Steel & Ice (17 page)

“
Aren’t you supposed to
pinch yourself?” he said with a yawn. Stretching his arms out, the
sheet slipped down and J gave me a great visual of the upper half
of his body. Mmmm Mmmm. I’d never get tired of seeing
that.

“
I tried that. But what if I
was dreaming I was pinching myself?”

“
What if you are dreaming
you pinched me and you’re still dreaming?”

“
Then I don’t want to wake
up.” I leaned in for a kiss, a kiss I got, but much more than a
kiss. J had me pinned underneath him before I could blink. I
squealed. I squealed? I don’t squeal. Kitchen Elle sure as hell
doesn’t squeal. Clubbin’ Elle doesn’t squeal. The Real Elle snorts.
Which Elle is this?

“
I’ll show you it’s not a
dream,” J said, reaching between my legs.

An hour later I was convinced it wasn’t a
dream and squealed again that I was living one of my fantasies. Who
gets that? I sure as hell didn’t. Yet here I was, in this bed, with
this man, scared shitless but taking the risk. I could have thought
about it all morning but after another round with J, his body
wrapped around mine, sleep was just too tempting.

******

When I woke up again, I heard the shower
shutting off. I stretched for a second and took in my surroundings.
I hadn’t really gotten a good look at J’s bedroom the previous
nights I’d slept there. I’d been rather, well, occupied. It was
sparse, as was much of J’s house. There was a dresser with change
and cologne on it. Aqua di Gio. I was right. The night stand looked
like a tree stump. It held an alarm clock and a picture of a little
J with, who I assumed, was his Gramps. They were standing next to a
vintage muscle car with the hood up. J had a streak of dirt across
his cheek and a smile across his face.

My analysis was cut short a moment later
when J walked into the bedroom, towel wrapped around his hips and
water dripping from his dark locks down his chest. I watched one
droplet make its way down his neck, this chest, his abs, and into
the towel.

“
Stop doing that,” I told
him.

“
Doing what?”

“
Making my fantasies
real.”

“
Sweetheart we can make any
fantasy you want real,” he said with a crooked grin. “Do you want
to shower? I’m taking you out for breakfast.”

“
I thought I was going to be
sitting at your table while you made me breakfast?”

“
I said you would be sitting
at my table. The table I always sit at in my favorite
diner.”

I stretched my limbs languidly, like a cat
after a long nap. I was sore from last night and this morning, but
it was a good sore. One that reminded me what J could do to my
body. “Would it be cool if we ran to my place so I could
change?”

“
Oh, I get to see where you
live?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.

“
Yes. And that is a bigger
deal than you know. Larry, Chris and Aaron are the only people who
come over, and even that’s rare,” I said getting up and slipping
into my jeans and tank. I cuffed the legs of my jeans that were now
4 inches too long in bare feet. Once J was dressed and I had all
purse, we headed out the door. I had a moment of panic when I
didn’t see the Monte Carlo.

“
You rode with me.
Remember?”

I looked up at J. “Was it that obvious?”

“
That you were slipping into
panic mode?”

I shoved his back as I followed him to the
Suburban. “I wasn’t in panic mode. I was just, surprised.”

“
Whatever my little fawn. Up
you go.” J opened the passenger door and lifted me into the
seat.

I directed J where to go to get to my house.
I was still a little sleepy and could’ve really used a cup of
coffee, or five. I was deep in daydreams when J asked, “Why don’t
you have people to your house?”

I looked at him, jostled back to reality.
“Cuz, it’s my space.”

“
And you don’t want anyone
in your space?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess not.”

“
You know sometimes I hate
those shoulder shrugs because I know there is always more to it
when you shrug. Care to elaborate?” Fuck, he had caught on to the
shoulder shrug move.

“
It’s my place where I’m
safe and in control. I’m in charge of what happens when I’m in my
apartment. God, this is going to sound stupid,” I mumbled, removing
my glasses to rub my sleepy eyes. It was a little early for this
conversation.

