SWEET ANTICIPATION (13 page)

Jordan looked questioningly at Lauren who nodded her acceptance. After going inside and surviving another flurry of introductions, they were seated at the huge dining-room table to join everyone else for dessert. It took Lauren the better part of an hour to match names to faces, but Jordan’s aunts, uncles and cousins were all so friendly that she soon relaxed and was able to join into the conversation comfortably. When some of the women rose to clear the table and wash the dishes, Lauren tried to help them, but they shooed her outside, along with Grandma and the children. Most of the men decided to retire to the living room so they could watch an Astros baseball game on television, but Jordan joined Lauren on one of the swings that hung from the beams of the back-porch ceiling.

“Are you ready to leave?” he whispered to her, giving her the opportunity to get away if she was having an awful time.

But she shook her head. “No, we can stay awhile longer if you’d like. Your family is very nice and I’ve just figured out who is married to whom and which children belong to which parents. Besides, I love being out here in the country, away from all that noise and traffic of the city. Why would anyone live in the city when they could live out here?”

“I always ask myself the same question when I’m here, but once I get back to town, I enjoy the convenience of living so close to work and all the stores and restaurants,” he answered, leaning back and gently pushing the swing into motion with his foot.

“Jordan tells me you’re the one who sent me that beautiful flower arrangement for Easter,” his grandmother commented. “It’s nice to see someone your age taking an interest in flowers. None of my daughters seems to have inherited my green thumb. Only my daughter-in-law, Jordan’s mother, Janice, enjoys puttering in her flower garden as I do. I have some very rare African violets in that greenhouse out there and I’ve managed to raise a couple of orchids that I’m very proud of. Let me rest for a minute, then I’ll take you out there and show them to you.”

“I’d like that very much,” Lauren said with unmistakable sincerity. “I have a particular interest in orchids, but I haven’t had a chance to try raising them on my own.”

“I’ve had very good luck with them. Their blooms last so long and some of them have a wonderful fragrance. Did you know that vanilla extract comes from a climbing orchid?”

“I was reading about that in the book Jordan brought me,” Lauren said and they launched into a conversation about the exotic flowers until she had to excuse herself to make a trip to the powder room.

After Lauren had left, Jordan asked, “Well, what do you think of her, Grandma? Isn’t she something special?”

“Yes, she seems very sweet. That’s too bad about her husband, but it’s nice that she has his baby to help her carry on with her life.”

Again Jordan was tempted to tell her the whole truth, but he had promised Lauren he wouldn’t—not yet, anyway. “Next time you’re in Houston, I’ll take you by her shop. You know me, I don’t know a daylily from a night creeper, but I enjoy looking at all the strange flowers she has there. And she’s turned that business from a part-time hobby of her mother’s into a very comfortable income for herself and her friend, Rita.”

“I could see that she has the ability to get along well with people. It didn’t take her long to fit in with our gang, did it?” Jordan’s grandmother rocked thoughtfully for several seconds with only the creaking of her cane-backed rocking chair and the laughter of the children playing nearby to break the silence. She had been watching Jordan’s expressions as he talked about Lauren and it was obvious that this woman was more than just a friend to him. But Alice Daniels had noticed the wedding ring on Lauren’s finger and she couldn’t quite figure out how all the pieces of this puzzle fit together.

“How long have you known Lauren?” she asked with deliberate casualness. “Were you friends with her husband?”

“No, I never met him,” Jordan answered cautiously. He knew the direction this conversation was headed and was determined to cut it off at the pass. “Lauren and I just met a couple of months ago. Her obstetrician is in the same building as my lab and she and I were sort of thrown together accidentally. Her shop is right around the corner from the medical center and I dropped by there to pick up some flowers. We started talking and found out we have a lot in common. Since then we’ve been eating lunch together and have gone out to dinner several times. And she’s a very good cook. I’ve never tasted such delicious egg-salad sandwiches and her chocolate-chip cookies—well, they’re almost as good as yours.” He leaned forward as he talked, a soft smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Even though she’s emotionally strong, she’s been having a rough time dealing with being a widow, but I think she’s finally beginning to come out of her shell,” he continued triumphantly. “At first, she wouldn’t have anything to do with me, but I used the old Daniels’ charm on her and she’s gradually learning to let go of her past and live again.”

His grandmother leveled a perceptive look at him and asked, “Does she know that you’re in love with her?”

Chapter Nine

“In love with Lauren? Me?” Jordan was clearly flabbergasted at the idea. With a frown and a shake of his head, he snorted, “Of course I’m not. She … I…we’re, I mean, I couldn’t possibly be in love with her.”

“Oh, really?” His grandmother continued rocking as she gave him a knowing smile. “If you’re not, you’re certainly giving a good imitation. Doctor, you have all the symptoms of being terminally in love.”

“Grandma, I think that’s just your wishful thinking. You and Mother are so anxious for me to meet Miss Right, settle down and get married that you’re reading too much into this situation. I’m too busy to even consider getting married right now. Besides, Lauren and I hardly know each other.”

“That may all be true, but you, my boy, have fallen in love with that young lady, and if you’re as smart as I’ve always believed you to be, you won’t let her slip away from you.”

