Strong (Kindred #1) (21 page)

Alexis leaves and we arrange to pick her up later tonight, Carter tells me he’s going for a run and disappears ten minutes later leaving me alone in the flat. It’s too quiet and after the last couple of days, I need to dance, it’s the only thing that’s going to make me feel any better. I go into my bedroom and get changed into a pair of my yoga pants and a vest top, I grab my iPod and take it with me into the lounge. Clicking it into the dock, I hear the snap of the speakers and grin. I feel better already. It’s four in the afternoon, everyone is going to be at work so I make the most of it and turn the volume up loud, so loud it’s the only thing my mind can think about.

I sit down on the floor and start stretching, I stretch my legs out into the splits and lean forward until my body is resting on the floor. The pull of my muscles soothes and calms me straight away like I knew it would. I close my eyes and push myself down onto the floor a little more as Destiny’s Child start telling me the club is jumpin’ jumpin’. When I feel sufficiently stretched I get to my feet and select a different song.

I settle on the Pussycat Dolls
Buttons
and start to dance, I lose myself to the music, I’m nothing but movement, I can’t feel anything but the music and the heat of my skin where I’m stretching and waking my muscles up.

It feels perfect.

When another Destiny’s Child song comes on I can’t help but grin. The song reminds me of nights out with the girls, it reminds me of nights in with them too, Josie loves this song. I’m dancing, lost in the zone when I hear a cough behind me. I spin around and Carter is standing there looking more than a little pleased.

“Can I help you?” I ask, stepping closer to him.

“Don’t stop on my account.” he grins at me.

“Enjoying the show?” I raise one eyebrow at him, placing my hands on my hips.

“Would you judge me if I said yes?”

“Absolutely not, I’m a trained dancer, if you say no, I’ll slap you.”

“You’re very…. bendy.” he holds his hands out towards me.

“You’re not the first man to tell me that.” I grin cheekily at him.

“I’m certain I’m not,” he nods in agreement. “So… keep going. I know it helps.”

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me, or are you going to dance too?”

“I can’t do… that. I can dance, but I can’t bend my body in half like I have no spine and I’m made of rubber,” he laughs sitting on one of the bar stools. “Will it make you uncomfortable if I sit here and send a few emails while you dance?”

“No, by all means, sit and send emails,” I turn and go to select a new song then turn back to Carter. “But you’ll have to cope with my music.”

“I can handle it.” he grins.

A
s it turns out, I can’t handle it.

I’m fully erect in seconds and I can’t do anything about it without drawing attention to myself.

So I sit there.

Trying to pretend I’m not watching her dance even though we both know I am.

A song starts up and I close my eyes and groan.

Not this song.

I can’t open my eyes.

God knows what she’s going to be doing if I do.

My phone decides to ring then so I have to open my eyes.

Jack is calling me, of course he is.

“Hello?”

“Carter, I’m… What the fuck are you listening to?”

“I’m out. What do you want?”

“Out where?”

“It doesn’t matter, what do you want?”

Carmen not having told anyone about us living together is proving tiring. It’s not my decision to tell anyone, she will when she’s ready, but sneaking around is exhausting. As is knowing she’s having one of the biggest, life changing operations a woman can have in a few days and hasn’t told her friends yet.

“I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come for something to eat on Sunday, we can watch the game? We’re heading back home soon.”

“I don’t think I can, I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

“Carter, the Bears are on. Don’t be a fucking idiot and come round. I’ll make burgers.”

“Fine, asshole. What time?”

“Six? Bring beer. Josie is going to see if Carmen wants to come over to Harry’s too.”

“Okay.”

“You’re acting weird, what are you—”

“I’ve got to go. I’ll speak to you later.”

I end the call before he asks any more questions. I can’t tell him, even if I’m able to come over on Sunday, Carmen won’t be. I can’t tell him because Carmen hasn’t told anyone yet and I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone, that when she’s ready is good enough for me.

Except it isn’t.

I’m a really bad liar and I know if I see Jack, he’ll know something’s wrong.

“Carter?”

“Yeah?”

I look over and wish I hadn’t. She’s bending over, stretching I guess, her perfect ass is right in front of me and the pants she’s wearing look like they’re painted on and are leaving nothing to my perverted imagination.

Look into her eyes, Carter. Not at her ass.

“Jack asking questions?” she asks, straightening up.

“Yeah… Sort of… Not really…”

“He is or he isn’t?”

