Summer Solace (18 page)

While she had been calming, the mention of trust upset her greatly. Joanna shouted, “Trust?  Trust! How dare you mention trust to me you son of a bitch! I -” the rest of the words never made it past her lips. In two strides, Gabriel had shoved the bed aside and grabbed her upper arm. Even as she tried to assimilate what was happening, he bent her over her own bed and popped her bottom hard several times.

“You will never disrespect my mother. You can call me names, you can scream and rant and rave and act like a child, but you will respect my parents, especially my mother. Do you understand me, Joanna?”  Gabe’s voice was as hard as granite.

She was barely able to breathe. The swats of his hand weren’t all that painful through her shorts. The shock of it all had her speechless. Gabe continued to swat her bottom, alternating between her cheeks until she finally began to feel a slight burn. She twisted her hips from side to side, but Gabe simply pinned her tighter to the bed and spanked her harder.

With a loud sob, she cried, “Yes!  Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect your mom. Gabe, please, oh God, please stop!” 

His hand immediately stopped its assault. Gabe pulled her up and turned her to face him. Her face flamed with the embarrassment of insulting his mother. She had never even met the woman. She had never truly thought about the phrase before and was ashamed.

“I’m really sorry. I’m just so mad and - and hurt,” she admitted and the tears came. She hadn’t cried during her short spanking but was now sobbing as if she had been over his knee for hours having her bottom tended to.

Gabe pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her. Joanna resisted for a moment but the enormous comfort of being held caused her to lay her head in the crook of his neck and sob as if she’d never stop. Gabe allowed her to cry for a few more minutes and then bent to scoop her up into his arms. He carried her back through the living room and out onto the porch. He seated himself on the swing and settled her onto his lap, keeping her safe and close. He used one foot to push the swing into motion. As they began to rock slowly back and forth, he cradled the sobbing woman on his lap. He understood she was not crying from the spanking, it had been short and sweet and over her clothing. He knew it hadn’t hurt, but it had gotten her attention. Gabe didn’t speak. He simply sat in the quiet night air waiting for the woman he loved to find her way to a place where they could talk.

Joanne slowly calmed, her tears soaking Gabe’s collar. She didn’t know what to say or even if she should say anything. She was insecure in her mind but felt very secure in his arms. Reminding herself that she was an adult, she swiped her cheek with her fingers to remove the traces of her tears. After a few more moments, she began to speak quietly.

“I feel like a fool,” she admitted to both herself and to the man that was holding her so closely.

Gabe’s response was to tighten his hold even more, his foot continuing to rock them both. “There is no need for that, Jo. You are anything but a fool. I know you were upset, honey. Are you ready to listen now?” he asked gently.

She wondered if she would be able to listen to him or trust him to tell her the truth.

Gabe felt her hesitate before he felt a slow nod against his neck. He didn’t remind her to give him a verbal answer. There would be time enough for that later. Right now, he had to get her to trust him again. It really bothered him that she had obviously not meant it when she said she trusted him. He shifted her slightly on his lap so that she could no longer hide her face.

“You said you trusted me, Jo,” he reminded her. “I have given you no reason to doubt me and yet the first reaction you have is to shut me out, blame me for something I haven’t done, and run from me. You promised you’d never run again.” 

She flushed and attempted to turn her head but he cupped her cheek and refused to allow her to move. “You hurt me very much by running, Joanna. I will never betray your trust. I will never lie to you or hurt you in any way. I gave you my trust freely and I accepted yours as well. Can you imagine how I felt when you cursed and ran?  Can you imagine how badly I felt knowing you had no idea what was happening and yet you chose to get away from me as fast as you could?  I don’t imagine you followed the speed limit either which means you placed yourself into unnecessary danger. That makes me feel bad as well.” 

Each of his words was digging straight into her soul. He never raised his voice. His eyes remained locked on hers as his fingertip continued to stroke down her cheek. She wanted to push away and defend her actions but realized she felt guilty for them. She bit her bottom lip until his thumb moved over it gently.

Gabe stroked her lips again and said, “Don’t, you will hurt yourself, Jo, and I don’t want anything to hurt your lips except for mine.” 

