Surrender to Me (13 page)

Rebecca

When we walk into the store, I can honestly say I have never dreaded shopping more.  I know he was right when he said I would need new clothes for his functions, but I hate that he’s buying them for me.  In all honesty, I can’t get them myself, but I’ve been independent for so long that it feels like a foreign concept to actually have someone wanting to take care of me.

Once we arrive at the women’s section, I head straight for the clearance rack like I always do.  Luke comes up behind me and spins me around to look at him.  “What are you doing?”

I look at him with confusion.  “Looking for clothes to wear when I’m out with you.  Isn’t that what this whole shopping thing is all about?”

“Why in the clearance section, Becca?  I’m not sure if you heard me the first time; I don’t care how much it is, you don’t need search through the leftovers.”

“And
I
told
you
that this all makes me really uncomfortable.  I’m letting you buy me the clothes but I would rather they not cost a fortune. I don’t want you spending tons of money on me, Luke; that’s not why I’m with you.”

He
groans in frustration and then narrows his eyes at me. “This is not ‘Pretty Woman’ and you are not a prostitute, but you
will
let me buy you some damn clothes. Now get away from the fucking clearance rack before I buy the entire store.”

I walk away from it and head toward the rest of the racks with my tail between my legs.  Over the next half hour I gather a mixture of dresses, skirts, and shirts and then make my way to the dressing room.  Luke hasn’t said a word to me since the argument and I have no idea how to break the silence.

I’m slipping out of the third dress I’d brought in with me when the curtain to the dressing room is pulled open.  I yelp in surprise and turn around to see Luke standing in the doorway.  “What are you doing in here?” I whisper.

He moves toward me without saying a word, closing the curtain as he makes his way into the tiny room.  He backs me against the wall and we’re so close that his breath on my neck is causing me to break out in goose bumps.

“I know you aren’t used to people taking care of you, but you’d better get used to it with me.  I take care of what’s mine, and you, Rebecca Chase, are mine.”

His mouth crushes against mine with such force, causing me to gasp, giving him the opening that he needs.  He dips his tongue into my mouth and his hand travels up my body to my breasts.  His other hand slowly makes its way down to my sex, which right now is only covered by a very thin, fragile piece of lace.  He slips his fingers under the lace and starts to massage my clit.  Before I can object, he thrusts two of his fingers inside me, making my knees buckle.

I bury my face in his shoulder to mask the moans that I can’t stop from spilling out.  I’m so close to release that the second his hand rolls my nipple between his fingers, I’m crying out.  When the wave has finished working its way through me, I gaze up at Luke.  I can’t believe he just did that to me in here, especially because he’s been ignoring me for the past hour.

He withdraws his fingers and slowly inserts each one into his mouth, sucking off all my juices.  “I love you, Becca, and I love to make
you
feel good.  Bringing you here and getting these clothes for you is something that makes
me
feel good.  Now, let’s have a good rest of the day and just know that you’re not a burden and I’m not doing any of this out of obligation.  I need to get out of here, though, before I take you right here, because there will be no way to mask how loud I want to make you scream right now.” 
Oh.  Wow.

He exits the room and I struggle to regain my composure.  I finish trying on the rest of the items I had brought in with me, fighting a war with myself not to look at the prices.  This is something that’s not going to be easy to get used to.  I’m used to being the girl who can’t afford the regular prices at Wal-Mart.  I buy things if they’re on sale or clearance or I don’t get them at all.  When I walk out of the dressing room with the clothes in a heap in my arms, Luke comes over to me.

“Do they fit?”

“Yeah, now I just need you to help me pick out which ones I should get.”

He takes the pile from me and stalks over to the closest register, letting the sales woman know to ring everything up.  When he looks back at me he has the most satisfied smile on his face, and I finally get it through my head that he really
does
want to do this.  I’m not some charity case that he thinks he needs to take care of; I’m
someone
he
wants
to take care of. 

After shopping, we head straight for the airport, only to find more paparazzi.  Luke calls ahead and has security meet us at the entrance so they can escort us through the terminal.  Their first show on the tour is tonight and we basically head straight to the venue as soon as we land.  Everyone else had taken an earlier flight, so Luke and I are the only ones on the plane.  The tour is set up so that Jackson goes on first, followed by Samantha and then Luke closes the show.  We arrive at the venue halfway through Samantha’s set.

