Stepbrother Forever: A Stepbrother Romance (7 page)

Chapter 11

Ryan and I spend the
next couple of days being overly polite and walking on eggshells. We are trying
to be friends again, but no matter how many times he calls me Sis, it’s just
not working. I don’t feel like a stepsister anymore… He doesn’t feel like a
roommate. Still, we have dinner together on the couch and watch a movie, and
things
start
to feel like the old
days again. With the end of the week approaching, we won’t see each other as
much because of our schedules, but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.

We walk
together to our class at AGR on Monday and I’m tense. I assume that since the
reading we did last week was romantic, this week will be something different,
but you never know. We meet up with our friends in the studio and everyone
seems to have forgotten about last week—not that they even knew the effect it
had on me and Ryan, anyway. Sarah comes in and explains what we will be doing
today and I relieved to hear it will be something comedic. I glance at Ryan and
notice he looks more relaxed, as well. Neither one of us wants to relive last week’s
episode.

After
the workshop is over, we all go out for drinks and some food. There’s one more
week left of taking this class together, and we are all going to miss it.
Somehow, the topic of “when we make it big” always finds its way into the
conversation. I love having this group who shares and understands the dream of
being that one in a million who actually succeeds.

Ryan
and I continue the ebb and flow of repairing our friendship, and by the time
the following weekend comes, we seem to have gotten our groove back. We have
successfully left our debacle behind us. I have also managed to repress my own
feelings and hope that eventually they just go away. I believe they will,
because we really do make great friends.

The
couple of nights Ryan went out with his friends, he came home alone. Not that
he would hook up every time he goes out, but a small part of me wonders if he’s
doing it to protect me. An even smaller part wonders if he is waiting for me to
have a change of heart. I’m sure he will move on soon enough. He’s a man, and
that’s what they do… Right?

With
Christmas only a few weeks away, we decide to buy a small tree for the
apartment to make it festive. We bundle up one evening and go to the parking
lot around the block where a temporary Christmas tree lot has been set up. We
find the nicest of the miniature trees and bring it back to the apartment to
decorate. I had already purchased a small bag of ornaments, and Ryan bought one
of those boxed sets, and together they are enough to cover the tiny sapling. We
play some holiday music and drink hot chocolate while we hang the ornaments on
the tree. Doing this with Ryan is one of the best nights I’ve had in a very
long time. It feels like being back home…

Spending
that time together, relaxed and just being ourselves is exactly what we needed
to seal the deal. We are getting along again and there doesn’t seem to be any
more tension between the two of us—at least, on the outside. I am still
completely confused about my feelings, and I had to fight myself not to drift
into dangerous fantasies when I was alone in the dark, but I’m not going to
bring Ryan into that. I don’t need to complicate things between us again.

We
brave the cold for our final class at the Atlantic Green Room. I hope we can
all manage to get into another, at some point, but for now, this is it. We
settle in and take our usual seats in the cozy room. Sarah comes in with our
final instructions and we have a great time. In the last part of the class, she
has us cold read parts for the last day of high school as a group. Between the
scene itself, our friendship, and our acting skills, most of us are crying by
the end like a bunch of teenagers. It’s perfect.

We
applaud each other, and our acting coach, and are smiling again by the time we
are ready to say our goodbyes. Each of us give Sarah a big hug before we put on
our coats. She asks Ryan if he can stay for a few minutes and of course he
agrees. He says he’ll catch up with us after so we go ahead to the bar without
him. We’re wondering what she wanted to see him about. I suggest that maybe she
wants to talk to him about a part or something. Tony thinks she wants to bang
him. I guessed I’d find out soon enough.

We are
halfway through our first round of drinking when Ryan walks in the bar smiling
ear to ear.

“I knew
it. She definitely blew him,” Tony says before Ryan gets to the table.

“You’re
such a dick, Tony,” Tara says with a laugh. Ryan stands at the edge of the
table.

“So?”
Tara says. “What happened?”

“Possibly
the most amazing thing ever,” Ryan replies, still standing, but he doesn’t
indulge. He always was a pro at suspense.

“What?”
we all ask excitedly at almost the same time.

“Sarah
told me that a casting director who works with Pacific Green Room, AGR’s office
in Los Angeles, is looking to fill a supporting role in a
big
feature film,” Ryan explains. “The actor they had lined up took
a different part. She thinks I will be perfect for it and wants me to do a
recorded audition tomorrow.”

