Sultry Groove (Reckless Beat #4) (22 page)

Time to leave.

“You don’t understand how much you’ve hurt me,” Blair continued. “I lost you, without explanation. Do you know how much that stings?”

Leave. Leave
now. Do not
pass go,
do not
collect two hundred dollars.

“I was actually relieved to the point of tears that you spoke to me on the phone earlier today.” Blair’s footsteps approached behind her, putting Melody more on edge. “You don’t even call anymore. So when you showed up, I was hoping I was going to get the old Mel back. The one who puffed her chest out and told the world who was boss. The same person who used to fill me in on all her sexual escapades without eluding a single detail. But that’s not the case, is it? Because although you’re here talking to me, I can tell you’re not the person I used to know.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” Melody turned, giving her sister a brief glance before focusing on the archway leading to the front door. “I better get going.”

“Christ, come on, Mel. Can’t you even talk to me anymore?” Blair raised her arms in exasperation. “What the hell happened to the sister I used to know?”

She died from the overwhelming self-pity that followed a life-changing motorcycle accident.

“You’re right. I am different.” Melody kept her gaze lowered as she passed her sister. She tried to keep her bitterness in check. It crept up on her like always. There was no control to stop it. “And I’m sorry I hurt you. That was never my intent. But I didn’t come here tonight to discuss my career.”

She’d needed someone to talk to. Anyone. And there weren’t a lot of options left when she’d shut herself off from those who had previously been a part of her life.

“I know.” Blair’s fingers gripped gently around Melody’s upper arm. “Please, talk to me.”

The need to be comforted was overwhelming. She wanted someone to hold her. To tell her this disastrous part of her life was only a blip on the radar, not a defining moment to change her forever. She needed guidance and support. She just wasn’t sure she could take losing her last ounce of pride to be able to expose her flaws to the one person she truly admired. Whenever she closed her eyes, the fond memories of the past were shattered with the remembrance of the darkened, raw flesh on her leg.

“I lost myself, Blair.” Tears stung her eyes as she stepped away from her sister, needing space to keep herself emotionally detached. “I had the perfect life, and everything I’d ever wanted, and now it’s all gone. I’m never going to get it back.”

Blair’s brow furrowed. “Is this about Simon?”

“
No
.” The denial left her mouth without thought. Apart from the careless way her ex discarded her in the hospital, she tried not to think about the bastard at all. She never really cared much for him. It was sex and companionship. There was no love. There wasn’t even a hint of the thrill she’d experienced with Sean. “This has nothing to do with him. Well, the accident did. But the aftermath doesn’t involve him at all.”

“Then tell me.”

Melody swallowed over the bile rising up her throat and lowered her gaze to her left leg. This moment was inevitable. In the back of her mind, she’d known it had to happen, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. She raised her chin, met her sister’s gaze and lowered the waistband of her pants to expose the scarred flesh to mid-thigh.

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.” Blair raised a hand to cover her mouth.

There were no placating words. Her sister stared, letting the horror in her features speak louder than anything else could. Melody broke out in a cold sweat. She was stripped bare, her heart in Blair’s hands, and all she wanted to do was hide.

“I’m actually lucky.” She spoke to fight the need to run. “Or so the doctor said. There was no muscle or bone damage. Only skin.” Almost
all
her skin.

“And you went through this all by yourself?” Tears glittered in Blair’s eyes as she raised her focus to Melody.

“I didn’t want it any other way.”

“And you’re all right now, aren’t you?” Her sister was breathless. “Apart from the scarring, you’re fine?”

“I’m in pain. All the time.” She pulled the waistband of her pants back into place and gave Blair a sad smile. “Although the wound has healed, the nerves were severed. They’re constantly trying to reattach themselves to something that isn’t there. Sometimes I can ignore the consistent throb. It’s when I’m emotional or stressed that the pain increases.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Melody released a derisive laugh. “You said that already.”

“This isn’t funny. I’m…” Blair shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing you can say, which is why I kept it to myself. Your reaction was exactly what I expected, and the main reason I didn’t tell anyone. Especially Mom.”

“That’s unfair.” Blair dropped her hand to her side with wide eyes. “You didn’t prepare me. I had no clue. You can’t spring this on to someone who cares for you and not expect them to be shocked.”

“I expected the shock. It’s the revulsion I can’t stand.”

“Jesus, snap out of it, Mel. I’m not revolted by this. I’m heartbroken. I’m angry and bitter and surprised. But I’m not revolted. You had an accident. You have a scar. That’s it. End of story. I’m just devastated you can no longer dance because of it.”

