Sticks (Black Addiction #2) (21 page)

“I’m already her bitch.” I took a long pull and let the brew wash down my throat. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as fun as I’d anticipated.

“At least he’s honest.” Max laughed, taking a swig of his.

“I’ve got nothing to say.” Rusty shrugged. “My balls are happily under lock and key.” He paused before taking a big long breath. “The perks are freaking sens-a-tional.”

“Dude, that’s my fucking niece.” Max smacked him across the chest, the old joke about Alison and her family ties working its way into the conversation.

“I keep forgetting.” Rusty laughed, the two of them clinking their beers and taking another drink.

Background music was piped through the PA until the girls were ready to start. The lights dimmed but didn’t go completely black, allowing people to move around the room if they needed to. Not that anyone did when the Beauty Queens finally took the stage.

Four hot women who could legit sing and play? Yeah, no one was going anywhere. Unless it was the bathroom to pull one out. God, I didn’t even want to think about it.

I’d always thought they were talented, but watching Kenzie on stage playing and harmonizing Sara’s vocals gave me a whole new appreciation. It wasn’t just that she didn’t drop a note, or that her playing was flawless, it was that she was perfect on stage. Doing her thing without the unnecessary theatrics, the crowd being drawn in a little further with each bar she played. It was sexy without being slutty, hot without being over the top, and smooth beyond freaking measure.

Even Becca was on point, keeping the sound tight. I couldn’t fault any of them—and neither could the crowd. Their applause shook the foundation as the girls took a bow, the loudest cheer from yours truly.

“Just keep your dick in your pants; this is a nice place and we don’t want to get tossed out,” Rusty whispered as Kenzie stepped off stage, her face shiny from sweat.

“Did he just growl?” Max laughed from the other side, the bastards thoroughly enjoying the fact I needed to nail my feet to the floor so I didn’t attack her the minute she got closer.

“Shut your mouths, I need to kiss my woman.” I grabbed her the minute she was in arms-distance and planted my lips on her so fast she’d barely realized what was happening.

“Thank God he can only get her pregnant once.” Someone laughed from behind us. I’m pretty sure it was Rusty but I didn’t care enough to turn around.

“I guess you liked the show then?” Kenzie pulled her mouth away from mine. “How many times did you almost come? Be honest.” She grinned giving me the same bullshit line I had given her not so long ago.

“My dick is so hard I could drill for oil right now.” Understatement of the fucking century.

“Ewww.” Sara la-la-la’d and plugged her ears. “Someone needs to make them stop.”

“Hey, guys.” The meathead who’d been working on a song with Kenzie appeared from nowhere. His big Sasquatch body taking up like half of the bar.

“Hey, Dom.” Sara launched herself at him like a battering ram, the man mountain not seeming to mind. Well then. I guess we know where his interests lie and thank Christ for that.

A bunch of hi’s-how-are-you’s were thrown around and introductions were made, the dude being as polite as can be as he did the rounds. His eyes only detoured south when he looked at Sara, keeping them face-level when he spoke to the others. Just as well. And not that I gave a shit about the behemoth, but if he was a friend of Kenzie’s then I’d try and play nice.

“Hey, I owe you an apology.” I pulled him aside and stuck out my hand, offering it to him. While I was happy to play nice, I didn’t need a freaking audience.

“It’s cool dude, that’s between you and your girl.” He clapped my palm and gave it a shake. “If she’s cool with you, we’ve got no problems.”

“Yeah, shit is more than cool now.” I nodded toward Kenzie who was laughing with her band oblivious to our secret squirrel meeting. How the hell she’d missed the shift in the Earth’s atmosphere was beyond me.

“Good, because Kenzie is a good friend and anyone who messes with her, messes with me.” The dude squared off his shoulders, in an I-mean-business kind of way.

“Unnecessary, dude. I’d rather rip my own arm off and beat myself with it than hurt that girl.” And I meant every fucking word. Which is why I was going to say the next bit even though I’d rather swallow glass than ask this guy for anything. “Look, I’m heading out of town soon.” Seriously, was I going to do this? “And not that she needs looking after, she’s one of the strongest chicks I know. But it would make me feel better knowing someone with her best interest at heart was keeping an eye out for her.”

