SWEET ANTICIPATION (14 page)

His coolness this evening had bothered her, though. Lauren yawned and glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight. Maybe tomorrow he would tell her what had caused him to be so preoccupied.

But she didn’t hear from him the next day. In fact, he didn’t call or drop by the shop all week. Lauren had been certain she would hear from him on the weekend, but when that, too, had passed quietly, she began to get worried. Monday was her regular appointment with Dr. Reese and after a few casual questions didn’t get the necessary answers from him, she decided to stop by the lab and say hello to Jordan.

She took the elevator to the third floor and followed the maze of hallways until she found the lab. A nurse directed her through a side door and into the room where Jordan did his work. His back was to her and he didn’t hear her as she walked in. It was the first time she had seen him in his lab coat, its stark whiteness making his hair look even blacker and his skin a golden tan. She watched as he stood motionless in front of a wire cage, seemingly doing nothing more than staring off into space.

Jordan?” she murmured, suddenly feeling strangely out of place. This was his world and everything in it was alien to her. She had barely passed biology in high school and hadn’t even considered taking chemistry, so this jumble of test tubes and scientific equipment looked a little intimidating. This must be how he felt whenever he was in her shop, surrounded by flowers, vases and balloons.

He whirled around as soon as he heard her speak his name and for several seconds, they exchanged questioning looks. “Lauren, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?”

How formal he sounded, she thought. But his eyes were dark with concern as they swept over her.

“Is there something wrong with the baby?” he asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I was just here for my checkup with Dr. Reese. He said everything looks fine and I’m going to have to start coming in every week instead of twice a month.” She glanced down at the fat white rabbit he was cradling in his arms. “Is that one of your smiling bunnies?”

Jordan gazed down at the rabbit as if he had forgotten he was even holding it. “Oh, sure. This is Harry. He’s our main source of little Harrys and Harriets. Actually, we usually assign them numbers instead of names, but Harry’s been with us for about four years and he’s a special member of our research team.”

“He certainly doesn’t look mistreated.”

“I told you that this is the Hilton Hotel for rabbits. We have a long waiting list of Easter bunnies who want to check in for a little R and R.” He opened the door on one of the cages and pushed Harry back inside.

“So how is your experiment coming along?”

“My experiment? Oh, that, yes, it’s coming along fine,” he replied offhandedly. “It’s really been keeping me busy. I’ve hardly left this lab in a week.”

He hadn’t looked all that busy when she had walked in. Standing around holding a rabbit and staring out a window hardly constituted a frenzy of activity. His whole attitude was so reserved and almost guilty that Lauren found it very difficult to believe his explanation.

It suddenly became clear to her that he hadn’t called or stopped by for the simple reason that he hadn’t wanted to. And here she was, practically throwing herself at him, making a complete fool of herself. She had been stupid to waste her time worrying about him. Why should he sit sedately holding Lauren’s hand when he could be playing around with a pretty young thing who probably had a perfect figure?

Lauren felt the color rise in her cheeks. Well, she wouldn’t let him know that she had actually missed him these last few days. She wouldn’t tell him how lonely her lunch hours were and how long the evenings had been without him there to keep her company. All along she had suspected that he was trying to befriend her just so he could talk her into a custody agreement, but apparently he had decided that she wasn’t worth the extra effort.

She took several steps backward until she felt the doorknob press against her side. “I can see how busy you are and I don’t want to keep you from your work any longer. Goodbye, Jordan.”

“Lauren, wait,” he called after her as she opened the door and walked out of the lab. But she didn’t stop; she couldn’t or he would have seen the tears in her eyes, which would be even more humiliating.

The rest of the week Lauren’s moods swung from
who cares
if Jordan never shows his face in this shop again,
to
how dare he play with my emotions like that,
all the way to
I didn’t realize how much I liked the man.
Saturday was a very slow day and when it started pouring rain around three o’clock, Lauren decided to close early. It was a dreary end to a depressing week and she couldn’t bear to smile at one more person today.

J
ORDAN HAD STARED
at the off-white walls of his house so much the last two weeks that he thought that if he spent one more minute there, he very likely would go crazy. He had tried to work up enough enthusiasm to make a date with one of his old girlfriends, but the idea held so little appeal that he dropped it. Long hours in the lab had taken up much of his spare time, but the quality of the work he was producing was not up to his usual standards. At first he had thought his lack of energy and enthusiasm might be a sign that he was coming down with a summer cold or some sort of virus, but after a self-diagnosis, he knew that his problem wasn’t physical.

Unbidden, the memory of Lauren’s lovely face pushed into his thoughts. She had never been far from them these last few days, regardless of what he was doing. Damn it, he missed her! He didn’t want to, but he did. He hadn’t realized how much he had looked forward to seeing her, talking to her and just being with her. Here he was, making himself miserable, and yet he was no nearer to coming up with a solution than before.

She had surprised him when she dropped by the previous Monday. But because she had acted so strangely and stayed so briefly, he hadn’t been able to determine her motives. Had she come because she missed him as a friend or a suitor? He just didn’t know.

Jordan paced restlessly around his living room. He had checked the television guide and there was nothing worth watching on cable tonight. All of the new movies in town sounded as if they were aimed toward oversexed teenagers or mass-murder enthusiasts, neither of which he was. He might as well change his clothes and go to a party one of his coworkers was giving. His first reaction had been to turn down the invitation, but now he thought,
Why not go? It will be a chance to get out, go crazy, and have a good time. And maybe you can meet someone who will make you forget about Lauren!

