Stone - Big Girls & Bad Boys (3 page)

“That would work out well.  Bobby would kill you and me too probably,” I argued feebly.  It only served to provide an opening for Stone.

“So, you’re not opposed to going out with me?” he asked.  I finished my errand and returned to my stool with a beer.

“That’s not the point,” I argued.

“Isn’t it?  I can handle your ex-boyfriend.  He’s just an angry boy,” Stone boasted but I was sure he could back that up for some reason.  I was suddenly worried.  Worried about the fact I was actually considering Stone’s proposition.  Worried what Bobby would do if he found out.  But Stone was a cocky son of a bitch.  Ex-boyfriend?  Was he kidding?

“He’s a dangerous man,” I countered.  Bobby wasn’t that old but he was angry and often disregarded concern for his own safety.  He was a loaded gun with a hair trigger.  He was young and ready for a fight.

“You let me worry about Bobby,” he said and the statement carried some kind of finality with it.  I felt, almost like I did when I met Bobby, that a decision had been made and I wasn’t totally a part of it.  Stone was sure I wasn’t going to turn him down and he was probably right.  Good decisions weren’t my forte.

“I...um...,” was all I managed to say.  Stone smiled, more of a satisfied smirk really.  He took the beer bottle from my hand and set it aside.  Then he reached out, took a handful of my hair and pulled me to him.  He paused, giving me a moment to lose myself in his flinty, blue eyes.  Then he kissed me, his beard tickling my face.  I gave into his demanding kiss, basking in its scorching insistence.  Then he broke the kiss and let me go.  I didn’t go far.

“You were saying?” he asked.  I giggled despite myself and shook my head to gain some clarity.

“Your beard tickles,” I said at a loss for anything of substance to say.

“You should feel it on your inner thighs, Maria,” he said without a hint of shame.  I, however, blushed but I couldn’t bring myself to look away from Stone’s eyes.  I was shaken to my core, doubting everything I thought I knew about myself and my life.  One thought dominated the rest and I felt compelled to express it.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.  A surge of heat crept through me as I did.  A surge of excitement and daring.  This was probably a terrible idea but I couldn’t resist following my heart in this case.

“Why don’t we go find out,” Stone replied and held out his hand.  I looked down at it, his arm covered in tattoos that disappeared into the sleeve of his t-shirt.  I hesitated for a moment but then put my hand in his.  I sighed as he squeezed my hand and tugged me off my stool towards the unknown.  Moments later, I was on the back of Stone’s big, fat-tired chopper, swept up in what felt like a tornado.

I held on for dear life as Stone gave the bike gas and we ripped down the street and away from the Knight’s clubhouse.  I felt as if I was running but whether it was away from something or towards something, I wasn’t sure.  All I knew was I clung to Stone as if I might lose him.  I didn’t want to lose this man, though I hardly knew him.  In just the few minutes we spoke, I felt something I had rarely felt in the past.  He made me feel like I mattered.

“Where are we going?” I asked, shouting over the wind rushing past.

“I have no idea but we’ll find out together,” he said as he hit the freeway on ramp and headed west.  I found I didn’t really care where we were headed and I suspected Stone didn’t care much either, that he honestly was just letting his gut guide us on our way.  I loved being on the back of a motorcycle, even with Bobby.  It was exhilarating and exciting.  It was freedom.

We headed into the heart of Orange County, Stone choosing freeways to follow seemingly at random.  We rode past Disneyland but I could only just barely see the tip of the Matterhorn.  We rode for well over an hour.  I was never bored.  I loved riding.  Even when the freeway traffic came to a halt, we threaded our way between the cars until traffic opened up again.  Stone took us off the freeway and soon we arrived at the coast, Huntington Beach.

“Can we stop?” I asked him as we cruised the Pacific Coast Highway past the endless beach.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied.  Stone pulled into the parking lot that paralleled the beach.  Behind us were towers that belonged to some kind of power plant.  Stone parked, shut down his bike and we climbed off.  I shook my black hair out after removing my helmet.

“I can smell it,” I remarked.

“The ocean?” Stone asked.

“Yeah.  I love that smell.  The breeze feels so good.  I love the ocean but I never make the trip,” I told him.  The trip would have taken an hour in most places but having to travel through the sprawling metropolis on traffic choked freeways turned the trip into two hours and more sometimes.

“I come here to surf about once a month,” he told me.  I laughed as we began to walk along the seawall.

“Shut up,” I replied playfully.  Stone cocked an eyebrow and stared at me.

“What?” he asked.

“Surfing.  That’s funny,” I said.  Bikers, at least the bikers I knew, didn’t surf.

“I’m not kidding.  I grew up in Oceanside.  I’ve been surfing since I was a kid,” he told me.  I closed my mouth after it had fallen open.

“Really?” I shot back, still skeptical.

“Really,” Stone told me.  I had a hard time imagining that.  He was in big riding boots, faded jeans, a white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a leather vest.  His dark hair was styled like some kind of fifties heartthrob.  His beard was full and long.  He didn’t look like a surfer.

I had time to think on our way to the beach.  I couldn’t help but wonder what Stone had in mind for me.  He knew I was with Bobby yet he asked me out.  Even I could admit that my relationship with Bobby wasn’t ideal.  But it was preferable to my life with my mom and stepdad.  It was preferable to being alone.  Being Bobby’s old lady gained me access to the club, my family of sorts.  I fit in there.  I didn’t have to put on an act.  They accepted me for who and what I was.

