Switched (3 page)

The biggest difference between real life and what films had taught me is that nobody actually danced. A group of girls stood directly in front of the stage, swooning at the lead singer, but otherwise, the floor was mostly empty.

People sat scattered all over the bleachers, and I attempted to fit in, so I sat on the first row. I kicked off my shoes immediately, because for the most part, I hate shoes. With nothing else to do, I resorted to people watching. As the night wore on, I found myself feeling increasingly lonely and bored.

Kids had actually started dancing as the gymnasium filled up, and the band moved onto some kind of Tears For Fears medley. I had decided that I’d been here long enough, and I planned on making my escape when Finn finally pushed through the doors.

Wearing a slim-fitting black dress shirt and dark jeans, he looked good. He had the sleeves rolled up and an extra button undone on his shirt, and I wondered why I had never realized how attractive he looked before.

His eyes met mine, and he walked over to me, surprising me with his obvious attempts at interaction. As often as he seemed to be watching me, he never initiated contact with me. Not even today, when he’d walked past my house.

“I didn’t peg you for the dancing kind,” Finn commented when he reached me.

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” I said, and he shrugged.

Finn sat down on the bleachers next to me, and I sat up a bit straighter. He glanced over at me but didn’t say anything. Already, he looked annoyed and he’d just gotten here. An awkward silence settled over us, and I hurried to fill it.

“You arrived awfully late to the dance. Couldn’t decide what to wear?” I teased.

“I had stuff with work,” Finn explained vaguely

“Oh? Do you work somewhere near my house?” I asked, plundering on ahead with this failed conversation.

“Something like that,” Finn sighed. Eager to change the subject, he looked over at me. “Have you been dancing?”

“Nope,” I said. “Dancing is for suckers.”

“Is that why you came to a dance?” Finn looked down at my bare feet. “You didn’t wear the right shoes for dancing. You didn’t even wear the right shoes for walking.”

“I don’t like shoes,” I told him defensively. My hem landed above my knees, but I tried to pull it down, as if I could get it to cover my bare feet embarrassment.

Finn gave me a look I couldn’t read at all, then went back to staring at the people dancing out in front of us. By now, the floor was almost entirely covered. Kids still dotted the bleachers, but they were mostly the headgear kids and the ones with dandruff.

“So this is what you’re doing? Watching other people dance?” Finn asked.

“I guess,” I shrugged.

Finn leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and I moved so I sat up straighter. My dress was strapless, and I rubbed at my bare arms, feeling naked and uncomfortable.

“You cold?” Finn glanced over at me, and I shook my head. “I think it’s cold in here.”

“It’s a little chilly,” I admitted. “But nothing I can’t handle.”

Finn would barely look at me, which was a complete 180 from his constant creepy staring. Somehow, I found this worse. I don’t know why he had even come to the dance if he hated it so much, and I was about to ask him that when he turned to look at me.

“You wanna dance?” Finn asked me flatly.

“Are you asking me to dance with you?”

“Yeah,” Finn shrugged.

“Yeah?” I shrugged sarcastically. “You really know how to sweet talk a girl.”

His mouth crept up in his hint of a smile, and that officially won me over, the way it always did. I hated myself for it.

“Fair enough.” Finn stood up and extended his hand to me. “Would you, Wendy Everly, care to dance with me?”

“Sure.” I placed my hand in his, trying to ignore how warm his skin felt and the rapid beating of my own heart, and got to my feet.

Naturally, the band had just started playing “If You Leave” by OMD, making me feel like I had walked into a perfect movie moment. Finn led me to the dance floor, and he placed his hand on the small of my back. I put one hand on his shoulder, and he held my other hand.

 I was so close to him, I could feel the delicious heat radiating from his body. His eyes were the darkest eyes I had ever seen, and they were looking at only me. For one unspoiled minute, everything in life felt perfect in a way that it never had before. Like there should be a spotlight on us and we were the only two people in the world.

Then something changed in Finn’s expression, something I couldn’t read, but it definitely got darker.

“You’re not a very good dancer,” Finn commented in that emotionless way he did.

