Take it Deep (Take 2) (33 page)

“I didn’t want to do this here, not like this.  I had it all planned.  I was going to take you to the Planetarium in DC and ask you there.  I don’t think I can wait any longer and I’m sorry
for that.”  He placed his hand in his pocket, trying to pull something out. 

“I’ve been carrying this around with me every single day for the last four months
, waiting and hoping for the right moment to ask you.”

I see the red velvet box and I nearly pass out.  I can’t believe he is finally going to ask me the one question I’ve been longing to hear.  I’m finally going to be his forever.  I wanted that more than anything, needed it more than fresh air.

He opens the box in front of me and I gasp again trying not to
let the tears flow.  I wanted to see the beautiful star diamond ring he had bought me.  It was a single diamond, not too big, but not small either.  It was perfect.  Jake knew I didn’t like it too extreme and he certainly compensated for that.  He couldn’t have picked a better ring.

“Ana ‘insubordinate’ Sinclair, the love of my life, my
reason to be.  You are my swan—”

“Barn Owl,” I interrupted. 

He raised that incredibly cute, but sexy eyebrow.  “Whatever,” he said, smiling cheekily.    “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be my wife, to have and to hold forever and ever?  I’ll promise to never let you go again, Ana and I mean it.  I want to give you the stars.”

I think I just about lost it, especially when the crowd was shouting, “Say yes,
say yes.” 

I looked deep into my man
’s eyes.  The man whose eyes I wanted to be the last eyes I saw when I went to sleep, and the first I saw when I woke up.  There couldn’t possibly be any other answer than, “Yes.”

Jake beamed and the crowd cheered as he placed that beautiful ring on my finger.  It was the
corniest and most beautiful proposal I had ever seen, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Jake finally rises and I jump into his a
rms savoring the sweet scent of his neck.  I felt delirious knowing I would get to smell that every day for the rest of my life.

We stood there for an age just holding each other in our arms, Jake carrying me like he always loves to.  He stared intently and I was
mesmerized by his beauty. Life couldn’t get much better than this.

“So what do you say, soon to be wife of mine, don’t you think it’s finally time I took you home now?”

I chuckled thinking of all the times he probably wished he could have said that to me.  Again, there was only one answer to that question.  “Yes please, soon to be husband of mine.  I can’t think of anything else I would want more right now.” 

He looked at me questioningly.
  “Are you sure about that,” he asked with a grin.

“Well, I’m sure there are some other things you could help me with
, but we’ll need to pick some ice cream up first,” I say cheekily.

“Oh baby, whatever you want.  I
t would be my pleasure.”

He wraps his arm around me so
he could carry me better.  I’m lying perfectly safe and cradled against his chest, as we head for the car.

I started thinking about how different the situation was from just an hour ago until now.  I was in the depths of despair, thinking of how I’m going to live my life without Jake permanently in it, and now I’m being cradled in his arms about to be his wife soon.
 

The journey between us was hard and at times people would have given up under normal circumstances, b
ut Jake and I always held firm.  No matter whether we were apart or not, we still had each other, as there couldn’t possibly be anyone else.  He was going to be my happily ever after.  My reason to take a breath, to take it deep.

My beautiful caveman, Jake.
 

Jake Bennett

Ana has just left the office and I’ll be damned if I’m going to find out what the hell’s been going on.  I make arrangements to leave early so I can follow her.  If she’s not going to tell me then drastic action has to be taken. 

It makes me feel sick to think that she may be carrying my child and going alone to an appointment without me.  Why couldn’t she tell me?  I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  She’s been so up and down with her
behavior lately and I could tell her body was changing.  It made my cock twitch just thinking about it.  She’s also been trying to dominate sex, which was as sexy as hell, but at the same time, I always want to be in control.  Of course, I always manage to take over in the end.  It just turns me on so much that I can make her feel the way she does.  The noises Ana makes when I’m inside her are like sweet heavenly bliss to my ears.  She always makes me come so hard.  Every time it’s like a bomb has gone off inside me and I can never seem to think straight after.  Ana could ask me anything and I’d give it to her.  I’d give it to her anyway.

I think about her having my baby and I smile.  It is sooner tha
n I would have wanted.  I was going to marry her first, do things properly.  But at the same time, I know I would be disappointed if I’m wrong about all of this.  She must be so scared and it tears me up to think about it.

The hours seem to pass by slower than a snail.  At one point I thought time was going backwards.  I couldn’t think about anything else apart from my precious Ana.  I was starting to think maybe I should just call her in the office and ask her, but it wasn’t the right time or place to discuss whether she’s pregnant or not.

At around three I kept a close eye on Ana.  I was watching her every move just in case she seemed to be getting ready to leave.  She looked like a frail child and the pain in my heart was all too much to take.  I wanted so much to go to her and tell her that I love her, take care of her.  If she’d let me of course.

Finally at three-
thirty she rose from her chair to leave.  I quickly ran back to my desk to grab my keys and set about following her.  I was so scared she would notice me, but she looked to be in another world.  Fuck, this was torture.

