Sweet Agony (Sweet Series Book 1) (6 page)

Sort of like now.

I didn’t know how he did it, but the guy had a knack for sneaking up on me like a ninja. There were days I thought about tying a bell around his neck so he couldn’t scare the crap out of me like this anymore.

“Sh … Gin, it’s just me,” he said soothingly with that familiar, sad look in his eye.

I inwardly cringed at that expression. It was like he knew I was damaged goods somehow, even though he still didn’t know about my past. I sometimes wondered if that was why I was infatuated with him. He had this way of looking inside of me, as if he could see all my nightmares and scare them away. If he only knew in my dreams he did …

He was my knight in shining armor. Only, I wasn’t a princess, not anymore. No, I was a raggedy peasant girl with two left feet who couldn’t look him in the eye without blushing beat red.

Seriously embarrassing.

“W-what are you d-doing here, L-Lucas?” God, I was such a dork. I had this annoying tendency to stutter whenever someone startled me like this.

One side of his mouth hitched up in a crooked grin like he found me amusing. “I was headed toward the theater with Johnny and some of the other guys when I saw you sitting over here. I figured you hadn’t noticed how late it was getting, so I thought I’d come sit with you until you were ready to go home. You shouldn’t walk home in the dark, Gin.”

Could my mortification get any worse? Would there ever be a day when he wouldn’t see me as his little sister’s best friend? Someone he had to take care of?

After leaning forward so I could look behind him to see his friends disappearing off in the distance, I looked back at him and mumbled, “You d-don’t have to stay here with m-me, Lucas. I’ll be okay.”

He laughed and bumped his shoulder into mine. “It’s all good, Gin. I like watching you draw, anyway.” Holding the rose red marker back up to me, he continued, “I think this color would go well with the purple.”

I was too surprised to say anything. He actually wanted to spend time with me? Not with his friends? My stomach started doing somersaults again, and I looked down at my mermaid to hide my face. My eyes caught on her hair, and it suddenly clicked that Lucas was right. The rose red would look awesome with the purple, blue, green, and teal in her hair. Without looking back at him, I grabbed the marker from his hand and muttered a thanks.

I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on the fact that the boy I was in love with was sitting next to me so close his arm was brushing my own. Or the fact that he had ditched his friends to stay with me. After all, if I let myself think about it too much, I might get my hopes up, which was something I totally should not do.

If only my speeding heartbeat would figure that out …

Chapter

6

Lucas

Seventeen Years Old

She was driving me nuts.

It was bad enough I had to sit through that bullshit English class I would never use after high school, but it was even worse when I had to do it after seeing Ginny walk down the hall in a damn mini skirt. Did the girl have any idea what a skirt like that did to me and every other guy in this school? How many of these pissants would see her dressed like that and imagine getting their hands up her too short skirt?

There had been no time to corner her and let her know she needed to change. If I hadn’t gotten to class on time, Ms. Edwards would have nagged me to death about being late. Therefore, there I sat, pissed as hell, wondering what Ginny had been thinking and unable to do anything about it.

There were days I knew she did shit like that to try to get my attention, but the girl had no clue she had
all
of my attention, and I couldn’t let her know it, either.

I had my reasons for keeping her away from me. At first, it was because we had grown up together, and it was just too weird. The older I got, the more I saw the hopeful stars in my mother’s eyes anytime she saw Ginny blushing in my direction. Teenage boys had an internal alarm that warned them away from anything remotely permanent in the pussy department, and those stars in my mother’s eyes had warned me that she was picturing future wedding vows and grandbabies.

The thought damn near gave me hives.

My younger self had known Ginny was special, but even then, I didn’t want to be tied down in any capacity. My whole life, I had wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps and go in the Army. I couldn’t let any girl, let alone my little sister’s best friend, side track me from that goal. I was going to make a career out of the military. Join the Green Berets and go on top secret missions around the world. To obtain all that, I had to stay focused, which meant not worrying about leaving a girlfriend back at home while I was training.

Because of that, I treated her like I would my sister and started tapping whoever looked good and would let me into her panties, even if a part of me knew down to the bottom of my soul that Ginny was meant to be mine.

Would I admit it to her? Hell no. Were my feelings toward her way deeper than any seventeen-year-old should have? Hell yes.

The Army wasn’t my only plan, though. No.

As I sat, stewing in English class, barely paying attention to whatever the hell my teacher was talking about, I was planning for the future, for when I was ready to settle down.

As soon as my first six-year enlistment ended, and I signed on for my next one, I would take some time off and come home to see if there was still that something different between Ginny and me. It might seem selfish of me to wait so long before coming back for her, but there was more than one reason to do so.

We were way too young for one thing, and she was three years younger than me. So, even if I waited until I was twenty-one and she was eighteen, I feared, down the road, she would resent me for tying her down so young.

When I dreamed about Ginny, it was hot enough to wake me up with the hardest morning wood I had ever experienced. There was just something about her that made me want to do crazy things, like fantasize about tying an older Ginny to the bed and kissing every inch of her body. I knew it sounded nuts, but something about her made me feel things I didn’t understand, which was another damn good reason I should keep my distance from the girl.

It was more than physical. Ginny had this vision. She saw everything in vivid color. Her creativity, her smile, everything about Ginny was bright, including her future. She was smart, quiet, shy, and loyal. Through all the girl drama my sister ever went through, Ginny was by her side. Ginny had depth most girls didn’t. Hell, she was deeper and more intuitive than any teenager should be.

I hated the few times she would seem to get scared of her own shadow. I really hated to see the longing in her eyes around holidays like Father’s Day. She never talked about her dad, and I’d never asked.

The more I watched her, spent time with her, spent time around her when she was with Olivia, the more I wanted her. All of this added up to more reasons I needed to stay away.

