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Authors: Amanda Egan

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BOOK: Stilettos & Stubble
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Even with
everything in ruins around us, there was no stopping Betty taking advantage of
an opportunity.

 

 

*****

 

 

Luke returned
half an hour later to find me sweeping shattered glass and putting all the
broken chairs and tables to one side.  I was slightly self-conscious about him
seeing me minus my finery and wearing baggy old faded dungarees and Converse
trainers, but I could hardly have knuckled down to the work in a velvet maxi
dress.

 

‘Sorted.’  He
said.  ‘Got about four blokes coming in an hour.  And when you look at it now,
it’s not really
that
bad.’

 

He was right, of
course.  Once the furniture had been mended, the carpets cleaned and I’d
stocked up on some new glasses no one would be any the wiser.

 

‘Thank you so
much, Luke.  You’ll need to send me the bill and I’ll try to settle it as soon
as I can.’  I flopped on one of the remaining intact chairs, praying that I
didn’t look the wreck that I felt and wondering how on earth I was going to
find the money to pay for the work.

 

Luke sat himself
down next to me.  ‘I don’t need paying, Percy.  I told you the guys owe me
and
I’ve arranged for one of them to bring about two dozen wine glasses.  They seem
to be the ones you lost most of.’

 

He really was a
decent guy and his actions brought yet another lump to my throat.  The shock of
all that had happened began to kick in and I felt the tears threatening again. 
Brushing them away, I went to the bar to get the brandy bottle and topped both
our glasses up.

 

‘Why?  Why would
you do all this for me?  Nobody does anything for free.’

 

He took the glass
I offered him and smiled. ‘I like you Percy.  That’s all.  And it’s no big deal
- I do things for people I like.’

 

‘Well it’s a
pretty bloody big deal for
me
.  It could end up saving me my job.  So I
can’t thank you enough.’  I raised my glass to him in a toast and then drank
greedily.

 

‘Thank me by
coming on a date with me.’  He leaned forwards in his chair, the chair that
seemed way too small for him, and I found myself catching my breath.

 

‘Go on.  You owe
me!’  He smiled cheekily.  ‘You never rang me so I came here hoping I’d see you
tonight and it’s just as well I did.  Where would you be without me?’

 

He really did
want to go on a date!  And he’d only come that night in the hope of seeing me! 
That had to be a good thing, surely?

 

‘Well …’  I
started falteringly.  ‘OK, but only if it’s my treat.  Just by way of thanks.’ 
I stood up feeling more than a little shaky and he stood and joined me.

 

‘We’ll see
Percy.  We’ll see.  So lunch tomorrow then?  By the time we’re done, this place
will be up and ready for business again.  I’ll meet you at ‘The Queen’s Head’
at midday and we’ll head off from there.  OK?’

 

I nodded and
gulped.  I appeared to have a date with a rather hunky young man.  Out of the
carnage of the club and the horrible night I’d had, some good had come.

 

‘Yep, noon at the
pub,’ I said in as cool a manner as I could muster.  ‘Right, I’ll hang around
until your blokes arrive to check out the damage and then get this place locked
up and head home for some sleep.  Don’t expect me to look totally awake
tomorrow though!’  I was reluctant to end our chat but I knew I needed to calm
down and be quiet with my thoughts for a while and mentally plan my outfit for
lunch.  Luke had only ever seen me looking ultra-glam and the daytime casual
look might not go down so well.

 

‘See you tomorrow
then.’  Luke was making for the door and I feasted on the sight of his broad
back and shoulders.  I have to admit I also allowed myself a sneaky little
glance at his taut bum as he went.  As he reached the exit he turned and gave
me a little salute.  ‘Nice look by the way, it suits you.’

 

And with that he
was gone, draining the club, and my life, of light and the feeling of wellbeing
that he’d managed to restore to my shambles of a night.  I looked down feeling
totally exhausted and took in my tatty shoes and ripped dungarees.

