Suffocate (4 page)

Chapter 7

Luke

The sound of the front door closing only briefly has me looking up from the sweater I’m knitting in the leather recliner in the living room. Maxx and Erin are giggling, the sound which is usually calming, to hear the two women I’ve taken care of a hunk of my life happy, is actually forcing me to tense.

All that and the only thing you can focus on is the fact I’m wearing glasses? You are as bad as my sister.

Maxx sits down on the couch still laughing about something, eyes landing on me and the activity going on with my hands.

“Uh...pardon me Mother Hubbard, but where’s the food in the cupboard?” Erin questions from the kitchen.

Finally looking up over the top of my glasses, I lower my eyebrows. “What?”

“Food brother dearest. The fridge is like empty.” She puts both her hands on the kitchen counter. “I thought you were going to the grocery store?”

Damn it. I knew I was forgetting to do something. I swear the only thing I’ve been able to think about is getting back inside Stuart and hearing his moans echo through me again. See why a person shouldn’t go this long without having sex? There was actually a study done about—wait why do you now have a glossed over look in your eye?

“I was.” I absentmindedly shake my head. “I’m sorry. I just...forgot.”

“The List Master forgot?” Erin pokes walking towards me.

I really hate her sometimes.

“I was busy trying to finish this sweater.” I lift up the baby blue product.

“That has to be the fourth sweater you’ve knitted in the past two weeks. I swear baby Kellar is gonna have one in every color.” Erin sits on the arm cushion beside Maxx who chortles.

“Baby Kellar?” I sneer.

“Well since Maxx and Logan are from the Stone Age and refuse to find out the gender, I had decided to call it spawn of Kellar, but that made Maxx violent, so I switched to baby Kellar.”

“I wasn’t violent,” she argues.

“You threw a baby shoe at me!”

“There was a bug!”

“There was not.” Erin rolls her eyes and looks back at me. “Why are you making it blue?”

“Because they’re having a boy,” I sigh trying to continue to concentrate.

“Are your nurse senses tingling?” Maxx giggles rubbing her t-shirt covered stomach.

“Nurse senses?”

“Like Spidey senses,” she replies.

“I don’t get it.”

“Really?” Maxx’s look of disbelief causes my eyebrows to lower again. “Like Spiderman.”

“Since when is predicting babies one of his superpowers?” My confusion makes Maxx’s jaw drop.

Why are you oh my goshing me? How am I the one that sounds crazy?

“Moving on...” My sister tilts her face at me. “Wanna talk about what’s got you buying out the craft supply store of knitting needles?”

A short grunt comes out of me and I knit faster.

“Come on,” Maxx encourages. “You make us talk all the time. Your turn.”

“It’s my job to take care of you that’s why,” I softly reply.

And it is. It was a promise I made. And one I’ve kept.

“How about for once, you let us take care of you?” My sister questions sweetly in return. When I look up, her deep brown eyes that remind me so much of our mother’s are breaking down the resistance I’m trying to maintain. “Come on.”

“Okay.” I place my project down in my lap. After clearing my throat I declare, “I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“Something like poured out all my diet coke again?” Erin scowls at me.

“What did I tell you about that shit? It’s bad for you. It’s worse for you than regular soda.”

“That’s the conspiracy theory.”

“It’s not a conspiracy theory.”

“Focus,” Maxx inserts in the conversation. “What did you do?”

Picking my knitting back up, I mumble, “I slept with Stuart.”

“You what?!” They shriek in unison.

“On the rooftop of his party yesterday.”

“Oh my God!” They croak out together.

It’s like having twin sisters. Very loud, very obnoxious twin sisters.

“Did you make him fill out the 10 page form and pass the 8 page multiple choice test on STDs first?” Erin’s sarcasm forces me to grind my teeth.

This is why I don’t tell her things.

Maxx starts snickering, which makes my sister join her, and before I know it they erupt in laughter, shame falling down over me.

