Stilettos & Stubble (19 page)

‘Now that’s just
being ‘
sizeist
’.  He struggled with the word as he steadied himself
against the breakfast bar.  ‘Cupid doesn’t look at feet and inches when he
shoots his arrow.’

I slammed his
coffee down in front of him, ‘Drink that now!  And stop acting like a dick.’

He picked up his
cup, winced at the heat and put it back down again.  ‘You just need some time
to get used to the idea.  Once you give it some serious thought you’ll realise
that I’m right.’

‘Tom, listen to
me.’  I spoke to him in the same way that I’d reason with Isla or Jo Jo if I
was baby-sitting.  ‘Just last week you were saying how taken you were with
Diana and that it was just the high maintenance thing that put you off.  Have
you
bothered
to call her since your last date?  Do you even
know
what she’s been up to?’

‘No!’  He shook
his head, slowly and carefully, and sounded like a sulky child stubbornly refusing
to put his toys away.  ‘It’s over.  I want
you
.’

I’d really heard
it all.  He still had no idea the lengths Diana had gone to for him and he also
had no idea how right they might be for one another.

‘Oh Tom, just
drink your coffee and go will you?  It’s been a long night and I really need to
get some sleep.  I have a sneaking feeling that you might just regret all this
in the morning.  But, as your friend, I’ll forgive you and never mention it
again.  OK?’

He slurped noisily
at his coffee with his drunken eyes narrowed, swaying dangerously on his
stool.  Suddenly he sprung to life and slammed his mug back onto the breakfast
bar.  ‘I think I should go - feeling a bit bleurgh now.  But I meant what I
said, Perce.  You’ll see for yourself if you give it some thought.  Life’s too
short to be lonely.’  He pushed himself up and weaved precariously towards the
door, careering off walls as he went.

After several
steps forward, followed by a couple backwards, he eventually managed to make it
to the front door and turned to look at me, leaning exhausted against the
wall.  ‘I’ll give you a ring tomorrow, oh lovely Persephone.  We can start to
plan our life.’  He lurched towards me in a last ham-fisted attempt at a kiss
and I managed to dodge him whilst successfully opening the door and depositing
him firmly outside.

Slamming the door
shut, I slumped up against it exhausted.

I didn’t envy the
hangover or inevitable waves of shame that Tom would be feeling the next day,
but it would serve him right.  I dragged my tired body to the bathroom to clean
my teeth, thinking over the events of the night.

Three men, two
who
thought
they wanted me and one who
knew
he didn’t.

As I settled on
my lumpy sofa with Bogey purring manically in my ear, I found myself wondering
where things had gone so wrong with Luke.  Then, the more I thought about it
all, the more cross I became.  My evening had been disastrous from start to
finish and I’d allowed three men to totally dominate it.

I turned huffily
on the sofa, pulling the duvet sharply around me and sending Bogey flying.  My
disgruntled cat scarpered out of the room and I was left alone with my
miserable thoughts.

Chapter
Nineteen

Summer turned
quickly to autumn, Dad moved out, Tom disappeared into thin air, Diana remained
broken hearted, and any thoughts that I might have a romantic encounter with
Luke turned to dust.

I’d tried on
numerous occasions to contact Tom - not only to put the whole silly debacle
behind us but also to try to pave the way for Diana.  He was obviously laying
low and licking his wounds, hoping the shame of his drunken declaration of love
would fade into history.

As for Dave, he
seemed to have got the message and had backed off with his innuendo and
flirting.  In fact, I’d been feeling a little worried about him.  His spark
seemed to have gone and he was asking for more and more nights off, leaving me
to re-arrange the rota and find replacement acts.

Lubov always
agreed to extra performances, as he needed the money to send home to his family,
but it was essential to keep the show fresh and varied or our regulars would
lose interest.

I was just doing
battle with the following week’s line-up when Tittie stormed into the office
and threw himself onto the chair next to me.  ‘Annie won’t be in tonight. 
We’ll need to put someone else on in his slot.’

‘Oh for goodness
sake, Tittie!’  I threw my pen onto the desk and sat back in despair.  ‘I can’t
keep filling in gaps with the amount of acts we’re working with.  This is the
third time in two weeks that Annie’s been off.  Is he not
well
?’

Tittie shook his
head and looked down at his immaculate fingernails.  ‘I don’t know
what’s
up with him.  He just keeps shutting me out.  Everything was great for a while after
our mini-break and now he’s gone all moody and quiet again.’

‘Well, you have
my sympathy, Tittie, but we really need to do something about the club.  Takings
are down and I honestly think it’s because we’re not delivering enough variety
any more.’

