Take it All (Blinded by Love) (35 page)

He took a deep breath then sighed, “She’s... worried or something, about you, so talk to her will you.”

“Sure dad.”

“Thanks, I’ll talk to you later okay; have a good weekend at Caleb’s.”

“I will, talk to you later, love you.”

“Love you too, Chuck,”

Lennox hung up and got dressed before she made her way downstairs where her mom was sitting in the living room on the couch reading and listening to music. “Hey mom,” she said as she sat on the couch next to her.

Kelli bookmarked her spot then looked up, pushing her reading glasses up on top of her head, “Hey baby,” she smiled, “you off to work now?”

Lennox shook her head, “Nah, dad called, said I could have the day off.” She reached across to the coffee table and took the sports magazine off the table.

“Oh he did?”

“Yeah,” she said, distracted as she flipped through the magazine looking for the hockey article on her team making the playoffs, “something about paperwork and inventory.”

“Oh, well that’s nice; what’re you gonna do?”

“I don’t know, probably just chill until I head to Caleb’s.” She continued looking through the magazine, finding the article but hesitated as she noted her mom hadn’t said anything and looked up to see her looking at her with an unreadable look on her face. “What?”

Shaking her head, she said, “Nothing, never mind.”

“Mom, what is it?”

“It’s nothing– you hungry– I can make you some eggs or something.” She put her book down then started to get up off the couch.

“Mom, dad told me something’s up, now sit down and talk to me,” Lennox said sharply, more sharper than she intended to. Kelli looked at her with raised eyebrows, taken aback by her remark, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“I’m worried, Lennox.”

“What about mom?”

Kelli didn’t say anything as she moved on the couch and turned to face Lennox. “About you…you and Caleb,” she said truthfully, her face soft as she locked eyes with her.

“Mom,” she sighed.

“No, Lennox, I’ve noticed a change in you the last couple weeks. You seem stressed or on edge, something, talk to me,” she urged gently, as she reached across and tucked a piece of Lennox’s damp hair behind her ear.

“There’s nothing to talk about, mom, everything’s fine,” she only partially lied, not making eye contact with her.

Kelli watched her daughter sitting across from her, not looking at her and slightly fidgeting in her seat. “Are you...” she trailed off.

“Am I what, mom?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“What– no– mom, no,” she looked at Kelli horrified, “Caleb and I are protected, double protected,” Lennox said firmly, making it clear she was in fact not pregnant.

“Okay, good.”

“God, mom,” Lennox shook her head in disbelief.

“Lennox, I was just asking; you’re so defensive, are you on drugs or something? Is that why your behaviour is all over the place?”

Lennox froze in her spot, and looked at her mom, her mouth gaped open wanting to speak but her brain wasn’t sure what to say. She closed her mouth and swallowed, her nerves shooting to the surface making her mouth dry and heart start beating faster. “Well, are you?”

Lennox shook her head slowly, her lips moving and making a small sounding, “No.”

“Are you sure–”

“Yes,” she said louder, her tone firm, “I’m not on drugs. I can’t believe you’d ask me that.” Lennox stood up from the couch and started to walk out of the room on the verge of tears, hating she couldn’t open up to her mom about Caleb. She could talk to her mom about anything except this particular thing; she couldn’t do it, she didn’t want to do it, and even if she wanted to she would never be able to find the words or the courage to get them out.

“Lennox, get back here, you have to understand that–”

“No,” she shouted, “I understand just fine. I have a boyfriend now, a boyfriend I spend a lot of time with so I’m not around much, a boyfriend I love– yes I love him in case you were wondering– It’s a change, a big one–”

“Lennox, calm down–”

“No, I won’t calm down! I have a boyfriend now and I show changes in how I act or whatever the hell it is, you think I’m pregnant or on drugs– drugs– mom, it’s such a bad thing for me to show any kind of change, that it automatically mean’s I’m smoking the
janga
, and that Caleb would subject me to that stuff,” she exclaimed, her vision blurred by the tears as she threw her hands in the air before she collapsed in the chair next to her.

Lennox sat in the chair, her heart pounding in her chest not knowing where the outburst came from but she felt horrible for yelling at her mom like she did; she had never talked to either of her parents like that before. She couldn’t look at her mom, who was still sitting on the couch across from her, stunned, clearly having no idea where the outburst came from. After a few moments, Lennox watched as her mom got off the couch and walked over to where she was sitting and sat on the armrest and wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her into her. At her mom’s touch, she instantly turned into her and wrapped her arms around her waist and buried her face into her stomach. “I’m sorry mom,” she said through the tears.

“It’s okay sweetie, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was accusing you,” she dipped her head down and kissed the top of Lennox’s head. “I get it though, this thing with Caleb is a big change, a wonderful change, guess I just forgot and saw your mood changes and panicked.”

“Why’d you panic?” Lennox mumbled.

Kelli sighed, “Just saw a repeat of your cousin all over again.”

Lennox pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks as she cleared her throat, “What um, you know, what happened to Rachel back then?” she asked curious, not knowing everything that had happened.

“She had an addiction, to meth and it just got bad, honey.”

Biting her lip then releasing it just as quick, she asked, “How? What happened, you’ve never told me.”

Her mom looked down at her and brushed the hair off her face. “She was friends with the wrong people and they experimented with meth and she was instantly hooked. Your aunt sent her off to rehab for help but when she got back she thought she could be around those friends again but, they did what those types of people do, they took her back down and she never came back up.” Her mom’s face was a little sullen at the memories but shook them off and looked at Lennox with a sad smile, “The thing is, with drug addicts, you can’t save or help them if they don’t want it. Sure, you send them to get help and they may go but if it’s not what they want, it won’t last; they’re only doing it for you and not the one person they should be doing it for and that person’s themself. That’s what happened to Rachel I think, the first time she wanted the help, thought she was strong enough to be around it again but it called for her and once that happened it was all she wanted; nothing else mattered.”

