Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) (17 page)

“You like when I play with your ass?”

“Yes,” he panted. “Please, yes.”

“Please what?” I stilled my finger and shuddered when he released a protesting growl.

“Please don’t stop fingering my ass, Garrett.”

I could have burst right then and there. The sound of my name on his lips, when he was squirming and panting and flushed with desire, nearly pushed me over the edge. It didn’t help when he yanked my head back and sank his teeth into the side of my neck, or when he began grinding against me in earnest, like he wanted me to blow my load early yet again.

But I held it together. Somehow. And I pumped my finger into his ass until he was vibrating against me and reaching frantically toward his side table for a condom or lube. His fingers brushed random objects and knocked them off the top, but he didn’t reach the drawer.

“Goddamn it,” he hissed. “Shit.”

“I could get—”

“No, you’re not going anywhere.”

Kai sat up and scooted forward until he was straddling my chest. He leaned forward to reach the drawer and I took the opportunity to wrap my lips around his cock. Something else crashed to the floor but Kai was too busy grabbing the back of my head and humping my face to care. It was a mess of saliva and pre-cum and wet pleading cries, and I loved every minute of it. Especially when I shoved two fingers into his tight little ass and gave him what he wanted from both ways.

“Oh fuck, Garrett. Oh my God.” My only response was to hook my fingers up and fuck him deeper. Kai gasped, hunched forward, and yanked my hair. “Babe—no,
fuck.
Not yet—I wanna come with your dick in me.”

“Let’s make it fucking happen then.”

I suckled on the tip of his dick while he got what he needed. The movement was reluctant when he pulled out of my mouth, and I licked the taste of him from my lips once his dick was freed. Tearing my eyes away from his erection was a feat, but the sight of him red-faced, damp lipped, and staring at me with gleaming eyes was amazing. I’d seen him get wild on Skype, but it was nothing compared to the heat of his body and the smell of his musk.

And pumping into my own hand had been nowhere close to the tightness enclosing my dick when he rubbered and lubed me. There was only the briefest of hesitations before he slid right on.

“Oh shit.” I clamped my hands on his hips and squeezed my eyes shut. It was too good. Too fucking good. “Oh my fucking God.” Kai rocked against me and I thrashed my head back and forth, whimpering. “Fuck baby, not yet. Not yet. Feels too good.”

Kai dipped his head down with a breathless chuckle. “Your dick is so big.”

“Too big?” I rasped. “You’re so fucking tight.”

“It’s perfect.” He worked his muscles around my dick, squeezing and milking slowly as he covered my face with kisses. “You’re perfect.”

I opened my eyes to find him gazing down at me with an expression so tender that I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know what to think. Because this shit felt like more than just pent up sex after months of cyber banging. This felt like the start of something serious, and…it was too early to think like that. There was still too much unsaid. Too much unknown. That moment at the door had proven it.

I tangled my fingers in his hair, yanked his face down, and kissed him hard. Hard enough to block out the thoughts and the doubts and the questions as I adjusted to the feel of a vice around my cock, and started pounding him.

He slammed down while I pushed up, and I still couldn’t get enough. An internal chant of
more more more
played over and over in my head until it filled with white noise and the freight train rush of my boiling blood. Soon we were just panting against each other’s swollen mouths, eyes locked and tongues still coiling together as he rode me to completion.

I came so hard my brain short-circuited. My breath caught in my chest as each rush of semen flooded the condom, and I distantly heard myself making strained sounds. When my eyes focused again, it was to Kai throwing his head back as his hand flew over his dick. Sound filtered through the drum of my own heartbeat, and I heard him crying out loud enough to pass through the walls of his apartment.

“Oh fuck,” he cried out. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck—” the mantra broke off when I hitched myself up on my elbows and drew him into my mouth. Kai released with a wild cry. I swallowed down every drop, enjoying his taste and the way he whimpered my name.

We were a mess. A trembling mess of tangled limbs, damp with semen and sweat, and I didn’t give a damn. Kai made an idle attempt to wipe up the mess he’d made of my torso with a spare pillow before tossing it on the floor and sprawling on top of me. We were still sticky, but it felt amazing to have his head tucked under my chin. My breathing slowed as I stroked his back.