A half hour later, he was backing his car out of his driveway. His friend’s house was near the Galleria, but instead of turning in that direction, Jordan turned toward the park. Lauren was only about three weeks away from her due date, which meant the baby could come at any time. It was merely friendly concern that made him decide to stop by her house for a few minutes before heading for the party. As a father-to-be he wondered how the baby was doing and if Lauren was taking care of herself. It didn’t matter that he had been keeping up-to-date with her progress through Dr. Reese. This was something he needed to check on for himself.

He parked in front of her shop and wound his way along her sidewalk until he reached her kitchen door. When no one answered his knock, his concern increased, especially since he could see several lights were on in the house, giving it the appearance that someone was home. Or maybe she had had to be rushed to the hospital so quickly that she hadn’t bothered turning out the lights. Maybe the baby had come early and right this moment was being delivered. He could already be a father and not even know it. Jordan’s imagination ran rampant. He had to get inside this house and see if her suitcase was gone. The fact that he hadn’t the least idea where her suitcase usually was kept didn’t daunt him.

The door was locked. Jordan pulled out his wallet and tried to jimmy the lock with a credit card until it was obvious that breaking and entering was not among his talents. “Damn,” he muttered under his breath, wondering if it would be quicker to try all the windows of the house in hopes of finding one of them unlatched or simply to break out one of the panes in the door and reach inside to unlock it. Knowing Lauren, she was as meticulous about locking her windows as locking her door, he mused as he walked to the flowerbed and picked up one of the bricks that was being used as a border. Holding it at arm’s length, he smashed the glass panel nearest the lock.

The shattering noise of the glass made him look around nervously. What if someone called the police and he were arrested just when his baby was being born? How would that look in court if he spent his first night as a father in jail? Quickly, he knocked out the jagged pieces of glass that were left in the small frame and carefully stuck his arm through the hole. His fingers found the lock, turned it and the knob and he stepped into the kitchen and shut the door behind him.

Now, he must find some sign that would tell him where she was and why. His long strides crossed the kitchen and dining room and were about to head toward the bedroom when he heard a noise in the living room. Almost tiptoeing to the doorway, not knowing what he was about to find, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared.

Lauren, dressed in a royal-blue satiny robe, half sat, half slouched over the arm of the couch sobbing into the curve of her arm. He hesitated for a split second before he rushed across the room and knelt on the floor in front of her.

“Lauren, what’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you hurting? Please tell me, what’s wrong,” he implored, so fearful that his heart twisted in his chest. He couldn’t stand seeing her like this, crying pitifully. It stirred an emotion so deep and strong within him that he no longer could deny the truth.

His grandmother had been right after all. He
was
in love with Lauren. He might as well admit it and try to figure out a way to convince her that she couldn’t live without him. It was becoming obvious to him that he couldn’t live without her. Here he had gone through the worst two weeks of his life just because he was afraid to face rejection. As a scientist he had certainly had to accept setbacks before now. But if it was a project to which he was truly dedicated, he would begin again, experimenting until he found a different way to accomplish the same result.

Well, he could look on Lauren as one of the most important projects of his life. If she didn’t accept him as a lover right now, he would accept her friendship and wait until he could figure out a way to make her realize that she and the baby would be better off with him. If she wanted to give him crumbs, then he would smile and accept them … for now. But he knew he could never leave her again.

“Lauren, talk to me, please. I’m here now. Let me help you,” he pleaded in a gentle voice. His right hand buried in the silken thickness of her golden hair, pushing it back from her face, then remaining to cup the back of her head as she slowly lifted it. Her beautiful blue eyes glistened with unshed tears. Wide wet trails streaked down her cheeks, and her small chin quivered as she sniffled in an almost childlike gesture. At that moment Jordan knew he didn’t care if his child had none of the Daniels’s physical characteristics. Instead, he wanted their baby to look exactly like Lauren.

“Jordan … what are … you doing … here?” she managed to ask in a shaky, broken manner as she pulled a tissue from a box on the end table and wiped her eyes.

“Never mind what I’m doing here. Why are you crying? Should I call Dr. Reese? The hospital? An ambulance?”

“It was nothing,” she murmured, looking a little embarrassed. “Really, the baby’s fine and I’m fine. We’re both just fine,” she said, managing a watery smile.

Jordan forced her to meet his gaze. “Don’t try to hide it from me. When I walked into this room a few minutes ago, you were crying as if your heart had been broken. And now you’re trying to tell me that it was nothing. Come on, Lauren. Tell me the truth.”

She nibbled on her lower lip as she considered the concern and distress that was apparent in his smoky eyes.

“You’re going to think that I’m really silly,” she said.

“Something was bothering you and I don’t care how silly you think it is,” he assured her. “I want to help you.”

“I don’t think you can,” she replied as she pushed aside the folds of her robe and pulled out a wad of soft white yarn. Sorting through the mess, she finally held up what appeared to be a misshapen sock. “Look at this. Isn’t this the most awful bootee you’ve ever seen? I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I’m a complete failure at this. What kind of mother will I be if I can’t even knit a bootee?”

Jordan, who was still kneeling on the floor, sat back on his heels and stared at her. “You mean, you were that upset because you couldn’t knit a bootee?” he asked incredulously. “I thought you were in horrible pain. You were crying so hard you didn’t even hear me knock on the back door or break out the window.”