck, grabbing on to him for fear of falling. I was
drunk on alcohol, but the sensation of his mouth traveling down my
neck, kissing licking sucking biting, made my head spin. I moaned
as he slipped the straps of my tank down, scraping his teeth across
the place where my neck and shoulder met. I tilted my head as if by
reflex, offering him greater access.

“
Wrap your legs around me,”
J ordered, and I complied. Shoving papers to the floor, J laid me
down on the desk and then leaned over me, his hands on either side
of my head. “A dress would make this so much easier,” I heard him
murmur as he sucked my ear lobe into his mouth.

“
I don’t wear dresses,” I
panted as his mouth dipped between my breasts. Pushing my shirt and
bra aside, he sucked one of my nipples into this mouth while
rolling the other between his fingers. “Oh god. Fuck,” I
moaned.

“
J is fine.” I heard him
chuckle before biting down on my other nipple. The pleasure/pain
sensation soaked my panties in an instant.

“
I’ll call you whatever you
want if you don’t stop.”

J stood up and pulled my ass to the edge of
the desk. He reached down and popped the button on my jeans,
pulling them down around my ankles, along with my panties. I felt
him kneel down while holding on to my legs. He gently bent my
knees, and rested my calves on his shoulders. He dove into my pussy
without warning, as if starved for it.

“
Shit! Oh fuck, J. Oh god,”
I gasped, breathless, as he ran his tongue through my folds and
over my clit. I vaguely registered the song changing to Wale’s Love
Hate Thing. Our song. Shit, maybe this dude was god. He plunged his
tongue into my pussy, pumping it in and out like a cock. I rolled
my head back and forth as pleasure flooded though my entire body.
He removed his tongue and I felt empty, but only for a moment as he
quickly replaced it with one finger. He slid his finger out,
running it though my cleft. He teased me, knowing I wanted more.
After a moment of emptiness that felt like hours, he slid two
fingers inside my dripping cunt and began stroking the inside of me
in a place few had touched before.

“
Fuck you are God.” Did I
just say that? “Oh shit. Oh shit!” I hollered as he sucked my clit
into his mouth and held it between his teeth. I was about to cum
all over his fingers any second. His fingers continued pumping in
and out of me as his mouth sucked and bit my clit. It only took a
couple seconds before I was screaming his name. “Fuck J! Oh Fuck.
Oh my god, J!” I closed my eyes and let the orgasm overtake me. I
didn’t see stars this time when I closed my eyes. I saw fireworks.
The kind of fireworks the city puts on, not the ones the neighbors
do in the back yard. These were industrial fireworks requiring a
permit to detonate. J kept his mouth on me, sucking up every drop I
had to offer.

“
Shit,” I whispered as my
body convulsed. J continued sucking my clit, prolonging my orgasms
to the point I thought I might split in two. “No more. No more,” I
begged.

J stilled for one second, his fingers still
in me. He kissed my abdomen. “One more,” he said with a smile I
could feel against my skin. He slipped one more finger inside me
and I thought I could feel it on the inside of my belly. Flicking
his tongue rapidly across my clit, I felt myself moving higher and
higher until I burst, drenching his fingers. I was heaving when he
finally removed his fingers and pulled out his black bandana to
wipe them clean. He slowed his assault on my clit as I came down,
and he put the bandana back in his pocket. It felt as if my bones
had turned to Jell-O.

Stepping out from under my legs, J pulled my
pants up. “Put your arms around my neck.”

I complied, unable to speak
yet. He pulled my pants the rest of the way up and buttoned them
closed. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my head.
How the fuck did he do that?!
was all I could think.

“
What the fuck?” I said on a
rasp. I smiled at J. He lowered his mouth to mine and sucked my
bottom lip into his mouth. I opened for him sliding my tongue
across his.

“
No running tonight,” he
whispered.

I nodded. “Chris!” I suddenly remembered she
was down there alone with Cup Booty.

“
Rock’s watching her.” J
pulled me over the window and pointed to the DJ box. I scanned the
crowd in our usual dancing place and saw Chris grinding up against
Cup Booty. J held a hand out to me. I looked at it for a second and
then at his face, his eyes, contemplating. It seemed like such a
defining moment. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew that the moment I
put my hand in his, things were going to change. How, I didn’t
know. It was one of those feelings you get in your gut. Ignore it
and be lonely, or put my hand in his and take a risk? Was it worth
it? Was love worth the risk?

With a deep breath and an Aaron-worthy
mental pep talk, I put my hand in J’s. He smiled big, lighting up
his entire face. He, too, seemed to realize the implication of what
just transpired. He kissed my forehead and murmured, “Thank you.” I
asked him for what, and he just winked at me, like he knew I had
just taken a giant risk and was wading into foreign waters with
him.

We walked toward the door hand in hand. I
felt like I was in middle school, only I never held anyone’s hand
in middle school. I was already letting men stick their dick in me
by that age. This seemed so innocent, like what I should have been
doing in middle school. I thought of Genesis and how she beamed
when she told me about Fernie holding her hand. It felt like J was
giving me back part of my adolescence that I’d missed.