Switched (7 page)

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I forced a smile at him.

“Good.” He pulled back out in traffic, continuing the drive home.

As much as I had inconvenienced Matt and Maggie, it would break their hearts if I left. Even if going with Finn would be more promising, it would hurt them too much. Leaving would put my needs in front of theirs. So if I stayed, I put them before me.

Staying would be my only proof that I wasn’t evil. 

When we got home, I went up to my room before Maggie could try to talk to me. My room felt too quiet, so I went over to my iPod and started scrolling through songs. A light tapping sound startled me from my search, and my heart skipped a beat.

I walked over to my window, and when I pulled back the curtain, there was Finn, crouched on the roof outside. I considered closing the curtain and ignoring him, but his dark eyes were too much. Besides, this would give me a chance to say a proper goodbye.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked as I soon as I opened the window. He stayed out on the roof, but I hadn’t moved back so he could come in.

“What are
you
doing?” I countered, crossing my arms on my chest.

“I came to make sure you’re alright,” he asked, looking at me seriously.

“Why wouldn’t I be alright?” I asked.

“It was just a feeling I had.” He avoided my gaze and glanced behind him at a man walking his dog on the sidewalk, then looked at me. “Mind if I come in so we can finish this conversation?”

“Whatever.”

I took a step back and tried to seem as indifferent as possible, but when he slid in the window past me, my heartbeat sped up. He stood right in front of me, looking down in my eyes, and he made the rest of the world disappear. I shook my head and stepped away from him, so I wouldn’t let myself get mesmerized by him anymore.

“Why did you come in the window?” I asked.

“I couldn’t very well come to the door. That guy would never let me in here to see you,” Finn reasoned, and he was probably right. Matt had decided he hated Finn ever since the dance. 

“That
guy
is my brother, and his name is Matt.” I felt incredibly defensive and protective of him, especially after the way he reacted after we saw Kim. 

“He’s not your brother. You need to stop thinking of him like that.” Finn cast a disparaging look around my room. “Is that what this is all about? This is why you won’t leave?”

“You couldn’t possibly understand my reasons.” I went over and sat on my bed, trying to make a physical point of laying claim to this space.

“What happened tonight?” Finn asked, ignoring my attempts at defiance.

“How are you so certain something happened?”

“You were gone,” he said, without any fear that I might find it disturbing that he knew about my comings and goings. It didn’t, and it shouldn’t even have surprised me that he knew.

“I saw my mother. Er, well… the woman who is supposed to be my mother.” I shook my head, hating the way this all sounded. I considered lying to him, but he already knew more about all of this than anyone. “What do you call her? Is there a name for her?”

“Usually, her name will suffice,” Finn replied, and I felt like an idiot.

“Yeah. Of course.” I took a deep breath. “Anyway I went and saw Kim.” I looked up at him. “Do you know about her? I mean… how much do you really know about me?”

“Honestly, not that much.” Finn seemed to disapprove of his own lack of knowledge. “You were incredibly elusive. It was rather disconcerting.”

“So you don’t…” I trailed off, realizing with dismay that I was on the verge of tears. “She knew I wasn’t her daughter. When I was six, she tried to kill me. She had always told me that I was a monster, that I was evil. And I guess I had always believed her.”

“You’re not evil,” Finn insisted earnestly, and I smiled thinly at him, swallowing back my sadness. “You can’t possibly stay here, Wendy.”

“It’s not like that anymore,” I shook my head, looking away from him. “She doesn’t live here, and my brother and my aunt would do anything for me. I can’t just leave them. I won’t.”

Finn eyed me up, trying to decide if I was serious. I hated how attractive he was and whatever power it was he held over me. Just the way he looked at me made my heart race and my stomach flip.

“Do you realize what you’re giving up?” Finn asked softly. “There is so much that life has to offer you. More than anything they can give you here. If Matt understood what was in store for you, he would send you there himself.”

“You’re right. He would, if he thought it was what’s best for me,” I admitted. “Which is why I have to stay.”