Luke makes sure that there is a safe, closed off area for me to stand and then heads backstage to get ready to make his appearance.  His performance is incredible, as usual.  Watching him perform turns me on so much; his lyrics and the passion behind them are like magic.  I’ve never seen him look more alive than when he’s on stage.  His set is about halfway over when I feel someone come up behind me.  I turn around to see Jackson standing there with a smirk on his face.

“Hey, I didn’t think he would ever let you watch a show again.”

I let out a laugh because we had actually had that conversation, and I told him that there was no way I was waiting in his dressing room during every show.  “It’s not that big of a deal; I’m fine.  Besides, at least there’s a gated off area this time.  Are you excited now that the tour has finally started?”

“Yeah, I guess.  It just sucks to be the first one up.  Half the people aren’t even in their seats yet when I go on.  I can’t wait until I can headline a tour.”

“I’m sure that you’ll get your chance; you’ve got to work your way up, right?”

He smiles at me.  “Yeah, I guess so.”  He looks up at Luke on stage, and I can see a trace of envy in his eye.  “You don’t mind me watching the show with you, do you?”

I shake my head no.  I really don’t see any harm in letting him stand with me. I know that he and Luke don’t get along, but I’ve always felt like you should never judge a person based on someone else’s opinion of them.  After the show is over I say goodbye to Jackson and make my way back to the dressing room.  When I walk in I hear the shower running, so I take a seat on the leather couch to wait for him.  I’m so exhausted from the whirlwind of events today, and before I know it, sleep overcomes me.

I feel myself being picked up off the couch and open my eyes.  Luke is carrying me out to the truck, and as much as I want to stay awake, I lose the battle and my eyes slowly close again.  When I open them again, I’m laying in a bed with Luke next to me.  He’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.  I reach over and run my hand over his bare chest as he looks over at me.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, I thought you were out for the night.”

I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his chest.  “I’m sorry I fell asleep; I don’t even remember closing my eyes.”  I can tell something’s wrong; he’s not touching me and he seems so stiff.  “Is everything okay?”  He doesn’t answer me so I lift my body up and lean on my elbow to look at him.  It takes him a minute to even look me in the eye, and when he does I don’t feel any better.  “What is it, Luke?”

He closes his eyes as if he doesn’t want to know the answer to what he’s about to ask me.  “Is there something going on between you and Jackson?”

What?
  I laugh, but immediately stop when he shoots me a dirty look that lets me know he isn’t kidding.  “Are you serious?”

“I don’t know, Becca, every time I turn around you guys are hanging out or talking.  I don’t want to look like a fool.  If he’s who you want, then you need to tell me now, because I’ve had plenty of people use me in the past, but I don’t know if I can take it if you’re the one to do it this time.”  Studying the look on his face, I can see how serious he is.  I can’t believe that he actually thinks that I’m using him.  I guess no matter who you are, everyone has insecurities that they have to deal with and work through.

I sit up and climb on top of him, putting my hands on either side of his face so that he has to look at me.  “I have absolutely no interest in Jackson, Luke.  You’re the one I want, not him.  He asked me today if he could watch the shows with me, and the only reason I said yes was because it didn’t matter to me if he was there or not.  I’m there for
you
.  I love
you
.”  I can see that what I’m saying to him is starting to sink in.  His eyes soften and I know that I’m breaking through his walls.

I bend down to kiss him once on the lips before slowly moving down to his neck.  I continue my trail down his chest then scoot myself down a little bit more.  I already
told
him, but now I wanted to
show
him how much I want him.  I run the tips of my fingernails along the edge of his boxers before slowly slipping them under the waistband and pulling them down.  He springs free and when I wrap both of my hands around his shaft I hear him release a groan.  I work my hands up and down as I continue kissing his stomach, his thighs, and anywhere else but where I know he really wants me.

His legs are so tense and strained and I know the torture is killing him.  When I finally take him in my mouth, his hands reach down and grip my hair.  “Shit, Becca!”  I smile as I continue to work him with my mouth—enjoying that I can do this for him—that I can make him feel like this.  I slide my hands up his chest and when I pull them back down I scrape him with my nails again.  He arches his back, forcing himself deeper into my mouth.

After another minute he grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me up to him, flipping us over so he’s now on top of me, pressing me into the mattress.  I bear witness to the fire in his eyes and it melts me from the inside out.  He has both of my hands pinned above my head with one of his, and his gaze is so intense and passionate that I can’t break free of it.  His free hand slides down my body until he cups me and presses his thumb against my clit.  I arch involuntarily from the sensation.  He doesn’t move his hand, and when I glance up at him he lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me roughly.