“It killed you to say that right now, didn’t it?” He eyed me intently, trying to get a read on me.

“Every fucking word.” I nodded, wishing there was a way I could tear myself in two. “But I need to do what’s best for her and I can’t cancel the tour. I can’t be in two places at once, and if something happened to her or the baby while I’m gone . . .”

“It won’t. And you didn’t need to ask. I was planning on it anyway, but the fact you were man enough to say something has earned you a heap of my respect.” He put out his hand, offering it to me.

“Look at you making new friends.” Kenzie nestled into my side as I finished shaking Dom’s hand. “Either of you want to tell me what is going down?” Her eyes shifted between him and me waiting for one of us to start singing.

“Coke deal, I’m trying to get a better price on the Columbian blow.” I kissed her neck without missing a beat.

“No, seriously.” She jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow, not satisfied with what I thought was a perfectly good answer.

“I can admit when I’m wrong and apologize when I’ve acted like a tool. He seems like a decent enough dude, even if he creates a fucking eclipse when he walks out of his door.” I grinned, fully aware the dude was standing right there.

“You guys have fun.” Dom smirked, making a beeline for Sara. How that even worked out for them was beyond me. She would definitely have to be on top.

“You know.” She wrapped her arms around my neck smiling up at me. “We never really officially got together.”

“Babe, if you think we are anything
but
together then you’re delusional.” I bowed my head and kissed her. This time a little less intense.

“No, I get that.” She snuggled in closer, the feel of her against me—the greatest thing in the fucking world. “But it just sort of happened.”

“Well consider this me making it official.” I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off the ground. My lips on hers were a given.

“Okay, we’re together.” She sighed, her head resting against my shoulder. “Now take me home so we can have sex.”

Joey had left exactly
forty-four hours, thirteen minutes and fifty-three seconds ago. Yes, I was now one of
those
girls.

Our goodbye had been bittersweet. We’d spent almost every minute together until he got on that bus and said goodbye. Every gig I played he was there in the audience. Every night, he was in my bed. We hadn’t decided to be in a relationship, it just sort of grew into one. One day I was single, pregnant and thinking about raising this baby largely by myself, and then all of those things changed. There was no discussion that this was more than just about raising our child together; this was about wanting to be with each other.
Needing
to be with each other.

“You’re not going to be lonely on the road? There will be a million girls who’d be more than happy to help you with that,” I whispered against his back, not liking the insecurity that had crept up from nowhere.

“You’re right, there will be a million. Maybe even more. And none of them will be you. So how will any of those millions of women help me if I’m lonely?” He twisted around and pulled me against him. “Trust me, no one is more surprised at this than me, Kenzie. But I don’t want anyone else.”

That smile.

It had always been my weakness. The way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. In the past I knew it wasn’t mine permanently but now, things were different and he wouldn’t give it to anyone else. He just wouldn’t.

“Stop smiling at me like that.” I playfully shoved against his chest. “It makes it too easy to believe that everything is going to be okay.”

“Look at me.” He tilted his chin so I had no choice but to look him in the eyes. “It’s not so easy to leave you behind. I’m battling my own demons on whether this is the right thing to do when my instincts are telling me to stay here. But I know there aren’t enough miles in the world to change the way I feel.”

He kissed me.

Not like he usually did, it was slower, deeper—like he wanted to capture the memory. His hands moved over my body with the same deliberate intent, each sweep of his fingertips making me tremble.

“Yes.” I breathed, though I had no idea what I actually wanted him to do.

“I want you to remember how I touch you, Kenzie.” Slowly, painfully slow, I felt him across my skin. “Remember, so when you touch yourself while I’m gone you feel my hands, not your own.”

Everywhere. My arms, my legs, my feet—places that shouldn’t be erotic yet were now driving me insane. My neck, my breast, in between my legs—the insanity rose to a new level.

