SWEET ANTICIPATION (17 page)

Dr. Reese nodded and got to work. “She’s bleeding pretty heavily, Jordan, and if we don’t get that baby out of there, Lauren’s going to be in bad shape. But the baby is too far down in the birth canal for a caesarian section and if we do a forceps delivery and the cord is wrapped around his neck, as I suspect it must be, then we will run the risk of losing him.” Dr. Reese paused and heaved a distressed sigh. “I hate to do this to you, Jordan, but you’re going to have to make a difficult decision quickly. If we’re not able to save them both, whom should we try to—”

“Don’t say it,” Jordan interrupted with a groan. “You can’t ask me to do something like that.”

“You’re the only one I can ask. Lauren isn’t capable of making such a choice and her parents still haven’t arrived at the hospital. I know this is painful for you, but I need to know—just in case.”

In that split second Jordan thought of all the good times he and Lauren had shared. He remembered the soft sound of her laughter, the sweetness of her kisses and her absolute devotion to this child. She wouldn’t want him to make the decision to let their baby die. He had never seen a woman want a child more than she wanted this one.

And Jordan couldn’t forget the fact that this baby might very well be his only chance to be a father to a child. Was he willing to lose this most precious of dreams, the blood of his blood and flesh of his flesh? Could he bear the thought that he had not given his child every opportunity to live a long, full life?

But on the other hand, how could he let Lauren sacrifice her life for a child who as yet had no identity? How could he let her die? He loved her so much and he had never even told her. If he hadn’t let his stupid pride get in the way, she could already have become his wife weeks ago. But he had wanted to make certain she had gotten Johnny out of her system and was ready to start a new life with him.

Jordan had been afraid that she had agreed to his proposal in a spur-of-the-moment rush of goodwill toward him and that later, when her moods weren’t taking such dramatic swings, she would regret it. After considering all these facts, he had intentionally put off the wedding until after the baby was born so that Lauren would never feel she had been pressured into it just so she could keep her child. He hadn’t wanted their marriage to begin on such shaky ground.

Jordan knew he would never have been able to go through with a custody case. After getting to know what a wonderful, unselfish, loving person Lauren was, he wouldn’t have been able to live with his conscience if he had tried to take away, even briefly, her most beloved possession. However, it would have made him the happiest man in the world to be able to share the child with her.

All three of them could have been so happy together. He knew that Lauren didn’t love him yet, at least not as much as he loved her, but he would be willing to marry her anyway, in the hope that she would eventually grow to love him. Now, he might never have that chance.

He should have rushed her to the altar as soon as she accepted his proposal. His gaze fell on the set of wedding rings that still held the place of honor on the ring finger of her left hand. But how could he marry her when she was still married to a ghost from her past? If only she had removed those rings, he would have taken it as a symbol that she was ready to move on with her life. Was she still clinging to the hope that the child wouldn’t be Jordan’s, so that she and her precious Johnny could claim it as their own? Had she been so deeply in love with her first husband that no other man would ever have a chance to win her love?

“So what will it be, Jordan?” Dr. Reese asked, gently cutting into Jordan’s thoughts. “I must have your decision now.”

Chapter Eleven

Jordan dozed in the chair next to Lauren’s hospital bed. He had taken time to hurry home for a quick shower, shave and change of clothes, but he hadn’t gotten any sleep for almost thirty-six hours. Now that it was all over, he could barely keep his eyes open, but he wanted to be with her when she awoke.

This had, without a doubt, been the most difficult day of his life. He had observed a life-and-death struggle in the operating room whose outcome would directly affect him forever.

“Jordan?” a weak voice inquired.

He immediately jumped up and leaned over the bed rail. “I’m here, Lauren. How do you feel?” Cupping her hand in both of his, he felt a wave of compassion wash over him, bringing tears to his eyes. She looked so fragile and pale, almost ethereal with her beautiful golden hair fluffed out around her head on the stark white pillowcase.

“Groggy,” she murmured, running the tip of her tongue over her dry lips. “And thirsty—very thirsty.”

There was a pitcher of water on her bedside table and he poured a little into a glass. “Here,” he said, putting his hand behind her head and lifting it so she could drink from the straw. “Not too much. Your stomach is empty and you’ll get sick if you fill it with water.”

After she had taken a couple of sips, he gently lowered her head to the pillow and put the glass on the table. His hand returned to her head where he tenderly smoothed her silky hair, his fingers combing through the tangles.

“What happened? Is it over?” Her hand moved over to her stomach and rubbed across the much flatter surface. “I guess it is. How’s the baby?”