“What happened to her?” her voice cracked.

“Last I heard she was gone, living somewhere with a guy who feeds her addiction.”

Lennox didn’t say anything as her mind was focused solely on Caleb and his addiction. She couldn’t help but think of what would happen if all of a sudden Caleb was gone; gone from her life and somewhere where no one would find him. The thought made everything go black. Caleb meant the world to her and the thought of him taking off like Rachel made everything black and hollow. “Lennox, you okay?” her mom asked, tilting her head and looking at her.

She shook the numbing thoughts away. “Yeah, just thinking about what auntie went through, that’s all,” Lennox said, covering the truth with a lie.

“It destroyed her, but she eventually made it through in the end,” Kelli’s smile was small and weak as she shrugged her shoulders, “some people, honey, are worth the fight and the hell they put you through while some sadly– regardless of it being family– aren’t.”

“Yeah,” she said softly, her mom’s words penetrating into her mind, self branding to her soul.

“You wanna go out, go do some shopping and grab lunch?” her mom asked with a hopeful smile.

Lennox nodded, needing to get out and get her mind off drugs and addiction and the ramifications they presented. There were things she never really considered or thought of until talking to her mom about Rachel. There had been things she wanted to talk to Caleb about but hadn’t brought them up in fear but there was a gut clenching feeling that told her she was going to have to move past that fear and bring everything up and either accept his answers or not; if not then she was going to have to walk away from him.

After spending the day shopping with her mom and then going for lunch, Lennox got home and crashed on the couch until her cell phone ringing on the end table by her head woke her up. “Hello?” she said, still half asleep and sounding groggy.

“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere?” Caleb’s voice floated through the phone teasingly.

Lennox’s eyes peeked open as she looked at the clock on the cable box; the red numbers flashed six twenty five. “Oh shit,” she exclaimed, bolting up and scrambling off the couch, “I fell asleep when I got home, I’m sorry,” she hurried up the stairs to her room.

“Babe, it’s fine, I was just worried when you didn’t show at six,” he blew out a mouthful of smoke, “take your time, get here when you get here, and drive safe.”

“I’ll be leaving in five,” she said as she zipped her bag she left on the bed and grabbed her purse and coat off the hook she had on her wall behind her door.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “I’ll be here when you get here, just drive safe, and love you.”

“Love you too,” she paused to take a breath as she continued, “What do you wanna do for dinner?”

“Already got it covered, I’ll see you soon.”

“‘Kay,” she said and they disconnected. After making sure she had everything she needed, she grabbed her things then headed down the stairs, grabbed her flats she left by the door and left the house.

The drive to Caleb’s seemed to take forever as she got stopped at every red light along the way. By the time she pulled up to the house it was ten after seven and the place was lit up with every light. As she grabbed her things she hoped she wasn’t walking into a houseful of Caleb’s friends who would all be sitting around drinking and smoking. Walking up to the door, she didn’t hear any loud voices or music coming from inside so taking that as a good sign she turned the knob and pushed open the door and went inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

“Lox?” Caleb’s voice called from somewhere she couldn’t see.

Lennox left her coat on the chair by the door and dropped her car keys into her purse. “Yeah,” she called, walking into the house, finding him on the couch with a smoke hanging out of his mouth, his feet on the coffee table and a gaming controller in his hands while a guy she couldn’t quite place sat on the other side of the couch along with Emerson in his chair.

She set her bags down and walked up behind the couch as Caleb leaned back and looked up, grinning. Lennox bent over and kissed his lips softly then the side of his cheek but before she could stand his arms came up and over her head, locking over her shoulders; their faces inches apart. “Hi,” he said in a soft whisper voice, his eyes glowing.

Lennox smiled as her heart skipped. She had watched lots of movies where the guy, while making love to the girl, looked down at her and said hi. Nothing else, nothing more and it was one of the most romantic moments in that movie, a moment Lennox had always wanted to happen to her and though they weren’t making love at the time, it was just as, if not more, romantic then in the movies because it wasn’t being acted; it was real and from the heart. “Hi,” she said back, then kissed his nose and pulled away when his grip loosened around her.

“Get a room,” Emerson laughed from his chair, looking at them trying to hide the big grin that was spreading across his mouth. Caleb sat forward and grabbed his smoke from the ashtray and took a drag then sat back and went back to his game.

“Hi to you too, Em,” Lennox said, crouching down and wrapping her arms around Caleb’s neck, her hands resting flat against his upper chest. She looked at the guy sitting by Caleb, who was staring at the television intently, his fingers moving quickly over the controller. She tapped Caleb’s chest, then motioned to the guy when Caleb looked up at her then over at the guy.

“Lennox, this is Reed,” he tipped his head in his direction, “Reed, this is my girlfriend, Lennox.”

Lennox looked over at him smiling, “Hi, we met in passing once didn’t we?” she asked.

Reed looked over at her, “Yo, yeah I think so. I think Caleb had you over his shoulders or something,” he laughed, his eyes going back to the game.

“That would be it,” she said, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment. “Awesome.”

The room went silent as all guys were focused on the game, even Emerson who wasn’t playing. A few minutes went by then Reed gave Emerson the remote and stood up abruptly. “Gotta take a leak,” he announced then hopped over the couch and made his way down the hall. Lennox watched as his tall frame walked down the hall, his blue baseball cap on backwards and his jeans hanging low, his indie band tee sitting on the top of his jeans. He had almost the same frame as Caleb just with less defined arms and only one tribal tattoo around his forearm.