She walks over to where I’m sitting and to the refrigerator where she fills a glass with ice and water before coming to sit down next to me.

“He kind of is, yes. He asked where I was and he’s invited me to Harry’s on Sunday… Watch the game and stuff, they’re heading back to Chicago soon.”

“You should go. You don’t know when you’ll see them when they go back.”

“Carmen, you’ll still be in hospital on Sunday, I’m not going anywhere except there.”

“Carter,” she reaches over and takes my hand. “I really appreciate that, honestly I do. But if we’re going to stop people asking questions, you’re going to need to keep things normal and that means going round to Harry’s.”

“Josie is going to ask you over too.” I tell her.

“I’ll tell her I’m out with my parents that day,” she looks at me and I know she can see I’m struggling with all of this. “I’ll sort it Carter, okay?”

“I know, it’s just—”

“I know. I’ll tell them soon, but Meg’s just had Henry. They don’t need to know this yet, she needs to recover and bond with her son and Josie and Jack need to go back to Chicago and to their life, and they won’t do that if I tell them.”

“When are you going to tell Josie?”

“I don’t know… After the surgery, I’ll get Megan over and we’ll FaceTime or something… I haven’t thought that far ahead.” she rubs her head like she’s getting a headache.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be stressing you out.”

“Everything is stressful right now, whatever I do, I’m hurting someone. I can’t do right by everyone so I have to be selfish and do what’s right for me. I know that will hurt the people I love, but right now, I just need to think about me.”

She picks up her glass and walks into her bedroom, closing the door and effectively shutting me out.

I used to think I could deal with women, but tonight?

I’m not so sure.

Carmen and Lex have really hit it off and you’d think they’ve been friends forever. They’re both testing my patience and they are fully aware of what they’re doing. Both insist on dancing in the ridiculous heels and too short dresses, both seem to find it amusing to flirt with the many men who are clearly interested.

Honestly, the reek of desperation in this club is turning my stomach.

I’m standing at our table watching them, Carmen’s behaving in a very un-Carmen like way, I get it, she’s trying to forget, but Lex? She should know better. She’s currently letting some dick with too tight trousers grind himself into her and if she doesn’t stop it soon, I will. Carmen yells something to her and comes over to the table.

“Are you okay?” I ask as she wobbles a little.

“I’m fine, Carter!” she waves her hand around like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.

“Will you have some water, please?” I hand her the glass and she takes it, downing the contents.

When a new song comes on, a song she clearly knows, she stands back up and looks at me.

“Seems pretty appropriate.” she grins at me.

“Carmen, what are you doing?”

“I thought that was pretty obvious, I’m going to dance. Are you coming with me?”

“Of course I am.”

There is no way she’s dancing on her own anymore.

I let her pull me onto the dance floor, I let her wrap her arms around my neck and move us both to the music and I smile, because I know that’s what she needs, but I know she’s scared, I know she’s hurting and I know I can’t do anything but what she asks of me tonight. She closes her eyes and lets the music pulse over us both, I meet the eyes of more than one interested male. If roles were reversed, I’m sure I would be just as interested in Carmen as they are.

What am I saying? I am interested, but my feelings don’t matter right now, all that matters is Carmen is okay, that she’s safe and protected and that she knows I’m here for her.

The song changes again and she beams up at me, clearly happy with the DJs choice. Some Indian beat starts to build and Carmen steps away and dances in front of me. I can’t take my eyes off her; dark hair around her face, her hips rotating in a way I swear I’ve only ever seen on the TV before. She steps right up to me and grabs my hands, placing them on her hips, I do what she asks and move to the music with her. It’s getting hotter by the minute in here, the packed dance floor seeming to get busier, there are bodies everywhere. I spot Lex and see her frowning at her phone.

“Drink?” she yells into my ear.

I nod and take her hand, guiding her off the floor and to the bar. I order us both a beer and she yells over the music for two shots of tequila. When the barman hands them to us, she calls over a toast of;
to Harry and Megs and the little one they welcomed into the world
, before tipping her head back and downing it. I haven’t seen her drink this much alcohol since we met, I’m not stupid, I know she’s drinking to forget, drinking so she doesn’t feel and that’s fine, but one of us is going to stay in control of this situation and it looks like it’s going to be me.

I guide us over to an empty table and take a seat, needing to practically place her on the stool to keep her with me. Her eyes are already glazed and I can feel them watching me. She holds her hand out and I take it, pulling her up.