I follow a couple of cars behind on a short drive to Reston and sure enough she pulls into a parking lot a few yards away from a clinic.  My heart started racing as I watched her get out and walk the few steps up to the doors.  I tried to calm my breathing
, which by now was getting way out of control.  I gripped the steering wheel, wanting to shout at the rooftops that my Ana was carrying my child.  I was so happy, but also felt so sad that she couldn’t tell me.

I didn’t
realize my car was still stationary until a lady blasted her horn at me.  I waved my hand at her apologizing and she smiled.  Thankfully she wasn’t too mad at me for holding her up.

I find a space shortly after and switch the engine off.  I take a few moments wondering how I’m going to do this.  What if she doesn’t want me there?  It will hurt like hell if that’s the case, but I can’t leave her there alone to get on with all this by
herself.  I can tell her that I have a right to be there if that is what it takes.  I’m the father and should be there to hold her hand, comfort her and tell her everything will be okay.  At the same time I don’t want to come all caveman on her.  I’m not sure whether she really likes that side of me.  I just can’t help it at times. 

The last few months have been agony, especially since that night at the hotel.  I thought I had won her back.  I thought that she had forgiven me.  When I woke early in the morning to find she wasn’t there I nearly tore the room apart.  Instead I stayed and got hammered.  I wanted the
drink to erase her from my head, but it only brought visions of her scrambling through my brain.  I ended up drinking so much I passed out.  I wanted to be numb, wanted the pain to go away.  I had never felt torture like that in my life.

The memory of it all made me wonder if that was the night our baby was conceived.  If that’s the case I have a huge order of flowers to ring in
for Jessie when I get home later.  She was the one who made it all happen.  She was a good friend to Ana and I loved her for that.

I took a few deep breaths knowing that it was now or never and the latter would never do.
I lock up the car behind me and take a walk to the clinic door.  When I enter I see Ana with her head in her hands.  The pain that ran through me was enormous.  I never want her to ever feel alone like this.  There were a couple of other parents-to-be in the room and they all looked happy.  I wanted Ana to feel that way.  Looking at her broke my heart. 

I thought I would have to go to her, but then she sighed and looked up.  I thought my heart was going to stop when she looked at me with those beautiful sea-blue eyes of hers.  She gasped and gripped at her chest, she looked so frightened.  I needed to take that away from her
, just like any living creature needed sustenance.

“Jake, how did you—?” s
he asked, shocked.

“I followed you.  I knew something was going on.  I had my suspicions, but I had to check them out for myself.”

I was so happy to see that she didn’t look mad at me; in fact I thought I could see relief.

“You knew?” s
he asked, looking shocked.  God I loved this woman.

“I guessed by the way you’ve been acting lately
, and then there was the police function and you didn’t drink.  I’ve noticed you seem to have an ice cream fetish lately, among other things, but it was the no drinking that kind of confirmed it for me.  Why didn’t you tell me, Ana?”

I placed my hands on her shoulder and she looked down.  I could tell that the situation was upsetting her and quite frankly, having this conversation here was not the best place in the world.

I asked Ana to hold on and went to speak to the Receptionist.  “Excuse me, ma’am.  Is there somewhere a little more private we could go to?  I need to speak with my beautiful mom-to-be here.”  And boy was she beautiful, radiant even.

The lady smile
d and replied, “Of course dear.  Miss Sinclair’s OB/GYN should be here in about five minutes anyway.  Why don’t you pop into Dr Foster’s room and you can wait in there?  I apologize for the delay.”

I thank her and she leads the way to Dr Foster’s room.  I’m really hoping whoever this doctor is, isn’t going to be anything other than a female.  I don’t think I could take another man touching her in places I’m only allowed to.

I look over at Ana and she seemed so vulnerable sitting on the doctor's bed.

“Are you angry with me?” she asked,
timidly.

How can I ever really and truly be angry with
her?  She’s beautiful, kind and she’s carrying my child.

“Angry with you.
  Ana I’m so mad,” I reply.  She sinks her head down to the floor and my heart breaks that little bit more. 

“Madly in
love with you, Ana-Lucia Sinclair.”

I couldn’t hold on to it any longer.  I couldn’t play with her emotions like this, not when she is obviously so fragile.  She looks up meeting my
eyes; hers are full of hope, full of love.  I didn’t care where we were, I had to feel her lips on mine—those divine, sweet, blissful lips.  I had to have them on mine before I asked. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was scared, Jake.  More than scared, I was petrified.  I thought, you know, with what happened to you with Matthew and then Stella trying the same thing on you.  I was thinking you would assume I was trying to trap you.  You put your faith in me that I was using contraception, and I felt that I had betrayed you.  I was frightened that you were going to reject me.”

I took her face in my hands.  What she said made sense.  I made such a big drama out of using contraception
, it’s no wonder she had these doubts, but they were completely unfounded. 

“Ana, those other
times were different.  I was seventeen with Matthew, young and stupid.  I wasn’t in love with her, or Stella.  I was spending my whole life waiting for you.  I knew that the very first day I laid eyes on you in La Bistro.  You were and always will be my happily ever after.”

“Oh
, Jake,” she sobbed, placing her lips on mine again.  She was crying and I wanted nothing more than to stop her tears for her.  I’d walk on burning hot coals for this girl if she asked me to.  I was so immersed in her that I didn’t even realize that the doctor was behind us until she cleared her throat.