Surrender (5 page)

“I will see you tonight…Keegan.”

He smiled and I left him, closing the door behind me and touching my lip as my heartbeat did a flutter thing in my chest. I could not possibly be flirting with the idea of this, could I? Shit. 

Chapter Five

Buying Heaven

I showed up much earlier than needed, and I actually put on some mineral make-up, did my hair in long curls and wore clothes that I normally saved for a night out. I also put some heels on, well, more like wedges, gray suede with a black stripe up the back. They were closed toed, with three Velcro straps across the front of them. I loved to wear them with my shorts so I had not held back when I got dressed for this. I knew, as I should, that anything with Keegan would be dangerous, but damn. As I had gotten ready, and even before that, in my shower, I had flashes of his lips in my mind. I honestly think that this book I am writing is making me insane. I would have never even considered meeting a man out this year, let alone a teacher. I must be on the verge of a mental breakdown. But he said, and I quote, “
Not a date
.” So it’s not.

I opened my laptop up and stared at the time. It was 5:00 pm and I had three hours before Keegan would be here. I tapped my black nails on the table as my coffee showed up.

I looked up at the girl. “Thank you.” I said as she grinned at me.

“He was cute,” I sighed and looked at my screen.

“Oh the man earlier today?” I said and she nodded.

I stared at the words on my screen. “I know, dangerous.”

She laughed, “I love dangerous, it is my favorite type.” Her voice was soft as she leaned forward.

I looked up at her and loved hearing that. Maybe I was not the only woman in the world with an insane need to ruin herself.

She smiled and walked back towards the bar as I sat there and bit my bottom lip. I wanted to write, but I knew that as soon as I dove back into it I would see Keegan in this book. It was now inevitable. He had my attention now. I looked at the flashing line on the screen and took the plunge. It was time to write some more in my fantasy world. More about vampires and anonymous sexual encounters. Anything to get my mind away from Keegan.

***

The water ran down my back as I placed the black sponge to it. It was a bit abrasive, which I enjoyed. I pressed it against my shoulder blade and it left a light red mark behind as the water continued to soothe me. I ached, but it was not from being harmed. I ached for
him
. I looked over at my brushed silver tray where the card lay and picked it up. I looked at the number seven on it and grinned. I flipped it over and saw a website address on it in small black lettering, it was different than the last one. Smart of them to do that. I laid it down and leaned back, my hands slid under the water and found their way to my stomach. I closed my eyes as I saw him in the train car. His jawline firm, lips parted and his mask hiding just enough of him as I touched his hair. I leaned up and kissed him in my mind as my chest rose and my nipples hardened in the large porcelain tub. I let my hand lower and my fingertips brushed against my clit. I sucked in my breath and turned my head sideways. I kissed him harder in my fantasy as I started to stimulate myself, with each small flick of my finger I arched my back, getting into a slow rhythm as lips parted behind my eyes and my tongue searched his. I slid two fingers inside of myself as I continued to make small circles on my clit, each rotation bringing me closer and closer to a climax, but it was not my skill to please myself that was causing it, it was him…always him now. The stranger who had fucked me as I had needed to be fucked. Hard and without mercy, it was a true surrender and, to me, nothing would be able to get me off as hard again.

I moaned as my fingers continued to move. I reached up with one hand and grabbed at my breast, I squeezed it as the water moved from the turbulence below, sloshing over the sides and spilling to the floor. Behind my eyes I saw him clearly, standing before me. His abs tight and rippling down to a place I longed to be. His skin shimmering from sweat and his mask, coming off. He lowered his head and slipped it from his eyes and as he rose up I saw him for the first time. His eyes a bright blue, his hair black. Lips full and firm, jawline chiseled. He was a thing of beauty and mine, something I needed and had acquired. I bit into my lip and tasted blood as I cried out. It ran down my chin and dripped into the water as the orgasm tore through me. It was torturous and yet so needed. I came so hard it almost hurt as my stomach tightened and my back arched beyond its limits. Then I jumped in my tub as I heard a voice, almost as if it were whisper on the wind…calling out to me. I looked around and heard it again then I stood up as the voice sounded off to the right of me and I saw him…the man standing there before me, forcing my orgasm to double me over….

***

I jumped in the booth as I looked up and saw Keegan, he called out to me and I slammed my laptop shut as he came into view just as the other him
, the mystery man,
faded in my mind. I was definitely blurring the lines and it had me so fucked up as I lowered my hands and felt the clamminess in my palms. I slowed my breathing as Keegan smiled and slid in across from me, he looked nice. He had his hair pushed back, a nice black button down on with faded jeans. So fucking cute, it was ridiculous. My cheeks reddened as he stared at me and grinned.

“Good scene?” he asked me as he glanced down at my laptop.

“A paper, I have a paper due.”

“Mmm,” he said, my lie was not convincing him of anything. I rubbed my neck and then picked up my coffee, I caught a glimpse of my watch and saw that it was only 6:30, so he was early too.

“You are early,” I said to him and he leaned back.

“So are you.”

“I figured I would try to get some work done before you showed up.”

“You look nice, Fay,” he said to me and it interrupted my thoughts, an odd thing for someone to be able to do.

“Thank you, so do you.” I said, just returning the compliment to be civil.
I mean, in my book I had just been…never mind. This is so ridiculous.

He grinned as he glanced at my laptop. “So I showed up early with an agenda.”

“Oh?” I said to him.

“Yeah, I was going to see how many girls I could seduce before you got here and then tell you about it.”

I tilted my head. “What?”

He laughed as he mocked me. I raised an eyebrow and then stood up.

“What do you want?” I asked him as I looked down at him in the booth.

“Just to talk.”

“No…to drink,” I said and he grinned at me.

“Water.”

