Sweet: A Dark Love Story (13 page)

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Now that you’re back in the real world, maybe you’ll never have to deal with that again. Maybe I’m the only one who brings all that out in you.”

His words sounded too much like a goodbye, and she gasped softly when a pain shot through her chest.

His brow furrowed with concern as he leaned toward her. “Are you all right? Are you in pain? Do you need a doctor?”

“No, yes, no.”

Declan frowned. “So you aren’t okay, and you are in pain, but you don’t need a doctor?”

She nodded again. “I don’t need a doctor. I just need you, Declan.”

His frown deepened, looking confused. “But you said—”

She brought the hand that had covered his on her face to his lips to touch them gently in a sign that she wished him to be quiet for a moment. “I said I was freaked out, and my own…proclivities frightened me into doing something rash.

“As I was on the verge of death, I realized it didn’t really matter how fucked up I am. Together, we’re pretty screwed up, but apart is far worse. And dead is even worse than that, obviously. It took almost dying to realize that being with you makes me feel alive in a way I never have before. I’ve always been drawn to you, including a highly inappropriate infatuation with you from the time I was sixteen until eighteen.”

She lowered her head slightly, peeking up at him through the veil of her lashes. “Honestly, I don’t think I ever got over that infatuation. I just ran out of time and privacy to indulge, thanks to sharing a dorm with the mole working for you as a superspy.” She glared at him. “That was pretty low of you.”

His expression was starting to take on a hint of hopefulness, but he still had a stern set to his mouth. “It killed me to hear about you dating other people, but I knew you had to. You had a chance and a right to have a normal life, and I wanted to give you that while I still could. I knew as soon as I had you, as soon as you were in my grasp, your normal life would be over.

“I went a little crazy on the island in my solitude, and it was my fixation on you that saved me, but I knew that once I had you, it could ruin you. I didn’t care.” He spoke the words sharply, and with clear self-loathing. “I still don’t care. I wanted to do the right thing here and let you walk away, but I can’t. I won’t.”

“I don’t want you to,” she said softly.

He pressed on as though she hadn’t spoken. “Right now, all I can think about is taking you home, locking you up, and beating your ass black and blue for what you put me through.”

“Okay,” she said agreeably.

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t be a smartass. You will pay for it.”

“I’m not, and I know. Whatever you want to do with me or to me is fine. I don’t want you to be a noble fucker and let me walk away. Be the selfish asshole I know you are and take me with you. Keep me, control me, and own me.”

His eyebrows formed a V when his frown deepened. “You’re being awfully accommodating all of a sudden. What’s gotten into you?”

“I guess I just had a personal awakening.” She pulled his hand from her cheek and folded her fingers through his. “I don’t want to live without you, Declan. The circumstances under which we met and came together are awful, and I wish I could undo what my father did, but I don’t want to undo a single thing that’s happened between you and me since I stepped foot on your island a week ago. I want you to take me home and make me miserable while making me whole. You can whip me, fuck me, and call me your little slut all you want as long as we’re together.”

His expression softened, and his hand gripped hers tighter. “I’d like to promise that I won’t do any of those things, but you know that would be a lie.”

She nodded. “Yes, I know. And that’s okay. I love that side of you as much as I love the tender side I see afterward, along with the glimpses I get in between. I love it when you’re sweet to me, but I love it just as much when you’re choking me, biting me, and pounding me in the ass.”

She blushed as she made the bold admission, but didn’t let her gaze waver from his. He had to see the truth in her eyes and accept she was being sincere so he would let go of any noble impulses and embrace his inner beast, the beast that she wanted to tame hers.

After a moment, he let out a small laugh, and it sounded startled, but also full of joy. Declan leaned forward, grasping her chin in a possessive hold, his fingers biting into her skin just enough to hurt, but also in a reassuring way that let her know he was there. “I fucking love you, Kat.”