“This is mine, Becca.  I can’t stand knowing that he wants you and he thinks that he can take you from me.”  His thumb circles and massages me, and then he stops again.  I moan, begging him to give me what I need.  “I want to hear you say it.  Tell me that it’s mine and that he can’t have it.”

Before I can even form a response, he’s moved down my body and is running his tongue between my lips, while his thumb resumes its torture on my clit.  He peers back up at me through hooded eyes, and I realize he’s waiting for me to tell him what he wants to hear.  “It’s yours, Luke.  It’s never belonged to anyone else.  I don’t want him, I only want you.”

With one quick motion he sits up and sinks himself deep inside me.  I cry out at the surprise and the pleasure of being filled by him.  He’s back to holding my hands, and it’s killing me, because I’m dying to touch him.  He begins moving in and out of me at such a hurried pace, and leans his head down to capture my breasts as they bounce from his force.  I can tell Luke needs this reassurance, which surprises me considering who he is.  I assumed that he had all the confidence in the world, but I guess that’s why you can never judge a book by its cover.

I can feel my release building and I know that it’ll only be a matter of seconds before I explode.  Luke raises himself up onto his knees and lifts me with him.  With this angle, he is deeper than he’s ever been and the feeling is so intense that I’m crying out his name within seconds; my release leaving me shattered.   A minute later, his hands grip my ass with so much force I’m convinced it will leave marks, and he empties himself into me.

Luke collapses on the bed next to me and I scoot close to him, draping one of my legs over him.  We lay like this for a few minutes before he finally breaks the silence.  “Listen, I’m sorry if I sounded like a jealous asshole, but he’s one person I just can’t stand, Becca.  I see it in his eyes every time he looks at you that he’s just waiting for an opportunity to take you away from me.  It’s the way he is; he can’t stand anyone having anything good but him.”

I sit up halfway, leaning on my elbow.  “Jackson can think whatever he wants, but I have absolutely no interest in him.”  I bow down to kiss him and relax back into my position against his side.  I get why Luke is insecure but there is nothing for him to worry about.  If Jackson does tries anything I will put him in his place, and then cut ties with him.

Lucas

This first week on tour has been really hectic.  The crew is working out the kinks and trying to make sure everything runs smoothly.  Jackson is still sniffing around Becca every single chance he gets, but I’m trying to deal with it.  I know she doesn’t want him, but that doesn’t mean it’s not driving me insane.  As long as he keeps his hands to himself, I won’t have to kill him.

Today we’re meeting Alexa for lunch and I can tell Becca is really nervous.  I’m kind of nervous, too, because I’ve never cared enough about any relationship to let anyone meet my family.  I’ve never agreed with people who’ll take just anyone home. My family is everything to me, so I won’t just bring any girl around to meet them. 

On the drive to the restaurant, Becca is wringing her hands and fidgeting so much that it makes me smile.  The simple fact that she’s this nervous to meet my sister proves that I’m making the right decision in letting her meet my family.  I would be worried if she wasn’t nervous, because then it would seem as if she didn’t care.

I grab her hand and she looks over at me and smiles.  “Don’t be nervous, babe.”

“I just want her to like me, Luke.  I don’t always make the best first impressions with people and I really want to this time.”

We pull into the parking lot and I walk around to open her door for her.  I help her out of the car and pull her close to me, capturing her mouth at the same time.

“Please tell me that you’re not going to be doing that the whole time and I’ll actually get to talk to her!”  I pull away from Becca to see Alexa standing about fifteen feet away from us.  Becca’s cheeks immediately turn red.  “Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to come say hi to me?”

I walk over to Alexa still holding Becca’s hand.  When we reach her I pull her into a hug.  As soon as I let her go she throws her arms around Becca.

“It is so nice to meet the girl that was able to turn my brother into an honest man!” She loops her arm around Becca’s and starts walking toward the restaurant.   “Now, let’s go eat and you can tell me how you did it!”  Becca looks back at me and I smile, shake my head, and follow them.

Once we sit down and order our food my sister turns to Becca.  “So, tell me about yourself.  Mom and I have been trying to pull information out of Luke but he’s been so vague.”

“I’m from Philadelphia and I met Luke in the parking lot of a liquor store.  He asked me if I could help him jump his car, and before I left, convinced me to go to dinner with him.  I had no idea who he was at the time and I didn’t realize it until my friend won tickets to his concert and he came out on stage.”