I shook my head, “The bet was for a coffee.”

“I don’t drink it.”

“Then why bet for it?” I asked him.

“Because you do.”

I grinned and walked to the counter as his eyes followed me. My long legs must have been appealing to him because when I glanced back he was staring at them.  He turned back, as if I had caught him doing something he should not have. I bit my lip again as the girl stepped up and glanced over to the booth.

“I wish I had liquor for you.”

I laughed quietly, “I need a water.”

“Water?”

“Yeah, it was a bet that I lost, but he was supposed to get coffee.”

“Why not coffee?” she asked me as she handed me a chilled glass with a lemon in it.

“He doesn’t like it.”

“Oh…he likes you,” she said quietly and I took the water and shook my head at her.

“Oh yeah, anyone who bets for something they don’t even care to win is out for something else,” she added.

I walked back, knowing she was right. I mean he didn’t even win, so to speak, but in his mind the winning was not the drink itself, it was to be sitting here with me. I sat down and slid the water to him as he caught it with one hand and looked into my eyes.

He touched his glass and his eyes locked onto mine. “So, tell me more about this book.”

I cleared my throat and leaned back, unable to really tell him anything about what I had just written. A part that had finally placed a face to the anonymous sex partner in my book, that of his own.

“The bet was unfair,” I said to him as he took a drink of his water. He set it down and then played with the sides of it. I watched as some of the condensation rolled down the side of the glass and onto his finger tip. It reminded me of sweat and I adjusted in the booth. His eyes lifted to mine, the color of them mesmerizing me, not unlike they had when I first saw him sit up right where he was when I met him.

“Okay, it was rigged, but don’t hate me.”

I leaned forward and so did he, like we were telling secrets. “I mean, why not just tell me who you are?”

“You didn’t ask me,” he whispered. I sat back and looked him over.

“That is not something you hide from anyone.”

He leaned back and tapped the table with his fingers, not unlike I do when I am thinking. I could not help but notice the similarities in our personalities.

“I was not hiding it, I promise that I wasn’t. I just got here two days ago. I came here the first night and fell asleep in this booth. No one woke me until you showed up the next morning and you are just the first person I really met here…I mean, you and Gemma. You seemed flustered when I sat up so I thought ‘Hi” was the appropriate introduction, and then Gemma showed up and it went on from there. I was tired and then you intrigued me with your book about…well, you know, and the rest is history.”

“You said you were going to class.”

“I was, an introductory one, with the dean, I guess I should have said
meeting
, but old habits die hard. Listen. I have spent all of my life in school, saying “class” is not a lie, it is just what I am used too.”

I sat there and listened to him and I had to believe him, but the whole car ride still had me agitated.

“You should have told me in the car.”

“I probably should have, but I was in a hurry, just like you, and honestly you should be happy that I am not a dick and did not toss you out of class.”

“Really?” I said as I crossed my arms on my chest and he smiled, his teeth white and straight…pretty, just like the rest of him was.

“I am joking, Fay,” he said as he leaned up and reached out. His fingertips touched my arm and I sighed. I uncrossed my arms and looked around the café. He did too.

“Listen, if you feel weird just tell me. I will leave. I really just wanted a chance to say that I am sorry, I did not mean for it to be like this and for you to feel as if I was tricking you.”

He started to stand up and I looked up at him.

“Okay,” I said to him as he stopped and sat back down. He grinned as I stared into his eyes.

“My book is dirty.”

He leaned up and smiled. “So you were saying.”

“Do you, ummm, want to read a little bit of it?”

He hesitated and glanced down at the laptop and then back up at me. “Am I old enough to be reading this type of stuff?”

I laughed and then he did too. “I would say yes.”

I slid the laptop to him and he turned it while I sat there. I suddenly got a rush of adrenaline as I thought about what he was about to do. I placed my hand on the top of it as he started to open it up.

“Just…it is totally fictional.”

He nodded to me. “I know, and thank you for allowing me to see something so private.”

I took my hand from the top of it and tried to relax. He opened it up and started at the beginning as I sat there and sipped my drink. I watched as he read it, a couple of times he rubbed his neck and then when got through to the end of the train car scene he sat back and stared at me. His expression blank.

“Okay, so…do you want to take a walk or something?” I asked him and he nodded to me. I laughed. “You okay?” He nodded to me without saying a word.

I stood up and so did he, his reaction was delayed so I could go first, which was nice to see. Most of the time, I deal with men who have one thing on their minds, sex. Well, sex and drinking. I am sure there are some who don’t here, but I had not met them yet. I looked up as Keegan walked to the door and held it open for me. I smiled at him and then glanced back at the girl behind the counter. She winked at me and I accepted it, I could not pretend that I was not happy to be going someplace with him, even if it was just a walk. Sometimes it is not the place, but the person that is really the destination.

We walked along the edge of the campus park as the moon hung large in the sky and the stars flanked it. I looked up and it reminded me of what Lia saw on the roof of the building the night she…well, when her adventure began. I looked over and saw Keegan staring at me and I grinned.

“So, a professor at twenty-nine, I have to say I am impressed.”

“Do you want to even discuss that train car Fay?”

I glanced at him. “Not really.” He shook his head as he placed his hands into his pockets. We walked along and he looked up at the sky too. “Okay, ummm, yes, Assistant Professor and, well, if it was up to my parents I would have been doing this three years ago, but I needed time off, so I took a year to travel and shoot as much as I could.”

“Is that where the pictures came from in your office?”

He nodded and continued to walk next to me.

“Yeah, all of them…well all but one. The one of the ocean was by a friend.”

“A good friend?” I asked him and he glanced over at me as the moonlight played off of my hair and made it look as if it had some highlights in the black. He stopped and turned to me.