Stricken Trust (Stricken Rock) (10 page)

“Thanks Papa Bear.”

He nods and sits beside me with his plate. Shit! I think he’s mad. Probably because I didn’t tell him about the texts. So much for sexy time tonight. Damn me and my big mouth.

“Sounds like Johnathan is jealous of James and you
,
” Stacy states.

Oh great, now let’s make this even weirder.

“No, he’s not. He’s jealous of everyone
,
including Claire. Whoever gets to spend time with me and he doesn’t.” I feed a bite into my mouth. Oh my god, James can actually cook. This is delicious.

“This is yummy
,
” I compliment.

James nods again, accepting my sentiment. Dang it. This is not good.

“When he said something about marrying James what was your response?” Stacy prompts.

“I told him I’d say yes, because he treats me better than Johnathan does
,
” I blurt without thinking. I should have made that sound more like a joke. I’m digging myself more and more of a hole and soon there’ll be no turning back. I’m going to fuck up my whole evening. Damn me.

“You tell your boyfriend that you will marry your bodyguard and expect him not to be jealous?” Kyle asks seriously.

“Babe, he was drunk and they’re not dating right now. With the way they work, she couldn’t very well tell him what he wanted to hear. Johnathan doesn’t respond well to that. She keeps him begging for more. That’s why he’s hooked on her. It works for them,” Stacy clarifies for me. Thank the heavens I don’t have to do it. This is already exhausting.

“I know Kyle it might sound harsh, but if Stacy had filled you in on what Johnathan’s done to me or to our relationship you’d understand. It’s quite screwed up to say the least,” I add to Stacy’s explanation.

James hasn’t spoken a word and he’s already done eating. He excuses himself to the kitchen, rinses his plate and heads upstairs without a word. Oh double fuck. This is very very bad.

I spend the next ten minutes explaining to Kyle the entire bullshit from Johnathan. Stacy fills in a few blanks himself.

“Holy shit Emily. I can’t believe you talk to this man anymore. I’ve put up with a lot from men.” Kyle eyes Stacy. “But I’d never tolerate what you have. You’re a damn saint.”

I shake my head. “No, I’m not. I can’t let him go completely. Especially since my babies are his. It’s a forever kind of thing even if it’s not romantic. I have to deal with him, and his perversions, and addictions, and stresses.”

“I think you’re nuts,” Kyle adds.

I chuckle and tuck my damp hair behind my ears. “Most people already think that about me. My best friend’s gay, my other best friend is my bodyguard, my on and off again boyfriend is a famous womanizing rock star and I have a lesbian girlfriend who’s obsessed with my ass,” I state, nonchalantly.

Kyle barks a laugh. “Yes, that sounds
very
complicated. I don’t know how you keep it all straight. I get Stacy, he’s been your BFF forever. Even when we were all teenagers. I know because I swore you two had a thing for each other….”

I cut him off. “Nope, I never did anything with Stacy,” I reassure.

He chuckles. “I know that now. But when you’re secretly gay and in love with your best friend, who is also best friends with your neighbor, who’s a girl. It’s confusing.”

I nod, understanding.

“But then you’ve got this douche bag ex-boyfriend who you love but don’t love and you’re having his babies. You’ve got a lesbian girlfriend who apparently wants more. And then James who’s probably the most normal out of the whole bunch. He’s straight, helps take care of you and doesn’t seem to be a douche. But you’re just friends.”

I shrug. “Claire is very sweet and wonderful. I’m just not gay. As much as I like her I can’t be with her forever. So yeah, James is the most normal. But he’s not as normal as you’d think. We all have our own issues.”

Stacy curiously raises a brow.

I firmly hold up my index finger. “No Stace, anything about James you don’t already know I’m not telling you. It’s his privacy and I’m just thankful he’s been so willing to share with me. I’m not giving up the goods even if you are my best friend.”

We finish gabbing for another hour. James is still upstairs. I should have went after him but I wanted to give him his space. I wonder if he’ll be asleep when I get up there and see him. Stacy and Kyle just went off to bed, to have some nookie time. At least someone is indulging in sexy time. I’m kind of relieved that I talked with Kyle so much tonight. He doesn’t seem to hate me as must as he used to. Yah me!