But Jordan remained unconvinced. The idea that he might have fallen in love with Lauren had never occurred to him. “I hate to say this about my own grandmother, but I think you’ve been sitting in the sun too much. Lauren’s a very nice woman and I’ll admit that I’m attracted to her, but I don’t believe a person can fall in love this fast.”

“Of course they can. Why, your grandpa and I fell in love as soon as we first met at a dance in the Galvez Hotel. It was 1925 and he was home on leave before shipping out to Germany. I had just graduated from high school and was spending a month with my aunt in Galveston. She had lined up a nice young man to be my date, but I forgot all about that poor boy as soon as I saw your grandpa walk into the room. He was tall and had black hair and gray eyes, and he looked so handsome in his uniform. You look a lot like him, Jordy. Anyway, I knew the minute he took me in his arms that he was the man I would marry someday. Two weeks later, the day before he shipped out, we got our blood tests and slipped down to the justice of the peace. And don’t try to tell me that love at first sight doesn’t last because we were happily married for over fifty years before he passed on.”

“I’m thirty-four and even if I got married tomorrow, I wouldn’t have much of a chance of making it fifty years,” Jordan commented dryly. “I still don’t understand where you got such a crazy idea about Lauren and me. We’re just friends.”

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?” His grandmother chuckled. “Your eyes positively glow whenever you talk about her and your whole attitude has lightened up since you’ve been seeing her. The last time you were here, I sensed a change in you, but I didn’t know what had brought it on. Now that I’ve met Lauren, I understand.”

Jordan raked his fingers through the thick black strands of his hair as he mulled over his grandmother’s accusations. He could tell it was useless to continue denying it because she was obviously convinced that he was in love with Lauren. What a preposterous idea.

But was it really so farfetched? Lauren was certainly everything he could want in a woman, not to mention the bonus that she was carrying his child. And it was true that lately he hadn’t been able to keep her out of his mind. He spent more time thinking about her than he did about his job, which was for him a unique experience. No one had ever been more important to him than his work, but now he found himself counting the hours until lunchtime or the evening, so he could be with her.

However, love was a very strong and frightening word. He liked her, respected her, enjoyed being with her, and wanted to protect her from all the harsh things in life. But was that love or had he begun to take his role as father-to-be a little too seriously? Naturally, he would have some sort of feeling for his child’s mother, even if he hadn’t physically participated in the conception. He had no way of knowing how much of this affection he felt for her was due to her condition or because of her personality. At this point it was difficult to separate the two because they had been woven together since the first moment he had met her.

She had impressed him with her unbreakable spirit, captivated him with her beautiful maternal glow and bewitched him with her egg salad and chocolate-chip cookies. And yet, through it all, she had remained just beyond his reach, staying impassively up on her pedestal. While his blood had raced hotly whenever he held her hand or kissed her good-night, she appeared to remain unaffected, accepting his shows of affection, but not encouraging them.

She seemed to enjoy, even welcome, his friendship, but that was as far as she apparently wanted their relationship to go. Yes, maybe he had begun to fall in love with her, but he didn’t want to admit it, even to himself. He knew she was happy with her memories and as much as he hated to admit it, he was afraid to compete with them. His ego would be irreparably damaged if he were to let her know his feelings and then she spurned him. It was better to let things stay as they were than to push too hard and lose it all. At least if he and Lauren remained friends, he would be able to see her and the baby.

Realistically, though, Jordan knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with standing in the shadows forever. He was not the type of man who would be willing to accept crumbs from someone else’s table. As a physician and scientist, as well as an eligible bachelor, he expected and usually received his deserved recognition and appreciation. If Lauren could never return his love, then he would be foolish to sit around mooning over her. He would be wasting his life wanting someone he couldn’t have, just as she was for her deceased husband.

Maybe he should step back and let the dust settle long enough for him to decide what to do next. Perhaps he had been spending too much time with Lauren to be able to see the situation objectively. She had been right when she had said that until the baby was born, this matter could not be fully resolved.

Jordan breathed a heavy sigh.

“I take that as a no to my question,” his grandmother said.

“Not only does Lauren not know how I feel about her, but until a few minutes ago,
I
didn’t know it myself,” he admitted ruefully.

“Well, I think the two of you should talk about it and settle things.”

“I wish it were that simple. But this whole thing has hit me kind of suddenly and Lauren isn’t ready to let another man into her life just yet. I don’t think either of us is ready to make any sort of commitment right now.”

“I can understand how she feels. I remember how awful it was after your grandpa died. I thought my life was over, too. But I had my children and my grandchildren to help me.” She reached over and patted Jordan’s hand. “Lauren will get through just fine. Be patient with her, Jordy. She needs you more than she realizes.”

“I don’t think she needs anyone.”

“Sure she does, she just doesn’t want to admit it. That’s all part of her defense mechanism. It’s the only way she can cope with all these changes in her life.”

The back door opened and Lauren walked out onto the porch. She noticed right away that the conversation had stopped as soon as she returned, and from the almost guilty look on Jordan’s face, she was positive that the conversation had been about her. Fervently hoping that he hadn’t broken his promise and told his grandmother everything, Lauren nervously looked from one face to the other.

