Sweet Christmas Kisses (61 page)

“Don’t hesitate,” Tiff whispered.  The fear in her voice silenced the nuns.

Jax wished he had time to put on his prosthesis.  Balance was called for.  He set his cane on the table, fisted the tea towel in his left hand and gripped the pitcher handle with his right.

Scoop and cover.  Scoop and cover.

“When I set this gentleman free outside, you’re going to owe me a kiss,” he said.

“I’ll kiss you a second time if you kill it.”

So tempting.  “We’ll see.  Hold still.” 
And pray I don’t fall over.

The capture was anti-climactic.  The spider didn’t try to get out from underneath the tea towel.  Sister Mary Ofelia took it outside.

Tiff collapsed into Jax’s arms.

“One thing about Ecuador.”  Jax tightened his arms around her.  “It’s never dull.”

Midnight. The revelry was over.  The nuns shuffled to bed.  There was nothing left to clean up.

It was Christmas Day.  Come sunrise, Jax would leave.

Tiff’s heart ached at the thought.

“Is the wildlife always so prevalent here?” Jax followed her down the hallway to her room.  “Or is it because it’s Christmas?”

“It’s part of daily life.  It still freaks me out though.”  She closed the door behind him and spread the reed mat on the floor.  “Thank you for a memorable holiday.”

Jax sat on the mat by balancing on his cane.  He patted a space next to him.  “Come sit with me so we can talk without me getting a kink in my neck.”

Tiff turned out the light and sat next to him.  “It’s not very comfortable.”  But the narrow cot wouldn’t hold them both.

“It’s better lying down.”  He stretched out, gently tugging her along with him.

How easy it was to believe that this could last when his arms were around her.  “This tops the Christmas when I got Barbie’s Dreamhouse.”

“Do you know what I like about you?”  Jax pressed a kiss to the top of her forehead.

“My ability to remain calm in a crisis?”  Tiff let her hand roam over his chest.

“I like your ability to scream a warning in a crisis, sure.”  There was laughter in his voice.  “But what I really like…
What I love
–”

She gasped and tried to sit up.  “This is your idea of slow?”

He held her close.  “Hey, I went through two
unido
ceremonies and captured a gargantuan spider for you.  I’m allowed the use of the L-word as long as I don’t use it in a short string of three words starting with I.”

“Oh.”  She was let down.  She shouldn’t be.

“Don’t change the subject.”  He stroked her hair.  “I was talking about what I loved about you.”

“If this is a top ten list, I’m not interested.” 

“I love–” he said louder.  “–that you face your fears.  Snakes and spiders and bees, oh my.”

Jokes?  That wasn’t so bad.  She snuggled closer, resting her hand over his heart.  “You can go on.”

“I know this thing between us scares you, but it can’t kill you.”  His tone was resolute, like a politician giving his victory speech.  “You’ve come a long way since your last break-up.  You seem like you’re in a good place.”

“In a convent in Ecuador.”

“I’m not kidding.”  He pressed another kiss to her forehead, making her sigh.  “Can you see me in your future?”

She felt his question rumble through his chest.  Her fingers over his heart seemed to absorb his vulnerability and his sincerity.  She could see herself waking up to his lopsided grin.  Hear him singing their babies to sleep.  Feel the strength and confidence as he held her hand in good times and bad.  “I can.”  There.  She’d said it.  “But what if you snore?  What if we fight about where to live?  What if – ”

“Quit jumping ahead.  It’s like climbing a hill.  You go one step at a time.”

“Jumping ahead is what I do.”  It’s why she was single.

“It’s what makes you panic.  Don’t jump.”  He turned to whisper in her ear.  “When you get scared, remember us like this.  Remember that we’re in this together.  We’ll move forward together.”

“If that were true, you’d stay until your sores are fully healed and we’ve had more time to settle into this.”

Now it was Jax who stiffened, Jax who sounded boxed in.  “I have additional padding for my knee.  I can make it to Quito.  Don’t ask me to stay because you doubt me.” 