“Remember this, remember how this feels.” His fingers slowly moved against my core, the sensation alone threatening to undo me. “I want my hands on you every single night.”

I nodded because words didn’t have a hope of coming out of my mouth in any way that made sense. My body ached for him to let me finish while my heart never wanted it to stop.

“I want to touch you too.” My hands reached for him, my palms flattening against his chest. “This is what I’ll think about, not just your hands on me but how I’d touch you.”

“Yes,” he moaned as my fingertips glided down his torso and gripped his already hard cock. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

My hand moved up and down his shaft, feeling him thickening with each stroke.

“Joey,” I pleaded; the two fingers that had been circling my entrance were pushed inside of me as his thumb continued to rub against my clit.

“I love to watch you come. I love it against my hand, against my lips but most of all against my cock.” His fingers continued to pump inside of me while my hand worked his length.

“That feels so good . . . So good . . .” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

Hot breath against my skin as I panted, desperate to get closer to him even though it didn’t seem physically possible. And as if he understood, he kissed me; his hands moved from between my legs right as I was about to come and he filled me with his cock. Wrapped in his arms I shattered into a million pieces, feeling him do the same in our private whirlwind.

It was everything.

And I knew I could never say goodbye.

That feeling carried me through the hours since he’d left, hoping it would be enough until he got back.

There were other things that also needed attention before he got back. Things I had put off for far too long.

***

“Kenzie.” My mom wrapped me in one of her trademark hugs as soon as I’d walked into the kitchen.

I’d finally decided to tell my folks. Honestly, it was well past due and while I had skated through to this point with a few baggy tops and clever wardrobe choices, I wanted them to know. Hopefully the fact I had waited so long didn’t add another level to the freak out, but whatever fall-out happened, I’d deal. I was standing behind my decision.

“Hey, Mom, where’s Dad?” I looked around wanting to get it over without having to repeat it. I still had no idea how either of them were going to react to the news their
baby
was going to be having a baby.

“Right here, sweetheart.” My dad emerged from the backroom, his magnifying glasses still fixed to his forehead. “I’m building a destroyer.” The gunmetal gray paint still on his fingers as he pulled me in for a hug of his own. Two parents, two hugs—it was time to get this show on the road.

“Soooooooo.” I swallowed, wondering how the hell to soften the blow. Yep, I had nothing. “I’m pregnant.” I blurted out like almost every time I had made the announcement. You think I’d be better at it by now. Apparently not.

“What?” Both of them answered in unison like they hadn’t just heard their youngest child was knocked up.

“I’m pregnant,” I repeated knowing it didn’t sound any better the second time around. “But this isn’t a bad thing, and I’m in love with the father.”

Wow.

Did I just say I was in love with Joey? Probably should have told him first, not that I was taking it back now. I
was
in love with him. Completely, and it had taken me up till this moment to realize.

“Sweetie, we didn’t even know you were dating someone and now you’re telling us you’re pregnant? This is all a bit sudden.” My mother fluttered her hand at her throat like she always did when she was nervous, the news harder to take because she hadn’t even met the man in question.

“I know, Mom, and I didn’t want to tell you right away because I thought you’d be disappointed in me. But I love this baby, and I love Joey and we’re going to be a family.” The L word was getting a workout now that I’d finally said it, and I wasn’t holding back. I wouldn’t apologize for how I felt and no matter what road we took to get here, this felt right.

“Well, where is this Joey?” My dad’s eyes shot to the closed front door. “You think he’d be standing here beside you instead of sending you here to tell us by yourself.”

“He wanted to be here but it was my choice to come alone. Trust me, he isn’t happy about it either.”

It had been my decision to wait, to tell them alone. While he had spilled to his folks we were expecting, I had yet to tell mine.

It had been so easy for him. Hopped in a car and told his parents they were going to be grandparents. He’d even invited me to go with him but I just couldn’t. Worried their reaction might be lukewarm or subjecting us to disapproving stares. And rejection wasn’t something I could take right now.