Not that my mom or stepdad didn’t accept me.  They just flat didn’t care.  I was just there, a focus for my stepfather’s anger and a ride to the liquor store when my mom was too drunk to drive herself.  Bobby, even with his faults, was a way out of that situation.  I knew I should want better but Bobby was better than the alternative so I put up with him.  He was generally attracted to my full figure, and that felt nice, and sometimes he treated me well enough.

But here was Stone.  I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me.  I mean, I could imagine what he might want.  Even though I wasn’t always pleased with my round and busty figure, I knew some men preferred a girl with curves.  But what did he really want?  More importantly, why did I agree to come along with Stone?  Why did I go out with him?  There was no doubt that Stone was different.  That intrigued me.

“So, what’s this all about?” I asked as we strolled along the paved path at the edge of the sand.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Why did you ask me out?  You know I’m with Bobby,” I said.

“I like you.  You deserve better,” he replied.

“So you mean to steal me away from him?  What makes you think I want to leave Bobby?” I wondered, a hint of challenge in my voice.

“That’s exactly what I mean to do.  He’s a loser.  He’s trouble.  I can’t stand watching him treat you like a dog.  It’s all I can do not to beat his ass every time he orders you to get him another beer.  If you want to be with a man like that, I’ve misjudged you,” Stone said.  I gasped, shocked at his plain language.  I wasn’t sure how to respond.

Everyone in the club had formed an opinion about Bobby and me but they didn’t talk about it.  That was part of the deal.  The club was about brotherhood and good times.  It wasn’t relationship counseling.  There were just some things that weren’t discussed and unless things got real bad, how a member treated his old lady was off limits.  But Stone, apparently, didn’t adhere to that code.

“You’re full of opinions about things you don’t know all that much about,” I said.  I’m sure it sounded defensive and I’m not sure I wasn’t challenging Stone.

“Do you love him?” Stone asked.

“What are you my therapist?” I shot back.  Yeah, I was getting defensive but it wasn’t intentional.  Part of me just didn’t want to hear the truth.  I wasn’t the only one that noticed I didn’t answer Stone’s question.

“I’ll take your lack of a response as a no,” he said.  The shocking and satisfying kiss from earlier was forgotten.  I was beginning to question my decision to go with this man.  Honestly, I was just plain confused.  Stone spoke to me in ways I rarely enjoyed and part of me didn’t want to hear that.

“It’s really none of your business,” I told him.

“Again, you didn’t answer the question,” Stone replied.

“Look, you don’t know anything, okay.  Being with Bobby is way better than being back at home,” I told him, revealing more than I intended.

“A slap in the face is better than a punch in the gut, but I’d rather avoid both,” Stone told me with that damned self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“Okay, Dr. Phil.  Whatever.  This was a mistake,” I said but I didn’t mean it.  Not really.  I was resisting the truth.  Bobby treated me pretty bad most of the time but at least he didn’t ignore me and he didn’t hit me.  Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the man but it was the best I could do at the time.

“You don’t think coming out with me was a mistake.  That’s not you talking.  That’s anger and fear,” Stone told me.  He was right but I wasn’t ready to admit that.

“You’re a real charmer, Stone.  I don’t know what you want and I don’t think I want to find out.  Is this what you do?  Try to convince women you’re better than they are so you can take advantage of them?” I asked. The longer this went on, the more I resisted.  The more I resisted what I really wanted, the tighter my chest got.  Stone, grinned as I ranted.

“You’re a smug son of a bitch.  You’re not all that and a bag of chips, you know.  You’re not as sexy as you think you are.  I came out with you because I felt sorry for you.  You’re all alone and now I know why.  You’re a creep.  I should call 9-1-1.  Thank God, we're in public.  And that beard so looks stupid and...,” I told him, just spewing whatever came to mind.  Stone was laughing now.  “What’s so fucking funny?” I demanded.

“You are.  Listen to you,” he said, still laughing.  I went over what I had said and it was silly.  I took a deep breath and even smiled despite myself.  “You finished?” Stone asked.  I was embarrassed and Stone making fun of me wasn’t helping.  I realized we had stopped walking and were facing each other as joggers and bicyclists went by.

“Stop it.  Don’t tease me,” I said.  Stone took my face in his hands and I sighed.

“You want to kiss me or what?” he asked.  I looked at him, conflicted and confused.  I wanted to kiss Stone desperately but the trouble that would cause, the truths I’d have to face, held me back.  But one thing Stone had said stuck in my mind.  He didn’t misjudge me.  I didn’t want to be with a man like Bobby.  He represented a safe haven when we met but only when compared to my life back at home.  I was desperate to leave that situation and Bobby was my way out.

But now, I was stuck with him.  I was bound to Bobby.  He was my ticket to the club, the closest thing to a family I had but more importantly, he was my meal ticket.  I worked, part-time at a drug store, but I couldn’t afford to live on my own.  Bobby worked construction and made decent money.  Without Bobby, I’d have to go home or live on the streets.  What kind of choice was that?  I didn’t want to be with Bobby, I could admit that, but I couldn’t leave him either.

“You didn’t misjudge me,” I said quietly, not even able to look Stone in the face.  He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me.  He squeezed me tight and held me.  That simple gesture shocked me, shook me to my core.

“I know I didn’t,” Stone whispered.  I slipped my arms around Stone’s torso and squeezed him back.  His embrace felt so good and so different than what I was used to.  Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time Bobby hugged me...really hugged me.  In that moment, I knew where I wanted to be, or maybe where I didn’t want to be.  But did I have the courage to do it?