“Wow, brother,
that
must have been a blow to your ego.  I can’t imagine your face when you realized she had no idea who you were.  So back to you, Becca, what do you want to do with your life?”

“I just got my Associates in Education and I want to finish my degree.  I’ve always loved being around kids and I would love to work with them one day.”

The biggest smile breaks out across Alexa’s face.  “I’m an education major, too!”

“Since when, Lex?  Last time I checked you were an accounting major.”  Alexa was still trying to “find herself” and she’s already been through two different majors, now this one makes three.

“Since last month, rock star.  Now, be quiet so Becca and I can get to know each other.”

Throughout the rest of lunch Alexa and Becca talk nonstop about school, clothes, and anything else they can come up with.  I start to tune them out because it’s all giving me a headache.  I feel someone hit my arm and I turn to see Becca looking less than happy.

“Why didn’t you tell me that your birthday is in a week?!”

“Shit, I don’t know, I didn’t even think about it.  It’s not a big deal, babe, we have a show that night anyway, and then the label is doing a party afterward.”

Alexa kicks me under the table.  “It
is
a big deal, Luke!  Ugh, men!”

They go back to their conversation and I try to make sure I’m at least half listening so I can be more prepared for the next ambush.  The waitress walks over to drop off the check and I silently thank God that this lunch is over.  Becca and my sister trade phone numbers and goodbyes and Becca and I walk out to the car.

“I have to be at the venue a couple hours early tonight because the performers all have a meeting.  You okay with getting there that early or would you rather meet me there later?”

“I think I would rather just go with you now because I don’t want to deal with the crowd of photographers alone.  They always get so close and they make it hard to walk; it gives me anxiety even when I’m with you.”

I hate that this is something that I don’t have control over.  I grab her hand and give it a squeeze, trying to offer her the little bit of reassurance I can.  When we arrive at the venue, it’s swarming with paparazzi as usual.  Some of them really take it too far and try to provoke you just so they can get a shot of you acting “crazy”.  One guy actually yells out to me that Becca must be really good in bed for me to keep her around so long.  I almost chase after him but Becca’s grip on my arm tightens when she hears it and I just want to get her inside and away from all of this.

Becca heads to my dressing room and I make my way down to the room they said they meeting would be in.  When I get to the room the only person in it is Samantha.  When she sees me walk in, her eyes light up like a lion’s does when it sees a poor defenseless deer by itself.  I move in and sit down on the couch across from her, trying to keep my distance.  It doesn’t make a difference, though, because she immediately plants herself right next to me.

“You’re looking so good lately, Lucas.”  She runs her fingernail up and down my bicep.  I jerk my arm away from her; her touch makes my skin crawl.  “Aw, don’t be like that.  She isn’t here and no one has to know.”  Before I can react, she’s straddling my lap and lowering her mouth to mine.  I turn my head just in time so she misses me and throw her off of me onto the couch.

“I’ve told you plenty of times that I’m
not
interested, Samantha, now back the fuck off.”

I turn to leave and see Jackson standing in the doorway with a smile plastered on his face.  “Getting bored already, Luke?  Let me know, because I can’t wait to pick up the pieces when you fuck things up.”

I lunge after him, landing a solid hit to his gut before the other guys show up and pull me away from him.  “You need to back the fuck off, Jackson, or you
will
regret it.”

This is going to be the longest damn meeting of my life.

Chapter Nine

Rebecca

“Jen, what am I supposed to get him for his birthday?  I mean, he can buy himself anything he wants and my bank account is really starting to look pathetic at this point!”  I’m sitting in Luke’s dressing room while he’s in the meeting and trying to get Jen’s help for his birthday.  I want to get him something great, but what do you get the person who already has everything he needs?

“Calm down, Becca.  If you want my opinion, there is nothing that boy wants more than you, so give it to him.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

She starts laughing and I’m ready to jump through the phone and kill her.  “I don’t know, think of something creative.  Dress up for him, pop out of a huge ass birthday cake, do something new in the bed—“

“Wait, what did you say about a cake?”

“What?  Jump out of a big ass birthday cake?  I was kidding.”

“Oh, I don’t know, it sounds like it might be fun.”

Jen giggles again, and before I know it, she takes off with that idea and is laying out a plan for me to drive Luke crazy.  She’s trying to convince me to go to one of the choreographers that’s on tour with us and set up a burlesque dance to do after I step out of a hollowed out cake.  The more I think about it, though, the more I think that there is no way I can go through with it.  The door opens and I look up to see one of Luke’s band members, Casey.  I tell Jen I’ll have to call her back because he seems like he wants to talk to me.