Clearly I don’t feel guilty enough.

Once Erin gains a little composure she shakes her head. “How on earth did that happen?” I shrug. “What do you mean shrug? Were you drunk?”

“No.”

“Were you tipsy?” Maxx chimes in.

“No.”

“Explain.” Erin slides onto the leather couch next to Maxx and drops her face in her hand. “Spare no details.”

My face flushes. “You don’t need to know the details.”

“I’m boning his best friend. Of course I need to know the details.”

“How does that—”

“Focus,” Maxx pops into the conversation again. “Please explain.”

“I was on the roof top and he came up there,” the memory floods my body and immediately my cock stirs against my willpower. “One thing led to another, he started yelling at me—”

“Yelling at you?” Erin questions.

“Fussing at me—”

“Fussing at you?” Maxx asks.

Flustered I drop my needles again. “Stop echoing me.” The two of them press their lips together hushing. “He said something that...pushed me a little too far. Before I knew it we were kissing and then...you know how it ends.” Erin holds back a snicker as I continue. “I don’t know what it is about him! I just—I—he—then—I don’t know what’s wrong with me! He just...and then I...and I—” I cut myself off in a huff.

“You’re adorable,” Maxx giggles rubbing her stomach.

“I. Am. Not.” I point a stern finger at her. “And you. Have you had enough water today? What about—”

“No-huh,” she cuts me off. “Stop that. You’re not changing the subject to me to take the attention off the fact you’re smitten over Stuart.”

“I am not smitten,” I say in an unsteady voice.

Don’t agree with her.

“You so are,” my sister backs her up in a fit of giggles. “It’s kind of cute.”

“I am not cute.” I wag a finger at her. “I just...made a mistake.”

Quickly Maxx ponders, “Was it a mistake?”

That’s the same damn thing I’ve been asking myself all day and no matter how I use logic to define why it was, it feels exactly the opposite.

When I don’t immediately answer Erin says, “Look Luke. I know you think that everything has it’s place and position. That life can he be predicted and calculated. That the risks can be measured and prevented, but if I’ve learned anything from watching mom and dad, Maxx and Logan, hell even me and C.J. it’s the exact opposite. When you fall, which you clearly are, it’s fast, hard and it’s gonna hurt.”

“Hurt so good...” Maxx whispers out and wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Score one for the pregnant lady.” The two of them high five at my expense.

“Thank you for the dating advice that I clearly don’t need.”

“Clearly you do,” Maxx tries to debate.

“He can dish it, but he can’t take it.” Erin clarifies.

“Can we change subjects?” I insist. “Like to maybe what kind of pizza you wanna order for dinner.”

“Pizza,” Maxx whispers out like it’s a treasure chest.

She starts making demands about what to order and I let a short smile come on my face.

I can’t believe that I’m actually going to say this to you and if you tell Erin I did I’ll deny it like a politician caught with his pants down in a motel with a hooker. But...I think she’s right. And I’m not sure what scares me more, her actually being right or me falling in love for the first time in years.

Chapter 8

Luke

Shoving my key in Maxx and Logan’s front door, I call out for her as soon as I open the front door. “Maxx!”

Normally she’s almost at the bottom of the stairs ready to go when she knows I’m taking her to an appointment. She knows how I like to be on time.

Do you have any idea how rude it is to be late?

Frustrated she’s not waiting, I walk quickly down the hall and peek around the corner to see if she’s sitting on their living room couch. When I notice she’s not, I back track, walk past the formal dining room and up the stairs calling out, “Maxx! Maxx! You know I hate to be—” my mouth shuts seeing the Kid and Stuart playing a video game on the upstairs living area floor.

“Late,” the Kid finishes the sentence laughing before tossing his hands in the air. “Victory is mine! Eat that!”

Stuart chuckles and shakes his head. “You’ve gotta be cheating.”

