Sweet Baklava (25 page)

P
aula tried her best to have fun, but knowing Nick would be gone soon dampened her joy. They made the delivery then headed to Channelside, where they had dinner at Tina's Tapas.

"Not hungry?" Nick asked as she nibbled at her food.

She shook her head and pushed her plate away. "Sorry."

"I'll just get them to box it up for us. Ready to go back?"

Paula didn't want to go home, but she nodded anyway, her pent-up feelings confusing her. Lately her whole life was so off-kilter—with both good and bad things happening. Actually, everything was good except the fact that Nick was leaving.

Nick didn't make small talk. Instead, when they were in the car heading back to Tarpon Springs, he finally spoke. "When can you get away to visit me in Texas?"

"How about after the first of the year?"

She watched his profile as he thought about it and nodded. "Makes sense, with the holidays coming up soon. I'm sure your business will boom."

"It already is, thanks to Alexa."

When they stopped for a light, he turned to Paula. "At least having her and Stephie there will give you some peace of mind when you come to see me."

"Yeah, there is that."

"Mama told me to invite you over for the family get-together before I leave. Wanna join us?"

Paula pursed her lips and shook her head. "No, but tell her thanks."

Nick drove her home and walked her to the door. She knew he was hoping she'd invite him in, but she was so miserable she wanted to be alone. Strange how the reason for her sadness centered on his leaving, yet being with him made it worse.

He walked her to the door and dropped a feather-soft kiss on her lips. Her legs nearly gave way beneath her, but she leaned against the door.

"See you around," he whispered. "I'll wait here until you're safely inside."

After unlocking the door, she slipped inside and turned the bolt. She waited until she heard the sound of his car pulling away before turning on the light.

Paula moped around until she was too sleepy to stay awake. When she awoke the next day, she felt like she was simply going through the motions of living.

The next several days brought more misery. Nick stopped by the shop each day, but on the day he was due to leave, he didn't show up. She'd given Alexa the day off to spend some time with Nick. Amanda stayed with her until closing.

As they locked the door, Amanda touched Paula's arm. "I know how hard this is for you. If you need to talk, call me later, okay?"

Paula had to bite back the tears in front of her young employee, but the second Amanda took off she let the floodgates open. She sobbed all the way home. Nick was probably on his way to the airport, and she wouldn't see him again for at least a couple of months.

After four nights of very little sleep, Paula ached all over. She'd cried at night until she had no more tears. Each morning, she lived on coffee until her stomach rumbled. She ate barely enough to keep going. All her clothes had started to sag on her.

Paula couldn't avoid looking Alexa in the eye anymore. Alexa's eyes bugged. "You have got to quit doing this to yourself, Paula. Nick loves you, and you love him. I don't see the problem."

"Um . . . yeah, I guess you don't." Paula sniffled and looked down. "It's complicated."

"You're both stubborn. And you're both in terrible shape."

"Oh, I'm sure Nick's fine."

"I don't think so," Alexa said. "He kept biting our heads off the night he left, so Uncle Cletus took him to the airport early."

"Sorry."

"Nick said the same thing you just said. It's complicated. But how complicated can it be, really? People fall in love all the time, and they find ways to be together. You and Nick have always had something special. I've never known any two people who are more meant for each other than you guys."

Paula forced a smile. "Thank you, but it's still not that simple. For the first time in my life, I have a home that is solid."

"The same thing goes for Nick. He loves his job, and he doesn't want to be tied down to the sponge or bakery business. Uncle Cletus even told him to find something he loves so he can stay here. No one's gonna try to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do. But they know how much he wants to be with you."

"I'll be visiting him soon," Paula said. "Maybe things will seem clear then."

"Nothing will be clear unless both of you open your eyes."

Paula was about to comment when the phone rang. Alexa took the call and pulled out an order form, indicating it was a wholesale order. She'd be a while.