J reached over and grabbed my hand. “Nothing
you say is stupid.”

I took a deep breath before I explained.
“Well, there is energy in my apartment. It’s my safe haven from the
negative energy in the world. I’ve created a space with only
positive energy and I don’t want anyone coming over and… fuckin’ it
up, you know.”

J chuckled.
Fucker’s laughing at me?
I punched him in the arm.

“
I’m not laughing at you
Elle. I’m laughing cuz that could have easily come out of my mouth.
I told you my grandpa was full Lakota? He told me his spirit animal
was an eagle and whenever I saw one, it was him looking down on me
from the other side.”

Wow. Didn’t expect that to come out of his
mouth. “Are you a bear?”

J swerved in the lane a bit. “What?” He was
obviously thrown off by my question. “Why would you say that?”

“
The coffee table. The eagle
perched on the bear. And your shoulder tattoo.”

“
Yeah. I got the eagle tat
when he passed. We made that table together. He taught me how to
build stuff out of wood, leather, mechanical stuff. He showed me
how to use my hands to create, to fix—“

“
Did he show you how to use
your hands to make a girl lose her senses?” I
interjected.

“
No, I learned that one all
on my own.”

“
So you build shit and fix
shit?” I asked, realizing I really don’t know much about
him.

“
Yeah, I guess.” I wanted to
ask him to elaborate but we reached my apartment. I led him inside,
and tossed my shoes and blazer on the couch. Fishing my phone out
of my purse, I called Aaron.

“
Tell me you got fucked last
night cuz Larry is being a little bitch.” Good morning to you too
Aaron.

“
Twice. Well three times
sorta.”

“
Sorta. I have five minutes
before Larry pops off again. Dish,” Aaron commanded.

“
Can’t. Hafta wait til
later.”

“
Ohhh, you’re still with
him.”

“
Uh huh.” I looked up at J
and smiled.

“
Fine. Call me as soon as
you’re free.”

“
I will. Thanks Aaron. I owe
you.”

“
Of course you do chica. And
trust me, I will cash in.”

“
I know you will. Bye
Aaron,” I sing songed and hung up.

“
Everything cool?” J
asked.

“
Yeah. It’ll be fine. They
can live a day without me.”

“
I like this one,” J said
pointing to a scrap of paper taped to the wall. I prayed he was
serious and wasn’t about to run from my apartment screaming about
the crazy lady with scraps of paper hanging all over her walls. I
walked over to him, well aware of which one he was pointing to. I’d
read each of them too many times to count. Each one meant something
different. It wasn’t just the quote that had meaning, it was also
the reason I hung it up. Each scrap of paper was put there for a
reason. Each quote had a story that went along with it. Most of
those stories weren’t fairytales. They involved my nightmares, the
ones I had at night as well as during waking hours.

Every person, all the events of your life
are there because you have drawn them there. What you chose to do
with them is up to you. –Richard Bach.

“
You have them all over,” he
said gesturing to the living room that opened into the kitchen. He
was right, they were all over.

“
I need them to remind
me.”

“
Remind you of what?” J
continued to wander from quote to quote.

“
Maybe later, but for now…
starfish.”

“
But later?” J turned and
asked with hope in his eyes.

“
Later,” I said walking into
my room to change clothes. I moaned as I slipped my tennis shoes
on. I loved my heels, but they were evil bitches that demanded
payment in the form of sore feet. I washed my face, struggling to
get the last traces of eye liner off. My hair was a bit of a mess
from showering and sleeping on it so I shoved it under the sink to
wet it down. I came back into the living room with two braids
falling on either side of my neck and a brown Kangol
hat.

“
Nice hat.”

“
I was going to wear my
black baseball cap but I didn’t want us to be
that
couple.” I smiled and pointed at
the black cap J was wearing. The same one he had on the first night
I saw him at Checks.

