Sweet Tomorrows (26 page)

“Fatten me up with your cookies?” I asked hopefully.

She sniffled and leaned back to study me, her eyes and nose red, tears running unrestrained down her cheeks. “I swear you fell in love with me because of my cookies.”

I kissed the moisture from her face. “I'm pleading the fifth.”

She smiled and her lips slid to mine, her mouth opening to my exploration. A man could get drunk on kisses like this. The entire time I'd been at Madigan we'd shared far too few such kisses. I needed her to know how much I yearned for her, how my body cried out to be one with her, to love her, plant children inside her and watch them grow there and give life to the future. The kiss we shared now was one of passion, desire, need. It involved all my senses. The scent, the feel, the taste of this woman was the most potent aphrodisiac I'd ever experienced. If we weren't inside a hospital; if I wasn't physically weak to the point I could barely stand, I knew exactly where this kiss would lead.

We were both panting and shaking by the time we broke apart.

“Wow,” Jo Marie whispered, her voice low and trembling.

“Just a small taste of the future,” I promised, as I brushed the hair away from her forehead, and then, because I couldn't resist, I kissed her again.

Although the timing wasn't great, I had to tell her. “I need to remind you I haven't made my final decision.”

She lowered her head and then nodded. “I can't fight you on this any longer, Mark. You make the decision, do what you know in your heart is right.”

“Will you accept whatever it is I do?” From the pain in her eyes I knew I was asking a lot of her.

“Do I have a choice?”

I exhaled slowly and brought her back into the protective circle of my arms, resting my head on top of hers. “What about this other man?” It was killing me, thinking about Jo Marie dating Greg.

She went still, stiff in my arms. “What about him?”

“I can't bear knowing you're still seeing him. It's eating me alive.”

She smiled and kissed the underside of my jaw. “Are you jealous, Mark?”

“Hell yes, I'm jealous. How would you feel if you learned there was another woman in my life? Wouldn't you lie awake nights wondering what I was thinking, if I still loved you, especially when this other woman made it known she wanted me?”

My question was met with silence and then she said, “There is someone else in your life.” She extracted herself from my arms and took a step back.

“No way, Jo Marie,” I argued. “You're the only one for me. From the moment we met there's never been anyone but you.”

She shook her head and a sad smile came over her. “Her name is Iraq.”

My eyes slammed shut. I'd been blinded by own stupidity.

“I love you far more,” I assured her, reaching for Jo Marie, needing her warmth and her comfort. She let me hug her and rested her head on my shoulder.

“That remains to be seen,” she whispered.

The woman knew exactly what to say to fill my head with concerns and questions. We hadn't resolved the issue, nor had I made up my mind. All that had been accomplished in this heart-to-heart discussion was the knowledge I would lose no matter what I decided.

Nick's parents arrived on Saturday afternoon. He met with them privately for the first part of the day. I was concerned and prayed long and hard that their discussion would go well.

Following the first counseling session, Nick had said very little of what had transpired. He grew sullen and quiet on the drive home. When we arrived back home, he hurried into the house. For a good five minutes I'd sat in the car debating if I should follow him or not. I didn't. Once back at the inn I'd sent him a text, which he answered almost right away. He thanked me and said he needed time to sort through some things. No kidding.

I didn't hear from him on Wednesday despite the three text messages I sent him. Then mid-afternoon he sent me one that said he was fine and I shouldn't worry. Well, good luck with that. I worried.

Thursday he seemed more like himself. I stopped by and I helped him straighten up the house and clean it for his parents' visit. He used every opportunity to be close and to touch me, telegraphing his desire to deepen our relationship. I wouldn't let him kiss me and did my best to disguise how much his touch affected me. His fingers grazed my upper arm and I felt it all the way to the soles of my feet.

I had it bad, but I'd had similar feelings when dating Jayson and something close to that with James. I wasn't doing this again and avoided him as much as I could, which he went out of his way to make difficult.

On Friday, just one day before his parents' arrival, I did my best to encourage him through text messages and a brief phone chat. Although he didn't specifically mention it, I knew the counselor had helped him prepare for this meeting.

Saturday I left Nick to spend time alone with his mom and dad. We agreed I would make a showing Sunday afternoon without setting a specific time. I wanted to be sure Nick and his parents had ample opportunity to talk before I arrived. I was anxiously awaiting Nick's text following church on Sunday. It came earlier than I expected.

