Step-Lover (8 page)

“I’m not telling you because I want your sympathy,” he says, his voice raspy. “I’m telling you because I get it. I get the nightmares; I get the need to avoid pity. My dad doesn’t know what happened. He still to this day thinks I left her and that she’s still alive somewhere. My brothers and mother think she was in an accident and passed away. I pushed them all away because I don’t want pity. So I get it.”

Tears pool in my eyes, and I can’t hold them back. He squeezes my hand and I squeeze back. “My sister was my best friend, you know? I loved her so much. We were so close. I don’t remember much about that night, but I remember waking and turning to look at her. I knew, even at that age, that her head shouldn’t have been on that angle. Her eyes were wide and she was just staring at me . . . lifelessly. I can never not see her face. Every time I close my eyes they’re there.”

Brody says nothing, but he understands. I know he does.

“Hey Brody?”

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He turns to me. “Then whose was it?”

“People get sick, and they don’t think the way we do. She was suffering and obviously couldn’t handle it anymore. That’s not your fault.”

“If I didn’t break up with her, it wouldn’t have happened.”

I squeeze his hand again. “You and I both know that’s not true. Eventually, something would have happened. If things were that bad before you broke it off with her, then she was already in her own personal hell.”

He says nothing more. He just lets my hand go and pulls out another flask. We have already finished the first.

“Let’s walk, and drink. It helps.”

I guess that means we’re done talking.

I’m okay with that, because what just happened made me feel connected to someone in a way I haven’t felt since my sister and dad lived. It’s not a romantic connection—it’s an understanding, a bond over a similar pain.

Maybe having these guys in my life won’t be such a bad thing, after all.

CHAPTER TWELVE

THEN – ONE YEAR EARLIER

He’s thrusting inside me, deep yet soft. His fingers are curling into my hips and I’m whimpering, slapping my hands on the sheets beside me. He feels so amazing. So fucking amazing. His cock is sliding in and out of my depth, making my body ache with the need for more. I arch up, pressing my breasts to his chest. His lips find mine and he kisses me roughly, groaning against my mouth.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “So fuckin’ tight.”

God. Yes.

“I’m,” I gasp, “coming.”

“Fuck yeah.”

He fucks me harder and I explode around him, screaming his name until my voice is hoarse and my body is trembling as I come down from the best orgasm yet. This one was different; I don’t know how but it was. He made me feel like the only woman he’s ever laid his amazing touch upon. He makes me feel real. What happened when we were running earlier might have just been him pulling back.

He’s inside me, and he’s making me feel like he cares.

I wonder what he’s afraid of?

“God dammit,” he rasps as his body stills inside me. “Fuck.”

He drops his forehead to mine and his lips gently graze across my full ones. He gently pulls out and rolls off me. We lay side by side, and there’s so much I want to say. I want to ask to see him again. I want to know that there’s a chance. We connected; sure, we don’t know each other that well, but there’s something between us. I wonder if he feels it as strongly as I do.

“Answer my questions,” I say softly.

“What questions?”

“Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

I smile. “Favorite car?”

“Anything that’s old and beautiful. I particularly love Mustangs.”

“Nice choice.” I shift closer. “Favorite state?”

“Colorado.”

“Great place.” I grin. “Favorite food?”

“Pasta, anything pasta.”

I beam. That’s mine, too. “Favorite place you’ve visited?”

He tucks me into his side and I melt. “We went to Australia when I was a kid. I fucking loved it there.”

“Oh, I’m jealous. I’d love to go to Australia. Where did you go?”

“Cairns. It was beautiful. So green and tropical. Great place.”

Damn. I wish I could have seen that. “Okay, now I’m officially jealous. All right, favorite childhood memory?”

He stares at the ceiling. “When my brother broke his leg.”

I giggle unexpectedly. “That’s your favorite memory?”

He chuckles. “Not that he broke his leg, just that he did it because he was chasing a bully down the road.”

“A bully?”

“Yep, this dude was tryin’ to bash me. My younger brother has always been boisterous. He saw what happened and he chased this guy down the road. He ran across the road after him and got hit by a car.”

I gasp. “Oh my God!”

“It wasn’t funny at the time, but after, we all laughed so hard about it.”

“You sound like you adore your family.”

He nods. “Yeah, they’re pretty awesome.”

