Surviving Passion (17 page)

            “Tell me you belong to me,” he commanded hoarsely.

            “No,” she grunted as he relentlessly slid himself back and forth inside her.

            “Tell me that you’re mine,” he insisted, “tell me.” Again, he covered her lips with his own.

            “Never,” she breathed stubbornly before another spontaneous moan escaped her lips. She felt more fiercely defiant than ever.

            But he kept pushing, over and over and he wouldn’t stop. The growing need for more had begun to make her feel wild again. It welled inside her like a rising flood, like a tidal wave that swelled and grew until she was overcome by it, drowning at last, but in a sea of rapture. The only thing that mattered was his next thrust. Why couldn’t they come faster? Finally, she could bear it no longer and he made her lose control. The whole camp would have heard her, even from their distance, but he clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the agony of her ecstasy. She moved frantically against him as the explosion rocked her to her core, blocking every thought, sight, and sound. In that moment, Selena wanted to throw him off her for having the power to rouse in her such uncontrollable pleasure, but at the same time she wanted to hold him there forever, because it felt better than anything in the world. Neither decision was hers to make, she realized again when he didn’t stop. She imagined Dan doing this to her forever, and the sensations came back like rolling thunder, buffeting her again and again.

            Finally he strained violently against her, changing his hold over and over, touching her everywhere he could. Then, finally, he collapsed atop her.

Eleven

            Selena didn’t remember the ride back, or how she had returned to her cabin. She was hazily aware of Dan’s presence, but that was all. At some point they had parted ways. When she had locked her door and dropped her belongings on the floor, she felt like she was in some sort of trance. Now she was lying down on her bed, staring up at the rafters, trying to reconcile what had happened.

            So much seemed out of her hands, and truthfully, she didn’t know how she felt. The day had started out so peacefully with her serene hike through the valley, and now she was no longer a virgin. It was the last thing she would have expected to happen that day, and the reality did not sink in easily.

            Selena covered her face with her hands as the memory spilled over her. The intensity of their encounter had left her numb.
What does it mean?
she wondered.
What does it mean to him?
She felt sudden pangs of anxiety. He had asked her to say that she was his. She had denied him. What was he going to do? Had she made a mistake? Should she have submitted to him completely? It had happened too fast. He hadn’t given her time to think. There was no courtship. He had simply taken her, like she was fruit hanging from a tree, just waiting to be devoured.

            Despite the incomprehensible pleasure his passion had brought her, she was angry and wanted to punish him. She also wanted to be in his arms. Turning onto her stomach with a groan, Selena didn’t know whether she was better or worse off than before her last attempt to flee. No matter what happened, he would always have the satisfaction of knowing he had her, and she wondered if she had anything left to offer that he hadn’t already taken. Feeling vulnerable, a little empty, and crippled with uncertainty, she finally drifted off in a troubled sleep.

Selena woke early the next morning, just before the sun peeked over the ridge. For a few moments she forgot why she felt different, until the memories of yesterday came crashing down. Her stomach did flips. She remained lying in bed and tried to envision the coming day. She would see Dan at breakfast, and what were they going to do? Act casual over eggs? How could she face him?

Selena firmly decided that she couldn’t eat with them this morning. While she might be able to pretend that nothing happened when the others were around, she knew she couldn’t when he was there. Tossing the covers aside, she got right up and walked out her front door.

Setting off to the kitchen briskly, Selena found Blaire up working, early as usual. She greeted the woman with as much normalcy as possible.

“I’m gonna grab a bite now and get a head start on a dress for Becky like you suggested. If anyone asks, just tell them I’m working.”

“Sure thing, honey,” Blaire responded cheerfully, looking pleased that Selena had taken up the project. The pair of them rustled up some food that she could take with her.

As she headed back to her cabin, there were ominous-looking clouds visible to the north. The wind blew strongly from the same direction, and it was cold. Selena was glad for the excuse to take her mind off what had happened, even if the distraction was as worrisome as this one. She paused on her way up the steps to watch the sky. Another kind of storm was coming, and it looked almost as powerful as the one she had endured the day before.

