Sugah & Spice (32 page)

“Now wouldn’t that be someth
ing,” Sugah said sarcastically.
“You wouldn’t last a week, especially when all the men of the church found out you were “counseling” their wives or girlfriends with your dick.” They laughed in spite of the situation.
“We may have to sit outside and listen on the
speakers. See, you made us late,
”
Sugah
said gesturing with her hand at all the cars in the lot.
Sh
e
pushed him into the window. Espresso laughed. “Ouch, stop hitting me girl, Imma tell Mama.”

It was Sugah’s turn to laugh.
When she finally located a parking spot with Espresso’s help, t
hey quickly got out of the car and ran into the sanctuary. As soon as they got inside, they spotted Charlotte and Richard waiting at the front entrance for them. Sugah’s mother gave her an exasperated look and signaled them to hurry up. Espresso fell in line straightening his face. Sugah’s mother meant business. Now he was really sorry for taking his time
with Mocha before
getting dressed that morning.
Nothing but the devil, he thought or maybe the brown liquor he had consumed the night before, trying to ease his mind. Lately, all he could think about was Mya and how she owed him answers.
And if he wasn’t thinking about her, he was thinking about Mocha and the fact that he was falling head over heels for her. But she was too secretive. He was never allowed or invited to her house. They always met at his. She didn’t like spending the night, and when she overslept in his bed, she quickly got dressed and left.
He didn’t have time to think about that now. The way Charlotte Payne was looking at him, made him feel like a child about to be punished for doing something mischievous.

             
Sugah quickly kissed her mother on the cheek and hugged Mr. Blakemore. “I have a bone to pick with the two of you after service about your tardiness. Now come on before we can’t find a seat down front.” Espresso felt like a little boy again
even more by her words
. Charlotte hugged her new son and grabbed his arm, leading the way toward the front of the church. One of the ushers signaled them to the second pew, which Sugah found unusual. How did they know her mother? She hadn’t been in town that long and it seemed as if everyone knew her. Something was up, but what, Sugah wondered. Espresso moved to the side and allowed Richard to sit next to Charlotte, while Sugah sat next to him. He felt strange sitting in front of that church with complete strangers, who just so happened to be his new family. In that moment he felt great, restored. His own family had nothing to say to him, but that was something he promised to never bring up ever. If they didn’t want him, he didn’t want to have anything to do with them either.

             
Rev, Wright was just walking out on stage as the praise and worship singers began to sing. The entire church stood to their feet joining in.
Everyone is attendance were clapping, shouting and giving
their praises unto God.
Sugah found herself enjoying the worship that was radiating through the entire place. Nothing mattered in that moment. She was free. She was alive and she didn’t want that feeling to end. She closed her eyes taking
i
t all in. When she felt Espresso’s hand intertwine with hers, she looked down. He squeezed her hand tightly. They swayed to the music freeing themselves from all their fears, insecurities, anger, rage and anything else
plaguing their spirits
. Espresso thought about Mya, but quickly dismissed the thoughts.
They always attended church together.
She was out of his life for good. She lied and betrayed him. He couldn’t be with someone like that. But the tugging at his heart was unbearable.
He thought of Mocha and how it would be being with her, and thought better of it. She wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, and made that fact clear each and every time they were together. The woman seemed damaged, like a dude even, at times. All she wanted from him was sex, also making that very apparent after the first few encounters they had. Would he spend the rest of his life alone? Would he ever find the right one for him?
He suddenly couldn’t breathe. Sugah grasped his hand tighter. She knew that he was fighting with himself
,
and she just wanted to assure him that he wasn’t alone.

             
Charlotte looked at her daughter and her friend. She felt overjoyed to know that if she didn’t beat her deadly disease that Sugah had someone in her life to watch over her.
Thinking of her only sister, Charlotte felt tears stream down her face. She loved and adored her sister, but they hadn’t spoken in
over 34
years. When their parents died, they had been separated. She went to live with her aunt Margaret, while their mother
’s
sister Eugenia kept her sister. Maybe she would try to locate her just in case something bad happened to her. That way Sugah could at least know she had an aunt and two cousins
, which was discovered years ago after Charlotte paid someone to locate her sister again
.
Sadly, she never found the courage to reach out to them. She still kept the number she had on her sister tucked away in her jewelry box.
Charlotte
locked arms with Richard. She silently thanked God for him and all that he had done for
her
and what he promised to do for her daughter should anything happen to her. Charlotte released all the pinned up emotions she fought hard to
keep at bay. She wept. She let i
t all out during worship service, and when Rev. Wright took to the podium
, he began singing Charlotte’s favorite song. “They said I wouldn’t make it…they said I wouldn’t amount to anything…”

Sugah watched her mother. She knew the song meant a lot to her because she always sang or played that particular song had things seemed at their lowest for them. “
I’m still holding on
”
was one of Sugah’s favorite songs
too
and when Reverend Wright finished, he went straight into another hymn, leaving the congregation shouting, crying and praising God even louder.
The message was loud
and clear, “I won’t complain.
God’s been so good to me, more than this ole world could ever be, so I’ll say thank you Lord, I…I won’t complain!” There wasn’t a dry eye in the building. Charlotte, Richard, Sugah and even Espresso joined in, singing their praises to God.
Sugah learned that day that Espresso had a great singing voice. He sounded like Tyrese but with a gospel upbringing. She watched him sing with such emotion, conviction, anointing. He was truly a great man. Someone she was proud to be in company with. Sugah was in awe of him in that moment as he sang while tears rolled down his face. He was
vulnerable
, human, simply a man searching for peace and love. Their bond grew stronger
as they held hands, listening to the Reverend’s powerful message.