“Thanks?” I said unsurely. We were mostly just swaying in a small circle, and I wasn’t sure how I could screw that up, and we seemed to be dancing the exact same way as everyone else. Maybe he was joking, so I tried to sound playful when I said, “You’re not that great yourself.”

“I’m a wonderful dancer,” Finn replied matter-of-factly. “I just need a better partner.”

“Okay.” I stopped looking up at him and stared straight ahead over his shoulder. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Why do you need to say anything to that? It’s not necessary for you to speak incessantly. Although, I’m not sure you’ve realized that yet.” Finn’s tone had gotten icy, but I still danced with him because I couldn’t come up with enough sense to walk away.

“I’ve barely said anything. I’ve just been dancing with you.” I swallowed hard and didn’t appreciate how crushed I felt. “And you asked me to dance! It’s not like you’re doing me a favor.”

“Oh come on,” Finn disparaged me with an exaggerated eye roll. “The desperation was coming off you in waves. You were all but begging to dance with me. I
am
doing you a favor.”

“Wow.” I stepped back from him, feeling confused tears threatening and this awful pain growing inside of me. “I don’t know what I did to you!” His expression softened, but it was too late.

“Wendy-”

“No!” I cut him off. I had started shouting, and everyone around us had stopped dancing to stare at us, but I didn’t care. “You are a total dick!”

“Wendy!” Finn repeated, but I turned and hurried through the crowd.

There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to get out of there. Patrick, a kid from biology class, stood by the punch bowl, and I rushed over to him. We weren’t friends, but he’d been one of the few kids here that had been nice to me. When he saw me, he looked confused and concerned, but at least I had his attention.

“I want to leave.
Now
,” I hissed at Patrick.

“What-” Before Patrick could ask what happened, Finn appeared at my side.

“Look, Wendy, I’m sorry,” Finn apologized sincerely, which only pissed me off more.

“I don’t wanna hear anything from you!” I snapped and refused to look at him. Patrick looked back and forth between the two of us, trying to decipher what was going on.

“Wendy,” Finn floundered. “I didn’t mean-”

“I said I don’t want to hear it!” I glared at him, but only for a second

“Maybe you should let the guy apologize,” Patrick suggested gently.

“No, I shouldn’t.” Then, like a small child, I stomped my foot. “I want to go!”

Finn stood just to the side of us, watching me intently. I clenched my fists and looked at Patrick directly in his eyes. I didn’t like doing this when people watched, but I had to get out of here. I kept chanting what I wanted over and over in my head.
I want to go home, just take me home, please, please, just take me home. I can’t be here anymore.

Patrick’s expression started to change. His face relaxed and got faraway. Blinking, he just stared blankly at me for a minute.

“I think I should just take you home,” Patrick said groggily.

“What did you just do?” Finn asked, narrowing his eyes. 

My heart stopped beating, and for one terrifying second, I was certain he’d know what I’d done. But then I realized that’d be impossible, so I shook it off.

“I didn’t do anything!” I snapped and looked back at Patrick. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Wendy!” Finn asked, giving me a hard look. “Do you even know what you just did?”

“I didn’t do anything!” I insisted, and I refused to talk about it anymore.

I grabbed Patrick’s wrist, dragging him towards the exit, and much to my relief, Finn didn’t follow. In the car, Patrick tried to ask me what had happened with Finn, but I wouldn’t talk about it. He drove around for awhile so I was reasonably calm by the time I went home, and I couldn’t thank him enough for it.

Matt and Maggie were waiting by the door for me, but I barely said a word to them. That freaked out Matt, who started threatening to kill every boy at the dance, but I managed to reassure him that I was fine and nothing bad had happened. Finally, he let me go up to my room, where I proceeded to throw myself onto the bed and not cry.

The night swirled in my head like some bizarre dream. I couldn’t get a read on the way I felt about Finn. Most of the time, he seemed weird and bordering on creepy. But then we had that glorious moment where we danced together, before he completely shattered it.

Even now, after the way he’d treated me, I couldn’t shake how wonderful it had felt being in his arms like that. In general, I never liked being touched or being close to people, but I loved the way I had felt with him.