“
So we’re a couple?” J’s
smile was mischievous, as if he knew I was two seconds away from
calling starfish. “Ready to go?” he asked, changing the subject.
Crisis averted, but I knew he caught my slip up and would bring it
up again. I grabbed my coat and we headed out, my apartment’s
energy intact.

******

We arrived at a little diner I passed by,
but never had been inside of before. J apparently had since as soon
as we sat down in what I would later find out was “his” booth,
coffee, cream, and sugar appeared along with a middle aged
waitress. “Who’s your friend?”

“
Rita this is Elle. Elle,
Rita.” I reached my hand to tell her “pleased to meet you.” She
just winked at me. OK… No handshakes from Rita. I took mental
note.

“
You guys need a minute?”
Rita asked looking at me.

“
Can I get an omelet with
mushrooms, cheese, and tomatoes? And some more cream and sugar? I’m
going to use a lot of it.”

“
Um hum. Hash browns or
toast?”

“
Hash browns.”

“
Want cheese on
them?”

“
Uh, sure.” Why
not?

“
Anything else?”

“
Couple glasses of water?” J
requested.

“
Aspirin?” Rita asked
without looking up from her pad of paper.

“
Yeah,” J
responded.

Rita walked away without taking J’s order.
“You aren’t eating?”

“
Rita knows what I like.” I
was struggling to decide if the eyebrow raise or the half
smile/smirky thing he did was sexier when Rita returned with coffee
refills, cream, and sugar. I thanked her as I had downed my first
cup already and was pouring cream into my next cup before she could
even get J’s refilled. She handed J a handful of what I assumed
were aspirin. He reached out and passed them to me. I glared at the
four pills in my hand as if they were bombs about to detonate. I
looked up to him skeptically. “I thought you might be struggling
after last night. You had quite a few drinks. It’s just aspirin.
Promise.” J made an X over his heart as he said the last
words.

I was mos def struggling so I downed the
pills with some water. “How do you know how much I had to drink?” I
asked, sounding like a snotty teenager.

“
The window.” Did he stand
up there and stare out of that window at me all night?
Creeeeeepy

“
You were watching me?
That’s kinda creepy you know,” I said, giving him my own crooked
smile.

“
I wasn’t up there to watch
you, but it was an added bonus.”

“
What were you up there
doing?”

“
Starfish,” he replied
flatly. Well fuck. I couldn’t exactly push him seeing as I was the
one who’d made the starfish rule in the first place.

I reached out and grabbed J’s hand. “Thanks
for the aspirin. I did need them.” He just smiled back.

Our food arrived. I dropped J’s hand and
dove into my meal, realizing I was starving as soon as the plate
hit the table. My omelet was amazing, and J shared his equally
amazing waffles with me.

“
Fuck! I wish I would have
come here sooner. This shit’s like an orgasm in my mouth,” I said
with my mouth full of food. I know, classy huh? But the food was
really that good.

“
Well that must mean it’s
good cause when you orgasmed in my mouth it was pretty
spectacular,” he teased.

J was grinning, and I honestly had no come
back for that so I just shook my head, smiled, and kept shoveling
food in my mouth.

J dropped me off after
breakfast, saying he had some
business
to attend to. I called Aaron
and Chris on three way and dished. There was a lot of clapping,
screaming, and hooting. Mainly because I rarely have anything to
dish. I was usually the dishee not the disher. I thanked Aaron a
few more times for handling my Sunday shift, but after hearing a
play by play of my Saturday night he shooed me off saying not to
mention it. I felt so lucky to have these two amazing people in my
life. I’d had my fair share of shitty friends. People who would
screw you over in a heartbeat. Maybe it was my turn to have more
good than bad in my life. At the moment, there really wasn’t any
bad at all.

I had two great friends, a kitchen full of
guys who had my back, a hot ass boyfriend who knew what he was
doing between my legs. Throw in a steady job, classes I liked this
semester, and teens who brought me laughs every Wednesday and I
would’ve said I was in about the best place I’d ever been in my
life.