We all
give him words of encouragement and high-fives and fist pumps—this is the most
amazing news any of us have ever heard. Even though it’s happening to Ryan,
it’s almost like we are all a part of it.

“Hell
yeah!” Tony shouts and comes around the table to give his friend a pat on the
back.

“I
didn’t get the part yet, guys,” Ryan says, taking us down a notch as he sits.
“I still have to audition.”

“Dude,
you will definitely get the part,” Tony replies. “You have the skills, and who
can say no to those baby blues?”

We
clink our glasses and say cheers to our first friend with a very good chance of
becoming a star. We order another round of drinks and talk about Ryan and his
possible big break for the rest of the night. I am so happy for him. This part
could make his entire career. My heart does sink a little when I realize that
it will also mean he will have to leave. And if this movie is a hit, he might
just move to California and never come back.

We stay
out late to celebrate, but Ryan wants to be in good form for his audition
tomorrow, so he only has one drink and then takes it easy. He leaves earlier
than the rest of us, who continue to party in his honor.

When I
arrive back home, I’m pretty drunk. I don’t usually drink a lot, but I needed
it. I have had so much going on in my head lately it’s nice to just get silly
and forget about it. Ryan is sleeping on the couch when I open the door, so I
try to keep quiet, but in my drunken state I make more noise than usual. I see
him start to stir and shush myself.

He
opens his eyes halfway, just enough to see I’m there, and smile at me before he
closes them again. I smile as I look at him, and then clumsily trip over the
edge of the coffee table when I try to pass. Ryan wakes with a start. I
scramble to get up and poorly try to straighten my clothing and look like
nothing happened.

“Watch
out for that table. It jumps out of nowhere,” he says, smirking at me through
sleepy eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah.
Totally,” I reply trying to sound sober. “Think I’m gonna go to sleep now.”

“That’s
probably a good idea,” he says.

“Goodnight.
Will I see you in the morning?” I ask, stumbling as I try to walk and talk at
the same time. I am way drunker than I thought I was. I never get sloppy like
this. There is definitely a spinning room in my future.

“Why
don’t I help you?” Ryan offers, standing up and approaching me. “I’m not sure
you’re going to make it to your room, and I have too much to do tomorrow to
spend the night in the ER with you.”

“I’m
fine, dude,” I answer, but I am definitely nowhere near fine.

“I’m
sure you are, but I’ll come along anyway just to make sure,” Ryan insists.
“Let’s get you a glass of water, first.”

Ryan
pours some water and makes me take a drink. Together we walk to my room. I am
leaning heavily against him for support. I hate this feeling of helplessness
and not being in control, which is why I never drink like this in the first
place.

He
walks me to the bed, where I plop down and lay back with my feet on the floor.
I slowly sit back up because the room starts spinning.

“Hold
your foot out,” Ryan commands and I lazily straighten my leg. He pulls off my
shoe and then does the same for my other leg. He then helps raise both legs
onto the bed.

“Okay,
now slowly lie back,” he says, placing his arm behind my back to steady me as I
recline. When my head hits the pillow we are dangerously close—closer than
we’ve been since we kissed.

I look
at Ryan, and for a minute, he holds my stare. So many things are being said
without being spoken. He breaks our stare and removes his arm from behind my
head. I take his hand before he walks away.

“I love
you, Ryan,” I confess.

“I love
you too, Eve,” Ryan replies casually. “Now get some sleep.”

“No,
Ryan. I
love you
, love you,” I say, looking into his eyes. I’m trying to
convey my honesty, but my eyes are half shut and I’m probably slurring, so I
don’t think it’s coming off as well as I hope it is.

“You’re
drunk, Eve,” Ryan says.

“I’m
not,” I say. “I mean, I am, but that’s not why I love you.”

“Okay.
We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Get some sleep.” He kisses the hand I was holding
him with and leaves the room.

I don’t
have time to think about what I just said. I quickly fall asleep before the
room starts spinning on me again.

Chapter 12

When I emerge from my
bedroom in the morning, Ryan is in his room, but the door is open and I hear
him talking. I’m pretty sure I professed my love to him last night, but if he
doesn’t bring it up, I plan on forgetting all about it. He could tell I was
shit-faced and will assume I didn’t know what I was saying, anyway—which I
didn’t. I never would have done that in a sober state.

As I
approach his door, I see Ryan looking in the mirror and reciting lines. He must
be getting ready for his big audition. I listen until he is done and then
smile.