Where R U?

At the inn. U ready for me?

YES.

I smiled and headed out. Jo Marie was busy getting Mark settled. The drive from the hospital had exhausted him, and he'd spent most of Saturday in his room on the bottom floor. This afternoon she'd helped him onto the deck so he could sit in the warm sunshine. I knew after spending literally weeks in the hospital how good it must feel to breathe in fresh, clean air and look out over that amazing view of the Olympic mountain range. Sun, sea, and sky were as good as any medicine.

“I'm leaving now,” I told her.

Jo Marie knew the significance of this meeting for Nick. While she was concerned for me, she worried about Nick, too.

“I want a full report once you're back.”

“You'll get it,” I promised her.

Walking the few short blocks to Bethel Street, I was greeted by Elvis, who let out a welcoming bark when I came into view. His tail went into action, letting me know how pleased he was to see me. The feeling was mutual. I'd come to love this guard dog, although it was questionable as to how much of a guard he actually was.

Apparently hearing Elvis, Nick walked onto the porch. His relief was clear as his eyes met mine as I headed up the walkway. That one look, the bright way in which his eyes shone, told me the conversation with his parents had gone well. My relief was instantaneous. Nick reached for my hand, his fingers curling around mine, and led me inside the kitchen. His parents sat at the kitchen table.

Right away his father stood.

“Mom, Dad this is Emily…Em.”

Stepping forward, I extended my hand. “Emily Gaffney,” I said.

“Chuck,” Nick's father said, “and my wife, Marie.”

It wasn't hard to see the family resemblance. Chuck was over six feet, with broad shoulders and thick dark hair just like Nick. From our conversations I knew he was involved in the lumber industry and had retired a few years back. His mother had been a nurse and she, too, had recently retired.

“I'm pleased to meet you both,” I said.

Nick pulled out a chair for me to sit and then took the seat next to me. He reached for my hand. I'd rather he hadn't, but I wouldn't embarrass him or myself by pulling it free of his hold.

“Nick's told us a lot about you,” his mother commented. Her eyes were warm and kind but carried a deep pain. “We're grateful for all you've done for our son.”

I glanced at Nick, wondering exactly what he'd told them.

He offered me a reassuring smile.

“Hard to understand why a pretty gal like you has never married,” Chuck said.

My breath froze in my lungs. It wasn't as if I hadn't heard this before. People in my parents' generation seemed to think every woman needed a husband. To be fair, I'd wanted that, too, wanted the husband and the family.

“We were hoping to meet you,” Marie continued in a soft, cultured voice.

“To thank you,” Chuck added.

“Thank me?” I swiveled my attention to Nick's father.

“Nick tells me you've convinced him to talk to a counselor.”

“Yes, his first appointment was this week. His next one is Monday and then again on Friday.” Although Nick hadn't been keen to continue after that first session, he'd agreed to follow through. I knew it was hard scraping open a wound that had only started to heal, but it was necessary.

“You've been a tremendous help to Nick,” Marie continued. “He's been singing your praises ever since we arrived. We're grateful you've given our son the courage to face the future.” Her voice wobbled as she struggled with emotion, but she righted it and didn't allow it to overtake her.

“Nick explained that meeting you this summer has made a big difference,” his father added.

“I…I don't know what Nick told you,” I said, feeling it was important to correct any misunderstanding, “but I've done very little.”

“Nick needs someone like you,” Marie continued. “You're exactly the kind of woman I'd hoped he'd find.”

My gaze shot to Nick. I didn't know what he'd said, but from the gist of the conversation it sounded as if he'd made our relationship sound far more serious than it was, than I intended.

“Son, show me that electrical panel again, would you?”

This was a blatant attempt to get me alone with Marie.

Nick reluctantly stood, his eyes on me. I gave him a small smile, assuring him all was well and he need not worry.

As soon as the two men were out of the room, I spoke first. “I have a feeling Nick implied there was more between us than there is. We're friends and that's all it's likely to be.”

Marie's face fell. “Not according to Nick.”

