Stepbrother Forever: A Stepbrother Romance (14 page)

Chapter 22

I see my mother’s car
when I get off the platform, “Hey, Mom,” I say as I get into her warm car.

“Hey,”
she replies, leaning over to give me a kiss. She lightly touches my forehead
with the back of her hand, trying to take my temperature like she did when I
was a child.

“Really,
Mom?” I ask with a smirk.

“Just
checking,” she replies. “It’s part of my job. I guess the doctor can tell us
soon enough.”

She
pulls out onto the main road and we head to the doctor’s office. Mom asks about
work and my new class so I fill her in on what I’ve been doing, which is not
much of anything lately. She asks if I’ve heard from Ryan, and I tell her that
we talk every couple of days. I see her raise her eyebrows so I try to divert
her next round of questions. I quickly tell her about seeing Ryan on television
New Year’s Day. My plan works and we talk about that for the last of the car
ride until we reach the office.

The
receptionist greets us like old friends. I started coming here when I left my
pediatrician. I fill out the necessary forms, and when they call my name I go
in, leaving my mother in the waiting room. I talk to the nurse and let her know
what’s been going on. I tell her I think it’s stress and nerves, and she agrees
that it could be, but of course we have to check—that’s what I came here for,
anyway. She goes through the normal routine; taking my height and weight, getting
urine and blood samples. The doctor comes in to talk to me and we go over the
same information I did with the nurse. He listens to my lungs and feels my
stomach. He tells me to get dressed and leaves the room for a few minutes.

I’m
reading a magazine when he comes back in and sits down.

“Eve,
we ran some labs on your urine. Are you aware that you’re pregnant?” he asks.

The
color drains from my face. “What? H-how?”

“I’m
assuming at your age, you know how,” he answers gently. “But you do seem surprised.
Are you okay? Would you like me to get your mother?”

“No!” I
answer quickly. “I mean, I don’t want my mother in here now. I’m very
surprised.”

“Well,
let me be the first to congratulate you, then,” he answers with a smile. “That
seems to be the cause of your symptoms. Other than that, you’re in perfect
health.”

“Thanks,”
I say absently. Holy shit. This can’t be happening. There is no way—there is a
way, but it can’t be. Holy shit. What am I going to do?

“Good
luck, Eve,” the doctor says interrupting my thoughts, “I suggest you make an
appointment with your gynecologist. Take as much time as you need in here.” He
flashes me a considerate smile and leaves the room.

I start
to cry. I am in complete and total shock. My head is spinning and my brain is
having trouble comprehending what is happening. I can’t have a
baby.
I
don’t even know if I can tell Ryan. I do know I can’t tell my mother the news.
I need to pull myself together for now and play it cool. This is not the time,
and I am definitely not in the right frame of mind. I need some time to process
this.

I sit
in the room for several minutes, taking deep breaths and trying to clear my
head—which is proving to be impossible. I can’t focus on anything but the news
I just heard. No matter how hard I try to focus on something else, the words
keep playing in my head: “you’re pregnant.” I don’t want to see my mother right
now, but I’m glad she’s out there waiting for me, or I would be having a
full-blown panic attack. I need to act normal so she doesn’t suspect anything.

The
nurse opens the door to check on me. I calmly let her know I’m leaving in a
minute. I’m an actor, dammit. I’ve been studying how to act for years. I need
to use every one of those skills and get through the rest of this day, or at
least until I can lock myself in a room later. I splash some water on my face
and towel it off. I open the door and walk out to the waiting room silently
praying that I can pull this off. I say goodbye to the receptionist and my
mother stands to meet me by the door.

“What’s
wrong?” mom asks when we get into the hallway.

“Nothing,”
I lie. “I checked out fine so the doctor agreed it’s probably just stress.”

“Are
you sure?” she asks suspiciously. “You look like you’ve been crying.”

“I was,
but only because I was telling the doctor why I’ve been so tense and it made me
upset.”

“What
could possibly have you so upset?” she asks, more concerned.

“Nothing
crazy, mostly just my career, or lack of one. I really just don’t feel like
talking about it anymore.” Finally, some truth. “We can talk about it another
day, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,
sweetie. Whenever you’re ready,” she answers.

“Do you
want to stop for some lunch, or just go home?” she asks.

“Home
is fine,” I reply flatly. I wanted to have a nice day with my mother, but I’m
just not up for it. I feel bad but I don’t think I can do it now.

We
continue the drive home in silence. I can see my mom is upset that I’m upset,
and I can’t blame her. I’ve never been the most open about my feelings, but I
don’t like leaving her in the dark, either. I just can’t tell her that I’m
pregnant—at least, not now. Maybe not ever.

“Mom, I
promise, I’m fine,” I assure her when we pull into the driveway.

“I’m
sure you are. I know you’re a strong young woman, but I’m here if you want to
talk,” she says with a reassuring smile.

I lean
over and hug her before we get out of the car. I’m sure talking to my mom would
be helpful. She is usually understanding and level headed, but this is big. I
need to think for myself before I decide to share with anyone else—even Ryan.

We walk
into the house and I tell my mother I’m going to take a nap. I go up to my
room, even though there’s no chance of that happening. I just need to think.