“Did I redeem myself?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” Kai burrowed against me and made content sounds. “God. I feel like I could sleep again.”

“Or eat a six-course meal.”

“Oh!” Kai wiggled his fingers in the direction of his other side table. “There’s soup.”

“Awesome. I’m gonna get it as soon as I can sit up.”

“It’s cold by now.”

“Pssh. Do you know what they feed us in the desert?”

Kai propped his chin against my chest and peered at me with his huge blue eyes. “Not really. You didn’t talk about it much.”

“True that.” I was reluctant to take my hands off him, so I didn’t. I traced his spine and we kept staring at each other. “I’ll tell you anything you want. There’s probably a lot we don’t know about each other even though I’ve confided in you more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Dunno.” I shrugged, jostling his cozy position. “It was just easier to confide in someone when they’re not in my face, you know? And because it was via text…we talked so much every day for fucking hours and the words just kept coming. It was way different than dating. Not that I know shit about that.”

The smile that curved over Kai’s face was almost shy. “It’s almost the same for me except I obviously omitted the part where I’m a total loser.”

I smacked his ass hard. “Stop that.”

Kai wiggled his ass. “If I say it again, will you spank me? I might like it.”

“Tell me about that later when I can get it up again. For now…I’d like to ask you some questions. If you don’t mind.”

There was a hint of a sigh before Kai pulled himself into a sitting position. “Fine, but first? You eat.”

It was a total deflection, but I could get used to being around someone who wanted to take care of me.

“You got it.”

Kai

I warmed up the soup and thought about sitting at my desk chair so Garrett could have the bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit even five feet away. So I sat cross-legged facing him, my knees touching his thighs as he leaned against some pillows and inhaled the soup.

I wasn’t as hungry, my stomach churning as I thought about what I was going to tell him. Once we were finished, I placed my bowl on the floor and stared at my ragged fingernails.

“Hey,” he said softly. “As much as I could just jump you again and delay talking, I’m thinking we need to have a conversation about everything.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just such a head trip that you’re here, you know that? I’ve met a lot of people online and I almost forgot what it was like to actually meet in person. To go from knowing someone online to real life.” I was on a roll now, the words spilling out as my voice rose. “I’m twenty-five, and I haven’t been outside this apartment more than a handful of times since I was twenty-two. It’s why I’m as pale as Edward Cullen and was freaked the fuck out when you came to my door.”

Garrett didn’t move. His posture—which had been relaxed and casual—was now stiff. “Wait, I’m sorry, what?”

“Well I said I keep to myself—”

“Keeping to yourself is like…being private. That doesn’t imply never leaving your apartment, Kai.”

He was right. I pursed my lips and tugged the sheet over my lap. “I told you I used to dance, right?”

He nodded, gaze never leaving my face.

“So, I’ve always been…not great in public. Made me anxious and sick to my stomach, but I loved to dance, and I was good at it. I got a part in an off-Broadway production here in Philly and gave it my best shot but I was never meant for the stage. I threw up before every performance.”

“But,” Garrett started, and I could tell he was going to try for optimism. “Doesn’t that happen to a lot of people?”

“Yeah, but not like what happened with me. I’m talking full-on panic attacks.” I waved a hand. “Yeah, so. I’m a small guy and I was losing weight because of that and it was bad. So bad. I started my Twitch stream and then…things were easy. On camera, I didn’t freak out. It didn’t make me nervous and the more subscribers I gained, the more money I made and…” I shrugged. “All of a sudden, I didn’t have to leave my apartment. Everything I needed was here. Anything I didn’t have could be delivered. I never had many friends anyway, and soon they all faded away until it was just…me. And my Chat.”

“You live your life online.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and that told me he understood.

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s exactly right.”

“Shit.” He exhaled roughly. “No wonder you lost it when I showed up.”

“Like I said, it was a head trip to go from seeing you online to you being this real, 3D man.”

There was a brief pause before Garrett asked haltingly, “When did you start your XXXTube channel?”