‘I keep trying to
talk to him, Perce, but I get nowhere.  He’s a stubborn old bugger.’  Tittie
attempted a brave smile but no hint of it reached his eyes.

‘Well he might be
stubborn but that’s not going to help running this place.  There’s a pile of post
for him over there that hasn’t been opened.  I reckon there’s about three weeks’
worth.  I can only do
so
much and I’m beginning to get my knickers in a
twist with all the juggling.  Don’t you think it might be time to start
auditioning some new acts?’

Tittie stood and
stretched, pouring us both a small brandy from the ever-present supply.  ‘I
just don’t know any more, Sweet Cheeks, I just don’t know.  Do what you think’s
right and let’s hope we get the old Annie back soon.’

*****

Far from getting
the old Annie back, things went from bad to worse.

Annie came in
less and less and then Tittie began to follow suit.  The post continued to pile
up and a number of ominous brown envelopes began to appear.  Takings were
depressingly low and I constantly felt like I was fighting a losing battle.

Lady, Vi, Ma and
Lubov did their best to keep the shows fresh and different and, with the
occasional performance from Betty, we were muddling through.

But muddling
through wasn’t going to pay their wages and I’d decided to take drastic action
and audition for three new acts.  I figured that would be enough to inject a
little extra spice and get us back on track.  If Annie came back and decided he
didn’t like them, it was just tough.  I was doing everything in my power to
save the reputation of his club and boost income and was rapidly beginning to
feel a little out of my depth.

It was a chilly
October afternoon and I’d managed to bribe Lady and Vi into coming in early to
help me with the auditions.  Never having found myself in that role before, I
didn’t really have a clue what I was looking for but I
did
know that it
was important to choose acts that the others would get on with.  I didn’t need
any more dramas backstage.

We’d sat through
several rather dodgy performances which I knew were not up to The Glove’s
standard and I refused to be compromised out of desperation.  I’d rather liked
one called Bo Locks but Vi shook his head and said, ‘Over my dead body!  She’s
known for low-down and dirty tricks that one.  Rumour has it she once concealed
a needle in a queen’s lipstick to rip her lips apart just before going on
stage.  No way are we taking that nasty piece of work on.  Next!’

And so we saw act
after act and I became more and more disheartened.  If Vi or Lady didn’t like
them, or knew of their reputation, I had to sit through the full run down of
their supposed crimes, who they’d upset or why their material was below par.

‘Ginger Fudge’
seemed to be our one saving grace with original material, a great singing voice
and a bubbly personality.  He was currently doing three nights at another club
but agreed to a few sessions with us.  He gave us a printout of songs which he
favoured and we crossed off any that were already part of The Glove’s repertoire.

‘There’s no way
you’re doing ‘Big Spender’ cos that’s
mine
and, if you even dare to
whistle
‘I Am What I Am’, Tittie will have your balls for earrings.’  Vi smiled sweetly
and then added, ‘Apart from that, I think we’ll be just fine and dandy!’

Ginger left,
agreeing to start the following night, and our search for fresh blood continued. 
Some were turned down because they were ‘too pretty’, some ‘pig ugly’, but I
trusted Vi and Lady’s judgment and listened to their comments, learning as I
went.

By five o’clock
we’d managed to secure two other acts and I was feeling quietly confident.  ‘Peculiar
Tart’ was possibly the crudest of the bunch but we felt it was time to take a
risk and the talents of ‘Fanny Fiddle’ and her violin restored the balance and
added the ‘class’ factor.

‘Phew!  Thanks
guys.  Let’s hope we made the right decisions,’ I said nervously as I packed up
my notes and files.  ‘Fancy a quick drink across the road before you get your
slap on?  My treat, for helping me out.’

‘Sounds fab,
Perce.’  Lady grabbed his denim jacket and Vi followed us out.

‘We should be
buying
you
a drink, anyway.  If this place closes, we’ll be stuffed. 
Nobody wants to take on old queens now.  We’re fit for the knacker’s yard,’ Vi
said as we crossed the road to the pub.

‘You bloody well
speak for yourself, Madam,’ Lady spat back.  ‘I’ve got years in me yet and so
has The Glove.’  There’s no way we’re closing down, so hush your filthy mouth. 
The first round’s on me.’

I only hoped Lady
was right.  Because I’d been doing the books and things were looking pretty
grim.

*****

‘Oooh, Perce! 
Isn’t that the bloke who helped us sort the club out after the fight?  You
know, the one you went on a couple of dates with?  The huge one in the corner
there.  Jeepers, he’s a fine looking specimen, isn’t he?’