“It was really touch and go there for a while. There were some unexpected complications. You lost quite a lot of blood and we had to speed up the delivery. The baby had the cord wrapped around her neck and …”

Just as he began to explain what had occurred, the door opened and a nurse entered the room carrying in her arms a tiny pink blanket-wrapped bundle. “Is Mommy awake yet? Good, because your little girl can’t wait for you to hold her.”

“I have a daughter?” Lauren whispered, trying to make her eyes focus on the baby as the nurse came nearer.

“Yes, and she’s the most beautiful angel you’ve ever seen,” Jordan exclaimed, his voice fairly bursting with pride. He pushed the button to raise the head of the bed and adjusted the pillows until Lauren was in a reclined sitting position.

The nurse placed the baby in the curve of Lauren’s arm and left the room, promising to return in a minute with a bottle of formula. .

Lauren stared down at the incredibly tiny infant and she was filled with a sense of awe that this child had, just a few hours earlier, still been a part of her. A pale fuzz of blond hair covered the top of the baby’s head and her pale blue eyes seemed to be returning Lauren’s gaze.

“Is she okay?” Lauren asked.

“She’s absolutely perfect,” Jordan reassured her.

Lauren couldn’t resist unwrapping the neatly tucked blanket until she could see the baby’s short plump legs and miniature feet. “They look like little peas,” she said as she counted the round toes.

“Ten fingers and ten toes—standard issue. And even though she looks small, she weighs eight pounds, two ounces. Except for one boy who weighs just over nine pounds, she’s the biggest kid in the whole nursery.”

Lauren lifted her gaze to meet Jordan’s. “I’m sorry she’s not the little boy you wanted so badly.”

“Are you joking? A boy would have been nice, but I wouldn’t trade this little sweetheart for any other baby in the world. Just look at her. Isn’t she the prettiest baby you’ve ever seen in your life?”

“Those sound like the words of a doting daddy. So you’re not sorry she’s not a boy?”

“Of course not. After all we went through to get her, I’m just ecstatic that she’s healthy,”
and alive,
he added to himself.

The nurse returned carrying a small bottle, which she handed to Lauren. “You need to burp her after every ounce, but don’t be alarmed if she doesn’t eat much yet. For the first couple of days babies don’t really need the nourishment. This is mainly to teach them how to suck the nipple.”

“But there must be some mistake,” Lauren protested. “I was planning on breast-feeding her.”

The nurse glanced over at Jordan. “I’m not sure why, but it was marked on your chart that you would be bottle-feeding your child. Perhaps I can check it out for you.”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Jordan replied, then turned to Lauren. “You see, because you lost so much blood, you had to have a transfusion. Dr. Reese didn’t feel it would be wise for you to breast-feed, not only because of your weakened condition, but because of the medicine he had to give you to stabilize your blood pressure. So while you were still in the operating room, he gave you an injection to keep you from producing milk.”

Lauren sensed there was much more to the story than he was telling her. From the pained expression on his face and the tenseness of his tone, she knew she and the baby must have been in real danger. But right now she was so glad that they had both made it, she didn’t want to know all the details. It was better to be grateful for this tiny child who was waving her pink fists and twisting her face up in prelude to a crying bout, than to dwell on how bad things might have turned out.

“Here’s your bottle, sweetheart. It’s not as good as the real thing, but you’ll like it almost as much.” She guided the nipple into the baby’s mouth and smiled as the infant rolled it around on her tongue, then tried to spit it out. But Lauren’s persistence paid off when the baby finally decided to take a taste, then began sucking lazily until she fell asleep.

“I guess she wasn’t very hungry,” Lauren said.

“Well, she’s been through a real ordeal, too. I’ve heard that being born is the most traumatic experience in a person’s life,” Jordan said.

For several minutes Jordan and Lauren merely watched the baby sleep, both of them so amazed and humbled by this miracle of nature that they couldn’t adequately express themselves. But it didn’t really matter since conversation between them was unnecessary. They each knew what the other was thinking right then.

No two parents could have been prouder, but it was foremost in both of their minds that the baby held no visible resemblance to Jordan. She appeared to have Lauren’s fair complexion, along with her blond hair and vividly blue eyes. But neither Jordan nor Lauren wanted to make any mention of the blood tests just yet. This was a time to congratulate themselves and share the joy, rather than find out any unwelcome truths.

After the nurse returned and took the baby back to the nursery, Lauren yawned and felt the lingering effects of the anesthesia overtake her.

“What time is it?” she asked sleepily.

Jordan looked at his watch and replied, “It’s almost eight-thirty.” Then after covering a yawn of his own, he gave her a tired smile. “I’ll bet we both will sleep like babies tonight.”

“You look exhausted. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? I’m afraid I’m not the best of company right now.” She yawned again. “I know I can barely keep my eyes open.”