“I’m glad.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you going to answer my questions?”

“I’m not done yet,” I say.

“All right, you get five more.”

I close my eyes. Here goes. This is either going to go really bad or really good. I won’t know until I speak. “Have you been in love?”

He flinches. “Not yet.”

“Do you want to be?”

He’s stiff. God, he hates this and that hurts. It hurts because it means he doesn’t want this as much as I do. “Sure, when I’m older. Right now, I’m young and I want to enjoy being young. I’ve seen marriages go wrong, and that shit isn’t something I want for myself. I just want to live before I’m tied down.”

Wrong answer.

Yet a true answer.

“I understand,” I say gently. “I’m the opposite; I know life can end suddenly, so I don’t want to wait.”

“Fair enough,” he says, but his voice is distant.

I take a breath and say, “And this? You don’t want to see where it could go?”

He’s silent for so long I wonder if he heard me, then he says, “I’m not sure. Let’s go to sleep. I’m buggered.”

I’m not sure.

Well, at least it’s not a no.

I snuggle into him and let my eyes flutter closed, holding hope in my heart that he might just give this a chance. Right before I go to sleep, I whisper, “What’s your name?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

He lies.

Because tomorrow when I wake up, he’s gone and so are all his things.

He left me alone, with no explanation and no reason.

And in doing that, he broke my heart.

~*~*~*~

NOW

Brody and I have managed to get our hands on a bottle of alcohol. We’ve been drinking since this morning, and it’s now two in the afternoon and we’re both smashed. I’m enjoying my time with him, because he’s opening up to me and I’m seeing a really great side to him. We’re hidden well in the trees, so no one can find us. We don’t want to be found right now.

“So,” I slur. “Has Blade always been such a jerk?”

I know the answer to that; I know it because the Blade I met more than a year earlier was a really good guy. He didn’t want a relationship, but he wasn’t a pig. He had a good personality. This Blade? He’s angry and he’s bitter. I want to know why.

“Nah,” Brody says, swallowing more alcohol. “That only happened about a year ago. He went away for a weekend and came back a fuckin’ jerk. Not sure what happened, but I ’spect a girl.”

Oh. God.

He’s been like that . . . since me?

“Why would a girl cause him to become such a prick?”

He shrugs. “He was always easy, running around with girls and livin’ hard. He enjoyed being young and was determined to stay that way. He was a good guy, don’t get me wrong—the girls loved him because he laid the charm on thick with them. After that weekend, he was different. He became a jerk, and I think it’s because whoever that girl was, she made him feel and he threw it all away. He thought it was what he wanted, but it wasn’t, and he fucked up.”

Double oh god! He’s like this because . . . of me?

I don’t understand. He’s pushed me away so much, he’s been a jerk, and he’s played games. Why the hell would he be like that because of me, yet he’s refusing to play nice? Is it purely because our parents are married now, and he doesn’t want to screw with that, or is it because he’s still pretending he doesn’t want a girl in his life?

“That seems a bit extreme,” I mutter. “I mean if he wanted this chick, why didn’t he just say?”

“Because he’s a fool and thinks he fuckin’ knows everything. He doesn’t. He’s so scared of relationships that he pushes anything good away.”

That makes more sense.

“Is that because of Jack and your mom?”

He nods. “They were married a long time, but she cheated on him.”

I gasp. “I didn’t . . . I didn’t know that.”

“He doesn’t make it known. He walked and we were left with her. Blade, being the oldest, watched what she went through as well as what Dad went through. He was angry; he was bitter because they took away our family. He didn’t understand it, and I don’t think he does even now.”

“That’s sucky. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. “Mom is a spoiled bitch. Dad is lucky to have found Nancy.”

My heart swells and I smile at him. His lip quirks and I realize just how beautiful Brody could be if he smiled.

“Did you go to the army?”

His brow shoots up. “Why do you ask?”

“You were wearing cargo pants when you got here? And you just have . . . an army look.”

He nods. “I looked at joining, went for a few weeks. I still haven’t decided if I’ll continue.”

“You should. You’re smart and you’ll do great in that field.”

“I’m twenty-two; I don’t know what I want. It’s a big commitment.”

“Yeah, you’re right, it is.”

“What about you? Medicine is a big thing.”

