Take Me Home: Home is Where the Heat Is, Book 3 (5 page)

“Good.”

“No.” She needed to make herself perfectly clear here, or she’d be dealing with another cowboy like Nick. “I want you and what you can do for my sexual needs. I want you to eat me, fuck me, drive me insane with orgasms.”

“Done.” He smirked.

“What I don’t need is you reminding me of a past I walked away from.” She’d worked too hard and too long to make it big enough to go bigger. He needed to understand that even if grassroots and small-town values were where he came from, where she’d started out, she didn’t want to be there ever again. She wanted more. To be someone. To travel the world. To leave a mark. “Yes, I’ve become slightly impersonal. But understand this, Cash. That’s how it needs to be for me.”

He considered her carefully. “Explain.”

How was she supposed to do that? Jesus, her chest ached just thinking about her need to be someone special when her last marker was placed over her grave. Living paycheck to paycheck and killing themselves to make ends meet had slid her parents into early graves. She was the only one left to remember them. They were two in billions, with no legacy beyond a child. “Worded correctly, my story could be as sad as anyone’s in a big city where a nobody can get lost. Worded wrong, I sound like a spoiled brat out to experience the world, crying when the cards don’t fall my way. Which fiction do you want?”

“What I want—” he sat forward, leaning in to whisper in her ear, “—is the real you. We can go rounds, fucking, playing, doing whatever will satisfy you. I’m game. But I want you real. You have to share who you really are with me. I’m not into fucking blow-up dolls, manikins or patched-together surgical recreations. I’ve had my fair share of fake. I want real.”

“I could feed you any story.” She shifted back to meet his gaze. “How would you know the difference between the truth and lies?”

“Cardboard
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models do nothing for me, darling.” His lips touched her neck briefly. “Yeah, they’re pretty, but if a person looks too close, it’s easy to see that they’re empty shells. Their lives revolve around an end goal. That wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t willing to use people, sell their souls, alter everything nature gave them, to get there.”

Shawna shrugged. At one time, she would have agreed. Now? “I’ve been used too many times, so I understand why a person would behave that way. Sometimes a person needs to look out for numero uno. Sometimes a person has to do what they can to make their way.”

“Ah. Now that’s the real you, with an honest opinion.”

He trailed his knuckles down her cheek. At first, she thought he was trying to distract her. Didn’t matter that he was doing a hell of a job. “So now you agree with me?”

“No. Not at all.” He brushed her lips gently. “I just understand end goals.”

“What’s yours?”

“I can’t think of anything closer to heaven than having someone in my life that could make me believe in them so fiercely that I want to set aside every want or need I have just to make them happy.”

There was no hesitation in his answer. He meant it right down to his boots.

“That’s crazy.” Shawna blanched. “That kind of control is where heartbreak comes from. Being that invested in a person makes you settle for less than you want. Settling means always wondering. Wondering breeds discontent and resentment.”

“Ah. Now we’re getting somewhere.” He chuckled and sat back in his seat. “You act tough, but there’s all kinds of softness beneath your city mask. I like seeing the real you, whether I agree with you or not.”

Shawna didn’t know how to respond. She sat across from a hunk that could have just about any piece of tail he wanted, and he was telling her he wanted a happily ever after. Talk about a juxtaposition.

“So our end goals are different.” Not a huge surprise in her book. “What makes yours more acceptable than mine?”

“Nothing, except the using without giving. I can’t be around fake people with ulterior motives.”

His hand slid over her knee and Shawna shivered, more from what he expected from her than his actual touch. Most guys she knew looked for a quick affair with no ties. Hell, no names was a typical taste. Cash wanted more.

“You’re asking a lot,” she scolded. “What about you? Why is it so important I’m upfront? What skeleton keeps you from fucking every available piece of ass that’s been offered? Probably since you stepped out of the womb?”

For a long moment, she wondered if he’d answer. Then he took a deep breath and shifted in his seat to meet her gaze. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t like fake people. I’ve had to deal with them most of my life.” He paused as the limo pulled over at the curb to her apartment building. “This is your stop. I’ll tell you my story, now or later. Your choice.”

Chapter Seven

Cash waited.

It was a defining moment for her, considering she was in full protect-herself mode.