I lay
on my old bed and stare at the ceiling. I cross my arms over my belly and tears
fall down my face. I’m not really crying, I am numb. I am overwhelmed with the
news. I don’t have a real job, I barely have a boyfriend, my parents are going
to be horrified, and I have no idea what I will do with a child! If I tell
Ryan, he is going to want to come back. His career literally just started, and
this movie may very well make him a star. I can’t take that away from him. I’m
supposed be going to see him in less than two weeks. How will I hide this from
him?

I’m
going to have to tell Ryan when I see him. I know he will step up and do what’s
right. I also know he loves me and would be thrilled at the idea of us having a
child together and being a family, I just don’t think he wanted it so soon. I
know I didn’t. I will have to go move to California. It will be the only way
for him to keep his career and have this baby.

My
entire world is being thrown upside down. I’m not sure if I can handle having a
baby and raising a child. Especially if I’m living in California and my parents
will be across the country. I won’t know anyone but Ryan, and he will be busy.
As much as he wants me there, maybe having a baby there too will be too much
for him. This child can make us a beautiful family and lifetime of happiness,
or it can ruin everything. I stay in my bed, thoughts spinning through my head.
I know what I have to do, but I’m terrified.

My
phone buzzes and I see a text from Ryan asking if I went to the doctor yet.
When we spoke yesterday, I mentioned that I had an appointment today. He’s been
so worried about me. I text him back that the doctor said I was fine, I must
have had a bug and added stress and I’ll be okay. Even if I’m going to tell
Ryan the truth, I’m not going to do it like this. I will be there soon enough.
If I want him to know, I will tell him then. He tells me to get better soon,
that I can’t miss my trip to California. He has a surprise for me.

My mom
knocks on the door and lets me know she made coffee if I want some; she always
has coffee before she makes dinner. As much as I would like to, I can’t hide in
my room forever. I get up and wash my face before going downstairs. I join mom
in the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee. As I’m stirring in the milk, I
wonder if I’m even supposed to drink coffee anymore. I leave the cup sitting on
the counter. There is a lot I need to learn, and fast.

I put
on a smile and sit at the table. We make some conversation and I tell her it’s
nice to be here, and it is. I love being on my own but I also love being in the
comfort of my parents’ home too. It’s been a cold and lonely month at my place.

I help
my mother prepare dinner. She sneaks some random questions, trying to get a
better idea of what is going on with me, but there’s nothing more I can tell her.
I keep up my happy facade, even though I’m counting down until it’s late enough
for me to say I’m going to bed so I can disappear into my room for the night.

Dinner
is on the table when my stepfather arrives home. I tell him everything is fine
when he inquires about the doctor today, and he seems pleased with my answer.
He’s not as intuitive as my mother, and he didn’t see me crying. I’m sure she
will tell him her concerns as soon as I’m gone. Maybe if I play my part well
enough, she’ll think I feel better. I doubt it, though.

I don’t
eat very much at dinner, and I can tell my mother is watching my plate. The
nausea has returned, and I am very on edge, so I don’t have much of an
appetite.

I help
clear the table and do the dishes before excusing myself to my room. My mother
looks at me with concern, but doesn’t argue. I wish I hadn't planned to sleep
here ahead of time so I could go back to my apartment and be alone, but I’m not
going to try and leave now. There would be too much explaining involved. I kiss
my parents goodnight, walk up to my room, and shut the door behind me.

I want
to scream. I’m on the verge of one of those dramatic, full-body cries that
happens once in a blue moon, but I can’t have that here. I feel trapped and
alone, but I don’t want to be around anyone at the same time. I lament quietly
while tears streak down my cheeks. What the fuck? This is so surreal. I’m going
to have a baby—Ryan’s baby. My stepbrothers baby… I know him well enough to
know his reaction will be mature and sincere—I think I do, anyway. I’m so
confused by everything right now.

Our
relationship is real, and has been growing for so long, but us as a couple and
being in love is still so new. I don’t want to try and be together and then
have Ryan feel stuck because of a child. This is not how I pictured my life, my
future. I haven’t even started my own career yet and now I’m going to have a
child to raise.

I don’t
know the first thing about babies. I’m an only child myself, and haven’t spent
any time around little kids or babies. I have no clue what is involved, not
with pregnancy, labor, infants, the whole thing is a mystery. I try to envision
living in my apartment alone with a baby or a small child, and I can’t. I will
need help and support. I’m sure my mother will give me all that, but I don’t
know what my stepfather’s reaction will be. He tends to be very judgmental when
it comes to the boys I date. He’s come a long way, but finding out his son
knocked up his stepdaughter is going to be a big pill to swallow.

I do
the math again in my head and determine I’m about five weeks pregnant. I still
have time before I will start showing and have to tell everyone. Ryan has to be
the first to know. Once we decide what to do, then I can tell everyone else. I
just can’t let him ruin his career. I can’t have that on my shoulders and he
will never get a chance like this again. You have to strike while the iron is
hot in this business and if he turns away now, there will be no going back.

This
whole train of thought has me sicker to my stomach, more so than I’ve been. At
least I haven’t been throwing up, only feeling like I’m going to.

I get
under the covers and curl up, wrapping my hands over my belly again. I know
this can be a wonderful thing, but the timing and the circumstance is just so
wrong.

I hear
my phone buzz and see Ryan is calling me, but I can’t talk to him now. It’s
going to be hard to keep this from him, but I have to for now. I have to get
more comfortable with the idea myself before I present it to him, and it has to
be face to face.