“Hey, I was looking for Luke, but I guess he’s still in the meeting?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t come back yet, but you can wait for him here if you want.”

He nods his head, walks over to the couch, and sits down.  “So, how is everything going?”

“It’s
been okay, just a lot to get used to.”  A couple of minutes pass by and I decide that maybe Casey might be a good person to talk to about my plan.  I lay it all out for him and try to gauge his reaction, which is anything but easy.

He laughs and then looks up at me.  “You know, he may just have a heart attack when you do this, right?  Not only that, but he’ll probably try to murder every guy staring at you while it’s going on.”

“So you don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea; I just have a couple of suggestions.”  Casey and I talk for about fifteen more minutes and he agrees to help me surprise Luke.

The door to the dressing room opens and Luke stalks in, looking like he’s ready to kill someone.  When he sees Casey sitting with me I can tell he’s confused.  I smiled at him, stand up, and give him a hug.  “Hey, you okay?”

He looks down at me, still looking like he’s trying to figure out what’s going on.  He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in tight against him.  “Yeah, just a pain in the ass meeting.”  He bends down and places a kiss on my lips before looking back over to Casey.  “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I was just coming to see how it went, but judging by your face I can tell you don’t want to talk about it right now.”  Casey gets up and heads for the door.  “I’ll see you out there, Luke.  It was nice talking to you, Becca.”

As soon as the door closes, Luke picks me up and carries me over to the couch.  He sits down and places me on his lap.  I peer up at him and can see that something is really bothering him.  “What’s wrong?”

When he looks at me I can see he’s debating on whether or not he really wants to tell me what’s going on.  “I’ve been trying to get the rights to this song and I thought it was a done deal, but during the meeting I found out that asshole Jackson stole it right out from under me.  I can’t tell you how much I want to kill him.”

I rest my head on his chest, trying to provide whatever comfort for him I can.  “I’m sorry, babe, what’s the song about?”

“It’s this really great duet from one of the new up and coming song writers.  It’s called ‘Just Another Heartbreak’.  I even talked to the writer about being able to spin it a little so it fits more with my style of music and she seemed really excited.  I honestly have no idea how he got it.”

My head snaps up as soon as he says the name of the song.  That was the song Jackson was recording at the studio.  Did I ever end up talking to Luke about what happened that day?  I don’t think I did; everything has been so hectic.  “Luke I…”  Just then the door opens and one of the assistants tells him it’s time to go on.

Luke nods at him then stands up and takes my hand as we walk to the stage.  We come to the point where we have to separate so I can go watch him from the secured area.  He cups my face with his hands.  “I don’t know how you do it, Becca, but you just seem to make everything right for me.  You have this ability to calm me down when I feel like I’m spinning out of control.”  He kisses me and I can feel him releasing all of the tension and the frustration he’s been holding in.  I love that I’m able to help him, even if it’s just by being here for him.

“I love you, have a good show.”

“Love you too, babe, and remember—“

“I know, I know, don’t leave the secured area and go straight to your room after.”

He smiles at me as I walk toward the front of the stage.  I say hello to the security guards; we’ve gotten to know each other over the past week because of how protective Luke is.

When I hear the first note of the guitar my heart starts to speed up; every time I watch him perform it’s like the first time all over again.  I get a rush watching him up there and seeing how much it all means to him.

“You seem like you’re in your own little world.”  I jump when I hear the voice, not expecting someone to be so close.  When I turn around I see Jackson standing behind me.  I just shake my head at him and turn back to watch Luke; I still can’t believe he stole that song from him.  I can feel him standing behind me and watching me.  He walks up so he’s standing next to me and drops his head to whisper in my ear, “I’m guessing you’re mad at me or something?”

I turn toward him.  “Of course I am!  Stealing that song from Luke was a pretty shitty thing to do, Jackson.”

“These things happen in this business, Becca.  The writer just felt like it was better suited for me, and if I do say so myself, you sounded fantastic singing it.”

“Well, like I told you then, I’m not a singer and I don’t want to be.  I am also
not
okay with what you did, and honestly, I really don’t think we should hang out anymore.”

“If that’s the way you want it to be, Becca then I guess I can’t do anything about it.  Just know that I’m here if you ever need someone; life on the road can be pretty lonely.”

He walks away and I immediately relax.  I have a feeling, though, that cutting Jackson out of my life is not going to be as easy as I was hoping it would be.