            Selena changed her mind about going back to her cabin, for now. She wouldn’t go until after warning Blaire.
No rest
, she thought frowning up at the strange morning sky. When she got back to the kitchen, Blaire was still busy about her work.

            “Hey, Blaire?”

            “Yes ma’am.”

            “There’s a storm on the way, I don’t know if you noticed. It’s going to be a bad one.”

            “Really?” she replied, walking past Selena to poke her head out the door. “Oh, they always look nasty over those mountains, but they fizzle out before they reach us. I wouldn’t worry. Then again,” she paused, “you don’t usually see that in the morning.”

            Selena passed Blaire to stand outside.

            “It’s coming,” she insisted. “Just to be safe, is there anything special you guys do when a storm hits?”

            “Well, that depends on the storm,” Blaire answered, joining Selena outside. “Are you sure? I s’pose I was never the best at predicting weather. Living out there you probably had to watch a lot more carefully. Well, when things get real bad, we use the hall. Not a lot of windows there.”

            Selena gave her a blank look. “What hall? You never showed me, did you?”

            “No, that’s right. It’s one of the older buildings, we don’t use it much. It’s set off a ways from everything else. Not too convenient but it is on higher ground than the rest of these buildings. Well, we’ll keep an eye on it. If it gets real bad, we’ll rally everyone up and wait it out in there. I’ll send someone to come and get you.”

            When Selena finally did return to her quarters, she set about planning Becky’s dress. She would decide size by eye, and make it a little on the bigger side so there was room for growth. She chose a medium tan color. The palest cream leather would be pretty, but it would also be harder to keep clean. Based on what she had seen so far, Becky would probably be rolling in the dirt with it before her birthday was out.

            Selena worked as quickly as she could without sacrificing quality. It was easy. Her hands did their job deftly, even though her mind was everywhere else.

            Working through the morning meal, Selena watched the sky slowly darken. Whenever she got into the rhythm of her sewing, her thoughts would flash back to the day before, distracting her from her progress. Trying futilely to shake the memory off, she plowed on with her work. It was coming along beautifully when the clouds obscured the sun and the wind beat on the trees.

            She nibbled on some of her breakfast, but her appetite was missing. Her fingers were tired from the work, but it was her only excuse to hide out instead of helping to prepare for the storm. By mid-morning, the rain had reached them. The drops came small at first, but in a matter of minutes, it was falling in sheets. Selena worked on in the dimness right into the evening. By then she was nearly finished, and very grateful that the dress was child-sized. She resolved to embellish the garment until she was summoned. It wouldn’t be long.

            When there came the knock on her door, Becky’s present was ready and full of beautiful details.

            “Come in,” she called, wrapping the dress carefully. It was Ben who walked through her door. She felt at once disappointed and relieved.

            “Hey, Selena,” he greeted, shaking the water off. He was soaking wet from head to toe. “Blaire said to come and get you. This storm is getting crazy and we’re pretty sure it’ll be a long one.”

            Just then, the first grumble of thunder sounded faintly. They listened carefully, coming to the same conclusion and looking at each other worriedly. It was going to get a lot worse before it got any better, but the real danger was how long it would last. Flooding was a serious threat in their closed little crater. It seemed to be the only flaw of having a small swath of land surrounded by hilly ridges. No one needed to tell Selena about these obvious risks.

            She quickly got her things together, carefully nestling the dress into the bottom of her pack. She hugged it to her as they hurried out the door. They jogged through the pouring rain and Ben led her into the trees, which were already completely saturated and offered no protection. Selena knew the sun was still out behind those clouds, but it was almost as dark as night around them. After minutes that seemed like hours, they came to a long, dark brown building nestled against a slope and surrounded by oaks. It looked like the sturdiest building yet. She wondered how she had missed it when she had gone on her little hike.

