Surrender to Me (11 page)

Sally arches an inquisitive brow, and I fill her in on all the
details.

“Of course Ava. It would be a pleasure. I will always make time for
a friend of yours. Let me go out back and get the wedding menus.”

Giving her a big smile, I tease, “Thanks. You don't know what a huge
favor you’re doing me. My friend would kill me if I couldn't pull this off.”

Sally chuckles, but I look at her genuinely. “No, I'm serious.”

She wipes her hands on her apron, not quite understanding my dry
humor. “Oh, well in that case, I better get right to it.” And she heads out
back, leaving me alone with Jasper who understands my humor perfectly as I can
hear his deep, throaty chuckle.

Great.

I can feel his eyes following me as I lean down while looking into
the cake display window, because I need to do something, anything, to distract
myself from being alone with him. Brushing my long hair to one side, and
holding onto it to stop it from falling into my face, I am studying the
intricate designs on the three tier wedding cakes, when I feel a warm puff of
air slide along the length of my exposed neck.

Instantly goose bumps spread over my arms and chest, and my heart
begins beating uncontrollably. Closing my eyes and focusing on his deep woody
scent and harsh breathing, it takes every ounce of willpower not to throw
myself at him. Bracing one hand against the glass, my nose is inches away from
the window, still continuing my charade of inspecting the cakes.

But my eyes snap open and I gasp, totally stunned, when I feel him
flush against my back. As he places his hand alongside mine on the glass
window, I am totally embarrassing myself with my heavy breathing, but I can't
help it.

“Like what you see?” he huskily murmurs into my ear, my hair swaying
with his breath.

I gulp noisily, and attempt to find my voice. “Yes.”

“Yeah, so do I,” he quickly replies.

His chest pressed up to my body is setting me alight, and as he
moves slightly, removing his hand from near mine, his sharp curves and contours
slide up against my back.

Subtly biting the back of my hand to stifle my moan, Jasper asks,
“Everything okay Ava? Cat got your tongue?”

Releasing my hand from being imprisoned between my teeth, I nod
quickly, as I am afraid what my voice will sound like if I speak.

Is he flirting with me? The sexual spark that was ever present when
we first met is most definitely currently charging the air. His actions are not
those of someone who was looking at me with serious stink eye, ten minutes
prior. I am so confused! What the hell is going on? And where the hell is Sally
to save me from defiling her shopfloor?

I should feel claustrophobic, being entrapped in this compromising
position, but it’s quite the opposite. I feel empowered that Jasper is clearly
flirting with me.  I am internally combusting with his positive display of
affection, but then his parting words replay in my head, and I stiffen up. He
is certainly not behaving like someone who has forgotten me. 

Before I can analyze this train wreck further, Sally saves the day,
hands filled with endless wedding objects.

“Okay, sorry for the delay. My macaroons were not looking so
macaroon like.”

Both Jasper and I shift away from one another uncomfortably, afraid
of being caught out by Sally. We're both facing her, looking incredibly guilty
when she walks back into the foyer.

Sally looks between the both of us with a puzzled look, and I break the
silence a little too loudly by clapping my hands together.

“So, let’s get this show on the road.”

Sally nods, giving me a strange look, while I witness Jasper bite
his lip, attempting to squash his obnoxious smile because he knows what he does
to me.

He knows that every fiber of my being still wants him.

*****

“You've done a perfect job Sally, thank you so much. I will call if
bridezilla objects to our menu selection.”

Sally lets out a chuckle. “Gee, I can't wait to meet the blushing
bride.”

I smile, but feel I need to defend V’s honor, as I am not painting a
very nice picture of her.

“She's great. Most of the time.”

Jasper quietly laughs and I beam, thrilled to hear him chuckle
because of me. 

“I’m just messing with you Sally. You'll love her.”

After collecting all the samples I need to pass onto V, I bid Sally
farewell and she promises to be in touch throughout the week.

As I step outside, the cool breeze hits me in the face and I embrace
it, well metaphorically as my hands are filled with wedding bits and pieces.

Welcoming the gentle wind, as it’s exactly what I need to cleanse my
nostrils of Jasper’s delectable scent. He was surprisingly a great help, and
brought up some valid points when deciding on the overall menu selection.
Jasper sitting so close to me while working with Sally, was not the best idea,
as his scent alone was enough to have my insides rising in mutiny, demanding I
get closer to the source of that mouth-watering fragrance.

Walking over to my car, I am struggling to carry the million and one
items while attempting to find my keys in my bag.

Jasper
chuckles while placing a box on the trunk of my car.

“Let
me help you,” he says, attempting to unload me of my loot.

“No, I'm okay,” I mumble, as I can't deal with flirty and chivalrous
Jasper all in one day.

“Ava, don't be silly. Where are your keys?”

Attempting to juggle the catering paraphernalia in my hands to prove
a point, the Gods of course are laughing down at me as I drop everything onto
the asphalt.

My eyes widen in terror as I look at my handiwork strewn all over
the ground.

“Oh crap!” I curse, dropping to my knees to recover the items, and
to also hide my bright red blushing cheeks.

Jasper is also on his knees helping me recover my goods. “I hate to
say it, but I told you so,” he huskily jokes while holding up a decapitated
bride and groom cake topper.

Snatching it out if his hands, I examine the sad sight. “It’s fine,
nothing a little super glue won't fix.”

I am so dead when V gets her hands on me.

“Yeah, that’s only an option, if you can find the head,” he says,
holding his sides in fits of laughter.