Each day was busier than the one before, so Paula barely had time to breathe, let alone worry about her feelings for Nick. Amanda agreed to work a few more hours on Saturdays to help with all the extra business.

"What are your plans for Christmas?" Alexa asked.

Paula shrugged. "I'll probably work late on Christmas Eve, go to the late services at church, then go home and crash."

"Wanna come over and spend the night with us?"

"No thanks," Paula said. "I appreciate the offer, but I like to sleep in my own house."

"I just hate for you to be alone on Christmas."

"I don't mind." And she really didn't.

When she was a little girl, her parents always argued on Christmas morning, and her dad would storm out and not return until night. Years later she learned that her dad was seeing another woman, and that was where he went. When she and her mother moved away, Paula spent most of Christmas Day consoling her mother, who sobbed about how lonely she was. Being alone beat both of those experiences.

Paula fell asleep on Christmas Eve praying for wisdom and the ability to bring glory to God rather than feel sorry for herself. It was late, so she expected to sleep in the next morning. However, a loud rapping on the door startled her awake.

She had no idea who'd be at her house at . . . she glanced at the clock and squinted. It was barely seven o'clock. No one she knew would bother her so early.

When she opened the door, she found herself looking at her mother's tearstained face. "Mom!"

"Are you gonna invite me in, or do I have to stand out here and freeze half to death?"

Paula stepped back and pulled the door open all the way. "Come in, even though I don't see how you can freeze in seventy-degree weather." She glanced toward the car to see if anyone else was with her mother. "Where's Mack?"

Her mother sighed in exasperation. "He went to see his kids. Can you believe he'd do that to me?"

"What's wrong with him seeing his kids on Christmas morning?"

"He went last night. I hung around for a while then decided if he could go see his kids, I could come see mine."

"Mom, that's different. His kids live less than an hour away. Does he know where you are?"

She flicked her hand from the wrist. "I left him a note. Ever since he found out I had a private investigator watching him, he's been different. It's like he doesn't trust me now."

"Can't say I blame him."

Her mother shot her a look of disapproval, but she quickly changed the subject. "Whatcha got to eat? I'm starving."

"I picked up a couple of bagels," Paula said. "There's some cream cheese in the fridge."

"I'm in the mood for some eggs. How come you never have decent food around here?"

Paula followed her mother into the kitchen and watched her open the refrigerator door. She pulled out a sack and opened it. "What's this?"

"Leftovers from Tina's Tapas."

Her mother sniffed the contents and made a face. "It doesn't look good."

"If I'd known you were coming, I would have picked up some stuff. You should have called and told me yesterday when the stores were still open."

"How could I have called to tell you when I didn't even know myself?"

Paula thought for a moment then opened the refrigerator. "Do you want a bagel or not?"

"I guess that'll do." Her mother took a step back from the kitchen and glanced around. "Where's your tree?"

"I didn't get one."

"What's wrong with you, Paula? Nothing decent to eat and no tree? What kind of Christmas is this?"

"I went to church last night. It was really nice. The pastor read the Nativity story, and then the children put on a play."

"You didn't pay a bit of attention to me when you were growing up, did you? I tried to teach you all about the important things, and you're living like you came from another planet."

Paula didn't feel like arguing. "Sorry."

"I got your package last week."

"Good," Paula said. "Do you like it?"

"It's very nice. I've always loved cashmere, and you know red is my favorite color. You couldn't go wrong with that."

"Did Mack like the gloves?"

"Yep. In fact, he was wearing them when he left the house."

Paula stood there and tried to think of what to do next. "Want some coffee?"

"Of course."

A half hour later, as they sat at the kitchen table eating bagels and sipping coffee, Paula thought about how her mother hadn't bothered sending anything—not even a card. But she wasn't about to mention it.

"Did you get any presents this year?" her mother asked.

Paula nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Who from?"

"Dad sent me a gift card and a basket of chocolates."

"That's nice. How about Nick? Did he bother with a present?"