I nod. “Yeah, it is. I want to help people. After my sister . . . those men saved Mom and my lives that night. They couldn’t help my sister and dad because it was too late, but if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. After that I just wanted to save lives.”

“You’d be great in the ER then.”

I blink. “You know . . . I never even thought of that.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “It’s a hardcore job to be in, but I reckon you’d do really good.”

I smile. “You know, I think I’m going to like having you as a brother, Brody.”

He gives me a half-smile and I was right; he’s beautiful when he smiles.

“Let’s go hire a jet ski,” he says.

“Oh!” I squeal, leaping up. “Yes.”

We run like loons towards the hire building. Brody pulls it together as if he’s not pissed and manages to get the young dude behind the counter to let us hire some jet skis. How they didn’t smell him, I’ll never know. We get our life jackets and run down to the water where they’re tied.

“Whoever can get to the other side of the lake first, wins,” Brody says, jumping onto one.

“Oh, I’m going to kick your ass!”

We get on one each and the guy unties them for us. Then we take off. I’m drunk, and I should know better, but when you’re drunk you don’t know better. That’s why drinking can be so dangerous. I hear my name being called when I’m zooming and turn to see Jack, Blade and Ripley standing by the water, waving their hands.

I ignore them.

Instead I squeal with laughter as I zoom towards the other side of the lake with Brody. He’s laughing so loud it swells my heart with joy. I’m right there with him. We make it to the other side and spin around quickly, gunning the engines to bring us back towards Jack and the guys. I’m nearly there when I turn to the side too quickly. I don’t see it coming—I’m just flying through the air before I can stop myself.

I soar and fear squeezes my chest as I land in the lake so hard pain shoots up my spine. I scream and flail. I’m afloat, but I’m drunk and I’m in agony. My head keeps plunging forward, dunking my face in the water. There’s blood coming from my forehead, and dripping into my mouth. I gasp for air and my lungs burn as I keep bobbing up and down.

I can hear shouting and yelling, but I’m so drunk I can’t even begin to process that I need to swim towards the shore. Before I have the chance to think about it, hard arms wrap around my body, hauling me up. I gasp for air as I see Blade holding onto me. His eyes are frantic, and he looks completely freaked out. He pulls me towards the shoreline, just as Brody comes to a screaming stop beside me, staring down with wide, panicked eyes.

“I’m okay,” I yell.

“You’re fucking bleeding.”

I press my hand to my forehead as Blade swims us to the surface. When we make it, Brody leaps off his jet ski and runs towards me. I flop down onto my back, panting. Blade unbuckles my lifejacket and pulls it off, then sits me up, rubbing my back furiously as I cough. Brody has his lifejacket and shirt off, and he’s pressing the shirt against my head.

“Are you . . .?” Blade stops rubbing my back and leans down close. “You’re drunk.”

“So?” I fire at him.

“Jesus, what the fuck were you two doing on jet skis when you’re drunk?” he barks, turning to Brody.

Jack reaches us and squats in front of me. “Jesus, honey, are you okay?”

“She’s fucking drunk,” Blade snarls.

“Fuck you, Blade,” I bite out.

“You two have been drinking?” Jack asks, looking to Brody and back to me.

“We had a few.” I wave casually.

“Honey, I can barely understand you, you’re slurring that much.”

Oops.

“What were you thinking?” Blade snaps at Brody.

“Hey!” I yell. “Don’t you dare blame him. He didn’t make me do anything.”

Brody is standing now, and he looks devastated. His mouth is in a hard line and his eyes are full of pain.

“Brody,” I call, and he turns to me. “Thank you.”

Everyone looks at me like I’ve lost my marbles.

“Don’t feel guilt over this,” I say gently. “Because today you helped me more than anyone has ever been able to help me in my life. I don’t care if they’re angry at us. I’d do it all over again.”

He stares at me for long moments, then smiles. I smile back. We’re cool.

“Ripley,” Jack orders, “walk with Brody. Go home and tell Nancy and Melanie we’ve found Aria. Tell them we’re takin’ her to lunch. I can’t bring her home like this.”

Ripley nods, then turns to Brody. “You got anymore of that alcohol?”

“Ripley!” Jack growls.

I giggle.

Brody walks off with Ripley, and they’re both laughing. I turn to Jack, and he’s giving me a stern expression. “You could have killed yourself out there, Ari.”