Melody broke eye contact and focused on trying to stop her heel from thumping against the floor in an obvious display of anxiety.

“Mel?”
Shit.
“What else are you hiding?”

“Fuck it,” Melody muttered to herself. There was no point lying anymore. “The wound will never stretch. I had to have skin taken from my right thigh to place over the wound—four grafts, which were brutal. But…” She swallowed, already anticipating how her sister would react. “I can still dance. My movements are no longer inhibited, apart from a little additional pain if I overextend.”

“Then why—”

“Don’t go there, Blair.”

“You can dance, right? So why did you quit performing altogether to become a
choreographer
?” Blair screwed up her nose. “I know you. There’s no way you’d be satisfied with your work in the studio.”

“I’m satisfied.” Plain and simple satisfaction. It was nowhere near the undiluted euphoria of working in her dream job, but it was as close as she would ever get.

“Don’t lie.” Her sister’s voice rose. “I’m sick of the god-damn lies.”

“You expect me to perform like this?” Melody waved a hand toward her thigh, matching the annoyance in Blair’s tone. “No celebrity wants a disfigured dancer on their stage. Simon reiterated my thoughts as soon as he was faced with the damage.”

“Yeah, well, Simon’s a fucking asshole. The guy’s a douche, and the only reason I didn’t tell you sooner is because I knew he was only a fling to keep you company on tour.” The color began to creep back into Blair’s features. “And why did he continue with the tour? Wasn’t he in the accident as well?”

“Yeah,” Melody murmured. “But he was smart enough to have full riding leathers on. He hired a Harley and had been cruising the Paris streets for two days. My ride wasn’t planned. I jumped on the back of the bike in a dress, and was lucky one of the stage crew threw me his jacket before we took off. The crash wasn’t that bad. Simon wasn’t going fast when he lost control in loose gravel.”

“So it was a case of bad luck.”

“More like stupidity and fate,” she whispered. “I’ve lived a blessed life for so long it was only natural the tables would turn.”

“You think you deserve this?”

Melody shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know much of anything anymore. All that’s clear is that what I had is gone, and I’m never going to perform again.”

“Well, shit, Mel.” Blair strode back into the kitchen and opened the cupboard beside the oven. “You were right about needing something stronger to drink, and I’m not even talking about the drummer of yours.” She retrieved a bottle of tequila and a novelty salt shaker in the shape of a half-naked male. “I don’t have any lime, but I think I’m good to drink without it tonight, how ‘bout you?”

Melody smiled. “I can’t. I have to drive home.”

“
No
. Spend the night.” Blair cracked the lid on the bottle. “Please. I’m not ready to let you leave yet. I finally have my sister back. We have so much to talk about. And besides, we need to figure out a game plan for when you catch up with your stud tomorrow.”

Melody no longer had the desire to dwell on her situation with Sean. Her sister calmed her, the same way she had in the past. Her love was a heady sensation after being without family for so long, and she vowed to herself to fix her isolation from her parents as well. In time. “OK. I just can’t drink too much. I have to get up early in the morning.”

“That’s cool. As long as you’re prepared to share all the juicy details on this drummer of yours.” Blair waggled her brows.

“He isn’t mine.” Melody chuckled as her sister pretended to make out with the side of the tequila bottle. “And I can’t tell you much, anyway. We only had sex in the dark, so I can’t even tell you what his assets look like.”

“Well, you can,” her sister countered. “We just might need to revisit that sexy porn video to refresh your memory.”

“Sorry I’m late.”
Sean dropped his keys and wallet on the wooden bench and focused on Red seated in the middle of the studio floor.

“No problem. Start warming up, so we can get straight into it.” She flexed her legs, not meeting his gaze as she reached for her toes to stretch.

“Melody, I’m sorry.”

“I heard you.” Her voice was chipper, entirely fake, along with the smile plastered on her lips. “And like I said, it’s no problem.” She stood, brushing the non-existent dust off the ass of her loose pants and strode for the sound system in the corner. “If necessary, we can run a little later tonight to make up for lost time.”

He’d stewed on his stupidity all night, not sure whether he should get out of bed and go see her, or leave it until now, when she’d had space to figure out all the questions she’d need answers to. “We both know I’m no longer talking about being late.”

She ignored him and pressed play on the stereo. “Sean, I’m exhausted. I didn’t even have time to get home and have a shower before class this morning. Let’s just get through the task at hand and ignore what happened, OK?”

His chest throbbed. Spots may have even blurred his vision. “You didn’t sleep at home?”
Christ
. Mason was right. He should’ve gone after her last night.

“You need to get into position.”