 

Shit! 
 I ran to the huge floor length mirror at the back of the stage.

 

My hair could
have housed a family of sparrows, my eyeliner was everywhere except under my
eyes, and my face was smudged with dirt and grease.

 

A nice look? 
He must have been taking the piss.  How could
that
be a good
look?

 

I attempted a
smile at myself in the reflection and held my hair up from my face, turning my head
this way and that.  My eyes were twinkling and I thought I actually looked
quite pretty.  I attempted a sultry little pout and suddenly the smudges on my
nose and the workman style clothes looked almost cute.

 

Ha ha!  With my
hands on my hips and a final wink at myself, I put on my best sexy wiggle,
switched off the lights and headed to the office to wait for Luke’s troops.

 

 

 

Chapter
Sixteen

 

 

I’d managed to
get an early morning call in to Mia and beg her to come round to help me decide
what to wear for my lunch date.  I still didn’t have the confidence to put an
outfit together without some sort of assistance and I wanted to make a good impression.

 

‘Well I’ll come over
Perce, but there’s no nursery today so I’m afraid I’ll have Isla and Jo Jo in
tow.  If you can bear being interrupted every five minutes, I’m the girl for
the job.’

 

Which was why we
found ourselves shortly after in my bedroom, bed piled high with unsuitable clothes,
Mia tottering round in my heels and Jo Jo glued to an ‘In the Night Garden’
DVD.

 

‘So come on,
Perce, what’s the goss?  Who is this guy, what’s he like, what does he do, is he
gorgeous?  I want to know the lot.’  Mia was flicking through my wardrobe and
she chucked a black chiffon tunic at me.  ‘Bung this on with those trousers
while you’re filling me in, it should look perfect.’

 

Years of
undressing in front of Mia had left me immune to any shame.  She’d seen me in
gym knickers, unflattering regulation school swimming costumes and half dead
with flu in my mankiest pyjamas.

 

I, in turn, had
seen her in labour with the kids - when she’d still managed to look petite and
glam - and bruised and battered after she’d had her wisdom teeth out.  We knew
one another inside and out, warts and all and I never felt that Mia was judging
me or smirking at my size, as so many of the other girls at our school had
done.

 

I zipped up the
trousers and slipped the top over my head, fluffing my hair back into place. 
‘He’s called Luke, he’s
huge
, a nice guy and … well I guess that’s all I
know really  Apart from the fact that he hangs out with a group of toffee-nosed
gits.’  I struck a pose and smiled. ‘Well, what d’you think?   Will this wow
him?’

 

Mia cocked her head
to one side and studied me.  ‘Hmm.  Looks a bit funereal for a lunch.  Try this
pink one with those trousers and then I can have a go at your hair.’

 

She was right,
the pink was much better and Isla stopped and looked up at me.  ‘You look
pretty, Auntie Percy.  Pink is my favourite colour.  Have you got Barbie
knickers on?  My Barbie knickers are my lucky ones.  It’s always Play-Doh day
at nursery when I wear them.  I can lend you mine if you like.’

 

Mia and I looked
at one another desperately trying to suppress our giggles.

 

‘So what d’ya
reckon, Perce?  Lucky Barbie knickers?’  Mia asked.

 

I bent and
stroked Isla’s hair.  ‘Thanks for the offer, Sweetie, but I think I’ll stick
with my magic knickers.’

 

This, of course,
led to a whole new conversation when Isla looked at me wide-eyed and said, ‘You
have
magic
knickers, Auntie Percy?  Can we swap?’

 

 

*****

 

 

It was draining
trying to keep up the pretence of being ladylike.  Lunch was going well but remembering
to take dainty little mouthfuls and topping up my pale pink lippie was turning
into a bit of a chore.  The usual look for me was jeans, T-shirt and a face
devoid of slap but I could hardly turn up to a lunch date looking like that.