Paula reached for the bracelet still in the box on the corner of the table. "Isn't this pretty?"

Her mother lifted it and turned it over. "It's okay. A ring would be better. When are you two getting married?"

"Mom, that's not open for discussion."

"Don't get so testy with me, young lady. I've—"

A ringing sound came from her handbag. She reached in, pulled out her cell phone, checked the number, and groaned as she took the call.

"Did you get my note?"

Paula got up to refill the coffee while she listened to her mother's side of the conversation. When her mother flipped her phone closed, she stood up.

"Mack's mad."

"Because you came down here?"

"No, because he didn't get my note. I'm sure I left one, but he says it wasn't there."

"So what are you gonna do now?" Paula asked.

"I don't know. Everything is just so difficult. I don't get why he's so upset about my coming down here. He should understand."

"Do you think he'll ever get over you hiring the private investigator?"

"I don't know. Like I said, he doesn't trust me now." She shrugged. "He says he understands, after what I went through with your father. But I don't believe he truly gets why I did it."

"Did you ever think about sitting down and being honest with him . . . and having a conversation about your feelings?" Paula asked.

"Men don't understand feelings. They only believe in what they see."

"Not all men."

Her mother snickered. "I've never met one who was different. Sometimes I feel like their only purpose is to drive women crazy."

"Dad used to say the same thing about women."

Her mother cleared her throat. "I might have made a mistake when I left him."

Paula couldn't believe her ears. "Are you serious? I thought you hated Dad because he was involved with another woman. That's what you always told me."

"I didn't really hate him. His relationship with that tramp wouldn't have lasted long if we hadn't left. He would have eventually come back to us."

"I don't know about that." Paula hated discussing her parents with each of them. The couple of times she'd spoken with her dad over the past several years, he'd asked one question after another about her mother. "So where is Mack?"

"Home. And he wants me there."

"Why don't you spend the night and go back tomorrow?" Paula asked.

Her mother hung her head. "If I do, Mack might not be there."

"What?" Paula shrieked. "What kind of marriage do you and Mack have?"

"There are some things I haven't told you."

"Like what? Are you and Mack having problems other than . . . well, the job you never had and the private investigator?"

"Sort of." Her mother pulled a tissue from her bag and blotted her eyes. "Mack is such a frustrating man. He always was, even back in high school."

"Then why did you marry him?"

"I was sick of being alone. After you grew up, I figured I might as well head back to Alabama and be with someone who worshiped me. I assumed he'd want to take care of me and pamper me like he did his first wife." She groaned. "But no, he said he wasn't doing that again."

A phone rang again, only this time it was Paula's house phone. It was Nick.

"Merry Christmas," he said. "I miss you."

"Just a minute." She put her hand over the mouthpiece. "I'll take this call in my room," she whispered to her mother. "It'll only be a few minutes."

Her mother nodded.

After she closed her bedroom door, she chatted with Nick. "Mom appeared unexpectedly, and now I don't know what to do."

"Where's Mack?"

Paula told him a little about what was going on. "I feel like I need to give her some advice, but she doesn't listen."

Nick chuckled. "She hasn't changed, has she?"

"No, I guess not."

"I don't want to keep you long. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and let you know I'm looking forward to seeing you. One of my buddies has a girlfriend who said you can stay with her when you come."

Paula swallowed hard. "I can't wait."

After she got off the phone, Paula went back to the living room. Her mother tilted her head. "Who was that?"

"Nick."

"I can't believe the two of you still haven't figured out what to do with your relationship. Seems like one of you would have moved on by now."

"To borrow the words you used so many times, it's complicated."

Her mother smiled. "Life is like that sometimes."

"I plan to visit Nick soon, though. He invited me to come to Texas after the holidays."

Her mother's eyebrows shot up. "Well, this is an interesting development. So the two of you are more serious than I realized."

Paula lifted a shoulder and let it fall. "Unfortunately, I can't imagine leaving here, and he loves the Air Force."