            The two of them clamored through the door to escape the torrential downpour, shaking off the water in the entryway. Selena wrung out her hair and peered into the building. There was plenty of room for everyone and most were already there, talking quietly inside. They sat on the floor or on the few scattered old chairs that dotted the great room. There was a long table running along one wall, stacked with supplies. Dan, Blaire and Cal were absent.

            Those that weren’t too distracted to notice Selena’s entrance greeted her. Her eyes fell on Clint, who was sitting on the floor, leaning languidly against a wall. He gave her a subtle wink. Her stomach turned. She realized that she had almost forgotten about him. How was that even possible? Ignoring Clint entirely, she followed Ben. When he sat, she settled nearby. The conversations were low as everyone listened to the storm. Even the children were quiet as they peered out one of the only two windows to watch the occasional flashes of lightning that brightened the sky. Their emphatic whispers proved that they found it all very exciting.

            Selena’s gaze fell on Shane and Gina talking in a corner and, with a pang, she realized she hadn’t checked his wound since the morning before. Hopping to her feet promptly, she strode over and knelt down next to them.

            “How are you holding up?” She addressed the both of them, trying not to obsess about Dan’s inevitable entrance.

            “Fine,” they said casually at the same time.

            “Mind if I take a look? I should have probably checked this morning. Do you feel any pressure?”

            “Nope,” he shook his head as she unwrapped the shoulder, “I think I got lucky this time. Still hurts pretty bad but it seems like it’s healing just how it should. What was that stuff you put on it?”

            “Comfrey,” she answered as the wound was revealed. It had scabbed over nicely, with no serious puckering or worrisome coloration around the stitches. Gently laying her hand against the skin to either side of the wound, she gauged that the heat was normal. The lack of infection was the luckiest thing she had seen since she had come to live here.

            “What does comfrey do?” Gina inquired, watching with morbid curiosity over Selena’s shoulder.

            “Just helps the skin heal faster, I’ll show it to you if you like,” Selena told her. “It’ll probably be safe to take this off in three days or so. Good for it to breathe. It’ll be a while yet before the stitches can come out. I still wouldn’t use that arm much for the next month. The deeper tissue could take longer to heal.”

            The door sounded and Selena held her breath. Peering discreetly around her hair, she saw Blaire come through the door, followed by Cal and finally Dan. They were soaked through, and each carried a bulging sack full of supplies. Selena held her breath as his eyes searched the room. When he found her, his gaze locked on while she took in his tall visage in the dim light. His short black hair dripped rainwater and his shirt clung to his skin, outlining the ample muscle beneath. She looked away. Her face burned as she wrapped Shane’s shoulder, but she could feel that his eyes hadn’t left her yet. It was as though they were the only two people in the room and she was naked again.

            “Thanks,” Shane told her cheerfully when she had finished.

            Selena had to clear her throat to say, “You’re welcome,” but even then, it came out little more than a whisper.

            Unsure of what to do next, she watched as the three arrivals hoisted their burdens onto the table. Selena took the opportunity to scoot behind them back to where Ben was sitting, knowing that Dan was acutely aware of every move she made.

            “That should do it,” Blaire announced, brushing her hands off.

            “How long do you think it’s going to last?” Selena asked Ben quietly, just to make conversation.

            “Ach, it’s a weird one, so no idea,” he told her honestly.

            “What about the animals?” she wondered aloud suddenly.

            “Let ‘em out,” Bear answered from where he sat against the wall opposite her. Susan was leaning against his shoulder, and their hands were entwined.

            “Will they be okay?”

            “We’ll see. Some of the chickens may not do too well if the water level gets too high, unless they’re smart enough to get up into the trees. Horses, cows, pigs’ll be fine. They’re smarter ‘n we are.” His eyes twinkled.

            She couldn’t suppress a smile. Blaire was right. He was a very huggable man.
A huggable man bent on revenge
, she remembered, appreciating the polarities of his character.