Jordan stood up and motioned for her to join him on the swing. “We were beginning to wonder what happened to you. I’ve been trying for years to get Grandma to let me have another bathroom installed in this house. When the whole family gets together, one bathroom isn’t enough.” He knew he was rattling on, trying too hard to fill the sudden lull.

“I got sidetracked in the living room,” Lauren explained. “You missed a great game. The Astros beat the Dodgers four to two. Jed Lowrie hit a grand-slam home run in the ninth inning.”

“You’re a baseball fan?” Jordan stared at her in surprise.

“Not really. I just like the home teams.” She smiled, knowing that for once she had surprised him. Why was it that men didn’t think a woman was bright enough to understand sports? It didn’t take any sort of advanced intelligence to watch men toss a ball back and forth or run around some bases. “My father used to have season tickets for both the Astros and the Texans and I would go with him whenever Mother or one of his friends couldn’t make it. Johnny didn’t really care for anything athletic, so I haven’t been to a game in years, but I do try to keep up with how the teams are doing.”

“Shut your mouth, Jordy, before a bug flies in,” his grandmother said with a chuckle. “I can see that there’s quite a bit about this young lady that you don’t know. Come, dear, and let me show you my greenhouse.”

It was almost dark by the time Lauren and Jordan got back to Houston and parked in front of her house. As usual, Jordan hopped out and ran around the car to open her door for her. But when Lauren invited him in for a potluck dinner he declined.

“I think I’ll turn in early tonight,” he said as they walked toward her back door.

“Okay,” she said hesitantly. All the way home, she had sensed a change in his attitude. He had been withdrawn, uncharacteristically quiet, and now he was turning down her offer to spend the rest of the evening together. Maybe he was merely tired, and goodness knows, she could use some extra sleep too. “How about chicken-fried steak sandwiches for lunch tomorrow? I’ve got some breaded patties in the freezer and I could—”

“No,” he interrupted quickly. “Don’t fix anything for me. In fact, I’m beginning a new project tomorrow and I won’t be able to make it over for lunch all week—and probably the week after that, too. I’ll call you.”

“Sure. My number’s in the yellow pages,” she responded in a weak attempt at humor. She unlocked the door, switched on the light and turned around to tell him goodbye, expecting him to give her a friendly kiss as he had been doing every evening the past week. But he was already walking away, calling out an impersonal good-night as he went.

Puzzled, she could only guess that she must have said or done something to upset him while they were at his grandmother’s. But Lauren was too exhausted to think about it tonight. When he called, they would have a nice long talk and she would find out what was bothering him.

After taking a long, warm shower, she went to bed and quickly fell asleep and dreamed of a chubby little boy with unruly black hair and sparkling gray eyes running around the shady backyard while Jordan’s grandmother and Lauren watched from the porch swing.

Abruptly she woke up and turned on the lamp beside her bed. Johnny’s young face looked accusingly back at her from its gilt-edged frame. It had been such a wonderful dream, so happy and peaceful. But Johnny’s picture was reminding her that she had no right to such happiness, especially since the child in the dream had not resembled him in the least. There was no doubt that the child had been Jordan’s.

Lauren switched the light off and lay on her back, watching the changing patterns of branches that were silhouetted from the streetlights outside her window. “Oh, Johnny,” she cried. “I’m so sorry. Nothing’s turning out the way we planned, is it? Whatever happened to happily ever after?”

The baby rolled inside her, jamming his elbow into her ribs. Lauren shifted into a more comfortable position and rested her hand on her stomach. It was impossible now to think about this child without also thinking about Jordan. Gradually Johnny was being pushed farther and farther out of her life and it made her feel very guilty. Johnny couldn’t be here to go through this important time with her, but that didn’t mean that she should try to find someone to take his place so soon.

But it wasn’t all that soon. Johnny had been gone for almost twenty months. They had never discussed it, but he probably wouldn’t have expected her to never have another man in her life. If she hadn’t been nearing thirty, she would have felt more comfortable about waiting a few years until she met someone else, married and had a child then. Of course, that would have seemed as if she were cheating Johnny out of
his
child. She had planned on letting their son carry on the Nelson name, but as it turned out, there was someone else who also wanted his name to be immortalized.

She shouldn’t have to make these decisions alone. Why had it fallen on her shoulders to determine whose family name would live and whose name would die out? Her only worries should be whether to use disposable or cloth diapers. At least from now until her due date, things should be pretty quiet at the shop. There were no more big days for purchasing flowers coming up, except for Memorial Day. And she had intentionally kept her schedule light on doing weddings, not knowing exactly when she would be in the hospital. Business from customers celebrating anniversaries, birthdays or just being in love should keep her income steady enough until she could get back into action.

If only she didn’t have to dip too deeply into her savings for attorney fees and court costs. After spending hours with Jordan and getting to know him much better, she still didn’t have a clue whether or not he planned to go through with his original threat. They had become very good friends, but that was one subject that neither had been brave enough to broach.