She sashayed forward, starting the routine as music began to fill the room. She approached, bringing them toe to toe, then turned, giving him her back. He knew the drill. He remembered the moves. She was going to side-step away from him, starting the tease.

Not today.

He clamped his hands on her waist and dragged her back. She stiffened, and for a moment, they remained silent. He heard her breathing. He could feel it, too. Her back rubbed against his chest, torturing him, killing him with the thought of her being with another man.

“Where did you spend the night?” He locked his jaw and stared over her head at the far wall. Her hair was in his periphery. The gorgeous sunset strands tempted his fingers. He didn’t know what he was going to do if he didn’t like her answer. He wasn’t a pussy. Begging wasn’t his style. However, he also wasn’t the type to withstand defeat. If she’d jumped some other guy last night, he’d walk out the door, and he wasn’t sure he’d come back. Music clip or not.

“Does it matter?” she whispered.

She leaned forward and he held her in place, not letting her go, not even sure if his fingers were digging into her.

“It matters to me. You know it does.”

In a flash of fiery hair she spun to face him. “I don’t know
shit
, Sean.” Her frown was menacing. “Actually, I
do
know something. I now know the reason you needed a distraction. I
now
know I was—” She clamped her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut with a wince. “Forget it.” She grabbed his wrists and slowly added pressure until he released his grip. “Do you want to get started or not?”

“No.” His voice was fiercer than necessary. It worked a fucking charm. Red opened her eyes and gave a heavy swallow. “I have something to say. Except, I’m going to keep my trap shut if you were with another guy last night.”

“Do you really think one-night stands are fun for me?” She jutted her chin. “That I go out and take pleasure in explaining my sexual hang ups to random men for thirty seconds of mild satisfaction?”

“
Fuck
.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes, hating the vision of another man driving into her. “So does that mean you didn’t sleep with anyone else?”

Her shoulders sagged with an exhale. “Look, Sean. We need to be able to work together. We can either continue this awkward conversation, or forget last night ever happened.”

The heat in his veins turned volcanic. His palms began to sweat. “Melody,
please
.” He didn’t want to lose her, and the slow burn of destruction was tearing him to shreds. “Just tell me where you spent the night.”

He could see it—her naked body, her splayed hair. He could hear it, too. All the breathy moans and fucked-up pleasure. His blood boiled, preparing to kill whoever she shared herself with.

She planted her hands on her hips and stared at him. Glared, actually. And as the seconds ticked by, the tension in her features dissipated. She began seeing into him, touching his heart with the glimpse of fragility. “No, Sean. I crashed at my sister’s.”

She diverted her gaze, focusing on her feet as her heel bobbed up and down, jolting her leg. “And when I told her what happened, it made me realize I had no right to act the way I did.” Her voice lowered to a dull whisper. “You and Sidney are none of my business. I had no right to react that way. This thing between us was only meant to be casual fun. I knew that. We both did. I’m the one that made the mistake. Maybe if I’d asked why I was a distraction, I’d have earned the right to be mad, but in honesty, I’d like to think you would’ve told me the truth. I should be the one apologizing.”

“I agree.” Her head snapped up, and he had the pleasure of watching her barely contained annoyance. “We did say this was all for fun, and I’d like to think I would’ve told you the truth as well. But I lied when I said I was only after something casual. I’m not after a fun time. I never have been, and I should’ve told you sooner. I just needed to get my head straight about Sidney first.”

Red cringed.

He had to refrain from doing the same. “Want me to explain so you’ve got all the gory details?”

“Is it really necessary?”

He shrugged. “I want you to be comfortable with me. And her.”

She didn’t respond. Her wince remained in place. There was no choice. He was going to tell her everything and hope she understood where his infatuation had come from.

“I was going through a pretty fucked-up time. I wasn’t happy with my position in the band. I’m still not. And then Sidney came back into our lives.” His throat tightened at the memory. At his stupidity. “A lifetime ago we did something idiotic, and the sex tape has haunted us ever since—”

She turned and walked toward the stereo system. “I don’t need to hear this.”

“Yeah, you do.” He raised his voice over the music. “Because I plan to take this thing between us further.”

Her footsteps faltered. Stopped. And that arrogant chin of hers rose.

“I hadn’t seen Sidney in a long time. I hadn’t even thought much of her until I found out she was at Mason’s property, working on our next album.” He remembered the phone call from Leah and the immediate increase of his heart rate, both in concern for her, and in hope. He’d had nothing—a career he didn’t get credit for, no love life, a sterile sex life, and friends who were becoming the fucking Brady Bunch of marriage. It was like a switch had been flicked. He wanted what they had, and Sidney was the perfect candidate to help him achieve it.