“You think I don’t want what’s best for you?” Finn questioned with an underlying affection that shivered through me. “Do you really believe I would encourage you to do this if it would adversely affect you?”

“I don’t think you know what’s best for me,” I replied as evenly as I could.

He had thrown me off guard by hinting at caring about me, and I had to remind myself that that was part of his job. All of this was. He needed to make sure I was safe and convince me to get home. That wasn’t the same as actually caring about
me
.

 “You are sure this is what you want?” Finn asked gently.

“Absolutely.” But I sounded more confident than I really was. 

“I’d like to say that I understood, but I don’t.” Finn sighed resignedly. “I can say that I am disappointed.”

“I’m sorry,” I said meekly.

“You shouldn’t be sorry.” He ran a hand through his black hair and looked at me again. “I won’t be going to school anymore. It seems unnecessary, and I don’t want to disturb your studies. You should at least get an education.”

“What? Don’t you need one?” My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach as I realized that this might be the last time I saw Finn.

“Wendy,” Finn gave a small humorless laugh. “I thought you knew. I’m twenty-years-old. I’m done with my education.”

“Why were you…” I trailed off, already figuring out the answer to my question.

“I was only there to keep track of you, and I’ve found you.” Finn dropped his eyes and sighed. “When you change your mind…” He hesitated for a moment. “I’ll find you.”

“You’re leaving?” I asked, but it made sense.

“You’re still here, so I am too. At least for awhile,” Finn explained.

“How long?”

“It depends on things.” Finn shook his head. “Everything about your situation is so different. It’s hard to say anything with certainty.”

“You keep saying that I’m different. What does that mean? What are you talking about?”

“We usually wait until changelings are a few years older, and by then, you’ve already figured out that you’re not human,” Finn explained. “When the tracker comes to find you, you’re relieved and eager to go.”

“So why did you come for me now?” I asked.

“You moved so much.” Finn gestured to the house. “We were afraid that something might be the matter. So I was here, monitoring you until you were ready, and I thought you might be.” He exhaled deeply. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Can’t you just ‘persuade’ me to go along?” I asked, and some part of me hoped he could. I really did want to go with him. 

“I can’t,” Finn shook his head. “I can’t force you to come with me. If this is your decision, then I’ll have to respect it.”

I was turning down any chance at getting to know my real parents, my family history, and spending more time with Finn. Not to mention my abilities, like persuasion, which Finn had promised there would be more of as I got older. On my own, I’m sure I’d never be able to master or understand them.

We looked at each other, and I wished he wasn’t so far away from me. I was wondering if it would be appropriate if we hugged when the door to my bedroom opened.

Matt had come in to check on me. As soon as he saw Finn, his eyes burned. Quickly, I jumped up, moving in front of Finn to block any attempts that Matt would have at killing him.

“Matt! It’s okay!” I held up my hands.

“It is not okay!” Matt growled coming into my room. “Who the hell is this?”

“Matt, please!” I put my hands on his chest, trying to push him back away from Finn, but it was like trying to push a brick wall. He reached over my shoulder, pointing at Finn as he yelled. I glanced back at Finn, and he just stared blankly at my brother.

“You have some nerve!” Matt shouted.. “She is seventeen-years-old! I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing in her room, but you’re never doing anything with her again!”

“Matt, please, stop!” I begged. “He was just saying goodbye!
Please
!”

“Perhaps you should listen to her,” Finn offered calmly.

His composure really pissed Matt off. He was yelling at Finn, and he wanted him to react. Matt’s night had been horrible, too, and he didn’t want some kid in here defiling me. Finn’s only reaction was to stand there, cool and collected, and Matt wanted him too scared to ever go near me again. 

Matt actually knocked me out of the way, and I fell backwards onto the floor. Finn’s eyes flashed darkly at that, and when Matt pushed him, Finn didn’t move an inch. He just glared down at my brother, and I knew that if they fought, Matt would be the one with a serious injury.

“Matt!” I jumped to my feet.

Already, I had started chanting
Leave my room. Leave my room. You need to calm down and get out of my room. Please
. I wasn’t sure how effective it would be if I weren’t looking at him, so I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn to me.

