Summer Burns (21 page)

"
You know that will not happen,
"
Mom said.

"
Exactly. It shouldn
'
t ever happen. But it did.
"
She ran her hands over her head, and holy moly, were those tears in her heavily-made up eyes?

"
Well, if it
'
s any consolation, he
'
s never once asked about you,
"
I added, which actually made her cry as she went inside.

I glanced at my mom.
"
I completely didn
'
t see that one coming.
"

Mom shrugged.
"
They were young and in love once. But they had different paths in life.
"

I nodded. In my head, I tried to mix the guy I knew as Louie Castle--the canine unit officer--with my sister.
"
I would have never guessed she would be with someone like him.
"

Mom shrugged.
"
We all make mistakes.
"

"
I guess.
"
I said. I was starting to get hot in the sunshine. Already it had to be nearing one hundred degrees.
"
Seriously Mom, we need a tree out here or something.
"

"
Where would you suggest?
"
Mom covered her eyes so the sun didn
'
t glare in her face and gestured to the concrete alleyway behind the strip mall. All the stores opened up to the back alley for deliveries and such, and it wasn
'
t pretty back here, but it worked as a place to get away for a minute if anyone needed to.

We did have a couple of concrete benches against the building and the bucket that had been dubbed the
'
cigarette-butt graveyard,
'
for the smokers. Still, when that sun got overhead, wow.

It was stifling.

"
Maybe an awning or something?

"
You build it, you can have it,
"
my mother said.
"
And Matthew is here.
"

I blinked.
"
Why didn
'
t you say so?
"

"
I just did.
"

I darted back inside, and found Matthew at the front desk, talking with Autumn. More like listening to her whine about this horrid infraction of me not telling her that her ex came in here to get a haircut.

Seriously.
I was going to break my eyeballs with all the eye rolling she caused, I swear.

"
Autumn,
"
I said.

Matthew glanced at me and held up a bag.
"
Thought you would like some lunch.
"

I blushed and warm fuzzies ran through me, because, yeah, I hadn
'
t eaten much today. And I didn
'
t think anyone had ever just brought me lunch. Even my husband.

"
Thank you.
"
I gave him a hug, and I sniffed a couple times, because the gesture touched me so much. It was stupid, but I had to blink away the tears in my eyes. Yep, I
'
m sappy when it came to stuff like this. I kept myself turned away from him so he wouldn
'
t see my goofiness, and gestured for him to follow me to the back.

He was in his fatigues, cutting a very nice silhouette, and several of the little old ladies sat up and took notice.

And also made comments about how handsome he was. And his attention to me. And their own speculations.

Great. If only when I
'
m eighty, can I be so lucky to be so ornery.

Then there
'
s the one client I didn
'
t particularly want to notice him--Shelby. She sat on the far side of the salon, getting a pedicure. The way her gaze ran over Matthew made me want to go shove her face in the foot-bath until she blew bubbles.

If Matthew noticed her attention, he didn
'
t acknowledge it. However, if he was anything like Jake, he always noticed details. Hopefully he was too busy being embarrassed by the senior commentary.

Just stepping off the noisy salon floor, I smirked, because he looked a bit uncomfortable.

"
What
'
s the matter, Matthew? Need some Estrogen-Be-Gone?
"

He grinned.
"
Well, when you
'
re as hot as I am
..."
He puffed up his chest.

I laughed. We went into the break room, where several coworkers were having lunch.

"
Um,
"
I muttered.
"
Well, it
'
s kinda crowded in here.
"
I didn
'
t realize that everyone was taking a lunch right now, or so it seemed--the break room was packed with coworkers. Okay, four, but still
...?

"
Go in the massage room,
"
Audra said as she sipped on her tea.

I blinked.
"
Um, that might not be appropriate.
"
My cheeks got warm.

Massage rooms, in theory, are just for massages. But there
'
s this whole sexual connotation--the idea of naughty things happening in massage parlors and such, I didn
'
t want Matthew thinking I was thinking that way.

Which I so totally was, though I didn
'
t mean to.

It just sort of popped in there.

Because regardless of how we ended the night the other day, he was still cute. When we parted after our rainy evening, I wasn
'
t sure he would want to see me again.

