Summer Rush (19 page)

Taking a deep breath and wiping the tears from my face, I open the truck door and drive towards the beach. I don’t know if he’s there, but if nothing else, I can roll down my window and enjoy the scent of the ocean.
I’ll take what I can get.

Without realizing it I take the longer route, the way you would go if you wanted to drive by Joey’s house on the way. My heart beat accelerates when I see his car parked in the driveway.

He’s home.

Pulling into the beach parking lot, I park between two other cars, the front of the truck facing the ocean. He’s here, but he’s not surfing. He’s sitting on the sand, arms resting on his knees, staring out over the water. Wanting to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the ocean with him, I step out of my truck and jump up onto the hood. Closing my eyes I breathe in the crisp ocean air, letting the euphoria it brings cleanse my veins and work through my body. Opening my eyes, I feel a little more at peace. Joey hasn’t moved–he’s still sitting there motionless. Feeling a calmness come over me, I continue to sit here and enjoy the beach, with Joey.

Glancing down at my watch, it’s already time for me to get home.
I can’t believe we’ve been sitting here for an hour already.
Hopping down, I get in the driver’s seat and turn on the engine. In that moment, I see Joey stand up and look in my direction. Locking our eyes together, I swear my breathing stops as my heart jumps out of my chest. Our expressions are blank and we don’t move a muscle. We just stare at each other. Swallowing the pool of saliva filling my mouth, I shift the truck in reverse and make my way back home.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart,” my dad greets me as I enter the kitchen.

“Mornin,” I answer, pulling a mug down from the cupboard before pouring myself a cup of coffee. “How’s mom?”

“Fed, showered, and dressed,” he responds like any other morning.

Pulling me into his side and kissing the top of my head, he asks, “How are you doing, sweetheart? You know, with the whole Joey thing?”

Unfortunately my hope of brushing it under the table and avoiding the conversation with him doesn’t appear like it is going to happen. I suck it up and face the music.

“I don’t know, dad,” I answer honestly. “I really don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“Well, let us know if you need anything, sweetheart. We’re here if you need us,” he says before kissing the top of my head again. “I’ll see you later. Mom’s in the living room watching her news.” He picks up his travel mug and heads off to work, but not before he stops and says goodbye to my mom.

That’s it? He doesn’t have anything else to say about it?

Shocked that we haven’t had the long drawn out conversation that I was expecting, I shrug my shoulders and count myself lucky. Catching them out of the corner of my eye, I watch and admire my parents as my dad kisses my mom goodbye and whispers something in her ear, making her giggle before he leaves. I hope to find love like the love my parents share. It runs deeper than any love that I’ve ever seen before. I imagine they are just as in love now as the day they got married, maybe even more.

Although I don’t feel like doing anything, I realize life must still go on and there are things I must still get done. Falling back into our normal routine, I check in on my mom and see if she needs anything before heading for a shower.

The day continues on like any other. I do homework while my mom watches her shows. We have lunch and she takes a nap while I enjoy a little reading, escaping into the world of love and lust. Before I know it, my dad’s pulling into the driveway and I get ready to head out to work.

“Hey, pretty lady!” Sheila greets me as I walk into work.

“Hi, Sheila,” I respond with my best fake smile.

Pretending to be happy and pleasant tonight is going to take some serious effort. I can already tell.

“Oh darlin’, I almost forgot. These beauties are yours,” Sheila says, handing me a huge bouquet of flowers that is sitting on the front counter.

Giving her a shocked look, I ask, “These are mine?”

“Well, you’re the only Hope Taylor I know and that’s what the card says,” she says with a wink.

Carrying them back to the waitress area and taking a sniff on my way there, I place them on the counter and pull the card free. Recognizing the writing from my letter this morning, my stomach churns as I open it up.

Closing my eyes and holding the small card to my chest, I’m startled when Kelly comes up next to me.

“Ugh, why do you always get the perfect guys?” she complains, smelling the flowers.

Feeling the tears start to build in my eyes, I shrug my shoulders and give her a glum look.

“Oh no,” she says, seeing my obvious sadness before hugging me. “What’s wrong? What happened?” she asks with a single breath.

I know that if I open my mouth to try and explain any of it, the tears that I’m holding will come out in full force, so I shake my head no, indicating I don’t want to talk about it right now.

“Okay. Later?” she asks with sympathetic eyes.

“Yeah…thanks,” I whisper past the knot in my throat that’s itching to get out.

“Hope, two at table one!” Sheila announces across the restaurant.

Taking a deep breath, and wrapping my apron around my waist, I pull myself together before making my way to my first table.

Thankfully I manage to work through the rest of the night without shedding a tear. My stomach remains knotted, and my heart aches every time I walk past my flower arrangement from Joey, but I am able to hold myself together, barely. Tonight is oddly slow, so Sheila lets Kelly go home early, getting me out of my obligation to explain the Joey situation to her…for now.

As soon as I get home, I quickly get ready for bed, exhausted to the core. After brushing my teeth, I come back to my bedroom and see the green light flashing on my cellphone, indicating that I have a missed text message. Unlocking the screen, I find out it’s from Joey. Feeling the anxiety building, I take a deep breath before opening it up.

Oh, how I want to text him back!
To let him know that I’m thinking about him, too. All the time actually, but I don’t. Sighing with mixed emotions, I gently set my phone down on my nightstand before crawling under my cold, lonely covers. In no time at all I drift off to sleep.

No!

Sitting straight up in a panic, breathing heavily and sweating profusely, I look around and take in my surroundings.

Oh, thank god! It was just a dream.It didn’t really happen–everyone is okay!

Taking a deep breath in relief, I run my hands over my face and head, pushing back the stray hairs that have fallen in my face. I dreamt it. I dreamt what I worry might happen if Joey and I ever get back together, if he falls off the bandwagon again.

I dreamt that I was in the passenger seat of Joey’s car during another drunk driving accident. I was begging and pleading for him to pull over and not drive. He wouldn’t listen, assuring me that he was fine. He kept giving me his sexy smirk, telling me everything would be okay. He was patting my leg and not paying attention to the road. The next thing I know, we smash into an oncoming car. I run in front of the car to make sure the other people are okay, but see my father get out of the driver’s side. He is yelling at me, asking me what I did to his wife–that she’s pregnant. I kept screaming no, that it’s not my fault, I tried to get Joey to pull over, but he wouldn’t, and that’s when I woke up. It was so real, like I was really there; like I was living my parent’s and Joey’s worst nightmare. It was horrific and awful and something I never ever want to see or be involved in again.