She flushed but again gave him a nod.

Smiling, he moved his finger back to her cheek. “Tanya is a woman that believes she wants me,” he started again. He felt her tense but kept going. “I promise, I have never given her any reason to believe I had any interest in her. She is Susan’s best friend and that is how we met. Brian, my youngest brother, and Susan are newlyweds. Brian hadn’t learned how to wear the pants in his family.” 

Her eyebrows rose at that statement but he just grinned. She relaxed more against him, the stiffness of her spine releasing. One hand was now running up and down his chest. It was very distracting, but Gabe allowed it. “I’m pretty sure Susan has learned her lesson this time. Brian had no idea the two had formed some sort of idiotic plan that if Tanya came to our reunion, she’d not only force me to accept her as my girl, I’d actually thank Susan. Needless to say, the plan backfired. You ran, Susan got her butt spanked, Dana is due a spanking for cussing, and Tanya is even now on her way home.” 

Joanna’s eyes widened at that bit of news. Gabe nodded and chuckled. “Of course, I now owe Jake a favor since he is driving her. He won’t make it back till late but I didn’t want Tanya to stay for even a moment.”  His story done, he became quiet and let her make the next move. It took several long moments.

“Oh, God. I feel so stupid. Gabe, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I was just shocked. I mean, I heard her say she was the love of your life, and well, I realized I was half–naked in a truck bed and I - I panicked.” 

Gabe’s lips compressed as he said, “You need never panic with me, Joanna. I would lay down my life for you. I will always keep you safe and protected. I know we discussed the past and agreed to let it stay in the past. I know I can do that, but can you?  Running at the first misunderstanding without even giving me a moment to talk definitely does not show me that you can. Saying you hate me breaks my heart.”  His face showed that she had hurt him deeply.

She blushed. “That was rude. I didn’t mean it. Gabe, I’m just scared,” Joanna admitted. “This - this is so fast and I don’t trust myself.” 

Gabe heard her and understood she was insecure. He bent and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Trust me, Jo. Trust me and I swear I will keep you safe. Will you trust me?” he asked.

She felt her heart flutter and realized that she did. She had been insecure in her own self. Trust was not something easily given but she gave hers to Gabe. She nodded.

This was too important to let go with a nod. “I need to hear you answer, Jo,” Gabe instructed.

She flushed. “Yes. Yes, I trust you,” Joanna said honestly. “I’m really sorry I hurt you and said those things. I swear I won’t run again without talking to you. Can you forgive me, Gabe?” She watched his eyes, her lower lip once more held between her teeth.

Gabe smiled down at her. She wouldn’t be thrilled with his answer, but he was of the mind that she should be aware of everything up front.

“I will forgive you, Jo.” 

Her eyes flashed with relief and then she realized he had said he ‘would’ forgive her, not that he ‘had’ forgiven her. She understood there was more to come.

He watched her and continued. “You swore you’d never run again, and that is good. However, young lady, swearing and cursing are not allowed, and you’ve already had your bottom spanked twice for it. Vulgar words will not come out of the mouth that I kiss. You are far too intelligent and far too lovely to debase yourself by spewing ugly, filthy words. Can you guess what happens to little girls that forget to be ladylike and cuss like sailors?” 

She blushed, his words causing her to feel the shame of her swearing. The guilt flowed through her. She had a pretty good idea of what happened to any girl or woman in his family that had done anything considered naughty.

She lowered her eyes and answered, “They get a spanking.”  Her voice was so soft it was barely audible.

Gabe was very pleased. She hadn’t attempted to pretend ignorance. She knew he lived a lifestyle of domestic discipline. They had shared that lifestyle years ago. As he said, she’d gotten both of her spankings for the same inability to talk without cursing. She squirmed on his lap and he grinned. He had watched his sisters squirm over the years and knew she had accepted the fact she would soon be receiving a spanking.

He bent to kiss her cheek softly before saying, “That’s correct. Naughty little girls get their bottoms spanked each and every single time they are naughty. You have already built up quite the count, Joanna.”  He lifted his hand from her waist only to take one of hers. He spread out her fingers and then began to point to one, running his fingertip over the skin of her finger.