I open the door to our bedroom slowly, with as little noise as possible, just in case James is asleep. It’s close to midnight now. Shit! I left my phone downstairs and I forgot to check Claire’s text. Oh well, I’ll check it tomorrow.

James is sitting up in bed, his side lamp on. His is shirt off and he’s reading a book.

“Hi,” I say in a whisper and climb into bed. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence.

“I’m sorry, James, for whatever I said or did that made you angry,” I state.

He exhales loudly and sets his book down on his nightstand, turns out his light and sinks down into the bed. Throwing the sheet over his body.

“James, talk to me. Please,” I beg quietly.

He turns over and faces away from me. Getting into his sleeping position. Damn, this hurts. I know something went down but he won’t tell me what. Damn me. I hate myself. I can’t sleep in here with him either, not with aching stress level.

I get out of bed and leave. I make my way down the same bedroom I locked myself in before. It has a full sized bed. It’s not as nice as ours, but it will do.

I don’t know what I am going to do about James. What can I do? I’ve tried talking to him. This vacation has turned out to be even fuller of excitement then I expected. It was supposed to be stress free and relaxing. Except now, I found out about James’s issues or some of them, Johnathan has been talkative, I fell, and Kyle doesn’t seem to hate me as much as I thought. I guess it’s not exactly bad stress but it’s still there.

Oh yes. Oh yeah! That feels so good. Touch me more. Oh, fuck, I’m close. Yes.

I open my eyes, heave out a breath, and shoot straight up in bed.

“Oh my god James, what the fuck are you doing?” I screech. My legs trembling close to orgasm.

He’s between my legs, his mouth lapping my core.

“I know you need to use B.O.B a lot in the morning, I thought I’d help instead.” His deep voice caresses my skin like a sinful treat.

I swallow hard and run my fingers through my long red hair. “James, you don’t have to give me anything, and how’d you know where I was at?” I’m ask, confused.

“After you left.” He licks my clit. Oh fuck! “I waited until you were a sleep.” He licks me again. Damn I’m… oh yes… “Then I came and found you and slept next to you. I wasn’t going to let you sleep alone. That’s not how we work.” He licks me again.

I arch my back off the bed. “Oh god that feels so good,” I moan.

“I thought you might want some help. I told you I’d help.” He laps my core again. She’s screaming his name. Oh shit! Yes. His tongue is soft and velvety and warm like him. Coaxing me and tantalizing me into a blissful state of climactic arousal. I can’t catch my breath.

“I just want you to feel good, Mama Bear. I hope that’s okay.” He sounds so innocent. Damn him and his sexiness. I can’t say no. I couldn’t even though I should. I shouldn’t allow this. Not after last night. But I want him to touch me so bad.

“James if you want to that’s okay. But please only do it because you want to. Not because of me,” I huff between lust filled breaths.

“I want to do it.” He swirls a firm tongue around my little bud. I groan loudly in my throat, tossing my head against the pillow. “I love the way you taste. I’ve wondered how good it might taste since I’ve been smelling you for so long. Your scent is like a drug.” He sucks onto my clit. I buck off the bed. Fuckkkk.

“James…” I clear my throat. “If you… oh damn. If you keep that… Oh God… Up… I’m going to…” I moan.

“I want you to come, Mama Bear. Come for me,” he says innocently, his hot breath stimulating my sex. He flicks my clit. “I want to do so many things to make you feel good. I hope that’s okay.” He kisses my core and circles his tongue around my tight hole. I’m sopping wet for him. My body wants him so bad. Oh James. Yes. Tongue my core. Give her what she wants. That greedy bitch loves him. She’s pounding for a release.

“I’m close baby. I’m going to come for you,” I moan and fist the sheets. Fuck. He sucks onto my clit and nibbles it hard. “Oh yes baby, suck my clit,” I scream between clenched teeth. Oh yes… I’m so close...Damn…. “Oh fuck!” I scream and arch my back and come into his mouth, spurting my hot nectar at him. I can hear him lapping me up. Sucking in my juices, drinking me down. I convulse, my body rocking on the bed. Breathing heavy into the air hot with short breaths. Holy shit that was awesome! I can’t believe I squirted again.