Last month, I had woken up to one of those vivid fantasies about her, frustrated, aching, and tired of the insanity. I’d taken myself in hand and was going to take care of the problem, hoping it would help erase the crazy thoughts about her. Too bad I’d gotten a little too enthusiastic and moaned her name while I was on the verge of orgasming.

My door had flown open, and my dad had stormed into my room as if he were storming a castle on a mission. When he had seen I was alone, he’d sputtered, turned ten shades of red, and then given me his back while he had gruffly ordered me to get some clothes on because we needed to talk.

Fucking mortified my dad had walked in on me jacking myself off and more than pissed that he would think I would do something we both knew was wrong, I’d quickly pulled my shorts on and sat back down on my bed, seething.

When my father had finally turned back around, he’d apologized for busting in and accusing me, but he’d had a very good reason to be worried about Ginny and me. He’d been around my age when he had first noticed my mom … who had been much younger, like Ginny. He’d also noticed that my little sister’s best friend had a raging crush on me, which didn’t help the situation. Therefore, he’d worried I might give in to temptation as he had wanted to do so badly when it was him and Mom.

Even though I had been embarrassed as hell, I had sort of felt better knowing I wasn’t a pervert for wanting a younger girl. That shit had been bothering me to no end.

Seeing my chance to finally talk to someone, I’d asked him what I should do. What had he done when it came to Mom?

We had sat there, talking for a little over an hour as he’d told me the story about him meeting Mom in school when he had been a senior and she a freshman. He’d known right away it was more than wanting to just be physical with my mom, but he had also known her parents would never approve of her dating a much older boy. He’d hinted that he’d had a similar experience to an extent, but he did not divulge further, which I was glad for. I might have gotten sick to my stomach if he’d told me anything about him and my mom.

He’d known his only chance to get close to Mom then was to be her friend, so that was what he’d become. That had given him the opportunity to protect her from the other boys who’d tried to take advantage of what he already considered his girl.

They’d hung out together with friends after his football games and met her at the ice cream shop on weekends. Then, when he had shipped out to basic, he’d asked Mom to be pen pals. They had kept in touch through letters until he’d felt she was finally old enough to ask her parents’ permission to date her.

What he’d done made sense. Keeping her close yet not too close was smart. I wasn’t so sure I could be that close to Gin and not give in to my need to touch her, though. There was just something about the girl that made me want to be a possessive asshole. When I’d told my father that, he had given a sad sigh then encouraged me to not act on my urges until I was older.

Before he’d left my room, he had said something I would never forget. He had told me he’d seen the way I had been looking at Ginny lately when I thought no one else was paying attention. He had explained how I was on the verge of becoming a man, and it was time to learn one of the most important lessons a man should ever learn: “A good woman is a priceless treasure.”

She was meant to be protected and loved, never abused, never treated like she was less than she really was. That meant doing the right thing by her, even if it was the hardest thing a man might ever do. That meant keeping my hands off the girl across the street until I was ready to give her my last name.

“Ginny is a pure heart, son, beautiful from the inside out. You don’t want to break a pure hearted girl like that, because it would break her in ways you might never be able to fix. And, if you ever do that, you would only end up blackening your soul. If she’s yours and you’ve broken her, then you’ll be living without the very thing you need the most: your heart.”

My father’s words resonated in my head for days, forcing me to think about something I had once thought I never would—tying myself down to one woman. It had been sort of overwhelming for me. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more the idea of Ginny and me felt right—owning the angel across the street, calling her mine.

One day, when we were ready, I would do just that.

Own her.

Love her.

After all, a part of me was already in love with her.

It was only my inexperience, youth, and dreams of leaving that held me back from falling in love with her completely. It wasn’t easy, but I shut out the emotional shit and refused to let it grow any further.

Now, as I came closer and closer to my eighteenth birthday, my mind was made up. At the end of my first enlistment, I would be twenty-four, and she would be twenty-one. Ginny would have had time to live a little before I came home, and we would both be old enough to know if it had just been hormones or something more.

At seventeen, I knew who I was to an extent. After the talk with my dad, it was not lost on me that I had serious urges that might get worse when it came to the angel who lived across the street. It was going to take everything I had to ignore those urges, and who knew how domineering I might be when I did finally claim her? Deep inside, I knew the controlling, selfish part of me would only grow.

The reason why was simple: part of me wanted to own every part of Ginny. However, in return, Ginny would own every part of me, as well. We were in no way ready for that.

I was only worried Ginny was going to drive me insane between now and when we were ready. Seeing her without actually touching her was becoming torture.

It wasn’t lost on me that Ginny only grew more beautiful every day. Still, she was shy, quiet, and painfully awkward. Thankfully, because of those qualities, the boys in school didn’t pay much attention to her. Even though I was a senior, while she was just a freshman, I kept an eye out for her, making sure no one messed with her. And, by no one, I meant those of the dick carrying variety.

I had convinced myself before that I was doing it because she was my little sister’s best friend and practically part of the family. Now, I wondered if something inside of me had always known Ginny was my girl.

In my attempt to keep my hands off her, I was still fucking my way through my high school and the one in the next county over. Was it wrong? Probably. I did feel guilty every time I touched another girl. However, I did my best to keep everything I did quiet so it wouldn’t get back to Ginny and hurt her. Luckily, she didn’t talk to many people and wasn’t one to gossip. If she had heard a rumor about me and one of my hook-ups, I wasn’t sure she would know whether to believe it or not.

Ginny had all hearts and flowers and forever in her eyes, and I was worried one of us would break before we were ready.

If I broke, it would be my willpower, and I might claim my girl sooner than I knew was good for either of us. If she broke, it would be her heart.

“Mr. Young?” my English teacher drawled. “Would you like to tell the class what you learned from the story of Odysseus?”