“I fell for her for the wrong reasons. I didn’t want to be the weak link in the band. I didn’t like being looked down on. I guess I hoped Sidney would keep my mind away from my failures, and I became obsessed with trying to obtain the respite I needed from her.”

“Sounds a lot like a distraction to me,” she drawled. “Wasn’t I the same thing?”

He deserved that. “Honestly? At the start, you were. But things quickly changed.”

She turned, her eyes now filled with a hope that made his chest restrict in the best fucking way. “How?”

“There’s no obsession with you—”

“Oh, you flatterer.” She rolled her eyes.

“Because when I was with Sidney, I was constantly trying to forget my failures. When I was around her, I still struggled to hide the thoughts that taunted me. And with you, they don’t even exist. When we’re together, the world doesn’t mean shit. I don’t care about my career, or what I want in life. All I can think about is you.”

The self-castration wasn’t so bad when he received a dumbfounded look in return. Melody was in shock, her lips slightly parted, her eyes blinking in a daze.

“You made me realize my infatuation was for what Sidney stood for, not what she actually meant to me. Yes, she’s beautiful and will always be a close friend—”

“I’m not entirely sure where you’re going with this. Maybe you should quit while you’re ahead.”

He chuckled and bridged the distance between them, hovering over her. “And maybe you should give me time to explain before I place you in a position where you’ll have no choice but to listen.”

“Fine.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Apparently, watching you dig yourself from one hole to the next is my new pastime.” Her chest rose and fell in rapid succession. Even more tempting, her tongue slipped out to moisten her bottom lip.

“No, Melody,” he drawled her name with slow deliberation. “Your new pastime is me. End of story.”

The corners of her eyes crinkled with the smile spreading her lips. She was gorgeous. So damn gorgeous it hurt deep down in his chest. “Do you forgive me for flying off the handle?”

“Sweetheart, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.” She rested her hand on his sternum and played with the V-neck of his black cotton shirt. “I’ve never been jealous before.”

He frowned. “Never?”

She scrunched her face, shook her head. “I guess I’ve always been…”

“What?” He was dying to know what set him apart from all the other men she’d been with. Despite her fondness for hiding behind sexual excuses, he knew she was a confident woman. Or once had been.

“I’ve never relied on anyone else for my happiness.” She raised her gaze, pinning him through the heart with the sadness in her eyes. “I know you said you want more, and believe me, I want that, too. I’m just not sure if I’m ready.” She swallowed and went back to focusing on the neckline of his shirt. “I’m still dealing with a lot of changes in my life.”

“I know.” He cupped her cheek and brushed the pad of his thumb over the smooth, light pink skin.

She shook her head, denying his opinion. Her solemn expression changed, the sadness blinking from her eyes as she tilted her head toward his hand and placed a kiss on his palm.

“We better get started,” she murmured. “Tonight, I need to record the routine to send to Sasha. She already knows her side of the performance, and watching us together will better prepare her for working with you.”

He didn’t want to cut their conversation short. In New York and last night, all he could think about was clearing the air. Not only of his Sidney issues, but the ones surrounding her scar, too. He was dying for her to let him in, and every time she held back was a blow to his ego. And now that he’d won her over, the thought of dancing with someone else to finalize this project sat like a lead balloon in his stomach.

One step forward, two steps back.

“Want me to record it on my phone?” He turned, heading to the bench seat to hide his disappointment.

“That’d be great. It’ll save me getting my cell from the kitchen.”

When he turned back around, sterile emotion hit him. There was no joy in Melody’s features. In fact, she was staring at the floor in silent contemplation, her lips downcast in sorrow.

“Are we good, Red?” He wanted to quit the endearment. Saying her name right now would break him. Tonight had turned out better than he anticipated, and yet he was still defeated. He wanted her to lower her guard and trust him. He wanted the giddy, obsession-filled love his best friends seemed to have, not the continuous struggle to tip-toe around issues that didn’t matter to him in the least. Not that he loved her…
Fuck.
Maybe he did.

She snapped from her daze and raised a brow. “Yeah, why?”

“I don’t want you to worry about us. I’m not going to push, OK?” No matter how bad the nagging pain in his chest became. “If you want me to spend the night, I’ll spend the night. If you don’t—” He shrugged. “—I’ll be fine with that too. For however long it takes. I’ll even help you take those photos down from your wall if you want. I just want us to be together.”

She flashed him a smile. “Thank you.”

Yep, he was falling. Too hard. Too fast. Either that, or someone had slipped some hash into his last meal because his heart was beating a mile a minute. And with the increased sense of vulnerability, he wasn’t sure which cause he’d prefer.