“You want to come up and talk?” she asked quietly, a hint of surprise in her voice.

“That’s about the size of it.” Her hands shook, and she gripped them together, placing them in her lap. He didn’t know what she was expecting, but he didn’t want her nervous, no matter where the night led. “It’s up to you.”

“I guess now is as good a time as any,” she said softly.

He nodded and rapped on the window. When Gio rolled it down, he shook the driver’s hand. “Tell yer wife she’s got people she don’t know thinking of her. And you hang in there.”

“Thanks. I’ll do that.” Gio smiled hugely and shifted to look at Shawna. “Will you call when I should pick him up?”

Cash watched her reactions carefully. Her eyes shimmered, achingly sad. “No, Gio. Take Nick back to his hotel and go spend some time with your wife. You can have the rest of the night off, with pay. I’ll get Cash a cab.”

She hurried out of the limo and stood on the cobblestone walkway while Cash climbed out. The limo pulled out into traffic and she just stood there, watching it drive away. After a long moment, she sighed. “How did I not know?”

“Know what?”

“That his wife was sick?”

Her tone was dark. Hell, he hadn’t meant to make her upset. “I only knew ’cause I was making conversation.”

“Yeah, of course you were.” She turned and walked up the steps to the apartment building. Searching through her purse, she blew out a slow breath. “Where the fuck are my keys?”

“Stop.” Cash grabbed her hands. “What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter?” She shook her purse. “I can’t find my keys. I can’t talk to the drivers because I’m always stuck in the backseat, plying beautiful, spoiled models with praise, or pulling them down off the ledge.”

She was on serious meltdown mode, and he wasn’t sure why. He grabbed her purse and jiggled it. “Slow down. They’re in there.”

“You find them,” she snapped. “And while you’re at it, could you maybe be a bit of an asshole or something.”

The statement and her request stopped him cold. “You’re gonna think I’m an asshole when I tell you to find ’em yerself. Gram would still be kickin’ my ass from her grave a hundred years from now if she heard I’d gone through a woman’s purse, even with permission.”

“What?” She looked at him like he’d grown a third eye.

“My gram.” He looked her square in the eye, making sure she understood there were lines he wouldn’t cross. Part of him hoped she’d understand he wasn’t just talking about Gram’s teachings. “She taught me there are ways to treat a lady. Love ’em hard, love ’em right. Hold her hand. Kiss her neck. For no reason, bring flowers. There’s too many for me to share. There was forbidden advice too. One of them was never go through a lady’s purse. If it’s in there for ya, she’ll get it.”

She stared at him with something close to disgust and snatched her bag back. “I don’t think you could be an ass if you wanted to. Even now, when I’m begging you to stop being so fucking nice so I don’t feel like such a cold bitch, you’re spouting off Gram’s gems of morality.”

“Would you like me if I was that guy?” He eased closer, baffled by what she expected. “If I was that man, would you have let me touch you at the shoot? Lick you until you came in the limo? Climbed into a car with me and trusted me to take you home?”

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Then he understood. She was used to dealing with a certain kind of man. More probable than not, she sought them out. She wanted the one-night I’ll-call-you-in-the-morning man. That way, she could walk away without guilt when he didn’t come through.

After a long moment, she sighed. “Probably not. But at least I’d know how to act.”

Damn, she was an intriguing blend of strength and softness. The fact that she was honest enough to come right out and ask him to be a jerk said so much about her. If she was the hard-ass fashion diva she claimed to be, she would have kicked his ass to the curb and looked for alternate entertainment. She hadn’t, and he felt a bit humbled. “I can be an ass.”

“Yeah?” She finally produced her keys and let them into the hallway. “Prove it.”

“How?” He wasn’t sure where this was leading, but he was willing to see. Her mind worked in mysterious ways.

When she stopped at the elevator, she pressed the up button and turned back to look at him. “You could start by not asking me all these weird sharing questions, spouting off your backwoods-boy charm, and telling me why you’re really coming up to my apartment.”

Well, lasso his ass. She’d just put him in one hell of a predicament. She backed into the elevator with a smirk. The door started to close and he grabbed it, waiting for it to slide open again before he stepped in. Her eyebrows scrunched, and she tipped her head slightly to study him.