“Yes, well…”

“He's falling in love with you, Emily. Surely you know that.” She wore a wounded look, as if I'd dashed her hopes. “He told us how everything changed after he met you and how good you've been for him and how you've helped him. Once we'd cleared the air about what happened that awful night with Brad, you were all Nick talked about.” She paused and then added in a low, wounded voice, “Please, don't hurt him. Nick is in a fragile place.”

“So am I,” I told her. We'd both had a year. A year since Brad died and a year since James saw Katie again.

“Ah,” she murmured, “that explains it.”

“Explains what?” I asked, raising my head and straightening my shoulders.

“What drew the two of you to each other.”

I could argue but didn't. Following what had happened with Jayson's mother, I felt it was necessary to explain my situation before she started dreaming of Nick and me together, giving her grandbabies to cuddle and love.

“You should know something about me,” I said, and wondered if three tiny lines had appeared between my eyes the way Nick claimed they did when I was nervous.

Marie leaned forward and pressed her hand over mine. “I already know. Nick told us.”

“He told you I'm infertile?” I bristled. This was private information, which I'd shared with relatively few.

“Don't be upset with him.”

“He told me—”

“I know what he said,” Marie interrupted. “He told us that it originally shook him, too, but he has since decided it doesn't matter. If your relationship progresses to the point you want to make a serious commitment, then you can always adopt. That was Brad's plan from the first. There are far too many children who need a loving home, and you're a loving person.”

Nick and his father returned and I was sorry to see them. I wished Marie and I had had more time to talk.

“Honey, look at the time. We need to get on the road if we're going to make it to Salem by nightfall.”

Marie glanced at her wrist. “My goodness, the afternoon's gotten away from us, but we couldn't leave without meeting you, Emily, and thanking you.”

“We have a long drive ahead of us,” Chuck explained to me.

Marie took the empty coffee mugs and set them inside the kitchen sink and paused to look around the room. “Nick told us you helped choose the colors in the kitchen and a couple of the bedrooms. It really looks nice.”

“You've done a good job with the renovations,” Chuck added and slapped his son across the back.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Marie gathered her purse and impulsively hugged me. “I don't think you understand all you've done to help Nick,” she whispered, and added a gentle squeeze. “I feel like we have our son back and I know you had a great deal to do with that.”

Nick and I walked his parents out of the house and then stood on the porch as they climbed into the car. Nick wrapped his arm around my waist and kept me close to his side. He waved as his father backed out of the driveway.

I waited until they were out of sight. “Nick, what did you tell your parents about us?”

His grin was as big as I've ever seen it. “I told them how I felt about you and that I hoped we could be a couple. I told them that in many ways you've saved me. Without you I don't know if I'd have found the courage to continue. I might easily have decided to bury myself inside this house and leave only when absolutely necessary. I told them you've suffered disappointments when it came to men and marriage.”

“You didn't.” I pressed both hands over my face. “And you told them why, too, didn't you?”

He hesitated and then admitted it. “I did.”

“Oh Nick, I wish you hadn't.”

“It's part of the healing process, Em. An important part. Healing for you and for me.”

I sat down on the top step of the porch and Nick joined me. Wanting to turn the conversation away from me, I asked him how the conversation had gone with his parents. “You squared things with your family about Brad and the accident?”

I felt Nick tense at the question. “We were able to talk openly and freely for the first time since the funeral.” He wiped his hand down his face. “Truly, I don't remember a lot about Brad's services.”

“It was the shock and the grief.”

“In part, yes, but I was drunk out of my mind. It was the only way I could get through the day.”

“Oh Nick.” I placed my hand on his forearm, experiencing the need to touch him.

“It wasn't one of my finer moments.”

I could only begin to imagine his personal agony. He placed his hand over mine and we intertwined our fingers. He raised my hand to his mouth and kissed the back. “I don't know that it's possible to forgive myself for what happened to Brad. What I do know is that since meeting you I feel that I can move forward. The panic attacks aren't as frequent, and I find I can sleep most nights now.”

His fingers tightened over mine, although I was convinced he didn't realize what he was doing.

“I can talk to my parents now, and as little as three months ago that wouldn't have been possible. I think my mother said it best. She told me Brad would be the first one to want me to have a good life.” He swallowed hard, and I knew telling me this was difficult for him. “I wish you'd known him, Em. He was the best brother anyone could ever ask for. His heart was huge and he loved kids. Really loved kids and they felt that and loved him back.”