Since she had already said the words first, she didn’t bother to reciprocate. Instead, she just leaned forward and captured his mouth in a hungry kiss. The bandage on her head and the aches and pains in her body prevented her from doing what she really wanted to do, which was pull him into the bed with her, but they would get to that. Once they were home, they would indulge in all their kinkiest pleasures together, as it should be.

“Do you like that, you little slut?” Declan asked the question as he pounded into her, jostling her from her perch atop him. One hand steadied her hips, since hers were bound to the bed with a pair of handcuffs, and the other held a riding crop that he used on her ass in a rhythmic fashion.

“I love it,” she said with a groan as her pussy contracted around her husband’s cock, coaxing him to come inside her. The orgasm took the edge off, but it never completely satisfied her. He was the same way, and they’d be reaching for each other again as soon as they had the opportunity.

As her orgasm triggered milk letdown, beads dribbling from her nipples, she knew it would be a while before they had a chance again. Danny would be waking up from his nap soon, and he would need to eat. He was still on a fairly predictable schedule, but he was starting to alter that.

Kat would miss their afternoon fuck sessions while the baby slept, but knew Danny would be older before she knew it. The time would be gone in the blink of an eye, and she would miss the days when she had to fit in lovemaking with her husband around naptimes.

With any luck, she would conceive again soon and they could add to their family, which would prolong the time they had babies. Breast-feeding could stave off ovulation, so it might be a while, but they were certainly enthusiastic about trying.

Despite having been married for almost two years, his passion for her had never waned, and her need for his control and care was as strong as ever. She couldn’t explain to anyone why she felt safe and loved when he was wailing on her with his flogger or choking her to the edge of unconsciousness as she came, but it worked for her.

It worked for him too, and there was a new easiness about him, and he had lost some of his darkness and sharper edges with Danny’s birth. Of course Danny couldn’t replace Cordelia, and Kat was no substitute for Hilary, but he didn’t want them to be. Cordelia and Hilary belonged to a life that he said now seemed alien to him, and to her as well. Her world revolved around Declan and their son, and she was happy to have it be that way.

Declan startled her by flicking out his tongue to catch a dribble of milk, and she giggled as she slapped him in a playful fashion. “Quit. That’s for Danny.”

“Danny can share,” he said grumpily. “I have to share you with him.”

Carefully, she disengaged her body from his, rattling the handcuffs lightly. “Speaking of sharing me, do you think you can unlock me now? He’ll be waking soon.” As she said the words, Danny’s cheerful babble came over the baby monitor, and she sighed with a small smile. “There he is.”

“He’s always so cheerful.” Declan’s lips twitched, though he still sounded grumpy. “He’s completely unlike me.”

She laughed as he unlocked her, and she climbed from the bed. Kat slid on a robe, but didn’t bother to tie it. There was no one on the island besides her and Danny and Declan, and she’d be opening the garment soon enough to feed him anyway. “He’s a lot like you in many ways, honey. He has your smile and your eyes and your sheer stubborness.”

“And we both like boobs,” he said with a deadpan expression.

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help giggling. Even now, it was a rare occasion when Declan was lighthearted, but she always appreciated it and his lame attempts at jokes. “I’m going to feed our son.”

He nodded, putting his arms behind his head as he watched her go. “I’m going to stay here and miss you shamelessly.”

“I’ll be back,” she promised with a wink.

“I’ll be waiting.”

She waited until she was at the doorway before turning to smirkk at him. “Yeah, you’ll be waiting until tonight, because naptime is over. I’m hungry, so would you mind fixing something while I’m feeding him?”

He jumped from the bed, clearly intending to fill her every need immediately. “Of course. I’ll always take care of you.”

As he slipped by her, she put a hand on his chest to stop him, looking up at him with all trace of teasing gone. “I know you’ll always take care of me, Declan.” After they shared a meaningful look, she lifted her hand and allowed him to walk on past her before leaving the bedroom and heading toward the nursery, which was across from her art studio.

Life was sweet.

R.E. Saxton is the pen name Kit Tunstall uses when writing dark romance. It’s simply a way to separate the myriad types of stories she writes so readers know what to expect with each “author.”

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