“You’re not a bitch.”

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Not exactly asshole material.”

“You’re cold.” He took a step closer, searching for what she was really asking for as the elevator climbed. “In the limo earlier, I watched you melt. Every bit of you was hot and wet, and wanting more.”

“Definitely not asshole.” She sighed. “That was more like a hot psychologist a patient would want to fuck.”

Bingo. She was looking for just that. A fuck and nothing more. She was pushing for a jerk, and he had to play it out.

“Fine.” He pinned her up against the wall. “I’m here because I want to feel your pussy surround me. I want to feel that heat on my cock. I want to fuck you until you’re begging me to stop. And I think that’s what you want too. If that’s all you’re willing to give me, I’ll take it. Fuck it. When in New York…do as Yorkers do. ”

Then he kissed her, hard. He had to. There was no telling what would come out of her mouth next, and he got the feeling she didn’t want to talk anyway. As a matter of fact, he felt a bit manipulated. But with her body pressed close so he could feel every curve he’d been itching to touch, and her shaky breaths telling him she was as turned on as he was, he needed to let it go for now.

She broke away from the kiss. “If you weren’t saying all the things I want to hear, and I didn’t want you so bad right now, that might have passed for borderline asshole.”

He laughed as the elevator stopped. “I’ll tell you whatever you want as long as you leave those boots on.”

“What is it with you and these boots?”

He slapped her bottom, making sure not to hurt her but add just a twinge of discomfort. “They make me want to bend you over the next available surface and ride you until you scream.”

“Oh.”

Cash groaned. He was going to make an ass out of himself before the night was out. “The way your mouth just made that little O has me thinking asshole thoughts. You want details or is that close enough to asshole for the night?”

“Close enough,” she breathed.

“Good. Now hurry,” he demanded.

She rushed down the hall and tried to unlock the door to her apartment with shaky fingers. “Sorry.”

“If you fumble with those damn keys again I’m going to have you right here in the hallway.”

He took the keys and unlocked the door, only leaving enough room for her to rub against him as she passed. When she would have walked away, he pulled her back, forcing her against the door as he closed it. “Oh. No. You. Don’t.”

“Cash.” She sighed.

She may have started the game, but he was in full-on ground-and-pound mode. He had to have her. “Kiss me.”

She did, and there was no reluctance. Her tongue slid across his lower lip, and it was all the invitation he needed. He stroked his hands beneath her skirt, unable to stop himself from grasping her thighs. She wore nothing under her skirt since he still had her thong in his pocket, and the knowledge was intoxicating. Lifting her up against the wall, he stroked against her, wild with need.

Gripping her ass, he pulled back from the kiss and touched his forehead to hers. “Unbuckle my belt.”

Through half-mast eyes, she reached between them. The soft brush of her knuckles against his jeans rocked him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this out of control. His own pleasure was always secondary. There was just something too erotic about the feel of a woman’s orgasm to skip it. Tonight, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hang in ’til the end.

When his belt slipped free, he didn’t have to tell her what to do next. Her deft little fingers had his jeans undone and his cock in her hand in seconds. Then she was stroking him, and he shuddered at the sensation. The way her arms were tucked between them crushed her breasts together and he buried his face in the exposed cleavage, moaning as she straightened her index finger and slid her hand all the way to the base of his cock, that one finger following the sensitive trail farther between his balls.

“Damn, darlin’.”

“I want that, a lot.” She smiled, her eyes on his cock. “Condom?”

He nodded, his mind fogged. “Wallet.”

She grabbed his wallet from his jeans and wiggled until he didn’t have much choice but to put her down. Keeping her close, he jerked her shirt down as she searched. Pale, blue lace covered her large breasts, her nipples visible through the thin fabric.

“Found it,” she proclaimed. “Now, where were we?”

Cash gritted his teeth as she tore the foil package with her teeth and grasped his cock.

He gripped her shoulders as the condom rolled slowly over his erection. “We were at the point where you decide whether you want an eight-second rodeo ride or a long, slow trot. I’m game for either, darling.”

Her brows furrowed again, and he realized she wanted him in control. No questions, no consideration. She wanted to be fucked by a man that had to have her.