“I’d never ask you to cancel your trip.  I know how important it is to you.”  Her fingers had curled around the collar of his T-shirt.  “And I’m not doubting you’ll make it on pure will power.  I’m asking you to wait until you’re ready.  Where will you stay every night?  If you sleep in the open, the bugs will eat you alive.”  She forced herself to pry her fingers free, smoothing the soft cotton.  “And the thunderstorms…”

“Owen’s grandfather trekked from Guayaquil to Quinto.  If he can do it, I can do it.”  So determined.  So proud.  “He walked because his love moved to Quinto and her father refused to let them marry.  He figured if he walked the entire way that he’d earn the man’s respect.  And he did.  You have to see why I have to do this.”

“I do,” she murmured, unable to quell the fear she had for him, but understanding his motives.

“I have a plan.  I have a map.”  He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.  “I’m going to leave tomorrow and when I’m done walking I’ll see you again.  We’ll spend time together and you’ll know with 100% certainty that this is the real thing.  No more frogs for Tiffany Bonander.”

“I like the sound of that.”  She tried to smile, which was a useless gesture since he couldn’t see her.  “But could you stay a few more days, just to reassure me?”

“I can see how a few days would turn into months while you conducted your cocoa experiments.”  His voice wasn’t entirely a refusal.

“At least sleep on it,” she pressed.

She could feel his reluctance in his rigid muscles.  “I have to do this, Tiff.  Trust this little feeling, this little seed, and let it grow into something.  Or tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll ask Sister Mary Ofelia for a divorce in the morning.”

And that was the problem.  She did feel the same way.  She’d never known a man so honest and genuine, so worthy of love.  She felt as if she could tell him anything.  And in turn, he wouldn’t dismiss her aspirations, like Chad, or laugh at her footwear, like Adam.  “What if I came with you?”

“We’re on two different paths at the moment, Tiff.  You need to cultivate your cocoa beans.  I need to honor Owen.”

“Why do you always have to be right?”

“Because I don’t jump ahead.  I live in the moment.”  He tucked her close against him.  “Now, no more talking.”

Jax awoke in the gray light before dawn.  Tiff slept on the cot next to him, her face relaxed in slumber.

She was determined save her family’s company.  She was equally determined he postpone his trip across Ecuador.  She knew how dangerous Ecuador could be.  She was worried something would go wrong–bugs, snakes, infection.  He’d bet she’d stayed awake last night coming up with more arguments to make him stay and keep him safe.

He’d had a few himself last night, finally realizing that Owen should be the main motivator for his trek, not Jax’s manhood.  The longer he waited, the more likely he’d be to disappoint Owen and his family.  In fact, there was an urgency to his leaving.  Other men scarred by their military service would benefit from treks like this.  He could organize them.

Suddenly, Jax knew what he had to do.  He had to leave before Tiff woke up, before she came up with another batch of reasons he should stay, before he found merit in one of her arguments.  He’d leave her with
unido
and the promise of a future between them.

It was Christmas morning.  His sock liners above the hotplate should have dried completely.  The river should have receded.  The bridge would be passable, even if he had to cross by walking on the girders.  He could go.  He had to go.

He drank in her beautiful face in case the connection they made fell apart.  Or he died trying to prove himself.

You can stay.

He imagined returning to Phoenix without having crossed into the Andes.  His father would say, “I told you so.”  His mother would continue to treat him like an invalid.

He’d come here to prove something.  If his love for Tiff was meant to be, she’d wait for him.  She was stronger than she gave herself credit for.

Tiff stretched and opened her eyes to an empty bedroom.  The convent was quiet.  No creaking floorboards.  No squeaky walkers.  No shower.  No…  “
Jax?
”

She leapt to her feet and ran for her boots, bolting out the door without bothering to close it.  She clumped down the stairs, down the path.  She nearly fell as she burst onto the road.  “Jax!”

The road was empty.

Booted footprints in the mud headed downhill.  There was no way to tell when he’d left or how far ahead of her he was.

She wanted another chance to talk him out of leaving so soon.  She wanted to say goodbye and feel the reassurance of his arms around her.

She ran in her pink boots and yoga pants, keeping to the middle of the road, trying not to lose her footing.  Soon, the rapid gurgle of the river reached her.  One bend.  Two.  The road turned and widened down to the bridge. 

The river had dropped enough that it barely covered the boards that were left.  Crossing was still too dangerous.

Jax was making his way across, about five feet from the far side.  His steps weren’t sure.  A board skittered against the low railing, nearly taking his prosthetic foot out from under him.  Twigs, branches, and unidentified things rushed around his ankles.