 He tried to look away instantly, but I caught him. I kept my eyes focused and just kept repeating it over and over in my head. Finally, his expression softened and his eyes glazed.

“I’m going to leave your room now,” Matt said robotically.

Much to my relief, he actually turned and walked out into the hall, closing the door behind him. I’m not sure if he walked any farther than that, or how much time I had, so I turned to Finn.

“You have to leave,” I insisted breathlessly, but his expression had changed to one of concern.

“Does he do that often?” Finn asked.

“What?” I had no idea what he was talking about, and I just wanted him to go before somebody got hurt. “What are you talking about?”

“He pushed you. He clearly has an anger problem.” Finn glared at the door Matt had left through. “He’s unstable. You shouldn’t stay here with him.”

“Yeah, well, you guys should be more careful who you leave babies with,” I muttered and went to the window. “I don’t know how much time we have so you need to go.”

“He probably won’t ever be able to come into your room again,” Finn said absently. “I’m serious, Wendy. I don’t want to leave you with him.”

“You don’t have much of a choice!” I felt exasperated and ran a hand through my hair. “Matt’s not usually like that, and he would never hurt me. He’s just had a
really
hard day, and he blames you for upsetting me, and he’s not wrong.” The panic was wearing away, and I realized that I had just used persuasion on Matt again, and I felt nauseous. “I
hate
doing that to him. It’s not fair and it’s not right.”

“I am sorry,” Finn looked at me sincerely. “I know you did that to protect him, and that’s my fault. I should’ve just backed down, but when he pushed you…” He shook his head. “My instincts just kicked in.”

“He’s not going to hurt me,” I promised.

“I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you.”

Finn glanced back at the door, and I could tell he really didn’t want to leave. When he looked back at me, he sighed heavily He was probably fighting the urge to throw me over his shoulder and take me with him. Instead, he climbed out the window and swung back down to the ground.

With that, he turned around the neighbors’ hedges and I couldn’t see him anymore. I kept looking after him, wishing that this didn’t mean I had to say goodbye to him. There were still doubts about what I’d be giving up, but I couldn’t do that to Matt.

The awful truth was that I was more than a little sad to see Finn go. Eventually, I shut the window and closed my curtains.

After Finn left, I found Matt sitting on the steps, looking bewildered and pissed off. He wanted to yell at me about Finn, but he couldn’t seem to understand exactly what had happened. The best I could get out of it is that he vowed to kill Finn if he ever came near me, and I pretended like I thought that was a reasonable thing to do.

The next day, school dragged on and on. It didn’t help that I found myself constantly looking around for Finn. Part of me kept insisting that the last few days had been a bad dream, and that Finn should still be here, staring at me like he always did.

On top of that, I kept feeling like I was being watched. My neck got that scratchy feeling it did when Finn stared at me for too long, but whenever I turned around, there wasn’t anybody there. At least not anybody worth noting.

At home, I felt distracted and ill at ease. I excused myself from supper early and went up to my room. I peered out my curtains, hoping to find Finn lurking around somewhere nearby, but no such luck. Every time I looked for him and didn’t find him, my heart hurt a little more.

I tossed and turned all night, trying to decide what to do. I didn’t know how much longer Finn would hang around. There could only be so much time he could devote to tracking me. Eventually, he’d have to move on and find someone else.

I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t like the idea of him moving on when I hadn’t.

Around five in the morning, I gave up entirely on sleep. I looked out the window again, and this time I thought I saw something. He was out there, hiding nearby. I just needed to go out and talk to Finn, to make sure he was still there. I didn’t even bother changing out of my pajamas or fixing my hair.

Hastily, I climbed out onto the roof. I tried to grab onto the branch and swing to the ground like Finn had. As soon as my fingers grabbed the branch, they slipped off and I fell to the ground, landing heavily on my back. All the wind had been knocked out of me, and I coughed painfully.

 I would’ve loved to lie on the lawn for ten more minutes and try to ease the pain, but I was afraid that Matt or Maggie had heard something. I scrambled to my feet and rounded the hedges towards the neighbors’ house.