 

Luke was easy to
talk to and an attentive listener.  The conversation flowed effortlessly and we
laughed quite a lot, which I was grateful for.  I’d spent too many dates in
awkward silence, desperately trying to fill the gaps and checking my watch for
the acceptable time to go home - or to let the poor bugger off from his agony.

 

When he started
asking questions about my writing, I knew I had to come clean.  Lying didn’t
come easily to me and I knew the deeper I dug myself in, the worse it would
get.

 

‘Well, I wasn’t
totally honest with you, I’m afraid.’  I dabbed delicately at my mouth with my
serviette, the way my mother had taught me, playing for time and smiling
sweetly.  ‘I’m not
really
a writer.  Well, not a proper one.  I don’t
have an agent
or
a publisher but I
have
written a crappy romance
novel.’

 

As soon as it was
out in the open I felt a lot better and Luke’s response made me feel even more
relieved.

 

‘Nothing to be
ashamed of there, Percy.  At least you’ve actually completed a book.  I know
loads of people who talk about writing but never get round to putting pen to
paper.  I’d say that’s a huge achievement.’

 

Well, I guess
when you looked at it like that, he was right.  And surely I could only get
better?  I went on to tell him how the queens at the club had thought my book
was hilarious.

 

‘Of course that
wasn’t the intention at all - which was a bit galling - but it’s given them all
the idea to write their own gay erotica.’

 

Luke choked on
his lager and quickly put his glass on the table.  ‘Oh boy!  I’ve got nothing
against gays, and I’m certainly no homophobe, but I just don’t like to think
about … you know …
that
kind of stuff!’

 

I nodded in
agreement.  ‘I know and, trust me, you wouldn’t want to read
some
of
what they’ve written!  I reckon it might bring a tear to your eye.’

 

Luke shuddered
and quickly changed tack.  ‘Yeah, let’s just leave that subject there, shall
we?  Why do you say your book was crappy?  What was so wrong with it?’

 

I paused,
scratched my head furiously and then remembered that wasn’t terribly feminine
so I smoothed my hair into place again and sat with my best straight back. 
Mother would have been proud!

 

‘I think it was
so bad because I was trying desperately for it to be a huge love story with totally
perfect people.  Not things I know too much about really.’  I made an attempt
at a self-deprecating guffaw but it sounded a little too horsey so I stopped. 
‘I might have another go and leave out some of the puke-inducing stuff next
time.’

 

‘Well you seem
like a pretty determined person to me, so I’m sure you’ll get there in the
end.’

 

I was pleased
that he thought that of me - it certainly beat ‘flaky and fickle and drifting
through life’, which is what I’d considered myself to be up until very
recently.

 

‘So what about
you?  You never did get around to telling me what you do?  I was eager to know
more about him, beyond the bog standard ‘flat share in Chelsea, father and
sister in the country, went to Bristol university’ that I’d already discovered.

 

He quickly
gestured for the bill and removed his wallet from his back pocket.  ‘I told
you, Percy, I’m between jobs.’

 

‘Yeah but what
did you do your degree in?  Where did you last work?’  I was like a dog with a
bone and I wanted some answers.  If he was a gigolo or a used car salesman,
this wasn’t going to go much further.

 

He leaned forward
and looked at me with a twinkle in his eye.  ‘I was right when I said you were
determined, wasn’t I?  Good grief!  If you
must
know, my degree was in
Business and my last job was with my father’s company - property development. 
Satisfied?  I’m not an axe murderer or a tax inspector.  OK?’

 

‘Well then I’m
very pleased to hear it.  But I’m picking up the bill - it’s not easy being
unemployed.  Believe me, I know.’

 

He raised his
hand to stop me reaching for my purse and shook his head.  ‘No Percy.  This is
on me.  It’s been fun.  You can pay next time.’

 

Next time?  He
wanted there to be a Round Two!