Peering around to see if I can retrieve the discarded limb, his deep
throaty chuckle distracts me, and I playfully push him in the chest, but he's
too quick as he catches my hand, holding it prisoner against his heart.

Our laughter suddenly ceases, and we both peer down at our
interlocked fingers, resting on Jasper’s chest.

I slowly raise my eyes to his, and I see it.

He is still affected by me, and in a circumstance where I should be
swiftly removing my hand from my ex-boyfriend, I do the opposite. I lightly
squeeze his fingers and give him a warm smile. I am expecting Jasper to
retreat, but he surprises me by squeezing my hand in return.

To passerbys we must look a sight, but the outside world doesn't
exist in this moment. The only thing I can feel, smell and see is Jasper.
Feeling the steady beating of his heart, I reminisce on a time when that sound
lulled me to sleep.

I miss him.

I miss him so much that trivial moments like this will be a memory I
revisit often.

Jasper lets go of my hand and slowly stands while I am still on my
knees, peering up at him. The irony of me on my knees before him doesn't go
unnoticed by either of us. He offers me his hand which I nervously accept, and
I stand mere inches away from him.

“You're different,” Jasper says, his head tipped to the side,
examining me closely.

I suddenly feel very self-conscious. “Oh? Well, these are new
clothes,” I mumble nervously, tugging at my top.

“No, I don't mean your appearance. I mean in here.” He places his
fingertips to my temple. “And in here,” he adds, as he places his warm palm on
my heart.

He drops his hand from my temple, but leaves his hand on my chest,
and I lower my eyes, fixated on the way his hands look on me. I know he told me
to forget him, but I can’t, and no matter how hard I try, I will never forget
the way my body responds to him.

I know he can feel the frantic rhythm of my heart, but funnily
enough, I don't care.  

“Look
at me,” he whispers.

Slowly peering up at him from under my lashes, I nervously toy with
my bottom lip.

“Even under all this expensive perfume, you still smell like lilacs.
You still smell like you.”

His comment stuns me, and I quickly reply, “That's because I am
still me.”

He pulls his hand back like he's been burnt. “I can't believe that.”

I look at him puzzled, and feel cold without his touch.

“I can't believe you're the same person, because that person lied to
me and broke my heart.”

His expression breaks my heart as his luscious lips droop into a
small frown.

“Jasper,” I stutter, trying to reach for him.

“No Ava, don't.” He shakes his head, dodging my attempts to touch
him.

Dropping my hands to the sides, I whisper deflated, “I'm sorry
Jasper.”

His jaw is clenched and I force myself not to reach out again as he
replies, “I know you are Ava, but it still hurts, and I’ll never forget the
feeling of you ripping out my heart.”

And he storms off, leaving me to my tears.

*****

“Is something wrong with your salmon?” Harper asks, pointing his
knife to my untouched dinner.

Looking down at my plate, I shake my head unconvincingly. “No, it's
lovely.”

Harper places his cutlery against the gold rim of his dinner plate,
steepling his fingers.

“What's the matter?”

“Nothing,” I reply, absentmindedly drumming my fingers on the
tabletop.

I feel on edge, and should have never agreed to come to this fancy
restaurant after my encounter with Jasper.  Eating is the furthest thing from
my mind, and I am doing an extremely poor job of hiding my uneasiness.

As Harper gives my tapping fingers a pointed look, I quickly stop
and gently place them onto my lap.

“Sorry Harper, I'm just preoccupied.”

“I can see that sweetheart. Are you thinking about the wedding?”

“Yeah I am. I have to organize the catering for V as the company she
was using pulled out. Can you believe that?”

Harper shakes his head, a small smirk on his face. “No, I meant our
wedding.”

“Oh,” I reply, picking up my water glass and taking a sip.

“You've been awfully quiet about the wedding since we told our
parents about it.”

“Have I?” I reply while poking my dinner with my fork.

“I know mother can be a little overbearing, but she's just so
excited about me getting married.”

“No it's fine Harper,” I smile waving off his comment, and take a
small bite of my salmon.

I surprise myself when I don’t gag on it.

“Are you sure?” Harper is so not buying my ‘everything is fine’
routine.

“Yes, everything is happening so fast, I guess I'm just nervous.
When I agreed to marry you, I thought you would give me a promise ring or
something, and we would discuss actual marriage way down the track, like way,
way down the track,” I confess.

Harper smiles and I don’t fail to notice his smug look as he adjusts
his silk tie. “Darling, a promise ring? Seriously we're not in the third grade.
I've known you for five years; of course I want to get married straight away. I
love you and want you to be my wife as soon as possible. I won't rush you, but
you know mother, once the seed is planted. So, have you thought about having
our wedding at my parents?”

Honestly my wedding has been the furthest thought from my mind, but
of course I can’t share that with Harper.

“Your mom was thrilled about the idea, so yeah sure.” Giving my
fiancée a half smile, I try my best to appear happy.

Harper beams at me and surprises me by grasping my hand, placing a
chaste kiss on my knuckles.

“Thank you. This means the world to her.”

This is a rare side to Harper, as he can be kind when he wants to
be. Nowadays that kindness is infrequent, but all relationships lose that after
being together for a while-right? 

“Have you shared the news with V?”

Lowering my eyes, I begin to fiddle with my napkin, really wishing
we weren’t having this conversation now. After the day I have just had, all I
want to do is soak in a hot bath and switch off.