“You cursed,” he said before moving to stroke the next finger. “You cursed again.”  He felt her shudder as he touched her third finger and the memory of this private ritual flooded through her. The physical touch of his finger to hers as he accounted for each of her transgressions immediately put her in her submissive, repentant mind–set. “You lied about trusting me.”  When she opened her mouth to protest, the look in his eyes as well as his raised eyebrow silenced her. She lowered her eyes back to their hands as he touched the fourth finger. “You ran without allowing me to talk to you.”  He ran his finger over her thumb. “You drove recklessly.” 

Joanna swallowed hard realizing that he had stroked each of her fingers on one hand and was not yet done listing her transgressions. She met his eyes and silently offered her other hand. Gabe smiled and nodded before spreading the fingers of that hand as well. He again stroked a finger. “You forgot to lock your door which means you put yourself into danger twice.” 

She nodded as he continued to speak, accepting his words as truth.

“You failed to answer me verbally twice and you cursed yet again.” 

By the time his finger stopped touching her individual ones, she had only one finger and one thumb left. Joanna realized how effective the visual demonstration was. She saw her fingers spread apart and counted eight infractions. She shuddered thinking that if the spanking she’d gotten this morning was for forgetting one rule, what did he have in mind to cover all of this?   She forced her eyes to his. Though she knew from the past that Gabriel Jamison was a man of his word, especially when it came to disciplining her, she managed a small smile.

“Yes, Sir.” With the smallest amount of hope, she asked, “Does it help if I say I’m sorry?” 

He chuckled and she found herself smiling back. He lifted her hands to his lips and gave them a soft kiss. “It doesn’t help avoid a spanking, honey, but it will always be appreciated,” he said and she nodded, accepting her fate. When he guided her up and off his lap, she stood meekly before him. She felt she should be embarrassed but found she wasn’t. What she felt was guilt and the need to be rid of it. When he took her hand in his, she clasped it tightly. He led her back into the cabin. She expected to be led back into her bedroom but he surprised her by moving to her sofa. He sat down on the middle cushion and pulled her to stand between his spread knees. She felt small and anxious, her body quivering as memories of previous punishments were recalled.

“Do you understand why you are going to get a spanking, Joanna?”  His question caused shivers to run up and down her spine though she had known this moment was coming.

“Yes, Sir. I cursed. Again. And was disrespectful. I drove recklessly and didn’t lock my door. But what I need to be punished for the most is that I - I ran from you and didn’t trust you. I’m really, really sorry, Gabriel,” Joanna said. Her answer was clear and concise and Gabe was extremely pleased. She wasn’t whining or attempting to get out of her spanking. She knew what she had done wrong and knew there would always be a price to pay.

“That’s right. You’ve been spanked before for swearing, Joanna, twice in two days in fact.”  He paused and she gave him a small nod, her teeth capturing her lower lip. “Whenever you repeat an offense, especially so quickly after receiving chastisement for that same offense, it tells me that you haven’t learned a proper lesson. This morning was a repeat of last night’s punishment for swearing. This is your third offense.” 

She listened to every word and the tone in which it was delivered. She realized she felt incredibly guilty as she remembered the horrible things she had said.

He watched her face and continued. “For every repeated offense, a harder lesson is given. Do you understand why I believe that is necessary?” 

She flushed but again gave a small nod.

“I need to hear you answer, sweetheart,” Gabe reminded her.

She hesitated and realized how difficult it was to participate. He always talked to her before any discipline and always made her actively participate in the discussion. She’d much rather he just got on with it. She’d rather be spanked now instead of having to stand before him feeling guilty while they discussed her crimes.

“Be - because I didn’t learn the last time?” she offered.

“That’s right,” he said with a small nod. “Spankings are meant to teach you not to repeat an offense. If it takes more than one, then the next is both longer and harder.” 

He watched her swallow hard and saw the first sheen of tears begin to fill her eyes. She remained still, accepting his dominance as well as his authority. He was very proud of her. “I haven’t had a chance to get implements for you, Jo. We know your hairbrush won’t work. Do you have a paddle or a wooden kitchen spoon?”