“You’re
going to nail this audition,” I say after he finishes.

“I hope
so,” he replies. “How you feeling this morning?”

“I’ve
been better,” I answer. I don’t feel great, but not as bad as I expected.

Ryan
smirks a little, and his eyes glitter. “Seems like you had a lot of fun after I
left.”

“It was
fun. But I definitely drank too much,” I add sheepishly.

Ryan’s
smirk widens and he raises his brows. “Really? I didn’t notice.”

I shake
my head. “Yeah. Won’t be doing that again any time soon.”

“Probably
a good idea.”

“So,
what time are you going?” I ask, changing the subject before he has a chance to
mention what I said.

“Leaving
in a few. I have to admit, I’m nervous for this one,” he confesses.

“I
don’t blame you. This could be life-changing.” Even thinking of the impact this
could have on Ryan’s life is bittersweet.

“Thanks.
I feel much calmer now,” he jokes.

“Sorry.
But you know what I mean. It’s okay to be nervous, but I don’t think you have
anything to worry about. They sought
you
out for this part, not the
other way around.”

“You’re
right.” Ryan lets out a breath, then smiles. “Wish me luck?”

I
return his smile. “Break a leg.”

“Thanks,”
he says. Then he takes his things and leaves for the audition.

I make
a pot of coffee and some toast to try and settle my stomach. It’s still in
knots from all the alcohol last night, and I’m also nervous for Ryan. I hope
with all my heart that he nails this audition today—he deserves it. I just
can’t silence the small part of me that hopes he doesn’t have to leave.

I could
kick myself for telling him I love him last night. I was obviously not thinking
clearly, because I still don’t know if that’s even what these feelings are.

I go
back and forth in my head in the now familiar yo-yo of “do I, or do I not,” but
the more I think, the more sure I am that my feelings are real. I’m only
kidding myself trying to pretend they’re not.

I take
a shower and muster up the energy to leave and run some errands. I’m so glad I
don’t have to work today, because I don’t have it in me. I know I’ll be
crashing pretty early tonight.

I don’t
remember the last time I went food shopping, so I get some of the staples we
need. I stop at a couple of shops and pick up some fun things, too. I haven’t
bought too many things for myself since moving here, and I’ve been trying to
stay within my budget. I waste a large part of the morning and early afternoon
getting things done, and Ryan is home when I get back.

“How’d
it go?” I ask as soon as I open the door and see him there.

“I
don’t know,” he replies. I’m sure he’s been wondering the same thing all day.
“I think it went well. Sarah seemed happy.”

“When
will you find out?”

“Very
soon. They plan to start filming before the new year. I’m not really sure what
happened with the last guy, but it sounds like they’re in a scramble. Sarah is
sending the audition to them now, and I should hear back… I don’t know, soon.”
He sounds anxious.

“Try
not to sweat it,” I advise, knowing that is not going to happen.

“I
know, I’m trying,” he answers glumly.

“Wanna
get some dinner?” I ask. “I could go for some Chinese.”

At
this, Ryan brightens just a little. “Sure. I wouldn’t mind some take-out.”

I call
and place an order and then put the groceries away. I picked up a bottle of
champagne while I was out, just in case we need to celebrate. I hide it in the
back of the fridge in case we don’t need it. It’s not long before delivery
arrives.

We sit
on the couch while we eat and watch some reality television. We don’t actually
like any of these shows, but we do enjoy making fun of the “actors.” We talk a
lot about what it will be like if Ryan does get the part. He’s very excited and
nervous, and has a lot of mixed emotions about it. I assure him that once he
knows for sure that he is going, he’ll feel much better about it all.

“I just
don’t want to change,” Ryan confides in me. “I’ve seen and read about so many
people who forget who they are and where they came from.”

“You’re
the most honest person I know, and you have the biggest heart,” I tell him.
“Nothing can take that away.”

“Thanks,
Eve. I guess first I should worry about getting the part, and then I can worry
about what will happen after.”

We
finish dinner and clean up. The greasy take-out is exactly what I needed after
last night. We curl up on separate sides of the couch and put on a movie. I
fall asleep shortly after it starts. When I wake up in the middle of the night,
Ryan is gone and I have a blanket over me. He takes such good care of me. How
am I going to live without him again if he leaves?

I get
up off the couch and go to my bedroom. I get in my bed and fall back asleep.