“It’s called practice,” he responds at the same time Stuart looks up at me, eyes immediately falling to my lips, making my face heat.

From just a look? What is wrong with me? Has this ever happened to you?

“Mom’s not here.” The Kid twists his baseball cap backwards.

When I can finally peal my eyes off of Stuart, I look at my nephew.

Even if it’s not by blood, he will always be my nephew. Don’t question that.

“What do you mean she’s not here?” I slide a hand in my khakis.

“Her appointment got moved up and dad took her.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?” I gripe pulling out my cell phone to check it, not seeing any missed messages.

“Her cell phone is broken. Dad was supposed to text you.”

Well that explains that. Kellar can barely remember his own name most days. I’m not surprised he forgot to send me a message. You’d think this would’ve gotten better with age. Not fucking worse.

“I take it he didn’t,” the Kid teases as the video screen recycles a song that’s making my eye twitch.

“Why is her phone broken?”

“She didn’t take finding out a book was delayed for release very well.”

Sounds about right.

“Why are you home in the middle of the day?” I scold. “Are you playing hooky?”

“Early release.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I question Stuart finally making eye contact again. “To babysit?”

“I’m 16. I don’t need a goddamn babysitter,” the Kid mumbles.

“Watch your mouth,” my voice snips.

“I was on this side of town. Swung by and the Kid challenged me to a Mario Kart marathon. If I would’ve known he was a video game shark, I might’ve rethought it.”

“Not my fault you can’t hold your own,” Dean chuckles with a shrug.

“Wanna play?” Stuart offers me the object he’s holding.

“Oh no no no,” the Kid answers for me. “Uncle Luke doesn’t play video games.”

“Why not?” Stuart’s blue eyes stay plastered on me. “They’re fun.”

“Uncle Luke likes other kinds of fun.”

Slightly offended I fold my arms across my chest, “What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t think I’m fun?” The Kid winces as he struggles to answer. “I’m fun! I took you to a concert last week!”

“You took me to see an orchestra.”

“That’s the same!” Stuart break outs in laughter and I grit my teeth. “Hey, it played superhero themed music.”

“Which gave it more credit than if it hadn’t. My point is Uncle Luke, you’re a different kind of fun. Nothing wrong with that.”

Upset I state, “I’ll play. Hand me a...a...a thing.”

“Controller.” The Kid shakes his head.

“That.” I point to the thing in Stuart’s hand that looks like a steering wheel.

“Why don’t I help you the first couple rounds until you get the hang of it?” Stuart offers as I move to sit beside him. Before I have a chance to answer he opens his jean covered legs wide and pats the space between them for me to sit there.

With a shaky breath I prepare to deny when the Kid pipes in. “You’re gonna need it. Trust me.”

Shooting him another dirty look, I sit down between Stuart’s legs and let his arms wrap around me, placing my hands in the proper locations.

Okay now, I’m a nurse. I should know how to breathe, but there’s something in my brain forgetting to tell something else, something should be happening. I’m not making any sense. When did that start?

Stuart’s warm breath is next to my ear, forcing my eyes shut. “I’ll take care of you.”

A soft snicker brings me out of my haze and I try to focus on the screen. Stuart explains the basics to me, but it doesn’t stick.

Is this what other’s feel like when I explain the importance of proper nutrition, sugar intake, and the reason you should avoid...why do I feel like you’re drifting off on me again?

Being in Stuart’s arms feels amazing, especially as he twists and tenses against me, the movements feeling more sexual than I’m sure they’re supposed too. My cock doesn’t understand this is not foreplay and tries to rise in my boxer briefs.

After losing three games in a row, I snap my head at the Kid. “I think you cheat.”

“No one loses well in this family,” he mumbles standing up at the sound of the doorbell. “I’ll answer that.”

Dean rushes out of the room leaving the two of us alone, still wrapped in a warm embrace. Knowing I should move, but not wanting too, I take a long inhale hoping to enjoy this moment before it’s over. Without warning, I feel Stuart’s thin lips brush the back of my neck stiffening my dick completely.