“I hate to leave you, but I guess there’s no sense in staying here and getting a crick in my neck by sleeping in this chair.” He bent over her bed and placed a long, affectionate kiss on her lips. “You did a fine job with our daughter. If I weren’t so tired, I’d be the happiest man in the world.”

“I’m glad you’re not disappointed.”

“Nothing you could do would disappoint me.”

“Jordan, I’m so glad you were here, with me, through it all. I thought I could make it alone, but I was wrong. Thank you—for everything.”

“You could have done it without me. You’re a very strong woman and I admire you for it. I’m thankful you let me share this special occasion with you.” He straightened and tucked the blanket more closely around her. “Well, I’d better be going. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that Rita dropped by while you were still asleep. She brought you those,” he added, gesturing toward a huge bouquet of bright-pink balloons printed with hearts, roses and It’s a Girl!

“She said not to worry about a thing at the shop and that she’ll come visit you again tomorrow afternoon. And she said that your mother called and told her that the engine in their recreational vehicle blew up just after they left Corpus Christi. They had to put it in the shop, but it should be fixed in a couple of days. She promises to be here, even if she has to catch a bus, before you leave the hospital. She also said she’d call you as soon as she knows for sure when they’ll be leaving, and she’s thrilled about having a granddaughter.”

“What about your mother and grandmother?” Lauren asked. “What have you told them about the baby?”

Jordan shook his head. “Nothing yet. I haven’t wanted them to get their hopes up, in case things don’t work out. If they knew, they would both be so excited that you’d have so much company you’d never get any rest.”

Lauren didn’t reply to this explanation, which gave him no clue as to how she felt about it. Leaning down for one more kiss, he asked, “Is there anything else I can get you before I leave?”

“Just show me where the buttons are to adjust the bed and call the nurse,” she answered in a strangely sad voice. Jordan blamed it on her medication and thought that the best thing would be for her to sleep it off. After he helped her get comfortable, he turned off the light and left.

She slept through the night, waking only when they brought the baby in for her ten p.m. and two a.m. feedings. By morning, she was feeling more alert, but with the passing of the last effects of the anesthesia came the post-delivery pain. However, compared with her lengthy labor, these cramps were nothing but a minor discomfort.

The nurse helped her wash up and change out of the green hospital gown into one of the pretty new nightgowns Lauren had packed. After the nurse left, Lauren brushed all the snarls out of her hair and touched up her eyelashes with some mascara. There was still quite a bit of discomfort, but as soon as she was dressed, she felt much better, ready to face the world and receive the visitors she was expecting.

She had barely finished eating the most unappetizing breakfast she had ever seen, when Dr. Reese stopped by to see how she was recovering. He pressed on her stomach and, satisfied with his findings, smiled and said, “Well, Lauren, you did it. You finally have your baby. And I don’t say this to all my new mothers, but your little girl is one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever delivered, almost as pretty as her mother was when she was born.”

“I think she is exceptional,” Lauren boasted proudly. “But of course I might be just a teensy bit prejudiced.”

“I stopped by the nursery and checked on her before I came to your room. She was wide awake, but even though most of the other babies were crying, she was calmly trying to figure out how to get her thumb into her mouth. Dr. Johnson, the pediatrician, was there, too, so I had a chance to talk to him. He said she is doing just fine and showing absolutely no side effects from her transfusion.”

“Transfusion?” Lauren asked, her forehead wrinkling into a confused frown. “I know I had to have one, but no one told me that my baby did, too.”

“Your loss of blood affected her as well. She was dangerously anemic at birth, so we felt a transfusion would help her own blood cells to rebuild quicker. Luckily, Jordan had a compatible blood type and was able to make the donation.”

“Does that mean you’ve already done a blood test on her?” She waited apprehensively for his answer. Part of her wanted to know, but another part wished the results were never made available. “Is it too coincidental that his and the baby’s blood types match?”

“No, not at all,” Dr. Reese explained. “They both have a very common blood type. We could have used a dona-. tion from the blood bank, but I always prefer to use the blood of a friend or relative if it is available.

“And no, we haven’t run the paternity test yet. We were in a hurry and just ran a simple test to determine her type. The paternity test is much more complicated. It actually consists of thirty-four different tests, some that deal with the white blood cells, some with the red ones, and still others with the plasma and the clear part of the blood. And now that Jordan’s blood has been mixed with her own in the transfusion, we will have to wait at least six weeks to get an accurate finding.”

“Six weeks? We won’t know anything until then?” Lauren was thrilled with that news. She had six more weeks with Jordan. Six precious weeks to find out his true feelings for her. “And how accurate will it be after that time?”