“Oh, uh, so, back when I danced, I had a friend in theater who used to fuck me sometimes. We were friends, nothing more. And when I became how I am now, he would come over sometimes but that ended eventually. I always seemed to fuck my friends until they went on to find their own boyfriends while I never did. Anyway, he stopped coming around and I was horny as shit. I made a video on a whim, uploaded it, and the damn thing did really well. I thought, fuck it, why not? This is my life, my body. And the money was great.”

Garrett nodded slowly. “So there was a difference between performing in front of a live audience and one that’s behind a camera?”

“Yeah. I guess…I realized I do like performing, but I need some distance. Which sounds weird, but there it is.”

“When’s the last time you had sex with someone?”

I grinned. “A half-hour ago.”

“You know what I mean.”

I scrunched my lips and mumbled, “Two years.”

“Say again?”

“Two years! I had a friend who came over for a while and then…” I let my voice trail off then leveled a glare at Garrett. “Thanks for making me admit that, you fucker.”

His arms shot out, wrapped around me, and I fell into his lap. I wasn’t used to being manhandled, but I was starting to like it. Probably because I liked everything Garrett did.

“So.” There was a twitch to his lips that definitely indicated an incoming smile. “I must be pretty special for you to choose me after all this time, huh?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I was some chaste virginal person.” I poked him in the side. “I banged myself on camera a lot. Your specialness is way more than the fact that we just had sex.”

Garrett’s face lit up, but he managed to suppress it after schooling his features. “Heh, I’m just kidding, you know. It wouldn’t matter to me either way. I’m not exactly a Puritan.”

“I figured.”

“Good.” Garrett cupped my face with his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before? Not just about your sex life but all of it?”

“Because,” I said. “I felt a responsibility, I guess. You were deployed, and you said I made you happy. You already got weird when people were dicks to me on Twitch. I didn’t want you to be…concerned.”

“That’s pretty selfless.”

“Isn’t serving in the Army selfless?”

At that, some of Garrett’s playfulness faded. He sat back on his heels. “I don’t know. Some guys are, but not me. I signed up because I had no future otherwise. Now, I have a shot at school and a real job. It got me out of Rickston, which is probably the most depressing town in Pennsylvania.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “The average income there is pretty low. It’s cold a lot—winters suck balls. And with that comes alcoholism and general fucking misery. It sucks. It’s easy to get discouraged growing up in a place like that, which is why a lot of guys join the service.”

Nodding, I studied his face and the clouds gathering around it. He’d rarely talked about his hometown on Gchat, and maybe it was for good reason. Or maybe, like I’d done to him, he’d wanted to shield me from the troubling aspects of his life.

“Well,” I said thoughtfully. “It could be worse. You could have…started dealing drugs or something. Pimping. Those would be bad.”

Garrett’s mouth twitched and this time he had a harder time controlling his laughter.

“What!” I poked his side. “What’s so funny?”

“Pimping?” Garrett stretched out on top of me and laughed into my neck. All two hundred and something pounds of muscle shook with laughter. “You’re such a dork.”

“What? This is serious!”

“Right.” When his laughter subsided, Garrett shook his head. “I’m glad you’re proud of me for choosing service over…pimping.”

“You’re mocking me.”

“Never.”

“Uh huh.” I wrapped my arms around him. “So that’s my story.”

“And your family…”

My family wasn’t even a sore subject with me anymore. I was a loner. I always had been. Not much had changed. “I get a Christmas card from my one aunt every year. My cousins are busy—married with kids. They don’t remember or care about the distant cousin with a druggie dad who lived with them for a while. My grandmother passed away when I was a teenager, or I would maybe get a birthday card with a ten-dollar bill in it. And I haven’t spoken to my dad since…middle school maybe?”

He blew out a breath. “Shit.”

“Why do you think it was so easy for me to just…disappear?”

His brow was furrowed. “But you’re…charming, and fun to be around. I can’t believe no one wanted to hold on to you.”

I let those words settle into my gut and warm me from the inside out. “I’m glad you think that. I…don’t know how true it is.”