His hand strong and warm pressing on the small of my back and the soft heat that flowed from him. When he had looked at me then, so sincerely, I had thought…

I don’t know what I thought, but it turned out to be a lie.

Strangest of all, he seemed to be able to tell that I had done something to Patrick. I didn’t know how anyone could know. I wasn’t even sure that I was doing it. But a normal, sane person wouldn’t even suspect that I could do that.

I could suddenly explain all Finn’s odd behavior; he was completely insane.

What it came down to is that I knew nothing about him. I could barely tell when he was mocking me and when he was being sincere. Sometimes I thought he was into me, and other times he obviously hated me.

There wasn’t anything I knew about him for sure. Except that despite everything, I think I was starting to like him. 

Sometime in the night, after I had changed into sweats and a tank top, and after I had spent a very long time tossing and turning, I must’ve finally fallen asleep. When I woke up, it was still dark out, and I had drying tears on my cheeks. I had been crying in my sleep, which seemed unfair since I never let myself cry when I was awake.

I rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. Its angry numbers declared it was a little after three in the morning, and I wasn’t sure why I was awake. I flicked on my bedside lamp, casting everything in a warm glow, and I saw something that scared me so badly, my heart stopped.

3. Stalker

A figure was crouched out my window, my
second story
window. Admittedly, a small roof is right outside of it, but that’s not exactly the thing I expected to see. On top of that, it wasn’t just anybody.

Finn Holmes looked hopeful, but not at all ashamed or frightened at having been caught peeping into my room. In fact, he knocked gently at the glass, and belatedly, I realized that’s what had woke me up.

He hadn’t been peeping intentionally; he’d been trying to sneak into my room. So that was
slightly
less creepy, I supposed.

For some reason, I got up and went over to the window. I caught sight of myself in my mirror, and I did not look good. My pajamas were of the sad, comfy variety. My hair was a total mess, and my eyes were red and puffy.

I knew I shouldn’t even let Finn in my room. He was probably a sociopath and he didn’t make me feel good about myself. Besides, Matt would kill us both if he caught him in here.

So, I stood in front of the window, my arms crossed, and glared at him. I was pissed off and hurt, and I wanted him to know it. Normally, I prided myself on not getting hurt, let alone telling people if they had hurt me. But this time, I thought it would be better if he knew that he was a dick.

“I’m sorry!” Finn talked so his voice would carry through the glass, and his eyes echoed the sentiment. He looked genuinely remorseful, but I wasn’t ready to accept his apology yet. Maybe I never would.

“What do you want?” I demanded as loudly as I could without Matt hearing me.

“To apologize. And to talk to you.” Finn looked earnestly at me. “It’s important.” I chewed my lip, debating between what I knew I should do and what I really wanted to do. “Please.”

Against my better judgment, I opened the window. I left the screen in so he could deal with that, and took a step back so I was sitting on the end of my bed. Finn pulled the screen out easily, and I wondered how much experience he had with sneaking in girls’ windows.

Carefully, he climbed into my room, shutting the window behind him. He glanced over my room, making me feel self-conscious. It was rather messy, with clothes and books strewn about, but most of my stuff sat in two large cardboard boxes and a trunk on one side of my room.

“So what did you want?” I said, trying to drag his attention back to me instead of inspecting my things.

“I’m sorry,” Finn repeated, with that same sincerity he had outside. “Tonight I was cruel.” He looked away thoughtfully before continuing. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“So why did you?” I asked sharply.

Licking his lips, he shifted and exhaled deeply. He had intentionally been mean to me. It wasn’t some accident because he was cocky or unaware of how he treated people. Everything he did felt meticulous and purposeful.

“I don’t want to lie to you, and I promise you that I haven’t,” Finn answered carefully. “And I’ll leave it at that.”

“I think I have a right to know what’s going on,” I snapped, and then remembered that Matt and Maggie were sleeping down the hall and hastily lowered my voice.

“I came here to tell you,” Finn assured me. “To explain everything. This isn’t the way we normally do things, so I had to make a phone call before I came to see you. I was trying to figure things out. That’s why it’s so late. I’m sorry.”