I tried a few overly long texts last night, but either they didn
'
t go through or he didn
'
t want to talk to me.

So his appearance at the salon meant more than I wanted to articulate in front of coworkers.

I met his gaze, and I had a feeling he wanted to talk too.

Audra smirked. I was pretty sure she thought she knew exactly what I was thinking. My warm cheeks probably didn
'
t help.
"
Your mom eats in there all the time when she wants to be alone,
"
Audra said.

"
It
'
s fine, I can go back to work,
"
Matthew said. I felt his hand brush the small of my back, and I wasn
'
t ready for him to leave yet.

We needed to talk.

"
No, Audra
'
s right. We can go in the massage room.
"
I led him to the massage room.

"
Summer, I can go,
"
he said as he stepped into the hall with me.

I shook my head.
"
I don
'
t want you to.
"
I looked into his eyes and found myself caught--he held me there, without a word, and I felt that zing between us.

Which really sucked, because I didn
'
t want to feel a zing at all.

I wanted to
...

Matthew pushed the door to the massage room open.
"
Here,
"
he said, breaking the silence between us.

The earthy smells of Mom
'
s oil collection wafted out to greet us. This was Mom
'
s domain, hence the very eccentric décor of dreamcatchers, feathers, and other Native American totems in between bottles and bowls and measuring cups.

"
Wow,
"
Matthew said.

I shrugged.
"
I know. Mom likes her stuff.
"
The room smelled strongly of sage.

He gestured to the massage table.
"
Why is there a hole in the one end of that table?
"

"
So you can lay on your stomach and still breathe.
"

He tipped his head to the side, then nodded.
"
Okay.
"
He sat the lunch bag down, and I grabbed a couple of towels.

He put his hand on my arm.

I froze.

"
We okay?
"
he asked.

"
Don
'
t know, are we?
"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Started scrolling through it.

I raised my eyebrow, immediately wondering if whatever zing I
'
d felt before was my imagination, because his attention seemed squarely on his phone.

"
If you have to take a call,
"
I started.

"
In answer to your questions--one, no. I wouldn
'
t be as involved with you if I was just fulfilling a promise.
"

My cheeks grew hot.

He was re-reading--and answering--my texts from last night.

"
Matthew--
"

He held up a finger.
"
No. I will not discuss those events that day. You don
'
t need to know what happened. It was war. Some things are not worth knowing. You are better off not knowing.
"

I nodded. I probably didn
'
t need to know the details of Jake
'
s death.

"
You don
'
t have to--
"

"
Lastly, you were always special to me, Summer. Did Jake know that? No idea at the time. I think now, anyway, he knew I cared. Or he wouldn
'
t have asked me to check on you.
"

Dumbfounded, I stared as he put away his phone.

"
Still hungry?
"

I nodded. What could I say? I was on info overload.

I should have considered before but didn
'
t until last night anyway really consider. Matthew was there when Jake died. He knew how and why my husband didn
'
t make it.

More than I knew, in any case.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I figured Matthew and Jake made some soldier
'
s promise over a can of baked beans one night.

I didn
'
t think that it might have actually been made on Jake
'
s last dying breath. The concept hit me hard--possibly as hard as the actual death had hit me.

And because there
'
s a yin to every yang, this other side of me is flabbergasted at Matthew
'
s admission that he
'
d always cared about me. School memories played in my mind, and I remember Matthew being there, but there was very little. He
'
d been Jake
'
s rival on the wrestling team. Why would I have had anything to do with him? I wasn
'
t mean to him or anything, I just, well, Jake was my focus.

I didn
'
t know what I was supposed to say, so I started spreading out lunch. Using the massage table as a, well, table, we both stood on one side to eat. He
'
d brought two sandwiches from the deli down the way in the strip mall, I recognized the sandwich wrappers.

"
You okay?
"
he asked after he
'
d taken a bite.

"
Yeah.
"
The sandwich he
'
d brought me was exactly what I needed. Lots of lunchmeat, cheese and veggies.

Focusing on the sandwich kept my brain from crossing into all the swirling feelings.

Because there were a lot.

"
Listen, I--
"