That’s. Not. Normal.

“Is it bad, I don’t wanna let you go?”

Struggling to speak I somehow say, “I don’t think so.”

The ball of his tongue ring rolls around my earlobe and my eyes fall closed on a deep quiet moan. After several slow sucks he lets my ear go and whispers, “I could listen to that sound every day.” My breath catches in my throat. “I haven’t stopped thinking about the other night.”

Swallowing my resistance to being vulnerable I reply, “Me either.”

His lips return to my neck, this time running his tongue ring across in a long stroke before saying in what sounds like a plea, “I need you again.”

Something inside me shifts, tugging at my heart in the process.

I don’t think I’ve ever had someone need me like that. Want me that bad. Ever.

Stuart’s lips leave my neck as the Kid appears again, a dainty blond in a skirt that’s much too short for the season, holding his hand.

It may be spring, but that doesn’t mean she has to get ready to let the boy help her eggs hatch.

“Who are you?” I protectively ask, breaking away from Stuart’s grip, feeling empty the second we’re apart.

Are you kidding me? That’s not me. This is not me. I need to walk away. I can’t fall for someone like him. Someone who can’t keep a steady relationship. Someone who just rolls through life without being able to make solid choices. To think ahead. To think about something other than having a sex buddy. I can’t date someone like Logan. Someone like my sister. Someone like Stuart. It only ends in heartbreak and I’ve successfully avoided doing that for years.

“Heather,” she squeaks. I fight the urge to squint at her tone.

“Do your parents know she’s here?” I ask the Kid who is busy checking out her behind.

Like father like son.

“Dean,” I grab his attention.

“Yeah. Heather came over to watch a movie.” He playfully wiggles his eyebrows at me.

“In the living room,” I instruct. “Downstairs. Where hands and tongues will be visible at all times.” He drops his jaw to groan when I point and motion my finger, “Turn.” He tries to speak. “Walk.”

“Damn it!” the Kid snaps angrily marching back down.

“Mouth!” I call out after him.

Stuart stands and shuts the console off. Looking over at him I sigh, “Looks like I’ll be sticking around to make sure there aren’t two women carrying baby Kellars around.”

He chuckles and says, “I would but I have an appointment to be at.”

“Oh.” I try to hide my disappointment. “I understand.”

“But...” He strolls up to me. “Boy’s Night this week is at my place. Wanna join?”

I don’t typically do Boy’s Night. I do Girl’s Night. If the choice is The Notebook or a Sport’s Bar, I choose chick flick. Bowling or nail painting, nail painting, even if Maxx wiggles too much when it’s time to paint her toes. Don’t look at me like that. I don’t like loud things. Or dirty things. Besides I’m usually working when they do Boy’s Night.

“Um,” I start unsure of what to say. Nervously I cross my arms. “Um. I uh...don’t typically go to Boy’s Night.”

“I know,” he replies his body now shifting closer to mine. “And I miss you every time.”

“Is that what you say to all the guys you sleep with?” I snap.

That wasn’t right. Why didn’t you hit my ‘not that one’ button?

With a playful grin Stuart shakes his head. “They’ve never been invited before.” Shame covers my face red again and he smirks at me once more. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed.” Before I can answer he leans over, plants his warm lips on mine, and gives my top lip the softest lick. The moment I drop my mouth open to moan, his tongue softly greets mine, lingering for an invitation instead of demanding one.

Too quickly he pulls away and gives my cheek a gentle stroke. “I hope I see you there.”

Stuart strolls past me and down the stairs disappearing.

That’s not what I was expecting. He’s not what I’m expecting. Hell, I’m not what I’m expecting in this situation. I don’t like not having answers about what I’m supposed to do. Losing control is not something I like. It’s not something I’m sure I can handle.