Winding his hand into her hair, he pressed a harsh kiss to her lips. “Bedroom. Now.”

She shook loose from his grip and grabbed his hand, pulling him through the dark apartment. They entered her bedroom and she hurried around her bed to turn on the light on her nightstand. The weak bulb barely illuminated the room, but it was enough that he could see her, waiting, wondering…

Stripping off his boots and shirt, he closed the distance between them. By the time he reached her his jeans and skivvies were on the floor as well. She watched him approach, her eyes shifting across his body like a touch. His cock was hard as a rock and the sloe-eyed look she cast him when she saw it made him smile.

“If you couldn’t tell, I want you. Badly.”

She nodded, fingers flexing at her side as if she didn’t know what to do next. Crushing her close, he hooked a hand around the back of her neck and let the other wander over her hip. “I don’t want you nervous, I want you mindless.”

She huffed out a breath. “Can we turn the light off?”

“Why?” Cash fingered the tiny pearl buttons holding her shirt together. “Am I that repulsive?”

“Not an iota.” She looked at him, her cheeks flushed. “I just—well, I’ve never… I don’t feel comfortable.”

Okay. So he hadn’t seen quite this extreme level of body issues coming. Not that he knew how to deal with them, but she’d started this affair with cold, stark realities. Even if she was looking for nothing more than a fuck, she wasn’t going to hide.

He kissed her neck, holding her back from reaching for the light. “This hard-on isn’t for anyone but you. I want to see all of you. Naked, wet, ready. I’m gonna leave your boots on, but that’s all you’ll wear. I’m gonna see every inch of your hide, darling.” As he spoke, he unzipped her skirt, letting it slide to the floor.

“And I’m going to touch everything I uncover, in the light, so I can see your reactions, your expressions, and especially the way my cock looks sliding in and out of your pussy.”

She was panting as he pulled her shirt away and slipped her bra free. The materials fell and her arms immediately went up to cover her breasts, her eyes downcast.

He didn’t get it. She was fucking beautiful. “Stop hiding.”

“I’m not hiding,” she rasped. “I’ve just never had sex with the lights on.”

Wait. What? “You’re kidding.”

Shawna wanted to scream. Was this a joke? What did he want from her? Full-on admission? “No, I’m not kidding. I’ve never screwed with a light on. Being eaten out in public? Definite first. So if you want the light on, so be it. As long as you get to it. I don’t need you to make me feel beautiful, or whisper lovely things in the dark. I need this.” She grabbed his cock and stroked it. “Now.”

She couldn’t believe she’d actually said it. The fact that he just kind of stared at her for a long moment didn’t ease her nerves either.

Then he was everywhere and nowhere at once. She couldn’t quite decipher his whispered, whiskey-soaked mumbles as his lips brushed her neck, her breasts, her thighs. All she knew was that she liked every sensation he created. When he spun her around, his hands on her hips, lips trailing sinfully hot kisses down her backbone, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out.

Goosebumps erupted across her arms, and she shivered, waiting to see what he planned next. One hand smoothed up from her hip. “I’m going to fuck you hard.”

Subtle pressure made her bend toward the bed. She grabbed the sheets as his hand slid down her spine to her ass. A sharp slap took her breath away, but he soothed away the discomfort with a tender hand. “Climb on the bed, Shawna.”

She followed the directive, excited and nervous at once. The moment she was on the bed, he pressed her down on her stomach, his hands stroking her back even as the hard press of his cock slid between her ass cheeks.

“So hot. And wet. I can see how bad you want me.” He pushed her farther onto the bed, his hand coiling in her hair to hold her as he entered her slowly.

That’s when the light melted away. It didn’t matter what he saw, how her body was shaped, or how her legs might jiggle. As long as he pumped hard, she was game.

His body was strong and solid against her as he leaned in, kissing her back. His hands gripped her breasts, tweaking her nipples as he pumped a bit deeper. “Fucking incredible.”

He was rough, but he wasn’t wild. Not the way she needed him. Fast and furious was her trigger when she was already wound tight. She’d spent the entire night ready to spin off at his demand and she didn’t want to wait any longer. “More,” she cried. “Faster.”