“
Jax
!”

He righted himself, reaching down to tug at his pants leg above his prosthetic.  “Snake Bait.”

She reminded herself to breathe, reminded herself she had no right to hold him here.  In fact, it was better if he left.  For him.

Jax carefully navigated the rest of the bridge and turned to face her.  “Merry Christmas.”

She wouldn’t ask him to stay.  Instead, she recorded every detail of his appearance in her memory.  The endearingly crooked smile.  The determined look in his blue eyes framed on one side by a purplish bruise.  The stance that said nothing was going to stand in the way of his goals. 

Except she was on his list of goals now.  And he was leaving her behind.

She’d always done the leaving.  Now she understood Chad’s bitterness, Adam’s lovesick stares, Malcolm’s drunk dialing.  She felt it all.  The loneliness, the insignificance, the heartbreak.

Jax waited for her to say something.  She could release him from
unido
.  She should release him.  But her heart rebelled at the idea, pounding as if it could work its way to Jax if it only beat fast enough.

Before she found her courage, he spoke.  “About
unido
…”

Her heart sank into her pink boots.  He was dumping her.  Despite what he’d said last night.  Why else would he sneak away without saying goodbye?

“I understand.”  She’d known what they had couldn’t last.  Karma was having the last word. 

“About
unido
–”

“It’s okay.  It doesn’t matter.”  What mattered was that he stayed safe.  “Did you remember your gun?”

“Yes.”  He frowned.  “You’re okay with my leaving?”

She nodded when all she wanted to do was shake her head and shout, “No!”  She sucked all her panic into a tight ball in her belly.  “What about the thunder?  Promise me you won’t go walking around in the rainforest during a thunderstorm.”

“I took your bandana.”  Jax pulled it out of a side pocket in his cargo pants.  “Your scent.  It calms me.  Together, we can beat this.” 

She was glad.  She was oh-so-very glad he had a plan to stay safe.  And if it didn’t work, he’d work something else out.  She struggled to assemble a brave smile.  “We’ll always have Christmas.  Our flooded, snake-infested, bug-filled, muggy Christmas.”  She swallowed back grief and soldiered a smile.  “So this is goodbye.”

“Tiffany, you’re jumping ahead.”  He scowled and propped his hands on his hips.  “If you can do it, I can, too.  What was the name of that bed and breakfast your aunt runs in Cedar City?  The one with the weddings?”

“The Iron Gate Inn?”  What did that have to do with anything?

His frown turned into a determined look.  “I’m going for a walk.”

This is it
.  Tiff could barely nod.  She certainly couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat.

“Should take me a couple of months.”

She nodded again.  Being a bobblehead meant she felt no emotion, because the bobbing kept it all inside her.  The hurt and disbelief snacked on her chest from the inside out.

“I’ll meet you the last week in April at The Iron Gate Inn.  That ought to give you enough time to develop your cocoa tree.  I want you to email my friend, Gary.”  He rattled off a gmail address.  “Tell him to get the boys together because at the end of our stay we’re going to dissolve our
unido
agreement and get married.  If you’ll have me.”

Tiff nearly slipped into the river.

“I’ll show up.  That’s a promise.  And my father always told me a Christmas promise couldn’t be broken.”  He grinned.  “You’ll be there, right?”

She nodded, feeling as if she’d been side-swiped and left helpless on the side of the road.  But of one thing, she was certain.  Jax would rescue her.

“Between now and then, you can second guess things all you want, Tiff, but we’ll make this thing between us stronger than these old bridge girders.”  She could have sworn his gaze dropped to her lips, before reconnecting with her eyes.  “I should have kissed you goodbye.  I love you, wife.”

He–

He was gone.

Before she could gather her wits.

Before she could say he was a fool.

And that she loved him, too.

Thank you for reading the first installment of The Bridesmaids sweet novella series by Melinda Curtis.  The next of the three novellas will be set at The Iron Gate Inn and feature a week of wedding planning and mishaps as Tiffany and her bridesmaids prepare for the Bon-Bon Bride’s wedding.  I write another sweet series for Harlequin Heartwarming set in Harmony Valley, beginning with Dandelion Wishes.  I also write a fun, sexy series set in Hollywood and the NBA as Mel Curtis, beginning with Amber Rules.  Learn more about me and my books at
www.melindacurtis.net
.