He comes up from between my legs, his whole mouth is wet but he has the biggest and sweetest smile imaginable.

“I’m sorry. I’ve only ever done that one other time.” I pant and lick my dry lips.

“God, you taste so good.” He licks his lips clean.

“I thought you smelling me so often would make you nauseated. I know I smell sweet all the time when I’m horny.”

He shakes his head and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “No way. If anything it turned me on. I love the smell. It is sweet, but it’s you and I love that.” He smiles.

“You like it that much?” This is all new to me. Wow. I think I’m swimming in steamy hot uncharted territory.

He wipes between my pussy lips with his finger and brings it to his nose. “This is a perfect smell.” He sticks his finger in his mouth and sucks it clean.

My eyes widen. Holy fuck, I’ve never seen anyone do that. Smell me and lick it off. That’s so hot. Damn, he might be kinkier than I thought.

I giggle. “I can’t believe you just did that.” I put my arms behind my head and enjoy the view of him sitting between my legs. His shirt’s off and he’s so beautiful, with his thick broad chest, tattoos, soft warm skin. He’s perfect.

“I’m very male, Emily. I’ve told you that before. You just gave me free reign to do things I’ve been dreaming about for months. I know it’s wrong to lust after a woman I am employed to protect but it’s very hard not to when that woman is you.”

“I’ve liked you too,” I blush.

“Well I can’t tell you how much I love to hear that, Mama Bear. Now let papa do his job again.” He says and lies between my legs once more.

“What are you doing?” I croak out. I can feel his hot breath on my slick core.

“I’m going to taste you Mama Bear and I’m going to make you come in my mouth again until you beg me to stop. You need to be sated and I’m dying to taste you again.” He moans and kisses my cunt. Shit, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.

He laps me hard and sucks my juices. I come for him six more times. His tongue loving me the whole time. Never penetrating me with anything but his sultry mouth. I lay like a limp noodle now that he’s done. Damn, he’s good. He crawls up the bed and lays next to me.

I turn onto my side and wipe the wetness from around his swollen red lips.

“Awe Papa Bear you didn’t have to give me that much loving. Your poor lips.” I lean over and kiss him softly. I can taste my sweetness on him.

“Anything for you my pregnant lady,” he smiles and kisses me again. Making my heart bloom. Why is he so damn perfect?

“So you care to tell me why you were so distant last night?”

“Not really. But I will anyhow.” He drops onto his back. I climb to his side and slide my leg over his torso. He’s hard as a rock and his shorts are soaked in pre-cum. I rest my head on his peck and kiss it. My favorite place in the entire world is right here, inhaling his warm perfection. My Teddy Bear. I lay my left hand on his other peck and he sweetly rubs my calf, with his big hand.

“Do you want me to take care of him?” I tap his erection quickly and return my hand to his peck.

“No honey, I don’t. I like the throbbing. I know that sounds strange but it makes me realize he’s awake and happy again. It’s been a lot of years for him to feel like he does. I want to savor it. Anytime with you I have to savor. I know it won’t last forever.” He sounds happy and sad at the same time.

“Why can’t it last forever?” I kiss his chest.

“Emily, when this is all said and done I will go back to being yours and the babies’ bodyguard and Johnathan will win you.” He states decisively.

“But what if I don’t end up wanting Johnathan?” I mutter shyly.

“You will. It’s the sad reality of it all but Claire and I both know it’s true. That’s why we are both okay with getting what we can as long as you let us.” He shrugs and holds me closer.

“I don’t want to let any of you go. I know that’s selfish. I shouldn’t be allowing any of this to go on. I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.”

I feel awful now. Even more so than I have been, about this stringing along. I love them all in my own way. I can’t figure out who I care for more than the other. It’s so damn complicated and confusing. I always thought I’d end with Johnathan too but what if I don’t? What if I don’t want to be with him? Then what happens? Where do I raise the babies? They can’t grow up in James’s condo. It’s too small for long term. Plus, he never signed on to be a father. He’s my bodyguard and friend. We flirt past that line too far, but it’s true.