Of course none of that happened with both his mom and dad being thrilled he was settling down, and begged to meet me as soon as possible. I’d almost cried when he told me, which just got me more nervous about telling mine. What were the chances they would also be so cool with it? And as much as I didn’t admit it, I didn’t want to subject him to that.

“You know we love you, Kenzie.” My mother slowly lowered herself onto the kitchen chair. “But a baby is a big deal. It’s not something you can take back. We just want to make sure you are doing the right thing.”

It was weird hearing them ask if I was doing the right thing, because for me there was no choice. Not because I didn’t think I had one, but because I hadn’t
wanted
it. Joey, the baby, my future—none of those things was mutually exclusive.

“If by right thing you mean having this child and being with the father, then yes, I’m doing the right thing.” I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. I just wished I’d had the opportunity to tell Joey before he’d left.

“We weren’t suggesting you not have the baby, or not be with him.” My dad who refused to sit gave me a second hug. “We just want to make sure no one is pressuring you. We will support you no matter what.”

“Good, then prepare to be grandparents.”

Next came the inevitable follow up conversation.

How far along was I?

Are we getting married?

Was he going to be gone for the entire duration of my pregnancy?

Why I didn’t move back home to make things easier?

Why hadn’t I taken out medical insurance like they’d asked?

I knew they meant well but it would have been easier without the inquisition. In the end, they’d resigned themselves that I would be doing it my way—as I’d always done—but reminded me that their love and support weren’t far. Something that Sara had told me to expect when I’d first found out.

“Hey.” I answered my phone without checking the caller id, my hands being tied up trying to open the car door. My parents still at the window while I tried to wave and balance the phone with my ear.

“Hey, babe.” Joey’s voice filled my ear. “I’ve missed you.”

“Joey.” It hadn’t been that long since I’d heard him and yet I struggled not to get 1D fangirl crazy as I said that one word. My heart did a summersault in my chest cavity as I tried not to dance in the street. It was a decent neighborhood; they wouldn’t appreciate my crazy.

“So,” his voice rumbled through the phone. “My hand is on my dick.” His sexy laugh told me he probably wasn’t joking.

“It’s two in the afternoon, don’t you have something more important to do?” I laughed as I successfully unlocked my car door and slid into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t easy, especially given I had already pictured him naked, his dick in his hand just as he’d described. I made a mental note not to lick my lips.

“Sure, I’d rather be doing you, but you’re back in New York and I’m in Connecticut sooooooo that just leaves my hand. Unless you want to drive up here—” He deliberately left his sentence trailing.

“I can’t just drive up there.”
Really? It wasn’t that far, two hours tops. I could be there and back before bedtime. No. I couldn’t
. “It will make it harder to say bye when I have to leave. I can’t do another goodbye so soon.”

It had been hard enough a couple of days ago, a piece of me leaving on the bus with him. And as amazing as it would be to see him now, that elation would be short lived when I would have to get in my car and drive home. I’d probably cry too this time, having managed to successfully not cry the first time, and that was
not
happening.

“Fine, just my hand then.” He didn’t sound surprised, knowing full well I’d probably refuse. “You want to talk dirty to me? You should touch yourself too, that’s so hot.”

“I’m driving, I can’t have phone sex and drive.” My hand hit the ignition bringing my engine to life. If there was any doubt I was operating heavy machinery, the rev of the engine would help put that to rest. I probably hit the gas a little harder than was needed as I pulled out into traffic.

“You are just shitting on all my ideas today.” He puffed out a breath seemingly exasperated before chuckling. “Okay, I’ll compromise. Don’t touch yourself but tell me what you would do if you could.”

Ironically, if I had him in arms distance, sex would be the last thing on my mind. He could get me from zero to a hundred with just that sexy smile but right now, I wanted something else.

“I’d hold you Joey, and then ask you to hold me. And fall asleep listening to your beating heart knowing that you would be right there when I woke up.”

I didn’t even care how desperate it made me sound, I was done hiding my feelings and while our first
I love yous
wouldn’t be done on a telephone, I couldn’t hide how much I cared. How much he meant to me.