‘The Queen’s
Head’ was buzzing for early evening and I had to scan the crowds to see if Vi
was right.  Sure enough, there in the corner, was Luke looking as stunning as
always in an immaculately cut suit and pristine white shirt open at the
collar.  Vi was right, he was quite a looker and I felt my heart rise and then
sink just as rapidly.  I’d really liked him and thought the feeling was mutual but,
as always, it had fallen in a heap.

‘Yep, that’s him,
Vi,’ I said as nonchalantly as I could.  ‘It didn’t work out between us, it’s
no great shakes.  Let’s go and sit in the far corner, shall we?’  I made for
the area of the pub furthest from Luke and his crowd as I had no intention of
talking to him and stirring up old feelings.  He was history.

We settled at a
small table and I positioned myself strategically with my back to Luke.  I
didn’t want to look at him and I didn’t want him to see me.  I raised my glass
to Lady and Vi in a toast.  ‘Well here’s to us.  And keeping The Glove afloat.’

‘The Glove!’  They
echoed my toast and we drank in silence for a while.  It had been a long
afternoon and we clearly all felt in need of alcoholic sustenance.  Eventually Lady
slammed his glass on the table and wiped the back of his mouth with his hand. 
‘Your round, Percy.  We could do with another, I reckon.’

I really didn’t
want to go to the bar and run the risk of bumping into Luke at any time, but
particularly not on a day when I was in torn jeans, baggy T-shirt and with a
slap-free face.  The last time we’d met, I’d been ‘beauty parlour perfect’ and
he hadn’t even liked
that.

Trying to bribe
the queens to go to the bar for me was fruitless, as they gave endless excuses
ranging from sore feet to throbbing haemorrhoids, so I gave up and slunk off to
get the drinks.

And I ended up
side by side with the enemy.

I employed the
classic ‘looking the other way and pretending to be oblivious’ ruse but it
didn’t work.

‘Hey, Percy!’ 
His hand was on my arm.  ‘I didn’t recognise you there.  You look great.  How
have you been?’

I turned to face
him and took in the beauty of all his suited and booted glory.  ‘Oh Hi, Luke. 
I’m good thanks.’  I aimed for bright and breezy with a hint of ‘terribly busy’
as I looked from him to my watch and then over to our table.  ‘Nice suit.  Got
a new job?’

He shuffled
uncomfortably, pulling at the collar of his shirt.  ‘Erm, no.  No new job. 
I’ve just come from an interview, that’s all.’  He leaned across to retrieve
his tray of drinks.  ‘See you around.’  The smile he shot me melted my heart
and had me longing for another chance at rekindling what I’d thought we’d both
felt, but I knew that that was the stuff of fairy tales and not the way things
worked in real life - particularly mine.  I ordered my round and returned to
the queens.

‘We saw you,
fraternising with Prince Charming,’ Vi joked.  ‘Is he gonna give Cinders
another shot?  Make sure you give us enough warning to get our wedding hats,
won’t you?  I quite fancy myself in a saucy little fascinator for a change.’

Vi’s words sounded
distant and yet sparked a picture in my mind as I depressed myself even further
by imagining the perfect wedding day that would never be.

*****

Back at the club
I threw myself into my work in an effort to take my mind off things.  I’d
updated the website with pictures of the new acts and emailed Annie and Tittie
to inform them of the changes.

Neither of them had
been picking up my calls to their mobiles or landline and I was beginning to
feel a bit put upon.  It was all very well trusting me to run the club, but the
responsibility was starting to weigh quite heavily and the brown envelopes and
unopened letters were silently taunting me in the corner.  What if there was
stuff that needed dealing with urgently and I was totally ignorant of it all?

I tried Annie’s mobile
for the umpteenth time that day and hung up when there was no answer.  This
couldn’t go on much longer.  I hadn’t had a night off in three weeks and I was
totally shattered.  I also needed to discuss Christmas shows with Annie and
start to plan our festive programmes.

I decided to call
Daddy.  He’d know what to do and would give calm, impartial advice.  But, as
was now so often the case, it also rang into voicemail and I was forced to
leave a message.  My dad seemed to have more of a social life than me and,
although I was pleased for him, I missed him.  I missed our chats and quiet
drinks together.

Feeling a huge
and unexpected gush of daughterly duty, I dialled my mother’s number.  I
certainly wasn’t ringing for advice or pep talks from
her
but I’d realised
it had been weeks since I’d spoken to her and felt that I at least owed her a
catch-up call.

In contrast to my
other calls, I felt nothing but relief when she didn’t pick up and sat back in
my chair with a world-weary sigh.  I was tired of having to deal with everything
by myself.  The girls had been great helping me with the auditions but that was
only the tip of the iceberg.  So much was hanging by a thread and keeping it
all together was a lonely business.