 

I put my bag back
on the floor and tried to remain poised.  ‘OK. Yes … erm … good.  Yes, very good. 
I’ll do
next
time.’

 

Just the thought
filled me with a bubble of excitement.  He liked me enough to give me another
whirl!  Boy, this ‘playing girlie’ lark might be exhausting but it obviously
paid off.

 

The bill settled,
we set off for the walk back to the club to check that everything had been
satisfactorily repaired for that night’s opening.  As we dodged the traffic to
cross the road, Luke laid a protective hand on my waist and he didn’t move it
once we hit the pavement.

 

It felt
good

It felt
right
and I looked up at him and smiled.  It wasn’t often
that
happened! Looking
up
at someone was a very rare occurrence for
me and the face that I looked into was really rather gorgeous.  I had to stop
an involuntary little gasp.  He was
hot
and he wanted to see me again -
that made me one lucky lady.

 

But I realised
that fortune really
was
shining down on me when we entered the night
club.  The guys were just finishing up and the place was looking immaculate.  Nobody
would ever have guessed what had gone on the night before and I felt a wave of
relief.

 

‘Oh wow!  Thank
you so much - all of you - and you too, Luke.  I don’t know what I’d have done
without you.’

 

Luke simply
shrugged and looked uncomfortable.  ‘I told you, it’s nothing.  You guys can
get off now,’ he called to the workers tidying away their tools and then he
went over and had a quiet word to them.  I was straining to hear what was said
but it was impossible - and for a fleeting moment I thought I may have seen him
put his hand to his pocket and pass something to one of them.

 

If it was cash,
I’d be upset.  He’d said they owed him a favour and I didn’t want him to have
to be out of pocket.

 

When he returned
to me I was left with no chance to ask the question as he instantly hit me with
his own.

 

‘It’s your night
off tomorrow, isn’t it?  Don’t the owners get back?  What d’you say to hitting
the town?’

 

What did I say?! 
I said ‘Yes.’  Very much yes!

 

 

*****

 

 

I was just about
dead on my feet when I got home that night so was not best pleased to find
Dopey Diana waiting on my doorstep again.

 

It took me a
while to realise that it was her, as she was a shadow of her former self.  Gone
were the extensions, the fake tan, lashes and nails - she was make up free and
looking tinier than ever in a sloppy tracksuit and flat ballet pumps.

 

She must have
noticed my reaction because she smiled shyly and asked if she could come in for
a while.

 

‘I mean, I know
it’s terribly late Percy but I need a little advice,’ she added.

 

I opened the
front door and flicked the lights on.  Dad was obviously still out and Bogey
ran to me with a purr and a clumsy thud against my leg.

 

‘Come through to
the kitchen, Diana.  I’ll get us both a drink.’  I chucked my keys and bag on
the hall table and, kicking my heels off, padded barefoot to the kitchen.

 

Once seated at
the breakfast bar, I could take in the full transformation of my neighbour - and
it was pretty extreme.  She accepted the glass of wine I’d poured and then
cleared her throat.  ‘Well, what do you think?’

 

‘Well … you look
great but … Diana, I have to ask the question.  Why?’

 

Diana flushed a
little - not the massive beetroot red
I
was renowned for - just a subtle
little tint of colour.  I made a mental note to try to perfect that technique,
it was far more flattering.

 

She smoothed her now
shoulder length hair behind her ears and leant forward on the stool.  The huge
bosoms were still firmly in place but I guess there was only so far she could
turn back time.  ‘I really like Tom, Percy,’ she almost whispered, as if he were
in the room next door and might hear.  ‘He’s a decent guy and I kind of got the
impression that he liked me too but that he was a bit put off by all the added gloss
- so I made the changes for
him
.’  Her pretty eyes suddenly filled with
tears and she flapped her hand in front of her face to try to stop them.  ‘Oh
Percy!  He hasn’t called and I really wanted to see him again.  To see if he
liked me more like this.  Why do I always stuff up?’

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