When the service was over, they felt renewed, invigorated. The message from Rev. Wright gave them hope. “Don’t settle for less, when God wants you with the best!”
Sugah thought about Coffee, wondering if he was her best. Espresso thought about Mya, was she his best? And Charlotte looked over at Richard, knowing that God had given her the very best.
She also knew in that moment that the best was yet to come
for them all
.

             
As they
got
ready to leave
for brunch with the others, Sugah
c
ouldn’t stop smiling. She beamed like the sun. “What has you smiling lik
e that,” Espresso wanted to know
. He felt his own smile creeping across his face.

“I could ask you t
he
same question,” Sugah said. They followed her mother and Richard in her car, and would meet everyo
ne else at the restaurant. She c
ouldn’t wait to see Coffee
, but an energy was radiating between her and Espresso
.
And not the kind of energy between friends, something deeper, powerful, new, what was happening? He watched her watch him, wondering if she was feeling what he was feeling. What if crept into his mind, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He loved Sugah like a sister. They were friends. She was in love with his best friend, and he wasn’t so sure about his feelings toward two other women in his life. No, nothing could happen with them. It was just too risky, and could be damaging to their friendship if things turned out bad. Espresso looked out the window trying to focus on something other than the sudden need to touch the beautiful woman sitting next to him.

The desire to see Coffee grew as Sugah fought her raging emotions. She
also wanted to see Cap and see how his reaction to her would be today. After the fashion show he was different toward
s
her. Like he despised her or something
,
and seeing him talking with Mya made her suspicions r
a
ise more. Those two were connected, but how? Did the others know about Cap’s interaction with Mya
at the fashion show
? Sugah doubted that, because of all the information she knew regarding their history. She
also
knew that they didn’t know anything about Cappuccino’s relationship with her. She wanted to warn them all but thought better of it. Sugah decided to wait and do a bit more research before bringing anyone else into whatever it was they had going on.

             
“Hey Sis, you okay? What’s going on in that
big
head of yours? You know that you can tell me anything, right. I am here for you. You and your mom
s
are the family that I wish that I had, so don’t ever think that you cannot come to me about anything, okay.”
Espresso meant those words with every fiber of his being. He wanted Sugah to know that she was safe with him, that he had her back. She was now a part of him. Nothing would ever change that!

             
Sugah just kept looking at
the road. She didn’t know what to say. She was overjoyed to have Espresso in her life now more than ever. If anything went wrong, she knew that he would alw
ays be there for her. “Thanks S
o
,
that means more to me than you could possibly know.” She wanted to change the subject before she said anything. “So, how did you like church? Rev. Wright is amazing. I am glad you decided to join us this morning.”

             
“Man, church was off the chain. Rev. is powerful. I think I may be attending more regularly. Thanks for inviting me. I have a lot to think about. That message truly hit home for me. It was like he was speaking directly to me or something. I have never experienced anything so profound like that before. To be honest, it’s kinda freaking me da hell out. That shit
…I mean, that
is crazy! Sorry about the swearing, but it
is
.”

             
Sugah laughed. “I’m a bit freaked out myself. But that’s Rev. Wright for you. He always has a powerful message that makes you think.
When I first started attending that church I was the same way, but I am so glad that God led me there. Well, actually a lady I knew from working part-time at Saks invited me one Sun
day and I have been attending since
. I told my mom about it and she has been attending since she has been in town. I think she and Mr. B have even met with Rev. Wright a few times and attend weekly b
ible study. They
seemed to enjoy it
.
I think those two are really hitting it off.”

             
“I think they are doing more than that, Sis. I can look in that man’s eyes and see that he is in love with your mother. And I don’t blame him because she is a very wonderful and beautiful woman. She is sweet, kind and loves your ass to death. She reminds me…” Espresso stopped speaking. He couldn’t bring himself to say those words. He missed his mother deeply and wanted to see her, but that wasn’t possible.

             
“She reminds you of whom
?” Sugah asked. There was something deeper there. She didn’t wanna push So into saying something he wasn’t ready for, but she could see that he
was hurting, longing or hoping.
“So, you can share with me. I won’t say a word of what is said in this car to anyone, ever. You can trust me. I promise!”

             
“Sugah, I know that I can trust you, but I don’t trust myself when it comes to this complicated situation. Please, can we just forget about it for now? When the time is right, we will talk about it but I’m not ready to do that right now.
I hope you can respect that.” Espresso paused and stared out the window for a few seconds before speaking again. Sugah knew that there was something deeper than Mya haunting him, so she backed off. He would talk when he was ready. She
’d
wait until he was ready and able to speak again.

Espresso glanced over at Sugah. He was blessed to have her in his life but it was also painful just looking at her. Each time he saw her, he pictured Charm to look just like her all grown up. Too bad he wouldn’t ever get to see her reach womanhood, none of them would. She was taken from them, too soon. He stopped himself from thinking of his “heart” as he always referred to his sister and smiled at Sugah. She helped make the pain in his heart bearable. “
Church was amazing. I may have to join you more often. I cannot remember the last time I was in a church
,
”
he said calmly
repeating what he had just said to her minutes ago
.
That wasn’t entirely a lie
or the truth
.
Espresso could remember, but he refused to share that painful memory with Sugah. Thinking about why he had been in the church almost made him scream. It should have been him instead of his little sister.
If only he had not been late picking her up from school that day, she would have never gotten into that car with that sick son-of-a-bitch. She would still be alive, safe and the happy-go-lucky little angel that she was. She was his heart. She was all of their he
arts
,
but it was his job as her big brother to protect her
. Charm was their all
.
S
he was so beautiful and smart
,
and her laughter filled their home every day until that horrible tragedy happened.